A/N: Unsprisingly, most reviews revolve around my update timing. So I hope you're happy with the size of this at least. Hm, this episode originally revolves around NERV's staff more than the children getting to NERV. (This is the blackout episode) Also, my timeline is crap now, so be prepared for generic time skips. Whatever, most of you don't read this.
'Italics' : 'Thoughts/Yui/Kyoko'
Bold : Sounds
Where to start, where to start…hm, major case of writer's block.
Life was going well for Shinji. Heck, even the first time around at this time life was going well. You know, besides all of that Hedgehog's dilemma, trying to gain acceptance of his bastard father, weird slave relationship to Asuka, weird pseudo-friendship with Rei, and those general extremely introverted problems. Oops, forgot about those angels. Damn, they're just so easy to forget.
Well, it had been an incredible four weeks since the last angel attack. Not incredible in the sense of excitement, just that there's been no attacks for that period of time. In fact, all of Tokyo-3 was experiencing a period of heightened morale because there last attack in the city hadn't occurred in over two and a half months. (I'm saying the 7th was intercepted outside and defeated quickly, so everyone's happy!)
New businesses came in, trying to bank on the generous government loans and funds. A large population moved here, ignore the fact that they felt if for some reason the all important Tokyo-3 was taken, that the world would be destroyed. And if the world was gonna die, they might as well have the best damn seats in the house.
Things had settled down into a rhythm of sync tests, school, and home life for the three children; things at NERV had been great with new research and the completion of Unit 00's upgrade; and even the commander of NERV was having a nice time…just kidding. His life was a complete self-imposed hell. He had been a scum of a person, and now the universe was "crescendo"ing its revenge until the inevitable complete screwing over of his life and future. (Omake's on this later)
--------------------------------------Rei-centric portion of introduction------------------------------
Rei had enjoyed the hot springs and did not appreciate having to return to Tokyo-3 and thus school. Being friends with Hikari and Asuka meant you didn't have to talk much, but the majority of her peers didn't want to talk to her at all. The reasons were most of the girls were members of Shinji's fanclub (and saw her as the enemy), they remember her "rude" behavior, and the guys who hit on Asuka feared for their lives and spread that fear to their companions.
Still, life was looking up for Rei. She would wake up, take the early shower, and get dressed while not waking Asuka up. PenPen loved the mornings because Rei would read a little of the paper and pet him at the same time. After that, she would put out the garbage if it was her day to and return inside to find Shinji making breakfast with a groggy smile and wet hair.
One morning, Misato actually woke up from her drunken coma earlier to take Rei to the Re-activation of Unit 00.
------------------------------------------------Flash Back----------------------------------------------
Rei's eyes bugged out as she saw a slightly wet Misato walk out of the bathroom without a towel. 'Misato is awake? What is today?'
Rei glanced out the window with a slightly confused expression (maybe she thought the world was ending, but we will never know), before she realized it was the day to re-activate Unit 00. She visibly relaxed and tensed (somehow) and returned to her morning routine.
"Rei, I guess we'll get yawn breakfast out today, Ritsuko and Maya should be runyawnning the last preps soon," Misato informed one of her dependents. 'I guess Shinji-kun can have a little break this morning.'
"Actually, Shinji told me that he had prepared something for us in the refrigerator yesterday," Rei walked over to the said appliance.
Misato was glad, no one's food was better than Kami-sama's. She caught the beer Rei tossed to her and slammed it down. "Good stuff," Misato said quietly. A lecture from Asuka and Shinji about yelling on the days they had wanted to sleep in had kicked the habit from Misato…in the mornings.
Rei put the food in to the microwave, amazed as always. "I do not comprehend how Shinji can make food that heats up without losing its appearance or flavor. Or why my meal is smaller than normal."
"The world will never know the will of the kami," Misato sagely said as she pulled out another beer and heated up some water for tea for Rei. Today the tea bags (Misato didn't use tea leaves like Shinji) had a note on them: "Misato, tell Rei there's a couple of pints of strawberry ice cream in the freezer and good luck with Unit 00."
Rei had finished heating up the meal when Misato held up the sticky note, "Shinji says good luck with Unit 00 and to check the freezer after your meal."
Misato watched on, extremely amused as the cute albino shoveled her food in an uncharacteristic fashion. Then, jumping from her seat and grabbing a spoon, she dashed towards the freezer and ripped the door off…er, just open.
Rei was still very stoic in some ways, but she had discovered the orgasmic sugar rush that was the anticipation of and eating of ice cream. 'Thank you Kami-sama!' Rei thought with a bright smile and smiley eyes as she ripped the lid off of her favorite strawberry ice cream and dug in.
"Rei, that can't be healthy," Misato sighed as she took a drink of Yebisu, "Come on, let's go." Grrrrrrr 'Did she just growl at me?' "You can eat on the rest on the way, I'm sure you won't spill anything."
Rei had the manners to look abashed before getting up and walking towards the door, eating at a slower pace and wishing she had gloves on.
----------------------------------------------End flashback and Misato-portion of intro-----------------------------------------
Misato had immensely enjoyed the hot springs, but did not appreciate having to return to Tokyo-3 and thus NERV. Sure, the pay was good and she had good friends in Ritsuko and now Maya (as she was often found by Ritsuko, Shinji, and the pilots), but the work was hard and it had a high stress environment (the commander, angels, and paperwork). Things were much harder than when they were waiting for the angels to arrive, but that was to be expected.
Ironically, the angels attacking were a mixed blessing. She didn't dare think what it would be like without Shinji: he was a great guy, he could be near indestructible in battle (making Misato's job easier), and he was a god in the kitchen! Her apartment was lively with three teens and it was confusing to who was really in charge.
Most of the time Shinji stayed on the sidelines with Rei and PenPen, while Misato and Asuka fought for superiority over TV, movies, and what they should ask Shinji to make; but Shinji held absolute power if he called in his "let Misato cook" card or blackmail pictures (Asuka in the fat, sumo plug suit is one example). It kept a unique sense of balance to everyone's lives because Shinji only acted when things couldn't be shrugged off, and the third child seem to be able to shrug almost everything off if given a moment (an example of unshruggable would be when Asuka called Rei wonderdoll in a previous chapter).
Anyways, with her skill in Janken, Misato had a comfy home with minimal upkeep and a nice stipend from NERV for being the children's guardian. It pained her that she had to be a little more neat and modest than when she was just with Shinji, but she'd be able adjust. It didn't hurt that she acted more like a teenager than a grown up most of the time, but she'd always have a little advice for the teens, not necessarily good advice, but still…
------------------------------A flashback continuation, confusing eh?-----------------------------
Misato sat down in her blue Renault and looked over at the passenger seat at Rei. The blue haired babe, as Misato sometimes dubbed her now, was finishing up the last of her strawberry ice cream on the day of her re-activation test. "So Rei, are you excited?"
Rei had finished the solid parts and was now trying to lick and spoon the sugary liquid out of the cardboard container. "Mphf Mmm"
"Could you say that again?" Misato smirked as she floored it and hit the streets. The residents around her had long since rigged the garage to warn them when the Katsuragi woman left the building. Slurping sounds continued from beside her until a particularly sharp left turn and Rei's ice cream tore out of her hands and out the window.
"NO!" Rei screamed, the area around her mouth covered in pink.
"Hold on harder next time," Misato said and flinched as she saw the expression on Rei's face. 'It's not my fault…sigh' "There's a couple of napkins in the glove compartment. Sorry about that Rei."
Rei knew she should have held on, but her hands were cold and wet from the condensation. "It is alright Misato. I was almost finished," She longed for that last spoonful of sugar.
"Maybe you can convince Shinji-kun to let you have some more later…" Misato trailed off in a sing song voice and Rei brightened before staring off into space.
A/N: Sorry, the upcoming part sucks. If you think it's good…um, I meant to do that!
Rei had remembered something that she had wanted to ask Misato alone, "Misato, I am troubled with something."
"Yes?" Misato entered a semi-concerned mode.
"It's about when I went scuba diving with Shinji and Asuka at NERV. I…liked how Shinji looked without the majority of his clothes…to the point of no sense for me."
Misato swerved around another pedestrian, 'So Rei has the hots for Shinji, she has good taste, but what does she want?'
"I know from overhearing Shinji's admirers that I was… "turned on", but I do not wish to be like them. What do you think I should do? I can't control this feeling like others."
'Hm, she has it bad.' "Well there's this thing you could do called masturbation…" 'I'll tell her about that later, I hope the readers realize I'm open about these things and that's my personality in this story,' "but that's just temporary. The gist of your feeling if I'm right is more along the lines of a crush and lust. You like Shinji more than a friend, coworker, classmate, and etc. Basically, you may want to start hugging him and physical contact in general, become his girlfriend, get to know him better, kiss him, and hopefully you know the rest."
Rei had started to blush sometimes, but looked confused at the rest until she realized the sexual education and marriage class they held last year. She turned a whole new shade of red.
"Thank God I don't have to explain that while driving down the road without my props," Misato flew threw a red light, "Just continue talking to Shinji and be his friend. You can always take the initiative if you want to and ask him out. It looks like you're gonna have some competition, but Shinji doesn't seem to be in a rush to hook up with anyone." 'Maybe I'll break him in later, wait…gah! Bad Misato! You're almost twice is age and it would ruin the beautiful tease him until he explodes relationship. But still…'
"Thank you," Rei muttered. The rest of the trip was occupied by Misato singing loudly to the radio while the first child couldn't believe she needed help to get a "just do what you've been doing and ask him out if you want to" piece of advice…but what was masturbation?
A/N: Oh PenPen that sucked, at least it's over.
----------------------------------Normal-mode, but still flashback----------------------------------
Ritsuko and Maya were in the command box of Unit 00's repair cage and they looked bad. They had pulled an all-nighter after discovering an error in circuit GTT11001 and re-tuning the calibrations afterwards, but hopefully it would be worth it. After this, the two had discussed about lining the evas' melee weapons with carbon-fiber LCL infused metals to allow them to break thru AT fields better to some extent. But right now, they needed to monitor the equipment for the re-activation.
Gendo sat back from the glass panel and oversaw the operation, "Activate."
Ritsuko talked to two engineers, "Connect the main power supply and all circuits together."
The lights in the test chamber turned on and the eva's single eye started to flicker on.
"Voltage has reached critical point," Maya observed the bar pass the border line.
"Start the second phase and then system phase II," Ritsuko commanded.
"Pulses transmitted, all circuits operational, initial contact shows no problems," Maya reported.
"Nerve links and centers are operational," Shigeru read the display off.
"Borderline?" Ritsuko looked over Maya's shoulder at the monitor and then back to the window.
"1.0 till… .4, .3, .2, point Abnormalities detected! Borderline cleared," Maya frantically tried to isolate the problem. The still orange (yep, I didn't want the blue) behemoth stayed still. The noticeable differences were shoulder wings and larger pieces of armor, but internally there were several upgrades to the servos and the neural pathways.
"Rei!" the commander pushed down the com and looked in the display to see the pilot, who had a twinge of red on her cheeks.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rei had been sitting in the entry plug like normal, her thoughts drifting from life, the scenario, school, and back to Shinji every so often. She vaguely noticed the kaleidoscope of colors begin as she approached the borderline, and was not even trying to control her bio-machine. You see, Rei always had to fight the soul of the first prototype for control. Sure, she used Shinji's techniques to feel the eva, but she could control it and didn't want to know what the unit truly wanted to due. It was a lack of understanding and the unit's unwillingness to help her that kept her sync ratio lower than her comrades. (phew, what a load of BS! ;)
So without trying to remain in control, due to her daydreaming, the soul of Unit 00 tried to take over. Rei thought this thought right as the anomaly occurred, 'but what is masturbation and why would it help me with Shinji?'
The soul, for a lack of better terms, facefaulted and hiccupped at the same time, 'This can't be that little doll of Ikari's…but it feels like her.'
Meanwhile, the crew searched for what went wrong, but couldn't find anything. Ritsuko spoke up, "Rei, are you alright?"
"Yes, is there something wrong?" Rei snapped out of her thoughts and entered her professional persona.
The crew still scrambled around, "There was abnormality, are you sure you're okay?"
"Repeat the procedure and make sure to monitor the pilot's vitals," Gendo directed at Ritsuko, clearly meaning to those that knew to check if Rei had been contaminated.
The soul of Unit 00, whose name has already been revealed earlier, but I won't mention it until it introduces itself, took the chance to reverse feed back into the MAGI. Previously, it was too subjugated and enraged to do this before. It virtually smacked itself for being so brash. The information it would find would astound it. (I hate being gender neutral)
---------------------------Imagine it as people sitting at kick ass computers----------------------
Yui was surfing the MAGI when she detected another user gliding thru the back doors. It had taken her a few minutes to set up her own connection, but damn this person was fast. Suddenly, she realized the person knew the access codes, but Ritsuko didn't know those yet. Didn't Rei have an activation today? Why wasn't she suppressing the soul now?
'Might as well, Rei still has some loyalty to the bastard.' And with that she used all the processing power of Unit 01 to force a tracer and IM connection to establish. 'I'm not taking any chances of her hacking around me,'
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The soul of Unit 00 was about to upload security footage when the screen froze, 'WTF?' The soul was about to hack the assaulter when:
"You have commenced an IM session with: "GENDOSHALLDIE…PAINFULLY!" what shall your screen name be?"
'Hm, who the hell could have detected me? Nice screen name though…' the soul thought as the other person began to type.
GENDOSHALLDIE…PAINFULLY: "Hello, the bastard let Kyoko be absorbed into an eva and abandoned my son. He plans to instigate third impact. My name is Yui Ikari, I'm contacting you from Eva Unit 01, help me kill the bastard."
L337Empresswhoagrees has entered : "I will be glad to help you, but I thought you were dead."
G : "And you're alive? You have sixth dibs by the way. It goes Shinji (my son, so manly), me, Asuka (the pilot of Unit-02), Kyoko (mother of Asuka and soul of Unit-02), Rei (we've convinced her to abandon third impact), and then you. I'm sure there's thousands of others, but that just means we'll need to take their share. But if you're nice, I'll let you watch mine."
The soul had figured out the chronological order (my version Shinji abandoned, Yui doesn't like, then Kyoko, Asuka, Rei is created, then the soul of Unit-00. My story).
L : "Alright, I guess I haven't properly introduced myself. My name is Naoko Akagi (my story) and what are we going to do?"
That was the beginning of a great friendship, seeing as the two had barely met before. They began to converse and share information as fast as the MAGI could process it. The two former bastard lovers agreed that Rei would be informed by Naoko about some of the finer points of her precious commander at a later date, contacted now, and Naoko realized the revenge would be better if she could get Rei to betray him. Gendo shivered elsewhere, what was with that lately?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Back at the repair cage, Ritsuko had the circuits shut down and unknowingly cut her mother's connection to the MAGI after only 66 seconds of freedom. (Yep, fast computers and eva souls)
A few moments later Maya reported, "Point one, borderline cleared. Nope, I couldn't find a thing. Check the nerve centers again."
Gendo walked over to Ritsuko, "Continue with the procedures and let her try sync more. If you believe you have finished, call my office." And he left with Fuyutsuki following.
"Rei, it looks like you're going to be here a while," Ritsuko informed the blue haired girl, who kept her face while holding back a groan.
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An hour and a half later, Rei had finally created a comatose state where she stared ahead and just waited. She had wondered why she felt no conflict with the eva and was sorely tempted to make contact with it. For goodness sake, this was the 33rd time activating and they were just going to start the long syncing process, which was now going to be followed by a more activations, syncing, and then all of the upgrades.
She felt out to the eva and was stunned, not physically or visibly of course. There was a sense of understanding and no…assurance? Rei did not know what they had done to the eva, but it was an improvement.
Another hour later and she decided to chance it, "Hello. Is there anyone there?"
"Finally! Is there a reason you took so long to contact me?" Naoko responded.
"You have fought for control of my body and have tried to kill me and the commander"
"I guess that would do it, don't worry about that anymore, it was a misunderstanding. You will always have primary control of the eva. My name is Naoko Akagi and I hope I can help you," Naoko responded respectfully, the former hate being crushed by the resulting mental highs from talking with Yui and Kyoko. She could now access the MAGI without being activated.
"Rei, what ever you're doing keep it up, you're syncing at 84.5 percent," Maya cheered at something being different for once in the last three hours.
"Thank you. But you created the MAGI, why are you in Unit 00?"
"GRRR…sigh, sorry. The commander relayed a message through your first body; yes, I know all about you from the MAGI. He insulted me for the last time, I killed you, chased after him, got knocked out, placed in an entry plug, and here I am now. I believe he made my shell kill itself."
"Then why are you helping me now, revenge?" Rei did not appreciate being used for revenge on a man who did take some care of her. He warranted her respect at work, but she did not know how to break it to him that she didn't think he should continue with the scenario. She had learned there was more than one option for life.
"No, I am helping out Kyoko, Yui, Asuka, Shinji, You and humanity. Yui convinced me that you did not feel the commander's future would suit you now. Besides, I heard this and it stopped me from fighting you: "but what is masturbation and why would it help me with Shinji?"
Rei reddened in her seat, she was beginning to understand why Shinji would blush in his eva, "You heard that?"
"Hahahahaha! I knew it! You really are diverging from the scenario with Shinji. Your surface thoughts are quite interesting, but you're very naïve. Tell me about your self and I'll tell you about me, we have the time. Oh, and since Misato apparently would tease you over this. Masturbation is…"
Rei's eyes bugged out as "pleasure", "self", and other relative vocabulary were communicated to her. Maya asked her about it and Rei replied (with help from Naoko) that she'd finally figured out something Misato had told her.
---------------------------------------------End of flashback and Asuka's Intro----------------------------------------------
Asuka had enjoyed the hot springs and didn't appreciate having to go back to Tokyo-3 and thus school. It was just too boring and she spent the entire time on the internet or talking to Hikari and Rei during lunch and breaks. She was happier with her grades, much happier since she aced most of the work now. Asuka idly wondered what else momma could help her learn. Maybe she'd ask later.
Life was much easier than it was in Germany, sure the doors didn't have locks and she had to share a room, but it wasn't like the NERV branch's dormitories and her house where she had to be on a precise schedule in the early morning and eat cafeteria slop (and step-mother's cooking). She couldn't say she missed the woman that caught her father on the rebound, although she was more thankful after hearing Shinji's life. At least she had a father who wasn't a complete world destroying bastard, just neglectful with her away at school most of the time.
Here in Tokyo-3, she could sleep in until (plot hole: I'm making school start at 8:15 now…lucky bastards) 7:15, wake up to have the shower open up as Shinji got changed, and then got out of the shower to the aroma of breakfast. She still couldn't believe Shinji's skills in the kitchen; but she wasn't complaining since she got some awesome western breakfasts. She felt sorry that Rei couldn't partake in the carnivorous side of the five star meals.
Hm, Rei was interesting. After weeks of living with her, she finally began to loosen up the annoying robotic speech patterns. Asuka had talked to Misato about it and all she had to say was Rei had been worse and was solely "raised" by the commander. It wouldn't surprise her if the evil Ikari had brainwashed her. Shinji and Yui relayed through mama had explained what the commander was striving for (basically everyone to be meshed together) and she wanted to be independent, stronger, and better than the majority. She would just show the first child how she should live by leading a good example.
Hm, I don't really have much for Asuka this time, she had a good chapter last time, so it's okay…what? It's not? Fine.
One of the more interesting parts of the weeks was discussing the school trip with Hikari and Rei.
---------------------------------------------Flashback--------------------------------------------------
The three children were walking to school like normal, talking about Misato's and PenPen's antics, when they ran into the class rep. Asuka departed from Shinji with Rei and ran up to Hikari, who had three gift bags with her and a slight case of sunburn.
"Hi, I was hoping to catch the three of you before I got to school," Hikari smiled as the red and blue blur stopped in front of her.
"Hikari, why do you have several gift bags with you?" Rei asked curious and Asuka rolled her eyes as Hikari answered.
"They're souvenirs Rei, some people choose to give gifts to their friends from places they visit. So, did anything interesting happen here?"
"Yeah, I went diving in a volcano to kill an angel!" Asuka started to describe the experience when Shinji showed up besides Hikari (now they're walking to school side by side, but the stooges are wasted from the trip and skipped out meeting Shinji at Misato's in favor of the nice hard pillows…I mean, desks at school).
Shinji leaned over and whispered conspiratorially, "I have pictures of before and during the mission if you want blackmail material."
Hikari raised her eyebrows at this, unfortunately Asuka's hearing was better than he remembered as well, "NO, YOU BAKA! RUN!" Asuka raised a fist and Shinji left in a hurry. Unknowingly to Asuka, he slipped a picture into the class rep's school bag of the inflated plug suit stuck between the lockers.
"Sigh, ignore that. The important part is afterwards we went to a hot springs inn!"
"Oooh, Okinawa only had a bath house. But the coral reefs were incredible…" Hikari started on a twenty minute rant about how wonderful the trip was. Asuka listened patiently and ooh and ah'ed. Rei just listened quietly and tried to imagine it.
Finally, the three girls got to the classroom. Hikari had handed out the gifts to Asuka and Rei already. She had gotten Asuka a large red piece of coral (for some reason they thrived now) and a yellow tennis visor. Rei had gotten a smaller blue piece of coral and an underwater poster of the reef.
"Hey Asuka," Hikari glanced to the side at a group of girls huddling in the far corner, "could you give Shinji his gift while I set everything up for Boring-sensei?"
"Sure," Asuka walked over to the stooges and tossed Shinji his bag, "here, Hikari gives her regards."
Shinji barely caught it, "Hey! What if something broke?"
"Well, it didn't," Asuka was still a little upset over Shinji's supposed saving her from the volcano angel and the revealing of the blackmail photos. Remember, this is flashback.
"Fine, might as well see what I got," Shinji shrugged, it wasn't like he expected Asuka to like those photos. "Neat," Shinji said as he pulled out an orange piece of coral and a poster of the beach. 'Are those nude sunbathers in the background? Nah, why would Hikari buy that?'
Meanwhile, the group of girls in the corner glared at Asuka.
Later at lunch, Asuka was sitting down and talking with Hikari and Rei about when they could go meet and look at the photos of the trip. The table darkened as they were surrounded by a familiar sight: Shinji's fanclub.
The lead girl, let's call her Ino (I'm a horrible person), started to speak, "Guess what we found out during this trip when we went to send post cards,"
"I don't know, that you should always use e-mail?" Asuka replied, she hated the girls with a passion because they were miniature versions of the pedophiles she avoided at college. Maybe it was because Shinji was her friend as well…
"No, how come you didn't tell us that you lived with Shinji-sama?" Sakura, the vice-president, demanded.
Asuka got an evil idea, "I did tell you…wait, you mean Ino didn't spread the word?"
The girls turned on the panicked girl, who adamantly denied the accusation. Rei had something to say, "I don't remember you telling Ino we lived with Shinji…oh…shoot."
Rei didn't realize what Asuka was doing until it was too late and felt her first need to swear as the bloodlust arose from the surrounding mob.
"You live with him too?" Ino and Sakura shouted together. This wasn't looking good as a girl was outraged enough to crush her bento.
"Nice going Rei. Might as well really piss them off by saying that he cooks all our meals and we went scuba diving at NERV last week with him. Maybe we should also show them the pictures Misato took during the sync training? Or that one PenPen took?" Asuka asked sarcastically.
Rei blushed slightly and Hikari giggled, "Asuka, those pictures aren't so bad. It was training for NERV, although I don't know about the PenPen picture. Is there something you need to tell me? In detail?"
The fangirls took a step forward as the bell rang for the next class. They reluctantly dissipated and went to PE.
Asuka was smiling as she enjoyed annoying the girls, but only if she could hurt them would she be truly happy.
Minutes later, Asuka grinned evilly as the PE teacher said they would be introducing a trial run of wrestling for the next week. The end result of this experiment was 17 dislocated joints inflicted upon the others by Asuka and the experiment being prematurely cancelled after two days. They couldn't pin anything on her since all she did was grab a limb and fall down awkwardly…too bad they didn't know it took most of her skill to do that.
The teacher also was inclined to look the other direction as she herself was hoping this would happen. Most of the time they didn't participate and talked about their crush. Now all she had to do was mention wrestling when they tried to petition for co-ed sports or only activities that were next to "Shinji-sama's" class or when they started to slack off.
---------------------------End Flashbacks, Onto the angel attack day, YAY--------------------
Shinji woke up to his alarm clock and stumbled out of bed to check his secret stash. 'That sounds bad, I need to think of a different name when I update it after the attack.'
In his stash, he pulled out a calendar and clipboard, 'Let's see…yep, today is the power outage and angel attack. Hm, I forgot to buy glowsticks…guess I have to stick with flashlights.' Shinji had decided earlier to not wait at Nerv because it was more likely he'd get trapped behind a hydraulic door or in an elevator. He didn't know exactly when the power was cut last time and he didn't want to wait in the cage with the commander and help manually deploy the eva's. He would just walk to the sync test with Asuka and Rei like last time.
The third child locked up and hid his secret stash and went to take his shower as Rei closed the door to Asuka and hers room to change. A short while later, Shinji entered the kitchen and started breakfast, "Good morning Rei."
"Good morning Shinji, may I have ice cream for breakfast?" Rei asked sweetly from petting PenPen on the couch.
Sigh "Rei, you have what we call an addiction. Ice cream isn't good to eat at every meal, heck, I hate to tell you this, but it's borderline unacceptable for your special diet because of the dairy fat content. I don't get why it's so strict in the first place." By now Rei was worrying as Shinji pulled out her dietary requirement report, "Have you ever had meat before and do you have any personal ethical issues against it?"
"No, why is that relevant?"
"I'm just wondering how you're a vegetarian and "allergic" to meat and fish if you've never had any before. And…" Shinji's eye's widened, 'Hm, I don't cook kosher…whoops!' "Nevermind, it's not my place to ask."
Rei felt relieved and went back to petting the warm-water penguin.
"But if you ever want to skip out on it for a day, let me know and I'll make my best," Shinji told her as he finished making batter for the pancakes, rice, preparing the fish, peeling bacon from the package, and browning some tofu. I don't know how to cook really, so let's say kami-sama did his thing and Misato finally arose to the smell of food.
Yawn Misato stumbled towards the table and raised her hand in the air. Whoosh click "Ahhhh! Good stuff!" Misato said as her eyes finally opened. Asuka emerged from her room and sat down at the table, with slightly damp hair and rubbing her eyes.
"I see Rei isn't eating ice cream anymore, I thought you'd get sick of it Shinji," Misato mentioned as she crushed the can and readjusted her top. "I have to go in earlier than your tests today, so you three are going to have to walk unless you want to leave now."
"No thanks, I have to clean up this mess," Shinji gestured to the kitchen as the others ate, "and I think I'll have a spar with PenPen, right?"
"War" (Sure) PenPen lifted his head from the dish full of kami-sama's heavenly repast and made note to polish his "stabby" later.
Asuka declined the offer to go in early and looked at Misato as if she was insane, "I'll be in our room, come and get me when we need to leave."
Rei just went straight to her second home, the tv, to play some GTA: Mario Kingdom. Fan's around the world rejoiced when the merger produced a game where Mario had finally got fed up with using his fists and feet. The first half of the game was a beautiful massacre, but no bad words surprisingly, on the hero's behalf and then the enemy finally realized they needed armor and guns of their own. Rei was hoping to get to the climatic final battle by using a mega-mushroom to be able to lift up a missile silo, which she had to go back and save from the bullet bills, so she could blow up the magic barrier outpost.
Misato went back to her room, came out dressed, and was about to leave when Shinji stopped her, "Hey Misato. Take these in early for me will ya?" Shinji handed her a very large shopping bag, "There's also an extra special bento in there for your troubles."
"Sure! Bye everyone!" Misato took the bag and shouted back into the apartment. A few muffled partings could be heard from the door. "See you later Shinji-kun," Misato kissed the pilot on the cheek and left. Shinji smiled and went to pick up his boken (? I think it's a wooden sword) 'Time to get my ass handed to me by a meter tall bird. Wait, I have to call the bastard first.'
Despite numerous reports that the commander would not come in for a career conference with the school for Shinji, the school still thought that the teenager should at least call and see. Picking up the phone Shinji sighed.
Ring Ring Rin- "What?" Gendo answered the phone, he was busy at the moment. The damn operator would be fired for patching this through.
"Hey commander," Shinji strained to say, "the school won't stop bugging me to call you."
"About what? Those are Katsuragi's concerns."
"I know, but for some reason they thought you'd be interested in my career conference. So call them and straighten it out. Click"Shinji hung up the phone on Gendo before he could respond. PenPen was waiting for him next to his fridge.
"Well, let's take this to the roof PenPen" "Wark"
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Earlier in the morning, the bridge bunnies and the cat lady minus Makoto were not at NERV working. With the recent lack in angel attacks, they had been granted a semblance to an actual life where they were still pressed for time. Currently at a cleaner, Maya lifted the lid of the automatic washer and pulled the pressed clothing out, "I'd at least like some more time to do some washing myself, don't you think sempai?"
"Yes, and cleaning doesn't come cheap…" Ritsuko agreed as she pulled out her clothes and paid the machine which thanked her for her patronage.
Shigeru nodded as well, "We're lucky that nothing's happened lately at least."
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Ritsuko entered the train station and pushed her NERV card in and out. The train finally arrived and she entered, 'Well look who it is.'
"Good morning," Ritsuko said as she put her clothes on the overhead shelf.
"Good morning," Maya said as she sat by sempai.
"Good morning, Sir!" Shigeru mock saluted and opened up his guitar magazine as he sat down.
"Morning," Fuyutsuki replied to the three. 'I could've retired, but nooo. I had to see how the angel attacks would play out.'
"You're early today, the committee meeting right?" Ritsuko asked her superior.
"Yes, I'm going to the upper city for a bit to represent NERV during the city council elections. Thank goodness for the MAGI or I'd be lost," the vice-commander sighed.
"I think it's interesting how the MAGI are actually in control of the city," Maya spoke up, remembering a recent lesson on the super computers and their functions.
"You mean the MAGI choose the council?" Shigeru looked up from his magazine, 'I guess I don't have to feel guilty I didn't vote.'
"No, the computers simply make all the decisions for them and they follow that," Fuyutsuki elaborated, 'Damn, why didn't I run for a council seat?'
"Oh"
"It makes sense they're starting to call this the city of science when the technology's omnipotent," Maya decided.
It was silent for a little bit, you know those silences where you wait for someone to say something, when the vice-commander remembered something, "You're running those tests on the carbon-fiber LCL weapons today, right?"
"Yes, whenever the pilots finish their syncs we can begin the tests."
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Misato had arrived later in the parking garage and was getting into the elevator when someone started screaming to wait. 'Not today, I'm not in the mood after hauling this giant bag,' our favorite drunkard thought as she pressed the close door button and rubbed her sore shoulder. The man neared and she started pressing the button rapidly. Unfortunately, his hand hit the safety bar in the narrow opening, 'Damn!'
Kaji hunched over puffing as he entered the elevator, "Phew, that was close."
"I know, so very close," Misato sighed at the lost opportunity, 'I should have just shot a few rounds in, I mean "at" him.'
"I just kept running and running and I made it. It doesn't look you're in a good mood," he noticed.
"It's because I saw you, just don't try anything today," Misato fingered her gun.
"Relax, relax. What's the bag for?"
"It's lunch from kami-sama and some other things."
"Ah, Shinji's cooking is truly a gift from the heavens," Kaji's eyes closed in remembrance of he beer battered shrimp he got for taking the girls out shopping.
"I'll agree with you on that."
Suddenly the elevator stops and the emergency lighting is turned on. Kaji stared at the lights incredulously, "A power failure?"
"That's impossible. It can't happen," Misato shook her head, "Something's strange. An accident?"
Kaji grinned, "Maybe Ritsuko screwed up an experiment?"
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Meanwhile, in the laboratory, Ritsuko sneezed and the power shut down. She was currently at the power control panel for the armory test lab where they were testing the conductivity possibilities of the carbon-fiber lcl material. It held a good charge, but like normal LCL, disappeared after the electrolysis.
"The main power supply is non-operational. The voltage reads zero," Maya looked at her sempai and the rest of the crew stared expectantly.
"Stop looking at me like that, I didn't do it" 'This time…'
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Back in the elevator Kaji waited for Misato's opinion, "Well, what do you think?"
"At least, the power should be switched to the Standby supply soon," Misato said confidently.
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In the control room, Central Dogma I think, Fuyutsuki was bewildered by what was happening.
"No, sir. The Standby circuit isn't operating," Shigeru, the only bunny at the moment, informed him.
"That can't be. How are the operating circuits?" the vice-commander called down to a lower level of staff.
"1.2 percent in all. Only 9 circuits from No. 2567," random tech girl 66 replied.
The grey-haired man felt like pulling his hair out, 'Gendo's sitting behind me. But no, he doesn't care unless it's angel related.' "Use all operational power supplies to maintain MAGI and Central Dogma."
Shigeru realized something immediately, "But that will interfere with life-support in the entire building." 'No air conditioning! Why!'
"That's fine. This is a top priority issue," Fuyutstuki returned to Gendo's side.
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Shortly before the power went out, Makoto was carrying a bag of laundry and waiting for the crosswalk light to change. In the background, a last minute propaganda van was driving around and promoting the citizens to vote Takahashi Nozumo for city council.
Makoto looked at his baggage oddly and spoke outloud, "Why the hell do I have Katsuragi's laundry? I thought this was one of the pilot's chores and if not, shouldn't Katsuragi do it?"
A little voice in his head tried to answer this for him: 'It's because changing the plot would make the author think harder. So you keep the same role of informing NERV when the angels arrive instead of having Shinji miraculously arrive early enough for the prepping of the Evas in time for the angel arrival. That would raise some questions for Shinji and don't you want to hijack a car?'
"You're right mister mysterious voice! I've always wanted to hijack a car! And I've conveniently forgotten about everything else you mentioned," Makoto replied as he noticed the street lights went out, "Wha?"
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Shinji had waited until five minutes before they had to leave to come down from the rooftop with PenPen. The power was still on, so it had to be soon that it would go out. Handing a yebisu to PenPen, he passed the video game entranced Rei and headed to his room. A minute or two later, he had to change shirts and re-deodorize, he banged on Asuka's door and shouted, "Time to go!"
The sound of shuffling passed thru the door and he made his way to the Playcube X, "Rei, save and we need to leave."
It was interesting whenever this happened. You see, Rei still had the duty as a pilot ingrained into her behavioral patterns, but every gamer worth his salt knows the pain of backtracking or speeding thru the level/area/countryside just to find a save point in a hurry. In this instance, Rei was prepared.
On the screen Mario pulled out a black and silver F.L.U.D.D. and poured a can of liquid in it. Changing from the main nozzle to hover, she pressed the R button down… Flames shot out of the device and the scenery flew by as the plumber used the makeshift jet pack! Mario landed with a tuck 'n roll and hit the save block at home base.
Of course this still took some time and the other pilots were waiting impatiently. "Gomen Shinji, Asuka."
"Whatever," the second and third said in sync.
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Sometime during the walk to NERV, the power had gone out. Asuka and Rei were ignorant of this as they tried to slide their NERV ID's thru the gate.
"Damn it. The door's busted!" Asuka shouted.
"We should try the other entrances," Rei suggested as she put her card away after checking it for flaws.
"I think the power's out," Shinji told them, 'Come on, what are the chances that every door here would be broke? Where did Asuka graduate from anyways?' That was a valid point, there were at least eight doors and he showed them that they all didn't work.
"Baka, the power can't go out," Asuka said and Rei gave a slight nod in agreement.
"Let's ask Misato," Shinji took out his cell phone and dialed her number. "It say's there's no service, I'm gonna try her cell."
The trio walked to the next set of entrances as Shinji began the phone calls. It was a hot day out.
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Meanwhile in NERV, Ritsuko and Maya were using male slave labor to pry the doors open between them and Central Dogma. About 7 guys were using a piece of test metal to open the hydraulic doors.
The grunts chanted as they worked on another door, "Yo-heave -ho. Yo-heave -ho. Yo mamma yes!"
The door opened with a loud crunch and Maya and her sempai shook their heads at the embarrassing chant.
Ritsuko took a step thru the opening and down the barely lit corridor, "Anyways, let's hurry to the control center. I can't believe that the power supply hasn't been restored yet. Something's wrong if it's been off for seven minutes."
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By this time, Misato had figured out that something was wrong and was repeatedly pressing the emergency call button. "Why doesn't this button work? It's an emergency!"
"What's the power supply grid like for NERV?" Kaji wondered aloud.
Deciding to humor him, "There's three systems: Main, Sub, and Standby. I can't believe all three would fail at the same #$#$ing time!"
"Hmm, that would mean..."
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"We have to believe that the breakers were tripped by someone rather than a system failure," Gendo analyzed the situation in Central Dogma.
"No matter what caused it, we'll be in serious trouble if an angel appears at a time like this," Fuyutsuki watched as some of the remaining power was transferred to the MAGI below.
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In the Fuchu Overall Headquarter of UN and JASDForces three commanders watched the grid display map detect an unidentified object hit land in Japan. They started the "standard protocol", which was let it attack NERV and Tokyo-3, and were frustrated when those damn meat shields didn't respond. Eventually they figured out something was wrong and sent out an old bi-plane with some jerry-rigged speakers to the city to warn them.
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Scenes change again to show a dimly lit Central dogma and two figures climbing up the side of the tower. It appears that Akagi and her unofficial assistant have finally reached their destination.
"I thought that a ladder was simply an old-fashioned ornament," Ritsuko stated and realized how dependent on technology they were for the umpteenth time that day, "I never imagined that I would use one again."
"As they say, preparation is prevention," Maya demonstrated as she climbed up the ladder behind her and flicked her flashlight on and off. 'Agh! I forgot sempai was wearing a skirt.'
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Asuka, Rei, and Shinji were walking thru a NERV owned pathway above ground and pressing the different buttons for doors. Asuka pressed her thumb against another button and stood back, confused, "Hmm... This doesn't work, either."
"Nothing works. This is strange," Rei said.
Shinji hung up the toll phone and smiled, "Yep, we're screwed if an angel attacks. The emergency line is out."
The girls just stared at him in as they thought about what would happen if an angel attacked. "Let's check our emergency manuals," Shinji said as he waved around an orange envelope.
Rei quickly found hers and Shinji let Asuka borrow his, saying "I'm gonna try something else."
"Aha, we'll have to find a manual entrance. Let's go to NERV," Rei said and put the manual away.
Asuka agreed, "Good idea. Well, let's elect a leader for our group before we do anything else." 'It's my time to take the spotlight!'
The first child just stared at the redhead, "Um, why? Does it make a difference?"
Asuka sweatdropped and tried to continue, "Naturally, I must be the …what are you doing Shinji?"
Shinji was huddled over his bag, arms impossibly deep in the container looking for something, "Aha! Here it is."
Thud The third child set the object on a nearby bench. "It's a military grade satellite phone with walkie talkie capabilities. Misato has another one inside the bento she's carrying." 'Okay, that's a lie, it's beside the bento,' "I was planning on a prank when she opened the box, but I guess I'll sacrifice my amusement to find out what's going on," he finished dramatically.
"WHY DIDN'T YOU TRY THIS BEFORE!" Asuka screamed. 'Wait, aren't those really heavy? It didn't look like he noticed it at all.'
"You may torture Shinji later," Rei tried to placate her friend, "go on Shinji. Turn it on and contact Misato."
'Hm, maybe I should have kept things the same here' Shinji mused as he flicked the switch on and pressed a button on the headset. 'If the battery's dead on her set by now, I'm going to demand a refund from Kensuke.'
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"It's really hot," Misato complained as she took her red jacket off. Why did she have to be trapped in an elevator in the middle of a continuous summer?
Kaji, with his brilliant deductive skills, told his ex the reason why, "The air conditioners aren't working."
"Well, duh. So the power's out there too?"
"Did my bag start talking Kaji?" "Yes, yes it did."
"Very funny, open the bag up and take the phone out or I'll make sure beer becomes extinct." Sniggering could be heard in the background as Misato gasped.
The two took the surprisingly heavy phone out and set it on the floor. Misato picked up the receiver, "Hello Kami-sama. Would you like to explain how this phone is working even when everything else is dead?"
"We're in the middle of a crisis and you ask me that? Fine, I'm using the walkie talkie option and the power's out, so the standard jammers on radio signals are dead. Now what the #$#$ is going on down there beer babe?"
"The power's out and I'm trapped with lady's man in an elevator, kami-sama. It's freaking hot."
"So you're as clueless as we are. Lady's man is there beer babe?"
"Yeah, he's beginning to annoy me Kami-sama." "I take offense to that."
"Lady's man, be kind and stop annoying beer babe and she'll share the bento I packed. I figured it was hot out today, so I made some beer cubes and made shaved ice. There's also some regular beer and special shrimp."
"Roger that Kami-sama, I won't bother beer babe."
"Shinji, give me that! You don't need to inflate your cooking ego. Now, do either of have any valuable input at all?"
"Sorry red blitz. Just make your way to Central Dogma and inform them we're trapped in the elevator."
"Ok, you had your fun. Give it back Asuka. Sigh. Turn your set off and then back on in ten minutes. I'll contact you then. Kami-sama over and out. Click."
Misato turned the set off and turned to Kaji, "I guess I have to share my lunch. You better be grateful."
"I am, I am. But doesn't it seem strange that Shinji gave you a spare military phone?" Kaji was a little suspicious now.
"Yep. But Shinji does stuff like this and he's not the enemy at least. So don't complain or I'll tell him you started to bother me again," Misato replied and took out a cooler from the bag Shinji gave her.
Kaji wasn't easily convinced and decided to talk to Shinji later just to make sure. But right now, he'd lay his faith in the kid as Misato revealed two bowls of shaved beer ice.
"Ah, good stuff. It doesn't feel so hot anymore," Misato chirped and Kaji replied, "Yep."
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Ritsuko and Maya, unfortunately, did not have anything to take their minds off of the situation. The air was getting stuffy and hot and all they had were paper fans and heavy jackets that they continued to wear for some reason.
"Things are getting worse and the air is getting staler. These facilities are supposed to be the pinnacle of modern science and we're operating by candlelight," Ritsuko stood behind Maya and kept fanning.
"Why do we even have candles if we never thought that we'd need them, sempai?"
"Ignore the plot hole…I mean, the commander has thousands of candles in his office for unknown personal reasons," the fake blonde made sure to exaggerate the "personal". 'Why he used to enjoy being burnt and covered in hot wax, I will never know.'
Maya heard someone sneeze and idly wondered how stuffy the air was.
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Aachoo! Gendo wiped his nose with a handkerchief, 'This is a waste of my candles, but it does bring back memories of sweet Yui...I still can't believe what that woman could make feel good.'
In a moment of reminisce, the commander of NERV kicked his feet around in the bucket of water below the terminal he was at, making splashes that Fuyutsuki commented on, "The water's lukewarm."
Gendo stiffened and resumed the stick-up-ass position, "Yes."
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After the radio conversation, Asuka had vaguely tried to establish her position as leader when Shinji said, "So, we go to Route-07 right?"
Rei remembered the manual and replied, "Yes."
"Okay then, follow me," 'I'll take the lead now,' Asuka started walking away from the group.
"Asuka, do a one-eighty," Shinji smiled and walked thru the opposite door with Rei in tow.
"Oh, right," Asuka said, scratching the back of her head before catching up, 'Damnit!'
The group continued for a bit before they reached a door with "R-07" on the metal with a circular device to the right. Shinji had started lagging behind in hopes that Rei or Asuka would try to open it first.
That didn't happen, "Hey, Shinji, you can handle the manual doors, there can't be that many, can there?" Asuka finished with a grin.
"Why don't we flip a coin for it?" Shinji asked…unfortunately Asuka was admiring one of the walls and Rei was giving commentary on the beneficial properties of that particular wall. Shinji sighed and flipped the handle out of the crank. With a grunt he started it from the locked position, but finally the momentum picked up it wasn't as bad as last time when it took all his body weight to budge it.
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I'm sure you're all curious about what happened to Makoto…what? you're not? Well he is. 'Why the hell am I walking on the railroad tracks? If the power came back on, I could be fried by the rails,' the techie thought as he walked along the train tracks to NERV with Misato's laundry in tow.
The JASDF airplane flew overhead at that precise moment with the message, "This is the Third District Japan Air Self-Defense Force. An unidentified object is now approaching this location. Residents, please go to your designated shelters as soon as possible."
Makoto jumps over the barrier to the people mover side walk and panics, "Big trouble! I must inform Headquarters. But how?"
As Makoto stares dramatically at the heavens, the propaganda van comes down the street again, "Remember Takahashi, Takahashi Nozomu, who isn't perturbed even in such an emergency."
Makoto stared in disbelief, "Ah, I'm lucky! I get to hijack a car!"
Minutes later, said car was occupied by a hyper Makoto, a crazed driver who had always wanted to speed thru the streets unimpaired, and the worried announcer who was trying to keep her calm while announcing: "Due to the state of special emergency in this district, an emergency vehicle is going... Hey, this is a dead end, you know."
Makoto shrugged, 'What does she mean? It's just a crossing arm, it doesn't even have those stop spikes' "No it's not. Drive into there!
"What!" the announcer girl screamed.
"It's an emergency, don't worry about her," Makoto told the driver, who looked like he was thoroughly enjoying himself with that crazed smile.
"Roger!" the driver crashed thru the arm and kept going, 'I feel just like my idol: Katsuragi-sama!'
"Help! Stop!" the announcer, who probably was just doing volunteer work or getting minimum wage, screamed as she held onto the dashboard.
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Ritsuko, Fuyutsuki, and Gendo were now discussing the situation; it wasn't like they had much else to do. The grey haired senior of the group, Fuyutsuki, began, "This Geo-front was designed to be a self-sufficient colony if it was ever isolated from the outside. Theoretically, all the power supplies couldn't fail."
Ritsuko nodded, "We know and that means that someone did it intentionally."
"I would estimate that their purpose is to research this place," Gendo looked like a larger than normal object was stuck up his ass than there normally was. 'SEELE, maybe. But it doesn't seem like them to do something so brazen and unlikely.'
"You mean that they want to guess the structures of Headquarters from the recovery procedures," Ritsuko mulled over the concept in her head.
"That's damn annoying," Fuyutsuki commented, this was turning out to be one of the worst days he's had in a while. It was hot, muggy, he had been Gendo's errand boy for the election, and now they were being freaking sabotaged.
Ritsuko sighed and started to leave, "I'll run some dummy programs on Magi to make it difficult for them to understand the whole."
Gendo agreed with her ideas, leaving him with his old sensei. Fuyutsuki voiced his frustrations, "To think that the first damage to headquarters should be caused by people. I can't believe it!"
"In the end, humanity is its own enemy," Gendo reassumes the almighty bastard position.
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Walking thru the concrete service tunnels with a couple of flashlights (courtesy of kami-sama), Shinji sings out loud due to boredom and unsuccessfully tries to get the girls to join him, "We're off to see the bastard, the despicable bastard of NERV, he is a ass if ever an ass if ever an ass there was, if ever if ever an ass there was, the bastard of NERV is one because, because because because because because...because of all of the horrible things he does, doodootdoodoodeeleedoo…Oh we're off to see the bastard, the despicable bastard of NERV. Now come on, let's sing together this time. Oh we're…"
Just kidding, he only hummed his rendition of the song that I don't own. The second and third children were walking side-by-side with Rei trailing behind. Asuka turned to the side and stared at him, wondering about his current mental state and her patience, "Stop that, a couple of more minutes and we'll be at the Geo-front hopefully."
Shinji stopped humming loudly long enough for a short reply, "I know, you keep repeating that as if your sanity depends on it." And then started up again.
Asuka's eyebrow twitched as her face twisted, she hated that $#$#ing movie! "It does, and in a few moments, so will your life!"
"Why's that?" Shinji smiled and hummed extremely loud, causing the song to magnify and echo throughout the tunnel ways.
Rei, who had remained silent and had never seen the movie or heard the song, found herself agreeing with Asuka as her left brow twitched. Something about it rubbed her the wrong way. Two minutes later she snapped, "Shinji, shut the hell up!"
Shinji and Asuka stopped and turned around to stare at the first child in disbelief. 'Did Rei just tell me to "shut the hell up"?' Shinji tried to speak, but the words wouldn't come.
"Did Rei just do that? Go Rei!" Asuka punched the air and walked over to keep her new favorite person company.
Shinji remained still as the two walked past him, 'That's just so weird. Wait, isn't that…'
Makoto Hyuuga's voice could be heard as the propaganda van passed over head on a causeway, "An Angel is coming, repeat an angel is coming now!"
Asuka starts to scream, "Hyuga-san! Hey!" even though no way he could ever hear it.
"An angel is coming, I repeat, an angel is coming now!" the light from the van fades as it enters another tunnel.
"Well, isn't this fun," Shinji smiles as Asuka realizes what Makoto said, click "Hey beer babe, an angel's on its way. We're about 15 or so minutes from headquarters."
"What? Oh #$#$, isn't this just great? Hurry your ass up kami-sama!"
"Hai, hai. No time to waste, so over and out." Click. Shinji turns his high-tech walkie-talkie off.
In the meantime, Rei was analyzing the situation and jogged up to an adjacent wall with a large air duct, "We can take a shortcut through the vents over here. Help me get the cover off."
"Come on baka, hurry up!" Asuka shouted as she knelt by Rei and started to work on kicking the grate in.
"Sigh, Move," Shinji placed the satellite phone into his bag and pulled out a crowbar. The two girls stepped to the side as he pried the grate off in one swift movement. They stared at him as he nonchalantly place the long piece of steel back in his pack. 'That saved some time.'
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'It's so quiet.' "Damn it! This might be a shortcut, but we're getting filthy. I can't believe we breathe in this stuff," Asuka ranted as she looked at her grime covered hand. The group was crawling thru the air ducts and she finally broke the silence.
"I guess, at least asbestos was outlawed before this place was built," Shinji replied and somehow killed the newborn conversation as silence reined.
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A few minutes later, Shinji kicked the aluminum grate off the end of the duct and saw the infamous fork in the road.
Asuka crawled out of the vent and stood up, facing the branching pathways in confusion, "Well...let's go to the right."
"I think it's to the left," Rei voiced as she stood up as well.
Asuka tried to see the end of each pathway with her flashlight, but failed, "Hm, what do you think, Shinji?" She and Rei turned to face him.
'We could get dangerously close to the angel by veering right and then have to turn back, or we could go left. Such a hard choice,' Shinji thought with a finger on his chin, "Let's go left first. I wonder how they're going to prep the evas?"
Asuka wanted to refute his choice, but was taken back by the question and followed Shinji and Rei as the albino girl replied, "I remember they have an emergency generator and manual procedure…"
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Said procedure was underway after Makoto drove into central dogma and warned the staff of the incoming angel. The whole process involved a lot of manual labor, pulleys, hydraulic hoses being cut, and weird group work chants. Gendo actually helped as well, which only caused the lowly minions to freak out and work ten times as hard to avoid being fired. Eventually, everything was in position and ready, except they had no pilots.
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The silence was numbing, but the three teens continued on their way to NERV, encountered a blocked passage (in which Shinji pulled out the crowbar again and bashed in another goddamn grate), and was nearing their destination. Shinji appreciated the silence because they could hear the last of the preparations being made and that distracted Asuka from kicking him in the face this time for "looking forward".
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"Rei, what's below that grate?" Asuka asked as she crawled after the girl in the narrow air duct. 'I should tell Shinji not to look up my skirt…'
"I'm not looking up your skirt Asuka, relax," Shinji startled the red head.
"Wha?"
"Be quiet you two, we're there," Rei said as she kicked out the grate in front of her. She jumped down and Asuka followed, conveniently forgetting about Shinji's comment.
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Maya and Ritsuko watched as all the random male mechanics and techies finished hanging the entry plugs by pulley system. They had just been talking about the pilots when the air duct started to rain teenagers.
"Hello," Rei greeted the scientific engineers and side-stepped to her left.
"Hiya," Asuka cheered, happy to be done with the adventure thru the bowels of NERV, and side-stepped to her right.
"Hi Ritsuko, Maya," Shinji dropped in-between the two and set his bag down, "Ah, that's better."
"Hey you guys, just in time," Ritsuko looked over the dirt covered individuals and then turned back to the evas to oversee the preparatory operations now.
"Come on, we have your plug suits in the cage control rooms," Maya leaded the threesome away and Shinji saw his chance to escape momentarily.
Shinji approached a group of men standing around a bunch of metal poles, 'Perfect.' "You five, Ibuki-san has orders for you when she comes back, so stay right there."
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After changing in the dark with the aid of a flashlight, Asuka stepped out of the room and Rei walked in. Shinji was leaning against the wall, talking to Maya. "So we don't know anything but an angel is approaching."
"No, but we're confident you will defeat it,"
"Damn right we will!" Asuka stood beside Shinji and remembered something, "Say Shinji, didn't you forget someone?"
"That's right!" Shinji feigned surprise 'That's convenient…oh well, don't complain.' "Maya, Misato's stuck in the elevator on the east side of the parking garage on central dogma's level. Could you get a group of men to open it? Oh I don't want to explain how I know because for some reason using military grade satellite phones seems to violate 2 international laws and 4 of NERV contract stipulations here." Shinji smiled as the two gaped.
"Baka! Why do you even have them here?" Asuka yelled.
"Because I almost have immunity from all punishment, NERV won't turn me in to the greater authorities and NERV needs pilots. I would get a week's detention at most and it would be worth it. All I was planning on was scaring Misato and setting up another prank on the commander."
Maya and Asuka's expression changed as if a prank on the commander explained and justified everything. Well, it did. Maya even said so, "Ok, then that's alright. I bet you would get most of NERV's support, wait. You're responsible for all those happenings? How?"
Shinji grinned and Rei came out of the room. Shinji grabbed a flashlight and his suit and replied as he went to change, "That's…a…secret!" 'Ah, that felt good. Now I know why people do that.'
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After some unsuccessful prying, Maya told the group of men next to the pry bars to get Misato. Asuka, Rei, and Shinji were assisted into the plug and the prep procedures went underway under the command of the commander. One of the mechanics started the diesel generator and the final procedures started as the entry plugs twisted into the necks of the Eva's and started.
Ritsuko stood beside Maya and Gendo and relayed information, "All are ready for activation with the auxiliary power sources."
"Remove the first lock bolt," Gendo shouted and his little pawns skirted away and cut the hydraulic hoses holding the machinery in place.
A random operator shouts, "Release hydraulic locks 2 through 32" and moments later Maya relays the results, "The pressure is zero. They're situation free."
Gendo looks over things one final time, "All right. Everyone, remove the bindings by force."
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"So Shinji, it looks like everything turned out alright, except you forgot to set up the night-vision camera in the cage control room," Yui reported after a mild mind rape.
Shinji held onto the sides of his head and rolled his eyes, "Yea, forgot…right. Ow."
"Oops, I guess I was in a rush, is it gone now?"
"Yes," Shinji sat back in his seat and heard the command to push out the final restraints, "So how's everything here?"
"Same as usual, I spend most of the time on the net, but Naoko is adjusting well and has been inducted into our group by Kyoko and me…"
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Asuka watched the pretty syncing scenery disappear and the dimly lit cage come into focus.
"Daughter," Kyoko contacted Asuka in a sing song voice, "Did you have much trouble getting here?"
"Gah, Yes! I need a shower so badly right now. But I'm on the job right now, we have work to do."
"'Relax, I finally got Yui's concept of an artificial S2 organ, so we're in no trouble of running out of power. It's amazing since it's based off of Katsuragi's work, I wonder what Misato would have come up with if she followed in his steps?"
"Probably an instant sobering pill and a way to power the Evas off alcohol," Asuka guessed.
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"Hello Rei."
"Hello Naoko," Rei squirmed a bit in her seat.
"So, did you try it yet?" You could almost feel the grin from Naoko's mental voice.
"No…"
"Well, no rush. I have some stuff to tell you later, and now onto a happier note…"
Rei blushed faintly as the soul of Unit-00 planted some descript images into her naïve mind. She had gotten the idea from Yui and now was her test run. "Wh-what are you doing?"
"Oops, sorry Rei. I hacked into the NERV cameras and found some pictures of Shinji. I thought you'd like them. Maybe you'd react better to some of Asuka."
"Please refrain from doing that in the future," Rei shifted in her seat as she heard the command to push the restraints off.
"Alright, but I know you're curious. I'll remember this as we continue your sync training later, but right now, let's begin our mission."
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Makoto had just finished diverting some of the newly gained power to the sensors and relayed the bad news. "The target has halted just above us."
Ritsuko knew it was pointless to yell this but, 'Might as well' "Hurry up the preparations!"
"The emergency batteries have been installed in them," Maya shouted out from an observation deck higher up and began running back to sempai's level. 'Kami, I'm going to be sore after this.'
She rounded the corner to barely miss colliding with a rushing Misato and Kaji and chased after them.
"Hey, thanks for the help. It was unbearable in there," Misato called over her shoulder at the young technician. After climbing down another flight of stairs, they arrived in time to here Ritsuko take Misato's lines.
"Well. They're ready. Launch!" Ritsuko shouted and the bio-mechs began to head out, "Oh, hey Misato. Where have you been? I hope you and Kaji didn't do something improper."
Misato, red in the face from sprinting from the elevator, didn't get the chance to reply as Kaji answered, "Nah, I'm not that lucky. We got stuck in the elevator and I have to be nice to Misato because she shared Shinji's bento. Did you know he can make shaved ice beer?"
"Um…no," Ritsuko stared and shook her head. Normally Kaji would have jumped at the chance.
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Asuka took the point as the evas "launched" up an elevator shaft. Unfortunately, launching in this instance consisted of climbing, shimmying, and crawling and one mistake could make you fall and take everyone else out. The looming time limit on their battery supplies only concerned Rei, but Shinji and Asuka didn't want to explain what happened if they went over. It was one of the things Shinji had informed her that the commander would not appreciate and would earn them an all expense paid trip to the holding cells of Section 4. The only loopholes were falling unconscious and berserkers.
"I hate missions like this, I bet this looks ridiculous," Asuka talked over the com with a holo picture appearing on the others' HUD's.
"Hey, be thankful we don't have to wear stuff like the Type-D equipment," Shinji retorted and watched as Unit-00 stumbled in front of him, "Rei, is their something wrong?"
"No, nothing's wrong," Rei avoided the face of Shinji and Asuka on her HUD and stared at the layout of NERV, "we are nearing the pit and anticipated contact point."
Unit-02 stopped at the steel plating and kicked at it several times before hit blew off the frame and hit the opposite wall of the pit.
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Meanwhile on the surface, the ninth angel, Matariel had settled over the intersection of two streets above NERV. The angel, if you can imagine or just wiki it, looked like a four legged daddy long legs spider with multiple eyes all over the main body. The eye on the bottom started to secret an orange liquid that pooled and fell down onto the street below with interesting results. Meaning that it dissolved straight thru the pavement.
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"Wait a minute, Asuka, can you see what's going on up there?" Shinji asked the second child before she jumped into the pit.
'Why?' "Sure…there's a whole bunch of nothing, it's dark, and what the hell is that?" Asuka pointed to the liquid that narrowly missed the unit's head. The tunnel started to brighten up as the dissolved hole exposed it to the outside.
"Here Rei, pass this up to Asuka. Asuka, hold it out into the liquid," Eva unit-01 unclipped one of its battery packs and handed it to the still orange Unit-00 (remember, I kept it orange).
Unit-02 grabbed the battery from Unit-00 and held it out into the chasm. A second later the orange liquid hit the battery and a bit of the forearm of Asuka's evangelion. "Ow, it burns," Asuka hissed in pain as she shook some of the goo off.
Rei surmised the situation, "The target is trying to directly invade headquarters using a strong solvent liquid. We have four minutes thirty seconds remaining. Are you okay Asuka?"
"Yeah, but I'm gonna destroy that thing!" Asuka declared. 'Hm, that's it! Mama, could we use our AT fields from here?"
"I'd think so, but I'm not sure with all the interference. Let me ask Yui…yea, she says that this angel's a wimp anyways. She and Shinji can take care of it…Naoko and Rei will help out as well."
"Pass me your rifle and let's neutralize its AT field. Rei hang onto my feet. I'll shoot it from the opening."
"Sounds good," Shinji passed up the gun. "I agree," Rei handed the pallet rifle off. "Alright, let's do this," Asuka mounted the gun in the unit's armpit and prepared to slide out by lying on her back.
"Mom, let's go about 195 and not take any chances." "Alright Shinji."
"Naoko?" "Just focus on synching like normal and I'll help as best I can. We really need to work on the theory next sync test."
"Mama, sync us as high as possible," "Don't worry, you won't fail."
"Now!" Rei held onto the feet of the red bio-mech as it slid into the opening and let off a burst of shots. The shots pierced the angel's body easily and it slumped to the side, vacant of life.
"Well, we kicked its ass. Kinda disappointing really. Pull me back Rei," Asuka exhaled and let herself relax, "Another one down."
"We should take the evas to the surface, it'll be easier for them to retrieve and we can wait outside," Shinji decided.
"Sure, here's your rifle. Let's go before the batteries run out," Asuka swung out into the pit and shimmied her way to the top.
"Alright, we have three minutes twenty seconds of battery left. We should be able to make it to the western hills overlooking the city that Misato showed us," Rei was next to exit into the pit and move up.
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A couple of hours later in the evening, Ritsuko was leading Maya, Makoto, Kaji, and Misato back to the elevator when the lights turned back on. Power had been restored earlier to the inner levels and was finally reaching the outer corridors. She noticed the bent metal edges of the doors and a large metal pry bar on the ground. "Hey, how did you two get out of there?"
"Maya sent us help after Shinji-kun arrived," Misato pushed the up button, hoping the device still worked. She had confirmed that the three units were outside and even used the exterior phone to talk to Asuka, Rei, and Shinji, but now she had to pick them up and bring them back since Section 4 was investigating the power grid.
"Yes, apparently Shinji-kun was going to use some military grade satellite phones in a prank, but he ended up not getting the chance," Maya informed them. "Did you hear about all the happenings around the commander?"
The five silently decided to forget all about the illegal transmitters. Well, maybe Kaji thought a little more into it. He was a spy on SEELE's behalf, and Shinji seemed to hate his father with utter passion. 'Maybe we can make a deal when we reach the later angels.'
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For the last couple of hours, the three children had spent the time on the hillside talking to the evacuees from their school (my story, they're on the same hill as the shelter) until they had to return to their homes. Now they were waiting for Misato to show up and looking at the stars. Shinji had laid down and was soon sandwiched between the other two.
Shinji felt the need to repeat himself from before "It's ironic that without the artificial electric lights, the stars are very beautiful."
Asuka smirked a bit, "I guess it does, but it almost feels lonely without all the lights."
"I heard that 'We fear the darkness and, to survive, chase it away with flames' once," Rei mentioned as she sat up.
"That's philosophy," Asuka sat up and saw the lights turn on, "Ah that's better."
"Hm, but sometimes the dark is a good thing and it's just as necessary as light to maintain our lives," Shinji sat up, "I wish we had some glow sticks or maybe fireworks."
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A/N: 13,000 words. It took a while, but this chapter without the omake's was huge for me. It's about 15,600 with the omakes. Not too many crossovers though. If you have any suggestions, review. Such as, what should happen to Kaji? I'm not gonna kill him, but he doesn't get Misato either, ooh…maybe I should resurrect the souls and hook him up with Naoko? That just hit me. Oh my, so many ideas are popping up because I forgot about what would happen to the souls of the evas. I'll try to update more often, but you're better off putting my story on an alert or favorites.
Omakes: Gendo's badluck
It took a bit of snooping, but Shinji had found out what apartment complex Gendo lived in. It was showtime…
The commander of NERV unlocked his door and went straight to the kitchen. Despite popular opinion, he did go home every night if possible. Where else would his private Yui-shrine be? His treasured piece was the last picture taken of the former family, so what if he had pillaged his former son's belongings to get it before sending him away?
Knock Knock Knock Someone at the door? That was rare. Gendo set down his sandwich and went to the door. "Who is it?"
"It's the landlord, sir. I'm sorry, but there's been a reported bug infestation and we need all residents to evacuate. You may either stay at a shelter, provided hotel, or fend for yourself. Please be out of the building by noon tomorrow."
Gendo absorbed he information and returned to his sandwich. He would simply pack up his belongings and stay at NERV.
The next day, a moving van came and his belongings were placed inside except for his shrine, which he would bring in himself on the train. Secretly, Shinji started to go through his genetic relation's things in the back of the van and sabotage them. Just some subtle things such as loosening buttons, waxing bottoms of shoes, weakening the fabric in the backside of a few pants, and adding some insects of his own. Who knew the next time he would open some of these boxes with his busy schedule?
After a few weeks, Gendo had slipped and torn some of his clothing. But the de-bugging of his complex was taking forever. They kept finding new problems that, after investigated, were still legitimate. He had seen how bad the infestation was in some of his own boxes.
And what was worse was that SEELE kept pressuring him to follow their scenario, they were afraid of the power his piloting pawns held.
Sorry, I can't think of any more. I just got bored with specific details. For now, just imagine little things that Gendo can't trace back to Shinji. Or since this is an Omake, have a flaming candle shoved up his ass and explode. Whatever floats your boat. I like my other omakes more.
The joys of cooking
One day during the four weeks of angel absence, Misato, Rei, and Asuka decided to cook breakfast for Shinji for once. He had really gone all out last night, Rei had particularly liked the taste of this weird fruit Bos-taurus-angus. It was cut in slices like watermelon, could be browned like tofu or else it leaked the red juices like watermelon (except the browning part, but she wasn't sure), and tasted good with a little salt, again like watermelon. In reality, Shinji didn't have the heart to tell her it was angus beef when she devoured it and said it was her favorite next to strawberry ice cream. Misato and Asuka just grinned after being informed that it was perfectly healthy for her.
Anyways, they felt indebted and decided to make breakfast. Rei and Asuka started in the first step by throwing a case of Yebisu out of the apartment and locking their guardian out. They let her in after they finished and it was just in time to see Shinji stumble into the kitchen.
"Good morning Shinji-kun! We made breakfast for you," Misato, Rei, and Asuka cheered in different levels of enthusiasm.
"Thank you, it looks…great," Shinji said as they pushed in his chair and looked at the settings. There it was…evil.
"Um…could you get me something else to drink?"
"Huh, why?" Asuka glared at him.
"I hate milk," Shinji replied.
"Why? You use it all the time when you cook," Rei asked in confusion.
Shinji shivered as he started to reply and looked at them gravely, "Only when I heat it up past 100 degrees and can't recognize it."
"What about ice cream?" Misato asked gravely.
"Never had it, never will."
"Shinji, you didn't answer why, it is not supposed to harm you," Rei insisted.
"NO! I refuse! I'm not gonna drink some opaque white liquid the was secreted by the underside of a cow! Who the hell was the person who thought: Hm, I wonder if what that calf is drinking tastes good and let me go over to the cow and suck on it to find out!" Shinji clapped his hands together and hit the floor. Suddenly there was a bright light and a hole in the ground where he used to be.
The three females just stood there and thought: 'What the #$#$?'
Mel Brooks, don't sue me
Sometime during the walk to NERV, the power had gone out. Asuka and Rei were ignorant of this as they tried to slide their NERV ID's thru the gate. Meanwhile Shinji was sliding his card through all of the doors.
"Damn it. The door's busted!" Asuka shouted as she banged the door.
Moments later, Asuka, Rei, and Shinji were walking thru another NERV owned pathway above ground and pressing the different buttons for doors. An impatient Asuka shoved her thumb against another button and stood back, pissed, "Crap, even in the future nothing works!"
Damn Physics
Shinji decided to keep everything exactly the same as last time in this omake. Asuka was shielding him from the acid and Rei had just thrown him the gun. "Asuka, clear the way!"
Eva Unit-02 gladly swung out of the way and Unit-01 pumped the angel full of lead, "Yes! We did it!"
Unfortunately, as Shinji and his fellow pilots celebrated, several of the bullets came straight back down and killed him. The end.
An electrical error in your favor
The city was recovering from the recent attack that had done minimal structure damage, but had screwed up its electrical grid and electronics so badly. Rei was counting her blessings as her game files were not corrupted, Shinji was glad his laptop with some of his plans was safe, Asuka was happy her stereo was alright, and Misato…well, that's a different omake in itself.
Knock knock knock "Coming!" Shinji ran to the door thinking it was a package, 'It's about time my itching powder, syringes, and ferret pheromones arrived.'
Unfortunately, it was not the delivery man, but someone wearing a black suit, black sunglasses, and the typical security earpiece.
"Um, if this is about that order of plutonium, it was just a joke," Shinji laughed awkwardly.
"No, I am here to escort Councilman PenPen to work," the no neck man said in a deep voice.
Relieved that it didn't concern him, Shinji returned to normal, "Ok, I'll go get him."
Shinji walked to the fridge and it opened before he could say anything. The warm water penguin walked out of the fridge in a business suit and handed Shinji a piece of paper that said: "Congratulations Mr. PenPen, it is the first time in history that a write-in candidate has won a seat on city council, much less all the seats combined. But since we completely believe in the MAGI and their decisions, we will ignore the blatant impossibility of your victory. We will send some one to pick you up Monday morning for your first day of work. If you decline, the former council will remain in power and we will have another election."
"So you're in charge of the city now?" "Wark! War warkk wark wArk"
"Yeah, better you than the incompetent losers we had. Have fun!" Shinji congratulated PenPen as he walked out of the apartment.
Misato, having heard the conversation, stopped her smallest roommate and whispered in his ear, "Could you do something about my traffic tickets please?"
"Wark," PenPen nodded and started his first day of work.
Weeks later, the city had a budget surplus with all the salary saved, UN funding for being high risk and needing constant repairs (even though Kami-sama prevented all damage now), and a new campaign of decreasing living expenses. It was enough to hire assassins to kill Chairman Keel of SEELE after influencing them to have Gendo de-throned from NERV. Of course, PenPen stole Keel's fortune and used it to open an amusement park that featured the fastest rollercoaster designed after Misato's driving habits.
Do you think I could use some of this in my story later on?
Misato gave an exasperated sigh as she let her charges into the apartment after the long day. They began to check the electronics and luckily nothing was broken. She rose her hand into the air and kami-sama delivered a can of yebisu, but something felt wrong. Click glug, glug, AcK! "THE BEER! IT'S WARM! NOOOOOOOOOO!"
Shinji, Rei, and Asuka stared at the poor woman who was writhing on the ground. Eventually they comforted her with sweet nothings that the beer would cool back down and she cried herself to sleep. Why didn't they understand? She had wasted a can of alcohol!
That night, not being able to sleep herself. Rei walked out into the kitchen and stared at the half can of Yebisu. She wondered why the Major overreacted so and thought that consuming the liquid may help her understand. She finished and stared at the can, didn't Misato say it wasn't cold. Well then, what did a cold one taste like?
She finished the cold one and could understand it tasted better, but what was the big deal? Asuka, during the meantime, had noticed her roommate missing and found the blue haired girl in the kitchen putting a couple of cans of beer in a warm water bath.
"What are you doing?" Asuka mumbled as she took not of the empty cans on the table.
"I don't get why Misato freaked the hell out. So I decided to experiment with it."
'I really should stop her, but it's a lesson she'll find out on her own. I wonder if she'll get a hangover,' Asuka thought and then replied, "Sounds good to me, I'll get a piece of paper to record your findings each time. I'm not that thirsty."
Five cans of beer later, Asuka recorded her final findings with amusement, "So cold beer is good because it's cold and warm beer sucks because it's warm?"
"Hai," Rei didn't slur much for a drunk, but it definitely loosened her up and she couldn't seem to keep her thoughts to herself, "I wonder what Shinji-kun tastes like?"
"Wh-what?" Asuka stammered as she finished putting the beer away. She walked up to her friend who was beginning to make her way to Shinji's room. "You're drunk Rei, go to bed."
Rei resisted Asuka trying to push her into their room, "I am. Shinji's bed."
"Grrr. I hope you have a massive hangover," Asuka blocked Shinji's fusuma, "Go to sleep in your own bed."
"Hm, you're jealous," Rei grinned and placed a wobbly finger on the redhead's lips, "Don't be."
"Mphf," Asuka tried to speak but found her friend silencing her with her lips.
Rei pulled back and walked past the stunned girl into Shinji's room. She approached his bed and kneeled over his face.
Shinji's eyes shot open when he felt something on his face. 'Rei? Tongue? Dreaming?' Shinji's thoughts rambled as he tried to wake up.
"Sorry Shinji, you have a hot bod, but Asuka kisses better than you."
I could go on, but I'm lazy and cruel.
A unlikely possibility
Gendo looked over the preparations one last time and nodded to Akagi to launch. He thought with a determined bastard look on his face, 'This turned out well, but I will not forget to pay the electric bill again. Thank Yui that they think it was sabotage.'
Looking forward
Asuka was crawling in the air ducts towards NERV in-between Rei and Shinji when she realized something, "Shinji, you hentai. Don't you dare look forward."
Shinji, however, had already done so and couldn't keep his mouth shut, "So, you wear Hello Kitty panties, who cares?"
Asuka kicked him in the face repeatedly.
---------------------Again------------------
Asuka was crawling in the air ducts towards NERV in-between Rei and Shinji when she realized something, "Shinji, you hentai. Don't you dare look forward."
Shinji, however, did so that exact minute, "Nice thong."
Asuka kicked him in the face repeatedly.
---------------------Again--------------------
Asuka was crawling in the air ducts towards NERV in-between Rei and Shinji when she realized something and began to panic, "Shinji, you hentai. Don't you dare look forward."
Shinji wiped his nose clean, shrugged as best as he could in the confined space, but couldn't keep his mouth shut, "Why? It's not like you're even wearing a thong?"
That was the wrong answer, she had been in a rush that morning and her alone time was cut short, so she kicked him in the face and continued to ignore the draft beneath her skirt.
--------------------Last one--------------------
Asuka was crawling in the air ducts towards NERV in-between Rei and Shinji when she realized something, "Shinji, you hentai. Don't you dare look forward."
Shinji, however, had already done so and couldn't keep his mouth shut, "So, you wear Hello Kitty panties, who cares?"
Asuka kicked him in the face repeatedly.
Rei spoke up at the sound of carnage, "I do not understand the importance of seeing a girl's panties."
"See, it's not a big deal," Shinji tried to defend himself, but Rei wasn't finished.
"I don't even wear any."
"Um, Asuka. I don't suppose you'll trade places with me?"
Crack Asuka broke Shinji's nose with the heel of her foot.
This is stupid
What if Shinji was a wizard that was apprenticed and graduated early at fifteen, only to be called back home by his bastard of a father?
BlahBlahBlah Shinji has a happy childhood with harry, learns magic, harry leaves, Shinji tortures Gendo frequently while obliviating memories, Shinji pranks the heck out of everyone and they can't catch him, he resurrects the evas souls, and apparatus to SEELE and imperios them to obey his every command, and Shinji creates a massive harem with and philosopher's stone for all of eternity, the end.
Sorry for the last bit, review if you want.