Trapdoor (Part 22)

by anza (17.12.05)

Cloud was a blur of movement in the living room. The sofas and the table had all been pushed or leaned against the surrounding walls, and he was practicing there in the middle. His left fist shot out, his entire body following that movement into the next position, and then the next, and the next. He thought about nothing but the perfection of each kata, one flowing into the next. In some of his more poetic moments he likened the sensation to that of stretching his mind as well as his body to their limits. With the precise control of each outstretched hand, each kick, each maneuver, it was as if his mind was trickling down into each cell in his body. The rawness of the exercise was exhilarating, and channeled all of his frustrations into one single point of concentration.

He was so lost in it he reacted instinctively when he felt someone else enter his makeshift practice area. Lashing out with one foot, the intruder caught it and let go after a tense moment. Cloud turned, and saw it was Zack.

His new boss tilted his head and gave him a look. "I must say," he began conversationally, "when I let you push all the furniture to the walls, this wasn't exactly what I was expecting." But even with the condescending undertone of those words, his eyes and his smile betrayed his amusement.

For a moment Cloud was confused. "Why else would I push all the furniture to the walls?"

Zack shrugged. "Invite me for a game of Twister?"

Cloud gave a long stare at the other before he threw up his hands and huffed. Zack unsuccessfully suppressed a snicker and helped Cloud push the furniture back to their original places. While Zack babbled in the background about how he should vacuum and wouldn't it be nice if Cloud helped, Cloud pondered how people like Zack passed kindergarten and then went on to become responsible adults. Emphasis on the responsible.

It was Saturday, the first weekend since he and Kadaj arrived. True to Zack and various other now-coworkers' impressions, it had been a good thing the last sales manager died, as he had been seventy, senile, and useless without his secretary. His secretary, unfortunately, had been recently fired for embezzling funds. So basically, Cloud had to start from square one on understanding just what was expected of him.

Now, up to his eyeballs in paperwork he didn't understand, he had planned to spend the entire weekend hammering out the fine details to an actual plan to "branch out" SOLDIER Jeans Co.'s products. He had been thinking strictly short and jean skirts - others had thought of jean journals and binders and similar stationary products, but Cloud rather thought it would challenging enough to create shorts and skirts, given he was completely green at the whole industry.

Unfortunately, Zack clearly had a different definition of "productive" than Cloud had.

"No, no," he was heard muttering as Cloud scanned yesterday's stock reports with a frown on his face. Kadaj dove facefirst into his cereal and was only rescued when Zack yanked his head back up. He had spent all of Christmas Eve and Day filing correct reports into their respective drawers. Before everything else, Cloud knew he had to clear up the confusion on just how much the secretary embezzled. The hearing was set for sometime next year; Cloud filed the date into the back of his mind, trusting himself to remember when the time came. Cloud had stayed up equally late on Christmas Eve and Day, but he was far more used to pulling all-nighters at work when Tax Day, bimonthy checks from other departments, discussions with Scarlet, Reeve, Rufus, or all three took them far into the morning so that sometimes they bunked down right there in their offices on empty stomachs.

Cloud could admit to himself that he terribly missed Yazoo and Loz and all of gray, sleet-covered, overcast Midgar in all its drab depression. That was why he welcomed the chance to work nonstop, even through a holiday as important as Christmas.

But it seemed Zack had other ideas. "ARGH," he threw up his hands in frustration, and leveled a glare at Cloud. "Can't you two do anything but work?" Cloud considered pointing out Kadaj was indeed NOT working, but asleep and drooling quite happily on the kitchen table, and then thought better of it after seeing Zack's fuming face. He turned his attention back to the television on the countertop - and then found himself staring straight into Zack's bright eyes. Kadaj slept blissfully on.

Was Zack pouting?

"We're going out," Zack announced after a moment, and jerked Kadaj upright. Pushing them both back into their rooms ("Hey, wait, I'm not done with my cereal yet!" Cloud privately wondered if his brother COULD finish his cereal half-asleep, and squashed a particularly vicious train of thought that commented it would be rather funny to see Kadaj try), he yelled into the door, "And be dressed for cold weather!"

Cloud stared at the smooth grain of the door for a moment before changing into a pair of thick pants and several sweaters. Yawning widely, Kadaj did the same, stumbling halfway across the room to his own set of drawers. Pulling out a pair of SOLDIERs as Cloud watched, Kadaj blinked sleepily through his dwindling number of shirts before choosing a red one, along with a thick wool zip-up. "What're we doing again?"

"I'm gonna show you the best Nibelheim has to offer," came Zack's muffled shout through the door.

Cloud glanced out the window where snowflakes were still falling steadily and in increasing amounts. Can't we see the best of Nibelheim from our window? he thought sarcastically, and bit back a yawn himself.

----------

"It's alright," Zack coaxed.

"It is NOT alright!" Cloud shot back. Between them, Kadaj watched their argument shuttle back and forth like a tennis match.

"We just won't order anything for him, alright? I can charm the bartender, just watch -"

"I don't want to watch!" yelped Cloud defensively. "And I especially don't want Kane to watch! For god's sake, Zack, he's nineteen and he's not legal yet!"

Zack laughed cheerfully, puffs of white issuing from his mouth with every shake. "Aww, don't spoil the fun for him!" Cloud caught a glimpse of Kadaj's hopeful green eyes and mentally groaned. "C'mon, you wanna go in, don't you, Kane?"

"Well, if Rowe doesn't want to -," Kadaj began with a sliding, more apprehensive look towards his brother.

"Nonsense! Rowe's just being a stick in the mud. Bend or break, you know." In an all-too-friendly manner, Zack slung an arm over the silver-haired teen's shoulders and began walking all three of them to the entrance. "Don't worry about it! I know the manager of this club. He'll let us in."

Heartbeat pounding his ears, Cloud tried his best to school his features into a blank look as Zack paid for the two of them and flashed a gold card at the man collecting money. He didn't even glance up from the cash register as he waved the three of them in. Once inside, Cloud immediately began sweating, as it was hot with all the writhing bodies on the dance floor. They stacked their coats at a table upstairs and a little ways back so the music didn't blare right into their ears, and then Zack went to get drinks. Kadaj's eyes were shining with excitement, but with an unspoken promise to keep his mouth shut of any secrets they were keeping.

"What do you think about Zack?" Kadaj had completely shaken off all drowsiness around noon, and now, at ten at night, he was wide awake. Like some nocturnal animal, Cloud thought with a smile.

"He can't be trusted," Cloud answered.

"He seems nice enough."

"Appearances are deceiving." He remembered Vincent, and how that abnormally quiet man at work changed into a predatorial prowler at night. In hindsight, he wondered how they had kept their relationship for so long. Vincent almost never kept partners for more than a few nights at a time. What had made Cloud so alluring? So different? Was it because Vincent couldn't have avoided him at work anyway?

"Drinks all around!" Zack returned with three drinks, one a tall blue one with an umbrella and two more ordinary-looking ones, one gold-tan and the other clear with bubbles. Kadaj took the Sprite without question or complaint, though he gave Zack's electric blue monstrosity several glances. Cloud gave a half-smile at Zack's drink of choice and sipped his whiskey wordlessly.

"Is it radioactive?" Kadaj finally asked. The three of them broke into chuckles.

They talked about this and that. Zack described (in further detail than before) the people Cloud had to work with, smiling all the while. When it came time for Cloud to reveal a little more of his and Kadaj's origins, he found he had fun making up stuff. Now, it was established Kane was the little brother of one of his former coworkers, a man named Severus Snape who liked to eat overripe oranges - until he died of food poisoning. He talked about Tifa and Vincent and Cid fondly, though with completely different names. He made no mention of Yazoo or Loz. After a while, as Kane stared at the dancers below with a half-yearning look, Cloud realized he had been talking for almost three-quarters of an hour.

He gave a surprised start and smiled. He didn't need to hide the genuity of it. "I've almost never talked so much in my life," he admitted. He traced the rim of his empty glass idly, embarrassed. "Something about you, Zack...it makes people open up so easily." Mentally he told himself he would be more aware next time, though in the course of his talk he carefully censored everything that might characteristic of Cloud Strife and his missing youngest brother.

Zack gave a fond smile in return. "It's good hearing you talk," he encouraged. "I thought you were a silent type...but once you get going, you don't clam up! It's good to get things out. I get the feeling you needed that, Rowe. That's why I invited us all here." Those bright eyes - Cloud felt all at once comforted and repelled by them. He wasn't sure why Zack stirred such conflicting sentiment in him, but it was unsettling he couldn't remember.

"I'm kinda antisocial."

Zack's eyes twinkled briefly. "I noticed."

"I'm not easy to get along with. I don't know how to act around people."

"You're doing real well so far." Zack's voice was so soft Cloud felt he could fall into the black velvet of it.

Sometime later, he awoke on the dance floor. Above, he met Kadaj's green eyes, staring over the side of the balcony. His body ached, but it ached even more for the throb of music streaming in his veins. Zack pulled him forward until they were so close Cloud could smell the other's cologne, sharp with sweat. Something fierce in him cried out then, and he threw himself into the mix of music, touch and now. He hadn't danced in so long - hadn't danced like this since Vincent, Vincent who had stolen him away and returned him right when he didn't expect it.

And now Zack, keen eyes hovering so seductively over him, hands appreciating every dip, every cleft that Vincent used to trace, Cloud fought to let loose that naive, powerful emotion of his younger days. Something raw and physical like the drip of sweat down his chin that morning. Something as powerful as feeling Zack's shoulderblades pressing against the palms of his hands, and then tracing the line of his spine, until he reached his waist and pressed them fast together, so close to dancing as one person...

Cloud was crying because he was feeling the world then, tingling at the end of his oversensitive fingertips, because something in him broke with the ecstasy around him, because there was something in Zack that made him want to forget all else. The trapdoor loomed like some forgotten fairy tale for a moment, but then it flitted away without a sound. Zack, his arms around him, their cheeks against each other's, their hands grasping, groping for each other, wondering if this was what they had spent all their lives searching for.

Cloud had never felt so close to knowing the answer.

He didn't know he was crying, because Zack was there, lips tracing the liquid sadness, licking it away before it could ever touch the ground and cause him any unhappiness.

Cloud had never wanted a savior more than he did in that frenzied night.

---------

Author's notes:

After seeing how many reviews I've gotten, I figured it was about time for a real author's note. I used to post these almost every chapter (as you can see in some of my older fics), but I gave up on those, as they seemed conceited of me to presume anyone would want to read them. However, seeing the spate of sincere encouragement, I guess I want to give a shout out to all the people who've stuck with this. I really, reallyappreciate it, it flatters me that people have called me a genius. It also flatters me that some people can't see where this is going - which is exactly what I was aiming for. I didn't think my writing properly conveyed that enough...but it seems, for you guys, you really like Trapdoor. It touches me and makes me blush, so many have taken the time to read and enjoy it like I wanted.

As for darksphire's question about a prequel - eh, I haven't seriously thought about that. After Trapdoor, I've planned/sorta written a sequel that goes more in depth about mafia, what they do and how they go about accumulating so much money. Admittedly, I had thought about a "three brothers" story, about their lives beforehand, and developing the Cloud-and-his-brothers dynamic, but...that's all up in the air for right now. It does seem a bit vague, the storyline - but it all straightens out, I promise.

As for Vincent and Cloud...ah, well, THAT is a story I might want to grapple with before any "Trapdoor from Kadaj's POV!" fics start appearing in my story box. I know it seems kind of random, since Vincent isn't in the story, and everything is from Cloud's POV, but... /whistles innocently/.

I'm kinda interested in hearing some of your predictions on what's going to happen next. Mostly, I'm interested in your predictions of "Who the hell is Zack and what is his connection to Cloud?", "What is Cloud going to do to get him and Kadaj away from the Turks?", "Is Zack really a Turk? And what is Cloud going to do about it if he is?", and finally, "Why did Vincent leave?"

Toodles, then, and I look forward to your predictions. /evil laughter/ I almost feel bad, because I know what's going to happen - but then, you guys will know too, soon enough.

--anza sumeragi (6.11.06)