A/N: And the winner of the ship is... I'll tell you after some background. In the beginning, Rei was the most popular, but then the Asuka fans attacked. So Rei fell out of first very quickly, but surprisingly didn't win second either. Misato was the most popular individual besides Asuka...now you notice why I said individual. That's because second place goes to a massive Harem (Maya, Ritsuko, Misato, Asuka, Hikari, and Rei...six is a good number, maybe Shinji will get to rest on Mondays).
This current storyline is Shinji/Harem…yes, it didn't win, but I want it, I have the power! Actually, I can work more with a semi-serious harem than a serious Shinji/Asuka relationship. If you're lucky, I'll make a S/A fic later. This is the reason it took so long for an update, but in the end, my happiness is more important :)
Bold: Sounds
'Italics': 'Thoughts/Yui/Kyoko?(maybe later...)'
"/Words/": "/German/" (I'm lazy, I don't want to translate)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Yes, I have made the arrangements with the committee about the problems," Gendo typed a command into his computer, "The cargo left Sarebo yesterday and is on the Pacific," Gendo hung up the phone a few seconds later and closed his eyes in thought.
'Let us see if the third child will withstand the second, hopefully he will submit to her personality,' Gendo shivered all of a sudden, he put it off as the air conditioning.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Over the ocean adjacent to Japan in a transport copter Shinji snorted, he was looking forward to meeting the 'Devil' again, both for good and bad reasons. Coincidently, on board of an aircraft carrier a redhead vixen shivered, trying to shake off the feeling something was going to happen as she leaned over the railing and spotted a helicopter headed their way.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kensuke was having a great time, 'ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod!'
Being Ikari's friend was the best thing to ever happen to him, even though he wasn't the most shy individual, Kensuke was more eccentric than he ever before with the introduction of an outgoing Shinji. "OMG! This R0X0R5! A MIG SSN Transport copter! I never thought I'd live to fly on one! I'm so happy..."
Kensuke grabbed his glasses and wiped his eyes dramatically. Shinji rolled his eyes and stared out the window, mentally preparing for their arrival. Misato remembered her first time on a copter, 'but he's a little too much,' and spoke up, "It's too stuffy being cooped up in Tokyo-3 everyday, and I'm pretty sure Mr. Aida would have killed Shinji-kun if I didn't take you guys out on this date."
"A date? With Misato-san! I bought this hat just for today too..." Touji had developed an unhealthy obsession with Misato...no, not like that. Misato would kill him if he became a stalker or anything of the sort. It was just too physically tasking on his mind and nose...
"Calm down Toji, don't faint on us again," Shinji said and Misato and Kensuke sniggered.
--------------------------------------------Flashback---------------------------------------------------
"Hey guys, do you want to go with Misato and me on a trip?" Shinji was walking next to them on the way back from school, "just finding out" about this unscheduled trip.
"Misato?" clang! Touji's vision had unfocused as he walked headfirst into the traffic pole, an arm sticking out on either side as he slid back to the ground.
-----------------------------------------End Flashback-------------------------------------------------
Now normally, this could have simply been attributed to inattention concerning what someone was addressing you with, but after 13 basketballs to the face after saying "Misato" during a game let Touji know he had a problem, "I DON'T FAINT, I JUST RUN INTO THINGS! err, say...where are we headed?"
Misato checked her watch and nudged Shinji away from the window and pointed, "Ah, we're here! We'll be cruising the pacific on the carrier over there." On the ocean below, 5 carriers and 4 battleships traveled towards Japan. The largest ship is an air carrier spanning the length of several American football fields.
"That's 'Over the Rainbow', the pride of the UN navy and it's huge!" Kensuke checked off an item off of his mental list of military vehicles and locations to see.
Shinji remembered something from the past, "Hey Misato or Kensuke I guess, it's pre-Second Impact ne?"
"Yep, I wonder why such a relic is still afloat?" Misato replied and Kensuke looked severely affronted and opened his mouth slightly.
Hissssss!
Everyone stared at Kensuke in shock, what was wrong with him? "Sorry, I shouldn't have opened my drink yet," Kensuke was holding a carbonated beverage that was leaking. "And that ship's just vintage..."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
On the bridge of Over the Rainbow, Captain Dumbass was thrilled at having a little field trip attend his ship, "What the hell is that woman thinking? Bringing a power socket for the brat's toy!" His appreciative commentary continued until he saw the transport from NERV land on the flight deck. He growled in gleeful anticipation when he saw the glint of glasses and a camera fly out of the copter and head for the on-deck vehicles. He remembered his cousin Boring-sensei had warned him about that kid...
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Wow! Great Great Great Great Great! This is too good to be true! This is truly a sight that will bring tears to anyone's eyes!" Kensuke had jumped from the helicopter and ran around taking pictures.
"Hey! Wait a sec' Kensuke!" Toji ran out and shoved his hat on his head.
Shinji realized something as he exited as well, 'Maybe Kensuke wants to pilot to avenge and protect military equipment...'
"Ahhhh...I haven't been on the ocean for years!" Misato was stretching as she noticed someone standing on the deck. At the same time, Shinji caught Toji's hat as it blew off his head. Toji thanked him quickly.
"Hello Misato. How are you?" Asuka, our favorite redhead asked as she was poised with her hands on her hips.
"Better than ever. You've grown taller, haven't you?" Misato replied, not noticing Shinji dragging his friends to a safe spot next to her and setting up camera equipment. It appears Shinji was really putting his genes to work this morning.
"Yeah! And not just taller—my figure has filled out too," Asuka handled her chest for emphasis, feeling smug of herself and all her accomplishments so far in life.
'Showtime...' Shinji smirked and felt a strong breeze pass him and the stooges stopped struggling as they looked up at this new girl. The wind lifted her sundress past her waist before she shoved it back into place, showing off her panties and embarrassing her. Asuka decided to storm the perverts at fault, they shouldn't have been staring.
"Let me introduce you—this is the pilot of Evangelion Unit 02, the second child, Soryu Asuka Langley," Misato said as Asuka walked up to the guys.
Slap! Slap! Whoosh... "Huh?" WhooshWhooshWhoosh "Stand still baka!" Asuka had successfully slapped the two lesser idiots and was swinging after the greater one, "Get over here!"
"What did you hit us for?" Kensuke and Toji shouted together, they were ignored as Misato looked thoughtfully at the camera set-up, a twinge of jealousy over Shinji's expense account was squashed when she looked back to the fight.
Shinji had thought of several ways of how he should meet Asuka, he finally decided to go with one of the more spiteful ways. Now imagine for me, Asuka in her glory, swinging (fists now) away at one Shinji Ikari, who simply proceeds to lean and walk backwards with the occasional side steps. Asuka's face is matching her hair by now and the stooges have started bets with the crew members in deck. Finally, Asuka throws a violent right hook at Shinji's head. Shinji ducks underneath and steps up so he's face-to-face with her, placing two fingers on her forehead he pushes the off balance girl onto her ass.
"Hello Asuka, do you need some help up?" Shinji held his hand out, which was promptly pulled back to safety, "Okay, well… it's obvious then that you want me to introduce everyone!" Shinji smily-eyed, pissing Asuka off more than before.
Shinji jogged over to the dispersing crowd of crew members and his friends, smiling all the way, "Now, this is Aida Kensuke, master of L337 and military otaku extraordinaire. This is Suzuhara Toji, athlete, big brother, and all around average Japanese male, so watch out. You know Misato, who could ever forget her? And finally, I am the third child, Ikari Shinji, appointed pilot of Unit 01, honorary cooking god (please don't ask), and a perfect person in every way." Shinji took a bow and stood behind Misato.
"Shinji-kun, what do you mean 'who could forget me?'" Misato was the last line of defense for Shinji now, she was ignoring Asuka.
"Who wants to forget you? And you're very special compared to most people, do you need anything Asuka?" Shinji stepped towards her again, "We're going to be working together for a while, so let's be friends!" Kensuke and Toji joined Asuka in looking at Shinji as if he should be submitted to electroshock therapy with complementary straight jacket.
Misato was about to crack before she saw Asuka about to kill her source of edible food, "Asuka, forget about killing Shinji-kun for now. Could you please show us to the bridge?"
"Sure," Slap! Asuka led the way, feeling unsatisfied.
'Ow, oh well. I guess it was a little…over the top…crap. Moral Dilemna!' Shinji realized, 'I can't get revenge for things she hasn't done, can I?' Shinji followed the group in further thought.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tojji's newly appointed job was to remain with Kensuke at all times and to subdue him if necessary. He was currently keeping Kensuke near the windows and away from the controls of this nuclear powered ship.
Misato was conversing with Captain Dumbass, who was delighted to hold discourse over authority at sea.
"Guarding a toy! What a grand assignment for the entire Pacific fleet!" Yep, he was thrilled.
"I know, you should feel honored. I don't suppose you'll sign the release forms now?" Misato smiled, looks like a little Shinji's rubbing off.
"NO! We have command over Unit 02 and its pilot until we unload at Shin-Yokosuka."
"Okay, but do remember that in an emergency we outrank you with NERV's backing. And do remember to set up the power cable . . .or else I could forget to restrain Kensuke from exploring the control rooms…"
Dumbass paled, the glasses kid was bouncing around the windows with his camera screaming in ecstasy. It was just too creepy. He shuddered a nod out before hearing the bridge door open again.
"You're gallant as always…" Misato's head whipped around in terror at the speaker's voice.
"Kaji-senpai!" Asuka squealed and looked to the unshaven man.
"Hi Katsuragi!" Kaji grinned.
"You! I er dffe a igo…" Misato broke down as Captain Dumbass spoke up, "I don't remember inviting you here Ryouji!" 'I don't remember inviting anyone here…'
"Sorry about that," Kaji apologized half-heartedly. Misato stayed a bit and talked more with the crew about the transport. The Captain and first officer discussed the saviors of the earth being kids as Kaji suggested they get something to eat.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"What are you doing here!" Misato stepped in front of the elevator, blocking it.
"I'm accompanying the second child. I'm also on a business trip," Kaji stepped around her and hit the down arrow.
"I knew this was too good to be true. Ritsuko should have done this," Misato had entered the elevator and was pressed against the back as Kensuke hit the button for the mess hall.
'What the..' "Don't touch me!" Asuka and Misato yelled at the guilty Kaji and barely offending Toji. "We can't help it…hey, where's Shinji?" ding the door opened and Asuka caused a wipeout on to the floor.
Shinji shook his head as he exited the elevator next to the others, "Hey guys…what? You didn't see the other door?"
The group glared at him, sans Kensuke who was already exploring.
"Just another reason not to follow Mr. Ryouji here…"
"Hey!..." Misato and Kaji argued in sync as they headed towards the buffet line. Kensuke was being reminded by Touji that it was time to eat and they had plenty of time, if he rushed he may miss something. Asuka was walking off behind Kaji until Shinji caught up.
"Hey, don't try to understand them. They used to date in college and it didn't end too well," Shinji walked along side her.
"Really? That's too bad…" 'Not. Kaji-kun's all mine!'
"You don't look too sad," she glared, "Err, what's Germany like?" 'Might as well be nice now, I can have my fun when she takes her ego trips. Hehe!'
"What do you mean? Be specific," Asuka was a little harsh.
"I've never been outside of Japan and I'm curious. I have my reasons so humor me, please?"
Asuka stared at him before relenting as they stood in line, she might as well. She began to tell him what the surroundings were like, how she had gone to college, how their stuff was great…not too much before they had gotten their food, sat down, and paused as the Kaji-senpai talked.
"So, are you seeing anyone?" Kaji was very smooth, like jagged glass and gravel.
"Why, that actually have something to do with you?"
"Ouch, that hurts you know," Kaji looked to the third child.
"I'm single, but I'm not into old guys Mr. Kaji," Shinji plainly stated and Misato giggled.
"Me neither, but are you living with Katsuragi?" Kaji, like Misato, had a certain tolerance to embarrassment.
"Yes, me and another guy are."
"Is she still wild in…huh? Other guy?..."
"Yea, he's been there, what 2 years Misato, oh well. He's letting me use one of his swords for Eva practice."
Kaji looked to Misato in confusion and she smiled, he was sure there was no one else living there, right?
"He really scared me when he joined me in the bath when I moved in. But PenPen's all right."
"PenPen? Bath?"
Touji decided to speak up, "Yea, her evil warm-watered penguin. Get back here Kensuke!" Kensuke had been twitching the whole time and bolted with Touji in chase.
Kaji chuckled to himself, 'The Ikari kid's okay, let's see…' "Tell me, is she still so wild in bed 'Shinji-kun'?"
"Wh Wh What are you implying?" Misato's innocent response would have looked better without the faint blush. Asuka was…ignoring the conversation once it started on Kaji's relationship, she didn't want to hear it.
"She doesn't have a bed, it's a futon…I am confused by your question," the writer's block pushed Shinji into 'Stereotypical Rei mode.'
'Maybe not,' "I mean, does she still like to rock the floors?"
"I am unaware of any preference of throwing rocks at the floor that she has."
"No," Kaji was later torn between frustrated and amused, Misato as well, finally: "Has she broken you in yet Shinji?"
Shinji smirked and returned to normal, "Not really, and are you a stalker? I know your name and that Misato is arming herself with a knife," clink she dropped it, "and doesn't like you."
"In my line of business, you're famous—the third child who piloted without any training." Asuka's eye's widened at Kaji's words.
"It was cake."
"I guess it's your talent. Well, see you later. Bye Misato!" and Kaji left.
"I can't go on…" Misato slumped in her chair, "Kensuke-kun, tell me about the stuff on this ship."
Kensuke perked at this inquiry and ran over to Misato, or tried. Kensuke was tackled by Shinji and Touji. Asuka looked on in amazement as the Otaku was subdued and Shinji pulled out a can of Misato's liquid medicine to make the sobbing women see life was still worth living.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kaji waited on the stairs for Asuka to show up, 'Ah, what I would do to be in Shinji's shoes…and closer to Misato's bed.' A drop of drool dropped over the railing and the impact shook him out of his thoughts. Asuka showed up at the same time.
"So what do you think of Ikari Shinji-kun?"
Asuka changed colors, and not the happy fluffy ones, "What a baka! He's still in junior high and didn't know a thing about Germany! Why do I have to work with him?" She wasn't going to say she was bested in a fight earlier in front of Kaji.
"Because, without training he piloted an Eva and beat an angel. Also, back then and currently his ratio is hovering around 100, even exceeding it…" Kaji prepared for the shouts.
"WHAT! That can't be true! It's #$#$ing impossible! That little motha #$#$#$ing #$#muncher…" plus more. Asuka stormed off while Kaji's eyes were still wide at her choice of words.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Meanwhile, the field trip had passed a muttering captain on way to the deck. Touji said, "That Captain Dumbass is a dumbass."
"He's too proud. He can't believe naval warfare is basically useless, no offence Kensuke."
"None taken Misato-san…can we go to the bridge again?"
"Nah," Shinji walked along, "let's see the fighters. What's up with Kaji, Misato?"
"That man's always been like that, the iiiiidiot!" Misato stumbled as the second child pushed her to the side.
"Third Child!" Asuka was a little PO'ed.
"Please, call me Shinji," he was ignored.
"Grrr, Come with me!" Shinji was dragged to a different ship…somehow the plothole must be explained. Let's say in her misplaced rage, Asuka threatened a crewmate into piloting a copter.
Underneath the giant tarp aboard the cruiser, Shinji was holding his bag protectively. The camera pans out so we can see the object of attraction, a giant red and yellow-orange Evangelion Unit 02 was strapped down. Asuka was tapping her foot impatiently, waiting for the third child's opinion.
"Well that's Unit 02. Awesome…it matches you." 'Large, scary, homicidal killing machine that supposedly better than her peers.'
"Thanks for the compliment, that makes sense after all. Unit 00 and 01 are prototypes. Test models in the engineering process. The fact it synchronized with you is proof of that. However, Unit 02 is not the same. This is a true Evangelion, for actual combat," Asuka placed her hand on the robot, smiling at the brief euphoria of superiority before the explosion came.
boom
'Smaller than I remember it,' Shinji thought before the floor suddenly threw him and Asuka off balance. "Ah, shit…might as well."
"What's going on?"Asuka righted herself up.
Shinji ran over to the tent opening and looked thru the slit, "Hey Asuka, you wanna kill something?" He pulled back a side of the opening to reveal Gaghiel, sixth angel, imitating 'Free Willy'…except not quite making it over the battle ship.
"Th-That's a real angel…yes! It's my turn now!" Asuka punched the air.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Damn it, what's going on!" Captain Dumbass exclaimed as the 6th angel destroyed the fleet. Alarms were blaring on the bridge, panic ensued, and people were running everywhere.
"Helloooo? Special Delivery, one I-told-you-so and if you're nice, some intel for battling the angel that just sat on Titus Andronicus," the captain ignored our purple haired friend.
"All ships, fire at will!" Millions of dollars of munitions were wasted in a couple seconds and did nothing.
Well, they did shake the ship, "You God damn idiot, take some advice before we all die Dumbass!"
Kaji, because cutting scenes for a single line is stupid, was watching the battle as he waited for his copter. Once Eva 02 was running, it meant the UN relinquished the 2nd child and he was free to leave and do other business, "Those attacks won't work."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Shinji was running after Asuka to the storage lockers as he opened his bag, 'ah, I couldn't feel myself for half an hour afterwards last time,' and looked at his plug suit. Think about it, Asuka grabbed two suits from her locker and ran towards the stairwell.
"Peep and DIE!" Asuka growled as twisted down another flight of stairs.
sigh 'I still have to decide whether or not to have sync training...' Shinji debated a bit, before another explosion reminded him that angels were killing people right now, and took out his suit.
Asuka had pressurized her suit with the button on the left wrist and noticed she still had the plug suit for the baka. '/Have to hurry/' Asuka thought in German. Rounding the stairwell back up, she stopped, facing the baka's back. Shinji's plug suit was pooled around his feet as he placed his second foot into the plug suit. Pulling the suit up to his shoulders, he placed his arms in and secured the opening for the neck. Pssssh. Asuka turned back down around the corner to try this again, shaking a mental picture out of her head..
'/Ok, I have another second or two if I remember right,' Shinji practiced thinking in German.
"Hey, let's go! …Why do you have a plugsuit?" Asuka rounded the stairwell again holding her spare one.
"I'm backup in case you were sick or died, and seeing you grab two suits I assumed you wanted me to wear that…not gonna happen," Shinji pointed at the red suit.
"Fine," Asuka climbed another staircase headed towards the entry plug, "I'm going to beat that thing with Unit 02 and you're coming too."
"Let me guess, "Act now, Permission later"?"
"Of course, after I win I'll get it," Asuka manually opened the plug, "Get in."
"Yay, backseat piloting!"
"Shut up third child, now you'll see how skillful my piloting is."
"Hm?" Shinji pulled a Kakashi.
"Just watch and don't disturb me!" Asuka sat down.
"/Okay, let's get this over with," Shinji said behind the seat when the LCL filled the chamber.
"/You speak German/"
"/No, I don't know a single word," Shinji sarcastically replied. It was time to search for Kyoko.
Grrrr "/Initiating the OS, mechanical servos online, nerv connections established, power up sequence complete. Evangelion Unit 02, start/"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
On the bridge of Over the Rainbow, Misato was dialing Shinji's cell phone to order Asuka to get to Othero and Unit 02. It wasn't necessary.
First Officer reported, "Message received from Othero: Evangelion Unit 02 is starting."
"Nice Asuka!" Misato looked to the brown tarp on the cruiser.
"No, halt the start sequence. Reset it! I won't relinquish command to you!" Captain Dumbass fumed into the console.
"I don't care! Asuka, launch!" Misato shouted, "Kensuke, Launch!"
"Noooo…" the techies, captain, and first officer were flung back from the controls as Kensuke examined the monitors, computers, guidance systems, and more.
"Thank you Misato! I can die happy now! What does this button do?" Kensuke said as he pressed it. It apparently displayed the condition of Unit 02, "Sweet…uh, Misato? Is B-equipment meant for underwater battles? Hey Shinji, can you hear me?"
"Oro?" Misato tilted her head.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Unit 02 stood up, tearing the tarp and donning it as a cape. Asuka realized something as she saw the ocean: Falling would be bad!
"Hey Shinji, can you hear me?" "Oro?"
"/Yes, put Misato on," Of course Kensuke only understood "yes" and "Misato", but Misato heard it as well.
"/Asuka, Shinji, take off as soon as possible. We're preparing the cord on Over the Rainbow," Misato took Kensuke's place, "/When did you learn German/"
"/I'll tell you later, we have 58 seconds of power left/"
"/I know! Misato, just make sure the socket is ready," Asuka said and communications ended, "/Here we go, jump/"
Eva Unit 02, jumped from ship to ship, killing dozens of people (sorry if you think everyone avoided the shrapnel caused by giant feet), the cloak fell off and, "/Eva Unit 02, landiiing/" Asuka warned the crew. As it landed, you could hear the sobs of Kensuke as his precious planes were destroyed.
Wheeeee! "/…what? It was fun…fine./" Shinji was being glared at by Asuka, "/The angel's coming at 9 o'clock./"
"/Transfer to external power complete," Asuka had the Eva hook up and look to the left. A giant wake of water was headed there way.
Shinji decided on focusing on synching and asking Kyoko for any help possible, maybe she'd hear him, "/Deploy an AT field/"
"/The prog knife will do./" "/You sure, look at it. You can do both./"
"…" Asuka deployed an AT field and took out the knife as Gaghiel jumped up on deck. Shinji tried mimicking Asuka's movements in his mind, thanking mom for the crash course the week before. Eva Unit 02 balanced on deck, readying her blade…the impact never came. The angel hit the AT wall, like a bird hitting a window, and bounced back into the water. During this time Kaji escaped.
"/Shit, how do you kill it/ Asuka asked Misato while admiring her AT field.
"/Um…insufficient data? Sorry," Misato looked at the Eva's data output, "/It appears the core is in its mouth, so go for that./"
Gaghiel came back around and jumped again, Eva Unit 02 turned off its AT field and slashed at contact. Unfortunately, a lift on the deck broke and threw both of them into the ocean.
"/Asuka, underwater combat is not possible with B-Equipment," Misato was out of ideas to combat an angel four times as large as the carrier.
Asuka tried moving the controls underwater, they were sluggish, but not unworkable, "/You never know until you try…Whoa!" The angel charged underwater and opened its mouth, showing off several rows of teeth and a red core on the roof. The Eva avoided it again as the cord ran out. Asuka was trying to swim or move position, but the weight and density was too great. "/What? It's not working! What can we do/"
"/Why should I know/"
"/Because you're the famous third child, aren't you/"
"/True/" Shinji watched the angel turn around and head back their way, "/How 'bout we let it eat us so we can destroy its core/"
"/That's so stupid idiot/" "/We could always use an AT field in its jaw so it couldn't bite down./" "/Okay, but if we die, I'm going to haunt you for all of the afterlife./"
Gaghiel opened its mouth again and tried to bite down, but the AT field just let the Eva slide into its mouth. Currently, on Over the Rainbow, Misato just got the fishing idea from Touji.
"/Kyoko? A little help? I guess not…/' "/Well this isn't that bad," Shinji laid back in the plug.
"/Are you insane? I'm going to kill you/" Asuka rounded the pilot seat with a fist raised.
"/Shut up," Shinji jumped to the butterfly controls as Misato told the two to stay there and sat down against the second child. "/Let's move the prog knife into the core overhead and get out of here./"
"/Get off of me jerk and don't operate my Unit 02 without my permission/" "/I'll get it later, have to act now./" Shinji smiled as he forced Asuka's hands to help his with the controls.
During this time, Misato had explained the plan in the background, "/Do you two understand the operation/"
"/Yeah, I know it./" Shinji flipped the prog switch on and communications off.
"/What plan/" Asuka was lost as she helped move the knife from the shoulder compartment to both hands of the Eva.
Inside of the sixth angel, Unit 02 was using an AT field to prevent Gaghiel from chewing and thrust the prog knife slowly into the core. There wasn't enough force to destroy the core.
"/Asuka, do you think if we cut the AT field, it will close its jaw and force the knife into the core/" "/Idiot, you're still touching my…Move/" Asuka inadvertently dropped the AT field, Unit 02 locked its arms and legs, and the sixth angel stabbed itself to death. At the same time, Over the Rainbow started to reel in Unit 02 out of Gaghiel's mouth and the two battle ships entered. Shinji flicked the communications back on, "/Could we deploy a full power AT field now/" Asuka looked at him and set it up.
"Fire!" Misato shouted over the radio. The two ships exploded in the carcass and blew Shinji and Asuka back up onto the deck. Cord destroyed and power used up for the AT field, the unit slumped down.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Now, an hour later, Ritsuko arrived by boat to help with the docking procedure. They had seen the battle relayed by video stream, "That was quite some show! The people in Germany's branch have declared Shinji a battle god. The angel fight was good too."
"I improvised the underwater combat…but apparently they killed it before the blast threw them to the surface," Misato was upset communications were cut, but it was only for 50 seconds and they followed the plan, except for killing the angel themselves.
"True, but we collected some precious data. Come on, let's see if the children are okay. Maybe Shinji can explain some things."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Good job Shinji!" Touji clapped as Shinji and Asuka were let out of the plug and walked towards the group.
"Yea, you did it again, you saved so much, yet so much was lost," Kensuke looked as if he had been restrained to remove him from the bridge.
Asuka was not too happy, it was her Eva and she did most of the work.
"I barely did anything guys, it's her Evangelion and she has synch priority," Ritsuko looked at Shinji as she and Misato arrived. "It means I can boost her AT field and raise the synch, but she's in control. When I mimicked her, everything moved faster. I think I'll enjoy working with you Asuka," Shinji smiled evilly.
Slap "Baka, you ruined my debut. How could you raise my synch anyways? And how the hell is your synch over a hundred?" Asuka finally remembered why she dragged Shinji away, "And where's Kaji-senpai?"
"/I'll tell you later," Shinji replied.
"That jerk escaped earlier and must already be in Tokyo-3. That…" 'bastard doesn't feel right for Kaji, I guess Shinji's prolific use of it has rubbed off' "weasel!" Misato growled.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kaji had just arrived at the commander's office with his briefcase. He walked over to the commander, slightly put off by the bastard position and began his presentation, "Well, that was an eventful journey! Was it caused by this I wonder?"
Kaji opened the case to reveal the embryonic form of the first angel, "Even incased in bakelite I'm sure it's alive. I guess this is the key to the Instrumental Project of Mankind?"
Ikari answered, "Yes, this is the first angel: Adam." 'The scenario is going according to plan.'
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The next school day, the stooges were waiting in homeroom for Boring-sensei to arrive. Hikari had left earlier to the main office for something.
"Really, great body, but she'll kill you if you annoy her in any way, including imaginary," Touji wasn't fond of the redhead after being slapped 4 times total.
"Don't worry Toji, we'll never see her again," Kensuke was looking at his film from the trip.
"Yea, but Shinji isn't so lucky. I pity you…what?" Touji said as Shinji smiled.
"I know something you don't know…" Shinji sat down as Hikari entered the room.
Boring-sensei came into the room wearing dark shades, 'That is the last time I'm letting cousin Dumbass take me out for drinks, you'd think he was trying to forget something.' "Hello class. We have a new student today. Miss Horaki, please let her know she can come in and introduce herself."
Touji's and Kensuke's faceplanted into their desks as Hikari let Asuka in, "Greetings. I am Soryu Asuka Langley."
-----------------------------------------OMAKES… Later--------------------------------------------
A/N: That took three weeks of intermittent writing, scrapping it once. I chose harem just because it was second and Shinji deserves it. Comments and Omake Ideas are appreciated, but I don't care anymore about ships.
------------------------------------------------Omakes--------------------------------------------------
Undercover Penguin inspired by someone-------------------------------------------
PenPen was huddled at the wall next to his fridge in Misato's living room; he had just hung up the phone from speaking with the mother of god herself.
Flashback.
"I trust you remember the plan. This is highest priority, but you can not kill, that is the kami's right..."
"Wark War Uwai!" PenPen was glad to be back in active service as he headed towards his collection.
End Flashback.
PenPen slipped "slice-y" the katana into place and applied his war paint; it was time to begin the hunt. With a "WARK!" our noble soldier left the household...only to rush back in and grab a small keg of Yebisu and leave again.
Currently Gendo Ikari was staring at his picture of Yui when a shiver ran down his back. His head whipped around, 'I must be lacking sufficient sleep...'
Suddenly, PenPen burst from the shadow only to be shot. Gendo walked smugly to the dying penguin, "Whoever sent you should have sent some one better...wha?" PenPen's body "poofed" as the bottom drawer of the desk shot open and our hero sliced Gendo's right hand, including Adam, off.
While Gendo was writhing in pain like a little wuss, PenPen knocked him out with the hilt of his blade. Then, carefully, PenPen picked up the squirming hand and screwed open the small keg of Yebisu. "Psssshhhhh!" The angel dissolved and PenPen was off! The mission was complete as he entered Misato's apartment at 3am and hung up his equipment.
The phone rang and PenPen answered, "Good job PenSquared, now..."
Later that morning, Shinji was throwing away the garbage when he noticed something. His father was bound and gagged inside the dumpster with a tag and a taser. "A gift to my
son for all the years I couldn't help you, mom."
PenPen relished the feeling when the kami ran into the apartment 2 hours later, he smelt like burnt hair, but the grin on his face couldn't be any wider. The warm-watered penguin turned around and headed to his new fridge that connected with the apartment nextdoor, his employer came thru with her promise of a penguin bachelor pad and developing him some female penguin "friends".
--------------------------Slapping scenes-------------------------------------
"Hentai!" Slap Slap Whoosh "Huh?" Whoosh whoosh whoosh. "Stand still, you looked!"
Shinji ducked out of the way, "Yea, who cares? You don't have anything on Misato here."
"Hentai," Asuka screamed. "And proud of it!" Shinji slapped her ass when she missed again.
-------------------------
Whoosh! "Hey Asuka, did you know you mom's in Unit 02?" Shinji asked.
Asuka stopped, "What?"
"Yep, and that Kaji's banging Misato, you don't have a chance."
"I do too!"
"And that you can never beat my record with the amount of angels left!" Asuka was turning redder.
"The college you went to has revoked your diploma, something about threatening manhoods"
"I've synched at over 200, you're only at 70!"
"I tricked the commander to giving me 300,000 yen! I'm rich!"
"The ship with your luggage just exploded!"
"And you have a heart condition, don't get angry or frustrated," Asuka had stopped breathing a while ago and had died, but rigor mortis and the passing breeze gave the illusion she was still alive.
--------------------------------
Slap! Slap! Slorp! "Ew!"
Shinji was holding a paint brush and stepped back, her hand was covered in the liquid, "What is this stuff you $#$hole?"
Asuka looked for someplace to wipe her hands off, but decided to slap that idiot first.
"Shit!" Slap OW! "Damnit!" "What did you do baka?"
Asuka stood next to Shinji, hand superglued to his face. She pulled back and he screamed at Misato to grab the solvent out of his bag.
-----------------------------------Kaji sequences-----------------------------------
"Is she still so wild in bed, Shinji-kun?"
The stooges stopped what they were doing and started bowing.
"We heard about you, we thought it was legend…all hail the thirty second man!"
------------
"So I hear you're living with Misato?"
Shinji put his arm around her, "Hell yea! It's #$#$ing Awesome!"
Misato giggled like a school girl, "He's my god! There isn't a thing he can't do!"
------------
"So I hear you're living with Misato?"
"It's shagedelic baby! She completely exhausts me of my mojo every bleeding night!" Shinji did a crappy Austin Powers impression…unfortunately it turned Misato on and she tackled him to the floor.
Kaji made a note for later.
---------
"Is she still so wild in bed Shinji-kun?"
"Yea, I walked in one night to find her moaning and thrashing about, mumbling something about: "Damn Kaji gets off and falls asleep every time. Thank God I have you vibroman, from Ikari/Zeppling incorporated!" and she starts buzzing her lips.
Kaji finally understood why all those mosquitoes buzzed in his ears after sex.
-----------------------Another Version of the Attack-----------------------
Shinji had Asuka in his lap and they were in Unit 02. Technicolor scenes passed by as the power turned on. Shinji focused on trying not to focus on Asuka's ass on his crotch.
'Thank God mom isn't here…I wonder if Kyoko is here?'
"Baka, think in German!"
"Baka, language on affects the HUD. Dragging me in here just screwed your sync," Shinji retaliated, "Now shut up and think about your mom!"
"What! You bastard," Asuka turned around and straddled Shinji; With a fist drawn back.
'Mrs. Sorhyu, could you please rape Asuka's mind?' Shinji heard a faint response, 'Sure.'
Asuka clenched her head and Shinji turned her around so she was at the controls again.
"See, my mom is in my Eva and your mom is in yours, now I really like sitting like this, but get a move on!"
Asuka was still in shock and talking to Kyoko, 'mom? Mom!'
'Yes? Do you need something leichben?'
'You're alive!'
'I know I am. We have a lot to talk about.'
'Okay, go ahead.'
Shinji, during this entire time, was shaking Asuka violently to un-shock her. He wanted to choke her, but the LCL oxygenated her blood directly. Wait, how did he talk in this liquid?
Ignoring the plot hole for now, he did something he knew he would regret.
Grope! Pinch! Twist!
"Ow, HENTAI!" Shinji flinched and hid behind the chair now, "What the #$#$ing hell was that for third child!"
"Focus on the mission! We have a minute to get to the cord!"
"Aieiii!" Asuka focused on getting to the cable and plugged it in.
In the meantime, Kyoko was talking to Shinji:
'So you're Yui's boy. You're going to be very talented one day. You did that with no practice and Asuka can't stop thinking about it.'
'I'm so dead…'
'Acutally, she's confused. She's gone on a couple of friendly dates, but the college restricted her sexual knowledge to nil. I give you my permission to unite the Schools of Erotica. I'll teach Asuka the Soryu branch and Yui will proceed with the Ikari branch. Together, you shall revolutionize the adult world!'
Shinji was so screwed. In the cage of Unit 01, Yui was preparing a virtual shogi board and virtual sake for her friend's arrival.
-----------------------------For you pissed S/A fans------------------------------------------
What if Asuka had her memories as well and both loved each other earnestly?
Shinji frowned, he missed the old Asuka so much and he was finally strong enough to tell her how he felt…but only he remembered third impact. This Asuka would not be his. The others had noticed his mood on the transport over, but he said he was just depressed today for some reason.
A short time later, Shinji stepped off of the copter and saw her. She didn't have the bandages, scars, or sunken eyes.
Asuka was having a similar time, she had a tough time being strong and bossy when she returned to the beginning. Her mother said that Shinji would not have remembered, Unit 01 was orbiting the planet, dead to the world in Third impact.
"Hello Misato," Asuka reinforced her mask several times over.
"Well haven't you grown tall?"
"Yes, I've grown up a lot," Asuka didn't feel the need to feel herself up this time. She didn't want to intimidate Shinji too much.
However, Shinji's eyes widened at the alternation, 'maybe…' "Hey! Um…" Asuka stared, Shinji wasn't outgoing… "I don't suppose you remember sync training?"
Asuka's eyes lit up, "Baka, I bet PenPen is bowing down to you already." They both smiled and blushed, 'Did she/he just blush?'
Shinji, the crap that he has been through and the radical changes…
Asuka, her depression and superiority disorder…
Both thought $#$# it! Who cares!"
They ran to each other, Asuka deciding to jump him knocked him on his back while hugging her head to his chest. Then, she sobbed as he stroked her hair, a muffled admittance of her love into his chest. Shinji took a hand a lifted her chin up, "I love you too," and captured her lips in a sweet kiss…that progressed from innocent to open mouth in a matter of minutes.
All the time Kaji had come out to the deck and stood next to Misato, both of them saying: "Damn they move fast!" The Stooges were confused, but cheered their friend on, she seemed like a nice girl…