Author's Notes: … Yeah, I promised last chapter not to leave this too long. Well as we can see that blew up in my face. As they say, you will have that. Skipping a long and drawn out part where Nida talks to Seifer and Ellone about his history and all. Really, it's not all vital and can easily be done in companion pieces. And I'm in a bad mood, which means I have to take it out on Nida. Nida: My Stress Relief.

Chapter 6: Bravado

"…And that is everything," Nida said, looking down at the hands folded in his lap. His whole body was quaking. It was bad enough to have lived through it all once. It was hard enough to dream of bits and pieces, namely of the other asian's eyes. But nothing was harder than having to relive every moment of every encounter that he could remember in the best details he could manage. And when one dealt with Rei, there weren't details that you forgot.

Seifer sat there, silent and frowning. Ellone was looking away from Nida, unable to believe half of what she had heard, but hardly believing he would lie to them. He'd had so much pain and suffering, and now Nida had to watch as others died because he hadn't just given up years before. Had to watch as his own lover's life was put on the line because he had failed to kill a man who had tormented him for so long. The fact that the man before them was reasonably sane was probably a miracle, all things considered. But there was nothing they could do about that right now. Right now the concern was with Squall, and what would happen to him.

"Nomura…" Seifer finally said, breaking the silence the trio had been sharing, "Right now we need to know what Rei would do to Squall… Where he might be… How he might contact you…"

"You don't seem to get my point Seifer," the asian man sighed, rubbing his temples. "There is no way to know where and when and what. Because, the truth of the matter is that right now he's holding all of the cards but one. He knows where and how and what, and controls every variable in the problem, hell, in a one mile radius of where ever he has Squall. He's only going to give us maybe thirty minutes to get where he wants us to be…"

To this the detective rolled his eyes. He'd been around criminals for far longer than this little business man, had lives depending on his decisions and had never once failed in what he set out to do. So who was this man before him to dare to question this? There was no criminal out there that could top him, especially when it was a friend on the line. Even a friend like Squall.

"Don't worry, we'll be ready Nomura. We're going to get this bastard and put him behind bars forever."

It took a bit of effort to keep a smile and a sense of reassurance around himself, but Nida was pretty sure he pulled it off well. Both Seifer and Ellone seemed to relax at the idea that Nida trusted them in this, but truth was that he was tense. This wasn't some sort of thing that they could do anything about, as much as they wanted to. It was time that he finally stopped running, time to take control. They couldn't understand.

"Nida, we need to know how he would contact you," Ellone said. "We have to know Nida. For Squall's sake."

He sighed, how could he not? They were expecting more than he could really give. "Rei knows more about me than you do. He knows everything there is to know and there is probably no one that knows where he has been since California. Predicting him is near impossible. But, forced to guess… He'd know my phone numbers: home, cell, work. All of them. A message delivered that way, but short, really short. He doesn't want to give you much information. This isn't about you, it's about me after all."

"I'll have someone check your phones," Seifer said, cut off moments later when Nida shook his head. Amazing how much authority went into a simple gesture when the asian wanted it.

"I have to go home first. He won't say anything if I'm still here. He needs to know that I'm doing this of my own free will. Please just understand that Seifer. He is in control. I will be the only wild card, the only thing that he can't completely control. He doesn't know what to think, understand? I fought BACK last time. I almost KILLED him. For the same man that is in question here. So he's worried about what I might do. I'm the reason we can be sure that Squall will be okay. But if he thinks for a moment that you planned what I'm going to do, then Squall's life is in danger. Got it?"

Both nodded to Nida, but only Ellone really seemed to accept it. Seifer still wasn't ready to put the life of an innocent into the hands of a man who had been suspected of being a serial killer. But there was no choice. This… this was why he wasn't supposed to get attached, to avoid this. Could they not see that he had to fix it? He had to stop running.

"Now, if you don't mind Detective Almasy," Nida spoke, breaking the silence that had been created in the wake of his orders. "I would like to go home and shower. Maybe get some real food in me once and deal with the bruises provided by my wonderful escorting officers."

The blonde gestured vaguely to the door. "Officer Dincht will get you your things."

His smile was half-hearted, and all to convince Ellone that everything would be okay. "Don't worry Ellone. I will help you get Squall back, if it is the last thing I ever do."

Her own smile was just as weak as he slipped from the room. Something in her though… something said that it might just be the last thing Nida ever did…

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The moment the door closed behind him, the lock clicking in place, Nida knew he could never live in his apartment again. While the most general efforts had been made to clean the place after the battle that had taken place there, the memories remained. They always did and always would. There, where the sword cases were on the wall, he'd been pinned with a gun, dark word had been whispered in his ear by a murderer. In his living room, where there was once a view of the city through huge windows… he'd almost sent a man to his death. And now Nida was wishing he had. For Squall's sake he wished he had.

Things had not gotten easier once he had left the station downtown. Speaking with Seifer and Ellone had solidified one thing in his mind. Everything he'd been through with Rei was in the open now. He'd seen their pity, their disgust, their horror. Did they not get it? That he was to blame for this? That Rei was his responsibility? If he'd only given in all those years ago, maybe those boys would still be alive. Families would not need closure for deaths, except maybe his own. And that, of course, brought his thoughts to his mother and father. He'd lost so much to Rei, including them.

Amazingly, the bathroom had hardly been touched. So far as Nida knew, Rei had not set foot in the room, and neither had the police. The crimson tiles were still flawless, and the water was hot as he took his first real chance to get clean. Yet, no matter how much he scrubbed he never felt clean. Couldn't get clean even when his skin was pink and raw and probably close to bleeding. Just couldn't get clean no matter what he did. Had Rei stood just outside of the bathroom, watching him shower through the near transparent shower curtain?

It had been this kind of paranoia that had taken Nida from the last few cities, from his other homes and lives. That had kept him from speaking to his family, from making friends, from allowing himself relationships. When had it changed? When had he grown comfortable, grown SURE that he'd be safe this time? That he could finally settle down and be happy? What kind of fool was he anyway? He had not right to be happy obviously, and no right to drag Squall into all of this.

A thick and fluffy red towel was wrapped around his waist as Nida shut the shower off. No point in trying to scald himself just yet. If he wasn't his fullest, if he couldn't stand from being so weak, how could he ever help Squall? Squall had been… No, Squall was so amazing. It had been so long since Nida had given up on himself, but Squall, he'd been there. Picked him up when he fell, kissed away tears from nightmares Nida wouldn't admit to having. He was tender and kind and gentle, everything Nida had wanted from Rei when he was younger. Everything he had always needed and never gotten. Squall was why. He was the reason that Nida had gotten lax over the years, why he'd finally been willing to risk things, risk staying still again. And what had Squall gotten for his troubles?

Soon the towel was abandoned on the bathroom floor and Nida moved out of the bathroom. Dark jeans and an even darker turtle-neck were taken from their places in his dresser as the asian strained to keep his eyes from the bed. That, that was something he hadn't told the detectives. How Rei had lain on his bed and watched him change, the gun pointed at him the whole time. How those eyes dancing over his body had made him tremble and feel like that week little kid Rei had bound to his own bed all those years ago. Never again would Nida be able to sleep in this room, or feel safe there. Never. So he merely pulled on the thick clothes as fast as he could before retreating to the only haven left in the whole of his 'home'. Not that he could call it home anymore. A home was an idea, of safety, of comfort, of happiness. There was none of that now.

There was one room he had always felt comfortable in. Originally it had been the second bedroom of the two bedroom apartment, but Nida had converted it to his needs. Bookshelves lined the walls and an artificial fireplace was against one wall, candles on the hearth instead of electric logs. A comfortable, plush couch-bed faced that fireplace, a lamp on one side resting upon an old end table. In another corner was his desk, piled with business work that he should have dealt with days ago, and would have if not for Rei. Here, amid the smell of old books and the freshly lit candles, here in the dim lights and curled up on the soft couch he could breathe. Breathe like he could no where else. For a few minutes the tension melted away, and all there was for him was the light of the candles dancing about the room and the utter silence.

Everything was good until a sound cut through that little bit of peace Nida was allowing himself. The ringing of his home phone, once, twice, thrice before the machine turned on. And slowly the voice of the killer came from the answering machine. Rei's voice. It filled the room and Nida could see the flames of the candles wane a little with the sound.

"Nida… I know you're listening my love, even if you aren't ready to talk. That is okay, we can talk later. Midnight actually. I texted the address to you. See you then… And don't forget the ring, my precious one."

Nida couldn't help but tremble when the machine beeped and turned off. So Rei was going to play that trick? Take even more from him? Figured. It really did. When Rei was around to drudge up the past he sure did it quite well. Or quite poorly, depending upon your opinions of the matter at hand.

Back in their childhood they'd had this secret way of communicating what they wanted. Nida had used it more than Rei, but it had been their way alone. Words were well and good, but Nida had always had an easier time expressing himself to Rei on paper than aloud. Maybe it was the fear of being judged. Maybe it was fear that word might get back to his parents. Or maybe it was just that saying some things out loud made them more real. Like now.

Well, long story short, it had been their way of communicating in a bit more secret. One would leave clues in spoken word about where a note would have been hidden. Sometimes it was in a movie, or a game box, or in this case a book. Nida had used the method far more than Rei, but Rei had been far better at sneaking the notes where they needed to be, and disguising the clues. But Rei had been rather blunt this time. Ring. Precious. One… The first edition collection of the Lord of the Rings that his father had bought him as a high school graduation present. Rei knew just how precious that collection was to Nida, and to think that he had gotten close enough to slip a note into the pages…

The slender asian rose from the couch and made his way to one of the many bookshelves lining the walls. He knew exactly where the books were of course, they were the favorites of his library after all, and though he used cheaper paper-back copies when reading casually, he had enjoyed just pulling them off the shelves and inhaling the smell of the bindings. But this time there would be no pleasure in the smell or the feel of the old books, and there probably wouldn't be ever again. He flipped through one, then another, before finally opening the second book of the trilogy and watching a plain envelope flutter to the floor. For a while all he could do was stare down at it, at his name written on it in smooth and elegant cursive, something Rei had not been known for. The Rei he had known, the Rei he had mistakenly loved, had handwriting one could only call chicken scratch. This… really didn't seem like something that Rei could have written. And yet… There it was, just where the man had said it would be.

Nida moved to the desk now, pulling out a small letter opener and cutting open the envelope. Once it was open he pulled out the three pages of neatly penned missive. Even there the beautiful writing continued, and yet from the very first word Nida was sure that this was in fact written by the man he had come to loath more than anything else in the world. He got no further than three sentences in before he found himself unable to stand and plopped down in the wingback chair.

To My Dearest Nida,

I know what the first thing passing through your mind must be, but let me assure you that everything will turn out alright my love. Things are in motion that we are powerless to stop, for Fate herself is working to bring us back together. And she shall take away anything that stands before our happiness, that little whore included.

Oh yes, I know what you must be thinking my love. How could I be so cruel, how could I have done what I have done, is the little whore safe, and will we be able to be together again. All questions will be answered in time my love, but I feel that some answers can be given now.

It may not seem like much when it is written out on paper like this, but I am truly sorry for what happened all those years ago. I was young, and a fool, and unable to see just how much we loved each other. Nothing I can say will make up for what I've put you through over all of these years Nida, nothing. Except maybe this… I love you Nida, and I will do whatever it takes to get you to love me again. I've driven you away from so much, and I'm sorry.

I still don't know what possessed me to do that to you that day, or what has caused me to follow you ever since, but I'm working Nida, I'm working hard to control it. I know I need to practice more, because I find myself sneaking into your home more and more often to watch you with him, but can I be blamed? You are so beautiful my love, and I will not lose you to him. I can see it in your body when you are with him. Yes you make love to him, but you think of me the whole time don't you? Does it take all your self control to say his name and not mine? Don't worry my love, soon the lie that is your love for him will be gone as well, and everything will be okay.

So I must see you love. There is an abandoned warehouse near the docks. Come there before midnight and tomorrow we shall begin our lives anew… Begin our lives together.

Forever yours, Rei Yamamoto.

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Midnight had come and gone by Seifer's watch, and the man was obviously not happy with that. There was no sign of Rei, or Nida, or Squall. In fact, the whole area seemed quiet. There was nothing at all happening in the old abandoned house where Rei had summoned Nida. Nothing at all. If you wanted to get clichéd on him, you'd say that not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. Hell, even the rats seemed to be waiting with baited breath. What for no one could tell.

"Damnit Elle, I bet that bastard skipped town on us," the blonde hissed, foot tapping impatiently.

"He wouldn't do that Seifer. Not to Squall. I can tell."

"People lie Ellone," the detective shot back. "You'd think that in our line of work you'd have learned that by now."

The brunette smiled softly, "Right from the beginning he told us the truth about anything involving Squall. Really, I don't think he is the kind to turn tail and run at a time like this. Yes, maybe he did so in the past, but never, ever with Squall. Wherever Squall is now, be sure that Nida is with him."

Of course, all of Ellone's faith could have come at a better time. Because mere moments after she spoke a call came across the radio of their car. A call soon punctuated by a resounding 'boom' and the brilliance of an explosion not a mile away.