A/N: I don't even own an Evangelion, much less the series. If I did own an Eva...several annoying countries would be gone and there'd be a religion dedicated to me. Remember, I'm not blasphemous. Now on killing that damn Angel.

Italics: Though/Yui

Bold: Sound

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'You know it's too bad I can't completely eliminate my AT field so it won't notice me...'

'Shit' Shigeru shouted, "High-energy reaction detected inside the target!"

"What!" Misato hoped she didn't hear that. It was never a good sign.

Shigeru continued, "Its circumferential parts are increasing speed and concentrating!"

Ritsuko realized it, "That means..."

Remiel fired a shot from the equatorial corner pointed at where Unit 01 would pop up. The elevator hit the surface, the evil pretty beam of death on target, headed straight for it.

"No, DODGE IT!" Misato screamed, eyes bugging out.

"AT FIELD MAX," Shinji belted out with his own AT Field (he decided that he should name his moves like most anime characters...makes no sense to me either)...PSSHH! The Eva was holding back the beam...but it's palms were melting quickly.

'Not working Shinji! Move to 'Sleeping Asuka' scenario,' Yui wasn't happy that her hands were melting off. The beam was steadily moving past the palms of the Eva's hands

"God damn it," Shinji quickly jumped over the rest of the beam while disabling the field, shaking his hands meaninglessly.

"Thank goodness," Misato slouched a little.

"Umm, another high-energy reaction detected inside the target, release in 3 seconds," Shigeru monitored the Magi output.

"Misato, tell me when to jump," Shinji was running up to the blue menace. 'Mom, what else have you thought of?'

"Jump!" Unit 01 hurdled the beam as it took out a mountain.

'You don't have enough control for an AT spike, even if you did, we'd need a 180 some sync to make one large enough...'

"Sempai, Shinji's sync jumped to 99.8 and is approaching 100," Maya reported.

"Jump Shinji!" Misato told her cooking god as another beam came out of the fifth.

The beam destroyed yet another mountain, the mapmakers were rubbing their greedy hands together like in all giant robot battle anime. You'd be surprised how cool it's considered to have the up-to-date map.

'Next idea mom,' Shinji was nearing the edge of the city and the angel.

'Ok, move to the pallet rifle and try to negate its field,'

The Eva hefted a rifle in each hand and unloaded into the angel less than a block away now. Remiel's AT field blocked every shot and then the prog knife wasn't big enough to reach the core or split the AT field wide enough to go melee.

"What now Misato?" Shinji wanted a different opinion this time.

'Hey, I can't help it that you're not good enough to sync more...nevermind, I'm not good enough either. Think perverted thoughts!'

"Keep up the attacks, it's doesn't seem able to attack and defend at once," oops, she spoke too soon, "Jump!"

Unit 01 barely made it over the weaker beam, "What about the positron rifle Ritsuko?" 'Why do I get the feeling this will be the same as last time?'

'Sorry Shinji, we'll practice dual syncing after this. In the meantime try to negate it's AT field and keep moving, try to sync more with me than the eva.'

"It's not strong enough to penetrate the AT field and there's not enough time if the angel decides to attack instead," Ritsuko chugged out the data.

"His Sync ratio has, what, it's 125 and slowly rising!" Maya announced to the shocked crowed.

"This is not working," everyone looked back to the commander with a common thought: 'Well duh retard,' (A/N: No offense to those that feel offended) "Order a strategic withdrawal."

Shinji jumped another weak beam and noticed the angel's AT field was weaker than ever. 'We really need Rei's help with this one, oh well everything turned out last time. If anything we'll get the lance and stab the #$#$er,'

'True, but they're calling you now,' Yui focused more on her syncing with the Eva, strengthening the anti-AT field.

"Hey Shinji, bring it in quickly. We're retreating. You'll need to dive down elevator 13," Misato relayed.

The commander's thoughts: 'This is not a retreat, it's a strategic withdrawal. It would not be necessary if the third child was not weak,' he leaned back in the chair, forgetting it was broken. Smack! He fell again.

Unit 01 jumped down the elevator and landed on the platform halfway down. The platform returned to the holding bay where repairmen were on standby.

'Shinji, here's the principle behind dual syncing, your sync's high enough to use it. Basically, each pilot normally syncs with the eva, up to 100. The dual part is that the eva can also sync back with the pilot once it reaches 100 and create a max ratio of 200. I am not the eva Shinji, I help you sync with it though.

When you're not conscious, I pilot and can easily reach 200. I help you control the eva, but it actually causes interference when you pilot past 100. When you reach 100, I need to sync with the eva to reach 200, then the eva can sync with both of us to produce a seemingly 400 ratio.

In actuality, it's 600. You sync with the eva, with me, and the eva back to you. Also I sync with the you, the eva, and the eva back to me. The computers don't record the 200 between our two souls when you hit 100 and we have to sync so I can sync with the eva. Here's an example, when you piloted Unit 02 with Asuka, you could have achieved a 900 that would've been a 600.'

'Mom, STOP! Put it simply as possible.' Shinji's swirly eyes kept spinning.

'Fine. You need to sync to 100 and then sync with me to help me sync with the eva. We reach 200 and then become one with the eva to achieve maximum power, but you lose your body. We can stop it before that happens around 400 or I'll prevent my self from syncing fully to hover around 190. We then kick ass and I force you to watch Hentai'

"Shinji! Snap out of it," a supersized image of Misato took up the HUD.

"Hey Misato, what are we going to do?" Shinji's voice had a fake worried tone to it. "This is why I need a sword Ritsuko."

"Complain later Shinji-kun and report to the bridge while repairs commence," Ritsuko ordered and the power shut off to the entry plug.

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Shinji was still in his plug suit as he entered the bridge, Misato was entering strategies into the Magi for probabilities. Ritsuko was analyzing the results from Unit 01 and the commander was calling to have his chair replaced.

'Everyone's working but him and he'll get the credit, one more reason he's the uber-bastard. Geeze, Asuka's German still lingers around,' Shinji walked to Maya and sat next to her.

"Hey Maya, what are you doing?"

"Hi Shinji, I'm checking the sync ratios currently. How did you go above the 100 mark?"

"I'm not sure, I think I felt the Eva move on it's own before the last jump. What do you think's gonna happen now?"

"I'm not sure, the eva feedback matches up with the readings." 'This is strange, it's like the results from Rei's first activation...'

"Maybe it was trying to sync with me, I really think the eva's are alive too. Remember the third angel." 'Heh, mom was awesome!'

'That was horrible.' "Yes, I do. Your ratio spiked last battle to 101 and reached 133 this time. The AT fields produced were stronger as well, I need to talk about this with sempai."

"Yea, hey. Could you mention to Misato about using JSSDF's positron rifle for a ranged attack? I'm going to talk to Ritsuko and then Rei. I'll be having lunch after that and I'll bring you some. Hey Aoba, Hyuga! You want in on lunch? I'm bringing some for Maya."

"Cool," "Sure," they affirmed his decision as he walked past them to Ritsuko.

"Hey Ritsuko, I'm reporting in. What do I do now?" Shinji said knowing there was nothing.

'What can he do?' "Nothing, just try to stay out of the way. Sorry Shinji-kun." Ritsuko returned to the keyboard and brought up some diagnostic screens from the repairmen.

'Yep, ah. It feels good to not almost die. There's Rei, gah! keep eyes up...I think mom developed the plug suits for the bedroom.'

Rei was standing in the corner out of the way, scarlet eyes looking at the various monitors. Misato was talking to Maya when she rushed out of the room and Ritsuko went to Cage 7. The Bridge bunnies stayed put and processed the incoming information. Gendo and Kouzou left for Gendo's office.

"Rei?"

She looked up, 'Shinji,' "Yes Shinji?"

"Do you want to get something to eat? I said that I would bring back the techs their lunch while they work and I need some help." 'I can't believe she...well I can actually believe she waited here until Misato came back too retrieve the cannon.'

"I will come to assist you," Rei followed Shinji out of the room as he began to ask her on how she likes her apartment.

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Outside, an inflatable drone of Unit 01 was vaporized as it floated above the railroad track.

"Damn, that's the 12th one, it didn't attack until it reached here," Misato pointed to a spot on the screen, "Next!"

A type-12 mortar cannon shot at the angel, the attack hitting the AT field meaninglessly. The angel then let the cannon join the 12 decoys in obliterated peace.

"I got it! It only attacks objects in a certain range or those that attack it. What's the AT field status?"

"It's strong enough to distort visual space, close combat is suicide. That sword the kid wanted isn't anywhere near complete and the weapons are not large enough," the supervisor of the research staff told her.

The blue angel had started to drill into the Geo-front through Tokyo-3 a few minutes ago.

"What about the drill?"

"It has a diameter of 17.5 meters and is positioned to attack NERV directly..."

"Well shit! When's that going to happen?"

"Our best estimate is at 12:06:54 A.M. tonight. It just hit the first layer of armor."

"What's the condition of Unit 01?"

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Ritsuko was currently with the repairmen, "Unit 01 has extensive damage to its hands, but that is the extent of the damage. All repairs will be completed in 2 hours."

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Somehow these conversations mixed together into a confusing to read text. Misato asked another question, "What about Unit 00?" She rushed to Cage 7 to find Ritsuko.

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"Unit 00 is ready for sortie, the slight feedback in the signal still remains. We don't know if it's normal for that eva."

"So an actual battle almost impossible," Misato realized something. "Damn, Maya's a genius!"

"What?" Ritsuko was surprised about her assistant's compliment.

"She recommended using the JSSDF's positron rifle for an attack and it looks like the best shot."

"You know that's insane, right? Is this what happens when you have to make your own breakfast without Shinji?"

"No, he left it in the oven to keep it warm. Err, anyways, it can be done in 9 hours and has a minimum reliance on Unit 00."

"I'll enter it in the Magi and let's pray that Shinji and Rei can pull it off."

"A long-distance direct firing from outside the target's range?" Fuyutsuki reviewed the potential plan.

"Yes. A single point attack with a high energy convergence unit, without first neutralizing the target's AT-field."

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Fuyutuki set down the folder, "And what do the Magi say?"

Misato grinned and pointed to the folder again, "All of the Magi confirm it can work."

Fuyutuki eyes bulged and voice shrunk, "The probability of success is 80.7...how?"

Misato continued her stupid grin, "That's the highest value out of any plan." 'My job is going to be so much easier since Ritsuko updated the Magi with Shinji's odds.'

Gendo, not knowing why the odds were so high, confirmed it, "There's no reason to reject it. Proceed, Captain Katsuagi."

"Yes sir!" 'Bastard, sir!' Misato left. She had to find Rei and borrow a huge-ass gun. Did I mention she likes guns after cars then beer?

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Shinji and Rei had lunch and returned to the bridge with the bunnies' orders. Rei wasn't sociable, but Shinji kept hinting future ideas to Maya while she took a break to eat. She eventually returned to work and Shinji asked Rei what she wanted to do. Rei replied that she would remain here and Shinji took a nap against the wall. There was nothing to hear but the clicking of computer keys and mice for an hour. Swish! Maya and Shinji both looked up to see Misato pulling Rei out of the room by an arm and commanding Unit 00 activation.

Rei's thoughts returned to, 'This is a confusing day,' as she was lifted off the ground from centrifugal force as Misato pulled her around the corner towards the cage.

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'Who the hell is this?' one of the technicians of the JSSDF wondered.

Misato was showing the requisition order of the cannon to NERV's command and telling the same thing to another techie.

"You might want it, but that's insane!"

'What the heck is with people calling me insane today?' "We'll try to return this in the best condition possible, thank you for your cooperation. Rei!"

The supervisor was stomping his way to this intruder, bent on chewing her out when the roof lifted off the lab. He, of course, stopped seeing the giant orange cyclops reach for the cannon and, of course, waved goodbye as their guest left, telling Rei to be careful.

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I could enter a couple more scenes of preparation, but to sum it up:

Shinji, Rei, Gendo, Kouzou, Misato, Maya, Shigeru, Makoto and a few random people were in the debriefing room. Misato had been very busy.

'It's amazing what you can do with Rei following you in a giant bio-mechanical robot, it's almost as if everyone concerned was afraid for their life and rushed the commands faster than humanly possible.' Shinji was sorely tempted to take the Eva to the mall next week so he could be the only one in line for the new Halo and Final Fantasy coming out.

Misato had acquired all of Japan's electricity, created a nation-wide alert of the blackout, set-up the supply system relays, convinced the space program to give up a re-entry shield, surveyed the area surrounding Tokyo-3 for the best sniping spot, and named the operation: "I have just found my cooking god, I will kill to keep him!...err Operation Yashima."

"Okay, does everyone understand? Good. Pilots, prepare to leave in 60 minutes. The operation will commence at 11:30, the angel will have broken through the last shield by then." Everyone stood up to leave.

"Wait," they all turned back to Shinji, "Who's doing what?" 'How did we survive?'

Everyone sweat dropped (sans Gendo) and turned to Misato and Ritsuko, thinking the same thing now. "Heh heh, of course. We were planning on moving to location first." 'Hopefully they believe that' Misato replied and thought. "Shinji, Ritsuko will explain the operation of the cannon to you and the shield to Rei. You're the gunner due to your higher sync and Rei will defend you."

Shinji didn't think so this time, "No. I will defend and Rei will take the shot."

"Pilot," the commander stepped in, 'Rei can and is ready to be replaced. Unit 01 cannot be risked yet.' "You will follow orders from your superiors."

"Maybe I will, but only after my input," the rest of the crowd were excited at the site of another Ikari showdown. The were all rooting for Shinji of course, even Misato and Ritsuko who developed the plan earlier.

"Regardless, third child. This is the most probable set up for success. Consider it a direct order from your employer," 'he has too much confidence...'

"Unit 01 is more suited to defend than Unit 00, its AT field has already shown it can hold the enemy's attacks back on its own. The only specifications for the sniper is pulling the trigger of a computer-guided shot. Unit 01 would have greater success for a first shot, only by 2 percent, but a less chance if a second shot is required because Unit 00 may not last long enough when the enemy retaliates. Your information is based on a primary shot being successful."

Gendo looked back at Ritsuko with a calm, yet you know he's gonna be pissed if that's true, expression. Ritsuko checked the folder containing the plan and nodded back. 'I am not going to leave myself alone with him for a while...'

Shinji just had to ask of course, "Do you want to risk Rei's life when I am more likely to survive an attack?" 'Hell yea you want to.' "I refuse to pilot otherwise, the only casualties would be the NERV facilities since we have prior notice to evacuate if necessary. There is no life on the line this time, father."

"Very well, you will be reprimanded for jeopardizing the operation later by withholding critical information," Gendo left the room.

"Ha! I guess I should have mentioned it earlier, I mean, I could've read your mind about the plan sometime prior to this meeting," Shinji was pissed. Everyone sympathized with him, well Rei was confused yet again.

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The time passed and Ritsuko and Misato finished giving the final briefing to Rei and Shinji. Everyone had stayed away from the Commander and were scared shitless around Shinji, he continued to mumble and squeeze his right hand. A rumor floated around that he had crushed a full juice can that Hyuga had handed him and another that he picked up the commander's car and hit the angel with it. The only one that stayed with Shinji was Rei, who was feeling put off herself. Finally, Misato had told him it was time.

"Shinji, I'm not going to blame you for how you feel, just put your anger aside and get the job done."

"I'm okay Misato, can I buy a punching bag tomorrow? I need to unload and I doubt you're gonna let me kill the bastard."

"Okay Shinji-kun. Just remember you're protecting us and that he can't punish you that badly. You're a minor and his case will be overturned by the Magi," Misato left him alone on the docking platform with Rei.

"Why do you question the commander?" Rei spoke up, "You don't not trust him?"

'I thought I avoided this conversation today,' "No Rei, I do not. I suggested a better plan and will be punished for it. Why would he risk your life?"

"I do not know Shinji," Rei knew she was replaceable, "The commander has his reasons."

"If he did, he did not use them to justify my pending punishment. He's upset that his way isn't the best way for everyone."

"..." Rei sat there silent, then turned to look at the scenery. 'I do not like being confused so often.'

'Hm, might as well see if we got any progress,' Shinji pushed his anger aside, "Why do you pilot Rei? I would like to know."

"Because it is my...connection to life," 'Is it?'

"Oh, that makes sense." 'It was to people before.'

"..." 'Makes sense?'

Shinji looked over and saw her confused face. He took a little pity on the confused girl, "It seems as if you're only purpose is to pilot eva, right now that's my purpose too." Rei looked at him. "I have to make my other connections to life in order to live more of it out. You need to do the same, the commander can only show you one possibility of the future, but you may create an infinite amount. Whether you know it or not, your life will always change. Think about this morning."

'Does she only change when I perform these philosophical speeches?' Shinji watched her return her gaze to a nearby treetop.

'I understand...I think. I need to focus on the mission now and think later,' Rei came to a pseudo decision as the signal light went off. "It's time, here we go. Good...luck."

She stepped towards the plug and Shinji went off in his direction, smiling at the results. His anger reappeared as he remembered why Rei was like that, then it led to more rage as he found more reasons to hate the commander. It looks like he never got a chance to work off all the anger towards the bastard.

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Unit 00 was crouched on the mountain top, its single eye looking past the barrel at Unit 01, which was holding the shuttle shield in one hand. The tension mounted as the clock neared 11:30, the crew was on the bridge waiting for Misato to give the final signal.

"Start Operation Yashima...now! Rei, you're using the energy from all of Japan. Kick some ass!"

"Yes."

Misato turned to the main electrician, "Start first connection."

(A/N: Random Names Ahead)

Cooler: "From first through 80th tank, start power supply."

Volto: "Voltage up. Powering up the water exchange unit."

Coolidge: "All cooling systems at full power."

Tempa: "Temperature stable. No problems."

Posita: "Positron charge is nominal."

Misato, sick of the author writing in script, "Second connection now."

Accelo: "Start all accelerators."

Convera: "Start the converger."

Substatoe: "All power supplies to the submission station on Mt. Futagoyama. No problems."

Misato was going to kill the author if he kept this up, "Release all final safety systems."

Rei focused on the aiming reticule provided by the computer support. Listening to the com for permission for the go ahead.

"Adjustment for the gravity field and revolution of the Earth is minus 0.0009. 0.2 to the critical voltage."

"All energy to the positron rifle," Misato commanded. The coolers could be seen spinning off the heat and the positron charge started to glow.

"8, 7, 6..."

'Shit, not again,' Shigeru didn't like this computer anymore, "High energy reaction detected in the target."

Ritsuko snapped sharply in his direction, "What!"

"3, 2, 1..."

"Fire!" Misato shouted as Rei pulled the trigger. The two beams of highly charged particle energy warped as the charges repelled and were deflected off course. Destroying another two mountains.

Shinji was currently the only one not worried, including Gendo. He, instead was raging with his mother over how much of a bastard the #$#$ing bastard of $#$#$#$#$#$# was gonna die.

"Cooling of the rifle has started. Another high energy reaction detected in the target," Shigeru wanted to swap places with Maya.

"This is bad!" Misato began. Another beam of death raced towards Rei as Shinji jumped out in front of it with the shield in reflex.

"Shinji-kun!" Misato, Ritsuko, and Maya shouted.

Rei simply opened her mouth and closed it. 'Shinji.'

Unit 01 had dug into the ground and the shield was absorbing the damage. Yui came up with an idea.

'I say we cut his balls off and make him eat them!'

'No mom, we shove them, still attached, in a blender and make him drink it mixed with Misato's cooking!' The debate raged on and Gendo shifted uneasily in his seat.

"The shield cannot hold for...," Ritsuko was timing the degrading of the shield as Unit 01 dropped it. "#$#$! wait..."

The beam of death had slammed against Unit 01's AT Field and deflected skywards...destroying a Seele observation plane.

"His sync ratio's at 198 and steady!" Maya concluded and the already jawdropped audience fell over as the angel fired another shot, Rei had been waiting half a minute for the order to fire again.

The third shot hit Unit 01 directly in the head and deflected into a Seele satellite. Gendo gave up trying to comprehend what was happening, his pawn was confident, smart, was deflecting the most powerful beam attack to date into Seele property, and his manhood had completely retracted into his body. Tomorrow he would forget all about Shinji as he tried to explain this to his masters and got his bi-yearly CAT scan.

'Okay, we will label this torture 'Fantasy' after the first image I sent you.'

'Agreed, hahaha! It felt good to get that off my chest, hey! When do you think they're going to start the operation?' "Hey Misato! Tell Rei to fire already!" Shinji was oblivious to what had happened.

"Right, fire," Misato sat down and started to write up a request to bring alcohol onto the bridge during missions.

The positron cannon blasted through Remiel and blew it into the mountain. It was 11:05 now as the two evas headed back to NERV.

"Good job Rei, I thought this would be harder," Shinji communicated.

"Hai, I did as well. You did a good job also."

"Thanks. Hey, the shield melted..." 'Shit, how many times did I get hit?'

'Only twice...'

'Good to know,' Shinji shrugged it off, not knowing he deflected the blasts, would it really matter tomorrow? "I guess I protected you."

"Yes, you did Shinji," Rei smiled and Shinji smiled back over the HUD's.

OMAKES LATER

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(A/N: Ah, another chapter. I felt like it was boring, but I didn't like the series episode of it either. I think I'll try for updates every Sunday starting March 11th.

OMAKES (no submissions yet, so this is all my own) SUBMIT SOME! I COMMAND YOU! (yea right...)

For the Naruto Lovers

"No, DODGE IT!" Misato screamed, eyes bugging out.

"KAITEN!" Eva Unit 01 spun like a top, creating a layer of AT field to deflect the attack. Unfortunately this created a whirlpool current within the entry plug and knocked Shinji out. Unit 01 fell over as another beam flew overhead.

ROOOOAARRRR! Yui was pissed again, why the hell can't these things learn? She lowered her left arm and grasp the wrist with her right.

"The pilot is unconscious, Unit 01 has gone berserker again!"

Gendo was smug as he knew Yui could not be beat, 'Some day you will be mine again.'

ROAAARRR! (CHIDORI!) The eva's eyes turned blood red as it ejected the cable and ran past another death beam. An AT field was rapped around Yui's left hand as it thrust thru the angel's AT field, core, and body. The sprint didn't stop there as Yui past the city limits and spiked Remiel into the ground like a giant football.

"That was unique," Ritsuko was the first to say something as Unit 01 approached a NERV camera. The eyes of Unit 01 were swirling red as three commas appeared in each.

Gasp! Everyone turned back to Gendo convulsing on the floor, he was the only one that heard, "Hello Gendo-chan, for the next 720 hours you will be trapped, you'll be at my every command, and you will break!"

Gendo held the sides of his head as 720 hours passed in the blink of an eye, things were shoved where they could not fit, objects were mutilated and force fed, bones were broken, skin melted, genitalia set aflame, and worse. You think he would have known better as he regained control and looked into the monitor again.

This time he heard one word, "B4K4!" as he lost all bodily control and fell to the ground, mouth foaming.

"Crap, can we get a janitor up here?" Kozou asked as he stood on his chair and held his nose.

Can I borrow your gun? A first chapter plot bunny

"Misato, what type of gun is that?" Shinji pointed as they walked in circles around the bowels of NERV.

"I don't know, the author's too lazy to find out."

"Maybe I can tell you, I'll keep the safety on."

"Sure, who could it hurt?"

They finally found Ritsuko, "Is this the third child?"

"Yep, one Shinji Ikari meet Ritsuko Akagi."

The lights went out as they passed into the cage, "Whoah, is this what my father's been working on?" as the lights came on. Then, as softly as possible, "Say correct if you want to die."

"Correct." Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!

Gendo fell over the railing, riddled with bullet holes and dying. A loud explosion shook a support beam and it fell towards Shinji.

"OH MY GOD...unit 01 moved on its own, fascinating!" Ritsuko's eyes glowed at this new discovery.

The right arm of Unit 01 had caught the beam, but the mouth was pried open chewing something. Blood was leaking thru the mouthguards as a pair of broken glasses fell out.

"The commander, NO!" Ritsuko freaked, "Why! Now I have to run a contamination test on Unit 01 Sigh Let's hope for humanity Unit 01 can't get sick..."

What if Rei had her memories as well A chapter 2 omake Rei's PoV for you Rei fans

Rei was lying there, listlessly staring at the ceiling. The only signs of life were her gentle breathing movement, the occasional blinks that covered her red eyes, and the beeps of the heart monitor. She heard the door slide open and turned her head slightly.

'Shinji-kun is here?' And she stared at him.

"Hello Ayanami-san." 'He does not remember.' How are you feeling?" Shinji assumed the bastard position and placed his hands in front of him, mirroring his father.

"I'm acceptable," She fought the incoming depression, 'Who will help me prevent third impact now?'

"I just wanted to make sure you were feeling well, you were bleeding severely, right?"

"Correct," Rei tried putting her mask back on.

"Well I hope you recover soon. We have school together and I'd like to see you there. Are the other students nice?"

Rei took a split second longer to answer the question, 'This is too diferent, maybe he... what could it hurt, I'll just say it was the painkillers if he doesn't know' "Shinji-kun, do you remember third impact?"

"WHAT!" 'Oh no, he doesn't...' "You remembered? What the hell was becoming a giant all about?"

Rei leaped up, injuries vanished, and hugged him, "I'm sorry, I just got a little carried away with Lilith to reset history, but it worked!"

Shinji returned the hug, "Yea, we're back...wait, what about Asuka?"

Rei's eyebrow twitched, she really did not want to hear about this, it was enough that she got to live with him. Something snapped, she flipped Shinji over and yelled, "Shut up! I'm here, half naked, and horny as hell!"

"Wha..." Rei's lips crashed down on his as she started a one-sided makeout session. Shinji's newly incorporated hentai side, seeing as the logic circuit was blown, shrugged and went with the flow, returning the favors.

The guard burst in and Rei jumped out of the bed and charged him. She lifted him by the collar and threw him straight into the emergency room, then locked the door. Damn it! She was supposed to be one with him in third impact and no one would dare interrupt her nookie now!

Shinji smiled and only got a phrase out before everything resumed, "We shouldn't, but who cares?" Rei smiled brilliantly and licked her lips. All was right with the world.

Unfair, this chapter

Outside, an inflatable drone of Unit 01 was vaporized as it floated above the railroad track.

"Damn, that's the 12th one, it didn't attack until it reached here," Misato pointed to a spot on the screen, "Next!"

A type-12 mortar cannon shot at the angel, the attack hitting the AT field meaninglessly. The angel then let the cannon join the 12 decoys in obliterated peace.

"I got it! It only attacks objects in a certain range or those that attack it." 'What if...no, well they deserve it I guess.'

"Use the special drones and charge the angel! Everyone turn away!"

A giant inflatable naked Gendo, hands open for a hug with a creepy smile, was driven toward the angel. The angel retracted its drill and started to move in the opposite direction, scared to even hit it with an AT field. When the angel was outside the city, dozens of Gendos covered in duct tape and super glue dropped from planes and adhered themselves to Remiel.

Misato peeked at her watch, not looking at the screens due to the danger of permanent blindness, and told the technicians to just look for energy reactions and nothing else.

"Holy Shit, the enemy's core is expanding exponentially!"

A huge explosion occurred and all of humanity thanked the angels for removing those drones from existence. Gendo was banned by Seele and the UN to ever procreate again to prevent another being of such stature. Shinji tested out to be an anomaly due to Yui, they would not chance it again.

It's time to DuDuDDDDDDuel!

"Regardless, third child. This is the most probable set up for success. Consider it a direct order from your employer," 'he has too much confidence...'

"That's it! I'm fed up with you! I challenge you to a duel!" Everyone gasped, it was well known that Gendo was the best strategist, dueler, cheater, and bastard in the world. He took the title with great pride.

"Fine, you will lose." Gendo shuffled a deck of cards and slammed them against the holo-projector in the room. Shinji did the same.

"You go first," and Shinji drew his cards.

"Agreed. I summon my best card "Gendo, the Unstoppable Bastard". It can control any and all monsters on your side of the field. It also prevents summoned monsters for attacking for one turn. I then play "Reiquarium" to produce "Rei Ayanami" she cannot be destroyed no matter what and prevents any magic and traps from affecting my side of the field so long as I discard one card per my standby phase. I then play one card face down."

"That's it?" Shinji stared at the field.

"Correct."

'Damn I need to draw the right card...' "Look, it's Yui!" Shinji pointed behind Gendo and his head whipped around while Shinji pulled the card he needed out of his deck. (How do you think Yugi wins?) "Nevermind. I play the five pieces of Unit 01 and combine it with "Shinji, the Time Traveling Pilot"."

"What!" Gendo screamed, "No one's every pulled off the Berserked Soul Summoning!"

"Then feel proud, because I special summon "Perfectly Ultimate Berserk Unit 01"! It has infinite attack power, can attack the opponent directly, is not affected by magic and traps, and is allowed to attack whenever the hell it pleases! I attack "Gendo, the Ultimate Bastard" and send you to the Shadow Realm!"

"NOOOOOooooo!" Gendo tries in vane to escape the portal that consumes his soul.

Phew, that's it for now. Review if you want. Save an author, submit an omake.