Trapdoor (Part 15)

by anza (06.12.05)

He had forgotten all about it.

It wasn't until they had taken the first train out of the suburbs he was reminded, suddenly, like the jolt-jump of the train. Kadaj gave a sigh and let his head fall onto his older brother's shoulder. Cloud was almost startled out of his seat, but then he looked down and saw Kadaj was already asleep, head bouncing in time to the bump of the train tracks, and forced himself to relax.

A matter of corny train scenes from the romance novels he kept stashed under his bed ran through Cloud's head. Viciously, he popped each one with masochistic glee. This was REALLY not the time.

He knew where they were going. They were headed towards the ocean - not the beach ten minutes away from their house, but further north, as far north as they could go. Already he imagined Kadaj, shivering under the yawning pillars of Nibelheim's train station, and his own apologetic form, running up, impatiently tugging a thick coat onto his brother's shoulders. Like a fussing mother, he would be saying things, nonsense, tumbling out of his mouth like a fountain, unable to meet Kadaj's clear, piercing green eyes. He was afraid - yes, he was afraid. Afraid, now that they were alone. They had left Yazoo and Loz and all of Midgar behind. He had left his job, his house, and most of his money. And Kadaj was there, next to him, slumbering peacefully.

The train was taking them somewhere, taking them far into the black, bottomless future that he couldn't discern. He was afraid for Kadaj and for him, for their survival. This fear, it reminded him of the trapdoor that opened so unexpectedly under his feet.

His heart beat fast in anticipation, though. Finally away from Shin-Ra Company's endless company rules, red tape at every turn, mindless grunts that didn't know how to do anything, and most of all, the Turks, he was free. And he was glad he had pulled Kadaj free. Perhaps now, he could show Kadaj some of the things in life that really mattered - the taste of the wind in his face, the quiet glow of the moon in the teacup as the clock ticked steadily, the heat of two that had abandoned the real world for a divergent one that floated above any pleasure one could experience alone...

Unwittingly his hand tightened around Kadaj's shoulder, and the teenager shifted. Ten years. Ten years younger.

----------

They arrived at Costa Del Sol soon enough. The train stopped to refuel for a full half-day, so Cloud shook his sleepy brother awake and the two of them located, moved, and dumped their luggage at a nearby hotel for the night. Still half-asleep, Kadaj moaned when he heard the train left the next morning at six. Cloud only tightened his grip on his brother's hand as they maneuvered through the crowds. Costa Del Sol was a resort town, and in his responsible!nii-san mind, that was tantamount to a pleasure town.

He hoped Yazoo remembered to leave early so he could attend lecture the next day.

But as he moved through the crowds, he frowned, and it wasn't because of Kadaj or Yazoo. He was remembering seven years ago, even before any of the brothers entered his life, back when someone still commanded him like a grunt, back when Vincent had swept into his life like a bloody dream straight out of hell, the color of their passion, the color of slashed wrists and devilish laughter. Still now, Cloud wasn't sure how he survived - his time with Vincent seemed a splash of color and noiseless video recordings that automatically shredded themselves after they played themselves in their mind. He remembered clinging to that arm as it dragged him through the crowd, and remembered when he looked up into those eyes, they promised him the darkest, deepest secrets of the world. It had been frantic, as if every moment had been treasured for its ability to be wasted. With Vincent, Cloud had thrown his arms to the buffetting winds at the top of a cliff and screamed his lover's name to the whole visible universe of diamond-studded sky. With Vincent, he had braved Reeve and Rufus and Sephiroth with a thinly veiled rebellion that thrummed under his skin like the latest hallucinogen. With Vincent, he had gone abso-fucking-lutely crazy.

Looking at Kadaj, asleep once more on his shoulder, he almost laughed to think how much he hadn't changed.

He dragged the two of them to the nearest cafe, ordered five cappuccinos and two slices of cheesecake. It was past lunch and they hadn't eaten on the meal compartment, but something sweet would perk both of them faster than anything else they could eat. It was Kadaj's first time at Costa Del Sol, and Cloud wanted to rush him through the best before they left again.

"Nii-san?" Kadaj's voice was lower with just-awakened huskiness. In an impulsive jolt of emotion, Cloud wanted to jump him right there, in the middle of the cafe, where he would kiss his brother-lust-interest senseless and probably be charged with fifty different pedophilia charges. "Nii-san," came that voice again, "are you listening?"

Cloud forcefully bent his thoughts away. "Yeah." His voice was not nervous.

"You're blushing."

"Yeah, well..." Suddenly he was remembering again. He and Vincent, in Costa Del Sol, and they had watched a play after dinner. Cloud had fallen asleep slouched in his chair, and when he awoke again, he wasn't at the hotel or the third balcony seat he last remembered. Disoriented, he sat up, but couldn't see anything but when he reached out, he realized he was lying on something lacy, and that something equally lacy was hanging to both sides of him. He was confused and as ready as hell to take down whoever was stupid enough to kidnap a Shin-Ra Company employee when a light waved in the darkness - Vincent, a swirling black cloak around his shoulders and the tallest top hat he'd seen in his life perched like some horrendous black bird on his head.

Cloud had looked down. He was wearing nothing but a flimsy nightgown. A flimsy girl's nightgown.

"Oh hell no..."

Vincent's lips quirked at his disbelief. "Do you remember anything from the play at all?" That voice, so smooth and so even, so calm even in amusement that Cloud found himself shivering from nothing.

"N-no..."

Vincent tossed the cloak aside. "We're behind the curtains, right on stage, Cloud." He leaned closer. "They're watching, though you can't see them. Don't you want to give them a show?"

Cloud shivered again, the tremble running from his shoulders and into the satin sheets. And then Vincent's mouth met his, and he was recognizing the story, completely unlike the chastity of the play -

"Nii-san!" Kadaj was cranky with three cappuccinos boiling in his stomach.

"Yeah, yeah..." Cloud ran a hand through his hair self-consciously. "Sorry. Lost in thought."

"I can see that." Kadaj's voice was even sharper than those on post-all-nighter mornings. "Care to enlighten me where we're going?"

"Well I was thinking -" Cloud was interrupted by a rather jarring crash behind Kadaj. As both of them turned to look, a man had overturned a table and was now shouting at the top of his lungs at a girl Cloud determined (from the slew of profanity and drunken slurs issuing from his mouth) to be his girlfriend. The other patrons grumbled, especially those whose coffee was now being delightfully enjoyed by the ground. Scowling, Cloud decided it was better if they left, and he motioned Kadaj finish the last cappuccino and bite of cheesecake before they had to fill out police eyewitness forms. He wasn't sure their fake IDs would pass inspection.

He had just patted his pocket to make sure his wallet was there when there came a very familiar click. Electricity raced through his limbs, and he wasted no time in even checking who the hell had a gun before he slid over the table, grabbed Kadaj, and threw both of them below the table before all hell broke loose.

There was a scream, cut off suddenly, and then mass exodus of the store. Kadaj gave a jump as the woman (the girlfriend?) stopped screaming, followed by an echoing thud. From the little square of vision their vantage point provided, Cloud watched in horror as a blood slowly crept into his vision, running easily over the wooden floorboards. As one part of his mind said, Dammit, now we really won't be able to get out of filing an eyewitness report, the other part of his mind was saying, Dammit, guess we don't even have to enter the Turks to see this sort of action. Several agonizing heartbeats passed, where he held Kadaj's face to his shoulder, feeling his brother shake. His grip was so tight it was almost like -

- abruptly their shelter overturned. Cloud froze; the drunk man was standing there, blinking stupidly down at them. All at once he leaned down to get a better look at who was there as Cloud shoved Kadaj behind him, squeezing him as tight as he could into the corner farthest away from the attacker. He had a gun, a shiny black, impersonal weapon he knew very well how to use, but he would rather not blow his cover the first night out of Midgar.

Kadaj was breathing hard behind him, and Cloud could almost see those green eyes peering just over his shoulder, so frightened that white could be seen all around the pupils.

I will protect him!

The drunk man smiled. Cloud could see clearly now that the girlfriend, and several others, were all dead. The cashier and the waitresses were all huddled behind the bar. There were no other patrons in the store except for them. Abruptly his attention was jerked back to the man standing in front of him, who had raised his gun. Cloud's heart pounded in his ears, and all at once he began to pray, pray harder than he had in his entire life, that Kadaj would have enough sense to fish the hotel keys out of his pocket, make a run for it, and discover the list of addresses in his guitar case. That way, he could get off the continent, Cloud was sure of it...

"Pretty face," the drunk man slurred. With his gun, he laid it parallel to Cloud's face, the tip of the barrel touching his temple, slowly stroking down his cheek, ending at his chin. The line of chilliness burned with hysterical danger. Cloud was sure the entire world could smell his fear now. Words babbled in his heads, half-formed regrets, but all of them too frantic and too fleeting for him to make sense of any of them. "Such a pretty face," the man continued. "You sure you're a guy?"

Behind him, Cloud heard a shuddered whimper of, "Nii-san..."

I will protect you... His hand closed around the grip of the gun, feeling the metal fit in his grip like...well, like an old lover.

But he didn't have a chance to take it out, or even fire it, because a moment later the drunk guy was flung back with a yell into the bar. There came a sickening crack as his had hit the marble tabletop, and then he slumped over, eyes half-lidded. A splatter of blood dripped, forming a puddle on the floor. Cloud looked up at his savior, and blinked.

He was young, well-built and most of all, good-looking. A childish face, framed with gray-black spikes, and warm brown eyes stared down at him. Cloud blinked again, as if he hadn't quite seen pretty men before, and then blinked again when the stranger offered his hand to him.

"Here." Hesitantly Cloud put his hand in his, and the stranger pulled him up. Turning, he helped Kadaj sit on one of the still-upright chairs, and brushed himself off. The adrenaline was flowing out of him, the heightened rush that fear brought slowing, and he found himself looking again at the stranger. Such warm brown eyes, it reminded Cloud of someone, but now that he and Kadaj weren't in immediate danger, his brain couldn't think of how to get him and Kadaj out of there before the police arrived.

There came the whine of sirens in the distance. Cloud tugged Kadaj upright as the cafe/bar's employees came out of hiding. The stranger was smiling, an expression that looked surprisingly in place even in such a situation.

"Thanks." Cloud made sure he met the other's eyes for a full half minute, showing his gratitude. After all, it was because of this man that he didn't have to blow his cover.

"Hey, no prob." That smile on the other's face was so easy, so relaxed even after he'd just taken down a threatening drunk waving a gun around! "The name's Zack Darklighter." And Cloud swore that grin just got wider.

Something in him was still wary, but as he reached out his hand to shake Zack's firmly, he felt slightly relaxed since the beginning of the trip.

Slightly. It just wasn't natural for people to grin all the time, after all. As he and Kadaj rounded the corner out of the shop, he wondered idly if Zack grinned in his sleep too.