Chapter 5: Training and Tears, Love Lust and Fear

((From the author: This is where things will start heating up. This chapter is going to be filled with jealousy, blood, lust, drug references, violence and an ass-load of cursing, please turn the little ones away from the screen. Also making his first appearance in this series: Lexaeus. enjoy))

Xemnas was looking through his paper work, sighing every now and then. He hated the necessity of all the shit he had to do. He was about to become annoyed when he herd a soft raping on the door, probably Saïx. "Come in" he called cheerily. Lexaeus walked in and Xemnas frowned. " Oh…yes what do you need? I'm terribly busy you know and nobodies coming in here ever minute to annoy me doesn't help progress it."

"Yes I know superior, I'll make it quick. I just wanted to let you know it was time for exams, that's all. I wanted to know if you planned on postponing them because of the new girl or…" he trailed off to allow Xemnas a chance to speak.

It had completely slipped his mind. Xemnas sighed heavily and waved a hand dismissively. " No we wont postpone, she's no weakling, I've seen her fight myself." Felt her was more like it. She had nearly broke his ribs when he first happened upon her. " Go fetch Xigbar and do me a favor. You two can organize the exams this year I have much too much work to be troubled with it myself." He waved his hand again, dismissing Lexaeus.

Lexaeus muttered a thank you and vanished to collect Xigbar, who was probably off jerking himself to the new playboy magazine. Lexaeus had spotted him with it earlier, giggling and trying to hide it.

Xemnas had just focused back on his work when there was another knock. " What is it? I'm busy!" Saïx crept in, smiling. " Oh, sorry, I was just dealing with some work" Xemnas muttered and shoved it away. He got to his feet and walked over to Saïx.

"Its okay, I know you're under a lot of stress" Saïx purred and rubbed Xemnas's shoulders. Xemnas gave a soft sigh of pleasure and Saïx muttered, " relax for a while. Too much stress isn't good for you."

…

Larxene shoved another handful of Cheese-It's in her mouth and glared at her hand. Nothing. " You have any Sixes," she asked glaring at Luxord.

"Go Fish" he replied with a grin.

"Who has the last damn six then?" she snapped at her partners. Her, Demyx, and Luxord had been playing an intense game of Go-Fish and some one was hiding the sixes from her. There was a sudden knock on the door.

The door opened and Marluxia breezed in. " How dare you guys play a game without inviting me? I'm hurt guys, I really am." It had been three weeks since the strip dice game. Everything had been pretty normal after that. Larxene had spent a good deal of time hanging out with Luxord and playing cards with him. The rest of her time had been divided three ways, listening to Demyx play sitar, eating Cheese-it's, and admiring Marluxia's garden.

"You know Marlu if I'm not with you or Demyx I'm probably here" she said. " Come on, pull up a chair, s'not to late to join."

Luxord grinned then chuckled "Your welcome to drop by when ever you want you know Marluxia. I positively adore your company. You know when ever Saïx is out I'm typically playing some game or another."

Marluxia suddenly looked as if he remembered something. " I just saw Saïx by the way" he said then giggled. " He was going down to Xemnas's office."

"He dose spend a vast majority of his time down there. Some times the mind wonders on what business takes them so long to conduct." he grinned and chuckled "of course I don't believe in spreading rumors."

"Oh and I also just saw Lexaeus too, I don't think you've met him yet Larxene" Marluxia said. He looked troubled and anxious at the same time. "He said were having our exams in three days, Larxene too."

"Once a year the whole Organization has to take physical exams" Demyx explained. " Only its done in the way of a single elimination tournament. Once…" He started to say more then stopped. The three boys exchanged uneasy glances, making Larxene mad. Demyx looked at Marluxia pleadingly but he shook his head. Demyx sighed then continued " Your not the first girl to ever be in the Organization Larxene. Once upon a time there were only nine of us, me being the tenth. Number nine had been a girl named Sailex. She was really mean all the time. She'd only been with us a few months when exams came up and… well…she got killed in the fighting. …Snapped her spine…it wasn't pretty."

Larxene felt the three of them staring at her as she rolled it over in her head. " Well that's her problem then isn't it? Luckily I'm not her." Larxene smiled, as if nothing they had told her mattered. To her it didn't. So what if some pansy girl got her spine snapped?

"Lar what if-" Marluxia began but Larxene held her hand up.

"Don't worry about it, I'm a lot tougher than I look you know. In fact I'm offended that you don't think I can hold my own. I'll show you all, come exam time I'll kick all your butts." And with that she stormed off.

…

A rather uninterested Axel matched as Marluxia paced back and forth, occasionally kneeling down to examine something. He had taken Larxene's advice and decided to spend more time with the other members of the Organization. Luxord and Marluxia had both volunteered their time. So Axel was spending the day watching Marluxia play gardener, not exactly thrilling. He was beginning to understand why she had suggested it, the other members were so boring he felt like he needed to talk just to make the silence go away.

"Why do you like flowers so much anyways?" he finally muttered, feeling an odd relief at hearing himself speak, as if he though he had forgotten how to.

Marluxia looked up from the place he had been kneeling by and smiled at him. "I don't know actually. It's just always been my thing. Why do you like fire so much?" Marluxia stood and brushed himself off.

"Your not supposed to answer a question with another question" Axel grunted, annoyed my Marluxia's choice of reply.

"What? Was it too complex for you inferior intelligence to grasp?" Marluxia said, trying his best to sound like Zexion. Then he began laughing and Axel realized he was chuckling too. He stood up and began walking away, punching Marluxia lightly on the shoulder as he was leaving. " Where are you going? You know I was just kidding right?"

"Like I'd be offended by anything you have to say flower boy. I was gonna go snag a soda or something, it so fucking hot out here."

Marluxia was a bit startled by Axel. He hard herd him use fuck more times in one sentence than he had said in all his life, Marluxia usually didn't curse unless he was very angry though. Axel just cursed as he pleased.

"It has to be for the flowers." Marluxia waved a hand to indicate the air. "If there's any Mountain Dew in the fridge could you snag me one" Marluxia asked as Axel was disappearing back into the castle.

"No" He called back.

…

Larxene smiled, immediately noticing the song as Demyx began playing it.

"She got a smile that seems to me reminds me of childhood memories where everything was as precious as the bright blue sky" he sang. Marluxia wasn't kidding, he did sing like an angel. Larxene aloud herself to be hypnotized by the Melodious Nocturne.

Only after the song ended she spoke. " So is that how you win in a fight? Hypnotize them with an angelic voice?"

Demyx laughed and said "something like that. Can't be telling you my battle strategy with the exam only a few days away." He smiled in that oddly enchanting way he always smiled and then got up." I think I'll go on and stop bothering you for now. I'm gonna harass Lexaeus a bit and see if he'll give out the tournament roster. It helps to know who you'll be fighting against, ya know." And with that he disappeared out the door.

Not seeing sitting around as being very productive Larxene got up and looked around for something else to do. Maybe She'd go interrogate Luxord to what happened to that missing six in the game yesterday.

…

Axel sat down again and handed Marluxia a Mountain Dew " Last one Mar. You owe me" He said and grinned savagely.

"Thank you Axel" he said politely and popped the can open and chugged it. Axel confused Marluxia. In his absence he had wondered about the Flurry of Dancing Flames. He was smart, but in a creepy way, and sometimes he'd act as bitter and hateful as Xaldin and within five minutes be as playful as Demyx. He made snide comments and pulled pranks on people yet he seemed nothing more than just want friends deep down.

Another thing Marluxia noted was that Axel never apologized for anything to anyone… except Larxene.

He finished chugging the soda and crushed the can. He grinned at Axel and said, " You like her don't you?"

Axel , who had been drinking from a bottle of Budweiser, sudden spit it out and glared at Marluxia. "Who?" he asked, pretending not to know.

Marluxia giggled. "Awwww there's no shame in having a crush on a girl Axel. Especially a girl like Larxene."

Axel grunted and took another long drink. Marluxia thought by the time he finished up that bottle he'd be loose enough to talk. Marluxia giggled again and went back to messing with his flowers while Axel sat and drank.

It had only been a few moments when Axel said, " She's really got a temper though huh? Some idiot set her off the other day. I didn't even do anything and she punched me square in the jaw…hurt too."

Marluxia bust out laughing so hard he had to sit down. "Sounds like her." When the fit of laughter had passed a serious thought had occurred to him. " I wonder what her story is? You don't get to be though like that unless you've had someone really put you through it."

Axel shrugged " ask her then."

"No way, its none of my business, if she wants to spill then she can, I ain't gonna ask her."

"Then don't bitch about it" Axel muttered.

Marluxia sighed, curiosity nagging at him on one hand, and his body reminding him when Larxene got angry she could hit hard. That led on into other thoughts finally resulting in thinking about the exams. " Hey Axel?"

"Whut?" He said, his voice a bit slurred. Boy didn't know how to handle his alcohol. Marluxia had to bite his lip to keep from laughing.

"Thinking of Larxene…you think she'll be okay in the exams commin up? You were here when the last girl died weren't you."

Axel nodded then muttered, " She deserved it though, she was a real bitch." Marluxia looked at him, a bit startled by Axel's way of thinking. Axel laughed at Marluxia's expression.

Marluxia once again turned back to his flowers, many thoughts plaguing his mind. Axel looked at him and had to wonder too him self, what was Marluxia's story? Marluxia was always interested in other people's background but he had never told a soul about himself. Axel remembered the day he first showed up.

((AN: flash back! Its italicized so when it's over you'll know))

Axel was coming down the stairs into the main hall. He turned to see Zexion dragging a scrawny soaking wet young man. He was dressed in a black tank top and baggy black shorts. He had on a black sock hat from which shaggy pink hair was spilled over his face. His eyes were wide with fear and bloodshot. Axel laughed to himself; his first thought of the guy was he looked like a drug dealer.

The man looked up from the floor, which he had been glaring at intently. "Where am I?" he asked, sounding angry.

"The world that never was" Zexion replied sharply, then added, " It'll be your new home."

The man glared at Zexion and jerked away from him. " No way, I wanna go home, back to my real home. What's going on? Do you know kidnapping is a felony?" from the way he spoke Axel assumed he was indeed stoned. Yay, one point for Axel.

Zexion smirked and said " Yes, and so is smoking pot, but you don't see me threatening you. Come on you druggie, you should be thanking me for saving you, if I hadn't come along when I did those heartless probably would have killed you. Too bad you got screwed over by them anyway." Zexion poked the guy hard on the chest to illustrate his point " you're a nobody now, your one of us, this is your home. Come on Now, I'm gonna take you to see Xemnas. What's your name?"

"Lumaria, wait, why am I telling you this? Who's Xemnas? I don't wanna be here I wanna go back home. Please I don't want to be –" it must have just now hit him. He fell silent, brooding over what Zexion had said. He touched his chest and muttered, "…My heart…it's gone…so am I a heartless now?"

"No, you're a nobody, a shell of a person. It's okay though; you won't have to be one forever. It's not in my jurisdiction to tell you all that though, that's Xemnas's job. Now come on you pot head, your wasting my time."

Axel watched them walk away. He had forgot what he had originally come down here for. He let his thoughts linger on the guy who'd just come in. "Jeezus we got quite a motley crew in the organization" he muttered. " A druggie/drug dealer is all we were missing."

Axel laughed, recalling the memory. For weeks Marluxia had been very twitchy and irritable. Axel had assumed it was drug withdrawal. After a while though he had mellowed out. He was a nice guy, as long as you kept him away from drugs.

Marluxia looked up at him and frowned. " What are you laughing at?"

Axel laughed harder, " nothing, nothing. Hey Marluxia, you aren't by chance growing anything illegal amongst those flowers are you?"

Marluxia stared at him wide eyed; surprised he would even say anything like that. Marluxia was very sensitive when people talked about his past drug problems. Suddenly he was angry rather than shocked. " Shut the fuck up Axel, your no saint you know."

"so you are growing pot?" Axel said and laughed.

Marluxia grabbed Axel by the collar of his shirt and jerked him off his feet. Axel had never had much to do with Marluxia, he had had no idea how strong Marluxia. It would be easy to under estimate the timid gardener by his looks and personality. Once he was pissed off though, it was easy to see why people never pissed him off more than once. Marluxia then hurled Axel and snapped, " don't underestimate me because I'm not a fucking jerk like you Axel. That's a warning, don't fuck with me."

Axel got up from the place he had landed. Damn he's strong, Axel thought, his head spinning. He tried to move but he stumbled and fell back down. " I guess drug dealers have to be strong so they can beat the shit out of people if the don't pay up" he thought out loud.

"What'd you say?" Marluxia snapped, still on edge about the former comment.

Axel felt his heart skip a beat " nothing" he quickly said.

"Good answer" Marluxia grunted, then walked away to a different part of the garden.

…

Larxene wondered down the hall when she happened upon Saïx. "Hey Saïx, what's up" she asked, trying to be pleasant.

Saïx looked up then back at her. " The ceiling" he commented and Larxene giggled. He shot her a strange look.

" I had a feeling you'd say something like that. You seem the type. Quite, calm, collected, people like that have a tendency to be a smart ass." She laughed again when he gave her a slight frown. " I think that's the most of an emotion you've shown since I've been here."

"We don't have emotions Larxene," he stated neutrally.

Larxene frowned. Xemnas had told her that but she hadn't really believed him. She still felt things. Emotions did seem different now, different in a way that was hard to put a finger on, but there nonetheless. "Yeah we do" she argued.

"If your referring to idiots like yourself and Demyx those are hollow and unreal emotions derived from your memories of having emotions, nothing more. Your all fools trying to convince yourselves you're a real person but your not." And with that he strolled away.

Larxene made no attempt to follow him. "Ouch" she said. They did have emotions, they had to. They couldn't be real if they didn't. After what Saïx said though she only half believed it herself.

…

"Get up sleepy head, its only a few hours before the exams start, don't wanna be out there fighting in your p.j's do ya?" Marluxia said and giggled. He knocked on the door again and got a groan in reply. " get up –"

" I'm getting up " Axel screamed and threw something at the door. Marluxia laughed wildly and disappeared before Axel decided to beat him senseless for waking him up. While Marluxia tried not to hold grudges, waking Axel up early was his small revenge for the cracks he had made yesterday.

"Jeezus Axel calm down" Demyx whined. He himself was half asleep. He hated sharing a room with Axel. Axel was normally off making fun of somebody or doing something destructive but when he wasn't he was in here taunting Demyx.

Axel growled angrily and got out of bed. He changed his clothes and threw his cloak on and was out the door before Demyx had gotten up. If he saw Marluxia before the exams he was going to beat his soul from his body. You won't have to worry about being a nobody anymore.

…

After he was a safe distance from Axel's room Marluxia slowed down. He stopped outside Larxene's door. He knocked on it softly.

"Come in, its unlocked" Larxene called. He walked in and she looked over at him and smiled. " Hey Marlu, I was just doing a bit of target practice before the exams."

Marluxia saw a small shadow heartless lying on the ground, writhing in pain from the multiple kunai sticking out of its form. He chuckled at she threw the last kunai, nailing the creature between the eyes. It disappeared in a poof and the kunai clattered to the floor. Larxene picked them back up and turned to Marluxia.

"What do you want?" she asked. She figured everyone would be doing a bit of practice for the exams.

"Nothing, just killing time before the exams. Zexion kicked me out of the room this morning so he could get dressed. He doesn't trust me" Marluxia said and laughed.

Larxene gave him a puzzled look. It had never occurred to her that he might be gay. Feminine sure, but gay? Now her curiosity was peaked. " why?" she asked.

Marluxia shrugged. He didn't know what to say. Maybe Larxene wasn't so judgmental as everyone else. Everyone in the organization had taken one look at him and labeled him gay. "You don't think I'm gay?" he asked.

"Truthfully I don't know what to think. Are you gay?"

Marluxia laughed. " Maybe…maybe not. Assume what you want. I'll leave you to do your target practice on defenseless heartless. Ta ta love" he said and smiled. A strange thought crept into his head and he found himself acting on it before he even fully understood what he was thinking. He placed a hand on the side of Larxene's face and kissed her. Not in a nice friendly way either. When they broke apart Larxene stared at him baffled. He smiled and disappeared out the door.

"What…in the hell was that about?" Larxene wondered aloud. In some secret place in the back of her mind she was thinking wow, I wonder where he learned to kiss like that.

…

Marluxia didn't fully understand himself why he had just done what he had. He had managed to confuse himself. Did he like Larxene? She was a nice friend and all but he didn't think he liked her that way. And the he confronted himself with the question everyone else had been asking, am I gay?

He wasn't really sure himself. Everyone had always told him he was so he had always assumed it was true. He thought ' well if everyone says I'm gay, I must be.' He had never really liked any girls, but he'd never liked any guys either. The whole thing with Zexion had always been a joke to him. Since Zexion was his roommate he'd hit on him just to make him feel uncomfortable. He wasn't really interested in him, though flirting with him had always produced some laughs.

The day he'd met Larxene he'd been harassing Zexion. He had been having an innocent conversation with the cloaked schemer when Marluxia had asked out of nowhere ' you ever had sex with a man?' Zexion must have herd ' will you have sex with me' because he bolted up and ran down the hall screaming 'keep him away from me' as loud as he could.

The mere memory caused Marluxia to giggle. He had a twisted since of humor sometimes. He opened the door to his room just in time to catch Zexion buttoning his jeans. " Awwww if I had only gotten here a few minutes earlier" he teased, and then laughed when Zexion went pale. " Kidding Zexy, but I do have something serious to ask you." If anyone could help him with his dilemma Zexion would. He was the smartest member in the organization.

Zexion slipped his cloak on then turned to face Marluxia cautiously. " What is it Mar?" Zexion asked bitterly.

'Am I gay?' was Marluxia's first thought but he decided to rephrase it, knowing what Zexion would say. " I think I might be in love Zexion, but I need your advice." Marluxia didn't know what else to say.

Zexion shifted uncomfortably " Listen Mar, you're a great guy and everything but I'm just not that-"

"Not you" Marluxia snapped. He almost said her name, but decided against it. That might make things worse.

Zexion frowned at him. " You know Marluxia, we can't love. We're nobodies. We have no hearts and there fore can't feel."

Everyone reminded him of that constantly. It was truly annoying. As much as everyone told him he couldn't feel things, that the emotions he had were just illusions he knew they weren't. The other day he had felt genuinely enraged at Axel. If he hadn't been he wouldn't have tossed him like a Frisbee.

"Okay then. Hypothetically we can feel, what should I do?"

Zexion frowned. Little did Marluxia knew he knew exactly what Marluxia was talking about. " I suppose you tell them."

Marluxia didn't like the sound of that. Tell Larxene that he though he liked her? Chaos would then ensue. "Any other ideas Zexion. I'd rather not tell them , sh-they might kill me."

Zexion shrugged. "I suppose you could try to romance them or something. A guy like you though, your better suited to pick up chicks than guys. Chicks dig flowers and all that, but most guys aren't, only you. So I really don't know what to tell you, unless you're trying to romance Larxene." He said the last part as a joke and burst out laughing. Little did he know he helped out a lot more than he had intended to.

"Thanks Zexion, you're a real pal" Marluxia said and smiled.

" Yeah, yeah, I'm the greatest I know already. I'll see you at the exams." Before Marluxia could ask where he was going he vanished into a portal of darkness.

Zexion appeared in Xigbar's room and smiled at him. " I've got some news that'll trouble Xemnas" he said and giggled. He only aloud himself to do so around Xigbar.

Xigbar grinned wildly " Really? Good, what is it?"

"Another organization member is seeing through his veil of lies. I think Marluxia is beginning to realize nobodies do have emotions. Xemnas will be pissed if he finds out since he is trying to convince everyone we don't."

"Really? That's great. You know I over heard a conversation between Saïx and the new girl, Larxene. I think She doesn't believe Xemnas's bullshit either. She told Saïx that she had emotions."

"That's wonderful love. There might be people we'll never convince nobodies have emotions, like Xaldin or Vexen. If we can get some of them to come around though we can over throw this bullshit organization. Xemnas only wants to collect powerful nobodies to do his dirty work by telling us we don't have emotions and that he can give us our hearts back by working for him. But we do have emotions…there just a little different. If we didn't I would have never fallen in love with you" Zexion purred and nuzzled Xigbar affectionately.

Xigbar kissed Zexion gently on the lips and muttered " come on, lets go. Exams are gonna start in a few minutes."

…

Marluxia walked down the hall, down the stairs to one of the basement floors. The basement floors were normally stuff the nobodies could do to entertain themselves, such as the library Vexen, and now Larxene, spent so much time in. This particular level though was a stadium, used for sparing and the exams. It was a nice sized stadium with several rows of seating, many more than they would ever need. The only one more impressive would probably be the Olympus Coliseum.

Marluxia walked around the rows of seating when he saw something that shocked him. Larxene was sitting next to Axel. They seemed to be having a good time. He could hear Larxene giggling, indicating Axel had said something funny. What surprised him the most was that Axel had put his arm around her shoulders. She didn't seem to mind, in fact she seemed to be enjoying it. Then Marluxia startled himself…

He felt jealous.

((Authors Note: Yay! Plot twists! Conspiracy! So yeah, the entire organization is built on a foundation of lies. And also Zexion and Xigbar! They make a good couple. And also a complicated love triangle has begun (Axel, Larxene, Marluxia). This fic is only gonna get more and more interesting, heck I didn't even predict how some of this was gonna turn out. Especially the part about Marluxia being a pot smoker, but I figured it made since, he dose like to garden, but maybe I'm stereotyping gardeners. At any rate, stick around, cause the next chapters gonna be the best yet :)

P.S. Sailex is an anagram of Alexis, my dearest. ))