Elite Vegito pretty much hit the nail on the head. I have decided to re-write the manga. Not my original intention... And Fenrir kind of ruins it. He doesn't fit in that well with all of this... Oh well... I will most likely do another story after this. Another re-write, and hopefully better. Also, Elite Vegito wanted to see fight scenes. Long, drawn-out, detailed fight scenes. This was of course my original plan, as you will soon see.

And now, ladies and gentelmen, the main event! I give you... the next chapter!

"Well, zat can't be good," Pip looked down at the spot on the floor where the Nazi's body hd just been. The moment it had hit the ground, the corpse had dissappeared. This did not bode well for the Frenchman. "What iz ze plan?"

"We kill them all," Alucard shrugged. "Then think of something else."

"Good idea!" Pip gave a sarcastic thumbs-up. "I'll wake up Seras..."

"You might want to be careful. Vampires hate rude awakenings..." Alucard warned him.

"Great..." Pip sighed.

-----

"Go check on Alhambra. He is taking too long," Rip Van Winkle ordered Schrodinger. He snapped off a crisp salute, and then headed off to check on the vampire. "I'll wait for our guests to come up on deck..." she smiled as she picked her musket up and headed out of the cabin.

Schrodinger didn't even bother to knock on the door. He just waltzed into the dinning room and expected to talk to Alhambra. Instead, he found the room filled with smoke. "What happened in here?" he coughed.

"The Hellsing puppet hit a fire extinguisher..." Alhambra's voice emenated from nearby. The smoke filtered out of the open door, and soon Schrodinger saw the remains of what had been a clearly one-sided fight. Alhambra was playing Solitair at a table. Across the room Fenrir was hanging from the wall, pinned to it by a large number of playing cards. His eyes where distant and dull, and his clothing was drenched in blood. "Not much of a fight..."

"Oh. Vell, Rip wanted me to make sure you where still alive..." Schrodinger shrugged.

"Hmph. What did she expect? This human to kill me?" Alhambra scoffed.

THUD.

Alhmabra and Schrodinger both looked back at the dead soldier. He was was no longer hanging on the wall. Now he was crouched on one knee, surrounded by blood-soaked cards. "Human?" she smiled. "You think I'm human?" his smiled turned into a grin.

"A regenerator?" Alhambra raised an eyebrow.

"Nein," Schrodinger smiled. "You vampires have such weak senses..."

"If you want a fight..." Fenrir stood up and popped his knuckles. "Come and get it."

"Not a human, and not a regenerator..." Alhambra rose from his seat. "Quite cocky for a vampire."

"Not a vampire, either..." Schrodinger rolled his eyes. He took a few steps back.

"Well, whatever he is..." Alhambra flicked his wrist, causing several cards to appear between his fingers. "I'll make sure he's dead this time."

"Ja, good luck with that..." Schrodinger casually commented. "I'll go tell Rip that you died like a fool." And with that, he was gone into thin air.

"Died like a fool?" Alhambra raised an eyebrow.

"Still curious as to what I am?" Fenrir cocked his head to the side.

"Not really..." Alhambra sneered. "I just want to get this over with as fast as possible."

"Alright," Fenrir shrugged. "Your funeral." Alhambra took this as a cue to begin the fight. He hurled the cards at Fenrir, who ducked beneath them with ease. "Try better, please. I want to have some fun."

"Don't try my patience!" Alhambra dissappeared in a whirlwind of cards. He appeared behind Fenrir and launched a new assault. Fenrir ducked beneath the razor-sharp cards and rolled across the ground. He picked up his fallen pistol and raised it to fire. However, a card suddenly sliced through it, causing the gun to fall apart. "You'll have to do better than that."

"Alright," Fenrir shrugged. He reached into his jacket and removed an antique socket bayonet.

"Is that a bayonet?" Alhambra scoffed.

"Yes. I'm holding on to it until I can return it to its rightful owner. Until then, there is no use in letting it go to waste!" Fenrir rushed forward with stunning speed. Alhambra barely dodged the deadly blade in time.

"You can't expect to kill me with that," Alhambra taunted him. Of course, no sooner had he said this than had Fenrir lodged the knife in his chest.

"Ta-da," Fenrir replied. Suddenly, Alhamdra's body dissappeared into a cloud of cards. "A dopple-ganger?"

"Behind you!" Alhambra appeared behind him. The moment Fenrir spun around, the vampire grabbed him by the throat. Using bone-crushing force, the vampire began to choke him. Or at least he tried to.

"That won't work..." Fenrir calmly stated. He grabbed Alhambra's hands and pried them loose. Without much effort, he snapped the vampire's wrists.

"AAAAH!" Alhambra screamed.

"It takes a lot to kill a werewolf," he smirked, revealing a mouth full of fangs.

-----

"La-dee-dee-dee-da!" Seras sang happily to herself as she skipped through the fields of flowers beneath the sun. She was happy. No problems, worries, or trouble. And thankfully, no Master!

"Seras, wake up!" a voice suddenly rang in her ears.

"Huh?" she looked around. Suddenly, a creepy old guy with wings, wearing only a trench coat and his underwear, appeared in front of her. "AAAAAAAHHH!!!"

"I am the Spirit of the Halconnon. I am here to warn you, Seras Victoria!" the man told her with a spooky tone.

"Warn me of what?!" she stared at the spirit.

"Great danger lies ahead of you! You must fight hard to protect your friends! And you must also make a hard choice, as well!" he waved his hands around.

"What?! Why?!" Seras grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him.

"I cannot say! And don't freak out when you wake up!" he gave her one last bit of advice before dissappearing.

"Why me?!" she screamed as her dream faded away. She suddenly found herself laying in her coffin, face-to-face with Pip Bernadette. He was leaning into her coffin, looking her in the eyes... eye.

"Bonjour?" he greeted her kindly.

"Back. Away. Slowly," she was fighting hard to refrain from tearing his head off.

"I was just trying to wake you up..." he shrugged.

"Why?" she sat up.

"It is time to go to war," Alucard suddenly threw her rifle at her from across the room. Pip yelled as it flew past him.

"Watch it!" he barked.

"War with who?" Seras caught the weapon with ease.

"Vampire Nazis," Pip shrugged. "Nothing serious..."

This story isn't really that funny... Sure, there is comedic relief, but nothing like I had hoped. Oh well... it makes for a good action adventure, at least!