Trapdoor (Part 16)

by anza (06.12.05)

It is a whirlwind, sinking into the ground, but without sound. Only feelings in the air, hovering, spinning, twirling gracefully like dandelion seeds, like flower petals, like the ocean spray. Cloud is not a dreamer because he never allowed himself to be. All his life, there were only things that he had to do, things he had to accomplish, things in the path set out for him that he had to overcome. He overcame them with hard work and luck. Sometimes he went at them softly, picking apart each knot methodically, straightening each thread, laying them neatly into rows where everyone could see his work. Other times he cut them apart with swords, and let people see the silent, focused predator inside of him. Not vengeful. Not vain. Just highly capable.

It was in this manner that he made his way to the top, and once he was there he looked around and didn't see Vincent, he floundered.

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The two of them were perched on the cliff where Cloud had once defiantly screamed Vincent's name to the sky. It was sunset, red and heated, but the sea wind cut through their clothes like paper. Still, the biting cold invigorated Cloud; he was feeling it, like the first of many emotions to penetrate a baby's memory. He wasn't a workaholic anymore under another person, he wasn't escaping work once he hit the highest position in his department. He was Cloud Strife, alias Rowe Christopher, enjoying an unplanned and very welcome vacation for eleven hours in Costa Del Sol.

All at once, he felt like striking a "macho!" pose, just to make people sweatdrop. He was Cloud now, after all - not a fussy, stuck up executive - Cloud, who had lived his childhood as a Turk before being unceremoniously and belatedly shoved into the world of children. He had never recovered. He had thought when they played "Turks and police", they meant the Turks really had to kill the police. He didn't believe the police would win against the cunning, foxlike Turks.

Kadaj was huddled on the edge, arms tight around his legs to conserve what little body heat he had. "Can we go now," he grumbled, and Cloud distinctly heard his chattering teeth.

"Yeah," he murmured, and they slung their arms around each other on their way back to town. Cloud's mind was still contemplating his freedom to notice how irresistibly close they were.

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They had just sat down at a nice out-of-the-way diner overlooking the beach when Cloud was bowled over by something - someone - squeezing him so tight he couldn't breathe. He gagged, floundered for several moments, before his fingers found the grip that had him trapped, and tugged fruitlessly.

Cloud thought his hair couldn't look any worse than it did, constantly standing on end. A minute and a noogie (he hadn't had a noogie since he was four! He didn't even remember who had noogied him, just that he didn't enjoy it!) later, he looked into the mirror of the men's restroom and decided he stood corrected. Somehow his hair looked as if a chocobo had made a nest in it and had now left. Straightening out his spikes as best he could, he looked up as his savior-turned-tormentor spun him around, arms spread in what could only be a welcoming fashion.

Cloud was done with welcomes for the night, thankyouverymuch.

"Rowe!" Zack was still grinning. Cloud decided there was an eighty-five percent chance he grinned in his sleep too. "Rowe, my man! Howzit going?" He slapped Cloud friendly on the back. The ex-executive in question almost cracked his head against the mirror, there was so much force in that gesture! Now he understood how that drunk guy had been tossed so effortlessly into the bar.

"Alright, I guess." It would be better if you hadn't treated me like a kid and hadn't attempted to strangle me, he added privately.

"Met your companion out there. Quiet sort, ain't he?" Inwardly Cloud stifled a laugh. He's only quiet until you get to know him, and then you'll be begging him to stop talking, he thought.

His smile at the thought of Kadaj didn't go unnoticed by his companion. "Ya like him?" Zack's eyes were warm, teasing, and meant no harm, but Cloud still - still itched under his skin. Something was off, and as gregarious as Zack was, warning bells went off in Cloud's head every time he came close.

"Like Kane?" Cloud's smile widened in response to Zack's own. His insides had frozen themselves somewhere around "Howzit going?". Now everything he was saying was calculated, weighed, cautious. "Of course I like him. He's my good friend."

Zack raised an eyebrow. "An old geezer like you with a teenage friend? Excuse me if that doesn't lean the wrong way." Cloud chuckled as Zack impishly wiggled his eyebrows. "Sounds more like friendship to me, eh Cloud?"

Cloud smiled generously. Something about this man was really off. He had met this man twice within five hours. Costa Del Sol was not a small town. He would be more careful. Though Zack's demeanor was unassuming and friendly, coincidences happened very rarely in such a large world.

"You're imagining things, Zack." His smile had molded itself to his face.

He avoided questions as much as he could, and turned down an invitation to sit with Zack (who, afterwards, sat alone in the corner, looking as occupied as he could, so bored Cloud almost took back his answer) during dinner. When he returned finally to the table, he heaved a sigh of relief that made Kadaj look at him closer than usual.

Cloud shrugged the concerned gaze off with a tired smile. "All in a day's work," he said as a way of explanation. His brother reached over, placing one hand over Cloud's. The oldest almost stiffened, but caught himself before he could. Slowly, Kadaj ran one thumb over the smooth ridges of his knuckles. The contact was so innocent, yet so telling. Cloud was so sure his heart was suddenly shining in his eyes, his desire and his patience a rubber band that stretched and stretched into uncertainty. The split-second hesitation before he did something stupid hung pregnant in the air, and then Cloud reached up and patted Kadaj's hand with his other one. He was comforted by Kadaj's gesture, but now it had to stop. The moment and the idea spluttered, gutted, and blew out.

It's for the better, Cloud told himself fiercely. He wondered how he was going to hold off for the rest of the trip.

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Author's Notes: I truly apologize for the long update. I actually had this chapter up for, oh, ten minutes before I realized the italics weren't in, and went back to do it. By then, of course, it was time for class and I had to wait until I went home to do it - in which I promptly forgot. So again, thank you all for sticking with this so far, I love all of your comments (though I'm not really one for answering them one by one), but know I'm thinking of you when I write this fic. Love and toodles, anza.