Sorry for the delay. Had several ideas, and it took my awhile to narrow down the best ones. Hm... lets see how this works out.
"I hate boats..." Pip groaned to himself as he lit the cigarette in his mouth and adjusted his cowboy hat. He was standing on some dock next to several large crates. He was waiting for their ship to arrive, and the sun was setting. Two of the crates were coffin shaped. In fact, they where actual coffins.
"I hate being stuffed in a box," a woman's voice complained from within one of the coffins.
"Deal with it," came a cold reply from the other coffin.
"Where did Fenrir get off to?" Pip looked around for his comrade, who had gone off to see when the boat would arrive to transport them. As if on cue, Fenrir came swaggering over to him and shrugged.
"They said in about an hour..." Fenrir pointed at his watch. He had changed since they had been assigned their mission. His hair had been cut shorter, and he was wearing blue jeans, a white t-shirt, a brown leather jacket with the collar turned up, and his revolver pistol holstered to his hip.
(A/N: I have no imagination when it comes to character design. For a basic idea of what he looks like now, look at the Captain. Same hair, collar turned up, but normal jacket and clothes, and no hat. Yeah... back to the story!)
Meanwhile, Pip was dressed in his usual attire: Hat, clothes, and braid. Sure, it stood out in a crowd. But he didn't care. It was just his style.
"Urrungh..." Seras moaned from inside her coffin.
"What's eating her?" Fenrir nodded at the source of the noise.
"I suppose vampires can be claustrophobic," Pip chuckled.
"When I get out... you are dead!" she threatened him.
"Ooooh, the voice in the box is making threats! Scary!" Pip shook his hands in mocking fear.
"Grrrrr..." Seras growled.
"Police Girl, be quiet. I am trying to sleep. I suggets you do the same..." Alucard warned her.
"Yes, Master..." she sighed. After a few minutes of silence, Fenrir and Pip heard soft snoring coming from her coffin.
"Well... now we wait," Pip sighed and took a long drag on his cigarette.
"Buenos noches," a voice made Pip jump, causing him to spit out his cigarette. Fenrir chuckled at him as they turned to face the speaker.
"Buenos noches, senior. Who are you?" Fenrir crossed his arms and leaned against a crate.
"The name is Tubalcain Alhambra," a man in a white suit removed his hat and bowed. "I have been assigned to escort you in your journey to our country."
"Okay. The name is..." Fenrir paused for a second. Something wasn't right. There was something supsicious about this man. But for now, he had no choice but to go along with what was happening. Amd he needed an alias. So he said the first thing that came to mind. "John. John Smith." Pip slowly turned to face him and mouthed the words 'John Smith?'. Fenrir shrugged, and Pip turned back to face the man.
"And I am..." Pip hesitated. "Jeac Pierre!"
"Ze annoying French man!" Fenrir interupted with a fake French accent. He recieved a kick in the shin from Pip for that.
"Right, well... the ship has just arrived. Follow me, and I will take you aboard. You possessions," Alhambra gestured towards the coffins, "Will be brought aboard soon."
"Alrighty then," Fenrir nodded in agreement.
"Lead ze way..." Pip nodded as well. As the man in the suit led them down the dock and towards the large yacht awaiting them, Fenrir paused momentarily. He heard something in the distance. It sounded like singing. And it was very familiar. In fact, it was an opera he had once heard. He only recognized the tune of it, because for some odd reason it was being sung in German.
"Something wrong, Mr. Smith?" Alhambra asked him.
"Nope. I just thought I heard something..." Fenrir laughed to himself. Alhambra laughed as well, and then continued to lead them to the boat. They walked up the boarding ramp and stepped onto the wooden deck of the yacht.
"Nice ship..." Pip complimented nobody in particular. "But I still hate boats." Pip noticed Fenrir sniffing the air. "What are you doing?"
"Something smells funny. Don't you smell it?" he looked around.
"Like what?" Alhambra asked.
"Like... dead things. It stinks..." Fenrir sniffed again.
"This IS a dock. There are probably dead fish everywhere!" Pip pointed at a fishing boat sailing by.
"I suppose you are right..." he shrugged.
"I will be right back..." Alhambra smiled, and then walked away.
----
"What did you do with the crew?" Alhambra asked as he threw open the door to the ship's control room on the bridge. A woman with long black hair was standing by the window, and she was flanked by two men in grey uniforms. She laughed upon hearing his question.
"Killed them, of course. You helped, remember?" she turned to face him. The bespectacled and freckled woman smiled, revealing a set of fangs.
"I know. But the ghouls... what did you do with them?" Alhambra seemed nervous.
"Well, most of them ve through overboard. But ve haf a few of zem down below deck working in ze engine room. Why waste ze manpower? Don't you agree, Alhambra?" she smirked.
"The one in the jacket. He said something about the smell of death," Alhambra informed her. She chuckled.
"Let me guess... you told him it was fish?" she asked.
"No. His friend did," he replied.
"Und he believed it?" she raised an eyebrow.
"I don't know..." he adjusted his hat nervously. "What do we do if things go wrong, Rip?"
"Ve kill zem. Ve kill zem, and then ve sink the ship. No problems," she explained.
"What should I do now?" he began to turn back towards the door.
"Play poker with zem or something," she suggested. Alhambra smiled and removed a playing card from his hat. He looked at the Ace of Spades, smiled, and then slid it back into place.
"With pleasure," he smirked, revealing his own fangs.
----
About this time, Pip and Fenrir where sitting in the dining room below deck. They where sitting at a table, telling jokes and laughing at their own stupidity. Alhambra suddenly entered the room, strode over to them, and then smiled. "Anybody up for a game of poker?" he pulled a deck of cards from his jacket.
"Sure!" Pip and Fenrir said in unison.
"Excellent!" Alhmabra replied happily. "Excellent!"
Uh oh. Things are looking bad for our heroes. Alucard and Seras are asleep, and Pip and Fenrir are playing cards with the enemy. Could things get worse?
Well, I suppose an iceberg could spice things up...
Hm...
Nah!