Disclaimer: If you're gullible enough to believe I own Naruto, I know of some timeshares in Florida you might go for, too. But never mind, I don't own either, anyway.
Note: This chapter seemed way too short, for some reason. Plus there was another scene I wanted to work in, but that took on a life of its own, and I had already set it aside as a wholly separate part when I wrote this. And I didn't want to throw off the chapters here corresponding to White Dog Night. So after part 3's endnotes, scroll down just a bit and you'll find another story, just for you!
Summary: Hanabi graduates from the Konoha Academy, but it won't mean anything to her unless Neji approves.
Hyuuga Secret Arts
(Companion to "White Dog Night")
Part 3: The Art of Covering Shame
A Naruto Ficlet by
Nate Grey (XMAN0123-at-aol-dot-com)
Hyuuga Neji threw another curious glance at the Konoha Academy as he leaned against the tree, trying to remember if his exam had taken this long. Unfortunately, he could only recall that it had been fast and easy for him, and not so much for his envious classmates. The exam had been particularly difficult for his teammate Rock Lee, as the boy depended so heavily on taijutsu. Tenten had had an easier time, but she'd been jealous of Neji as well, and that was good, he now knew. It had urged them to work harder, in order to keep up with, and one day, surpass him. They were now solid, well-rounded genin, and he was proud (most of the time, in Lee's case) to call them his teammates.
Pride was part of what had brought him back here today. Hanabi would officially become a ninja in just a few minutes, if she hadn't already. Of this, there was no doubt in his mind. Their private training had been progressing smoothly, and by now she would be able to handle anything the Academy threw at her with ease. Neji had assured her of this, and in response, she'd asked if he would honor her graduation with his presence.
The presentation ceremony itself meant nothing to Hanabi, and she hadn't seemed all that eager at the idea of finally getting her hands on a Konoha headband, either. Naturally, Neji had been surprised at the invitation, but now he understood that it was the only way Hanabi would be able to look back on this day meaningfully. He was the only one, in her opinion, who had given her any real training. His presence was a way of showing that he agreed with her promotion, and that she was worthy of being recognized by him as a ninja.
After several more minutes of waiting, Neji was tempted to use the Byakugan and find Hanabi himself. Knowing her, she might have wandered off with her headband before they had been handed out. But it seemed he wouldn't have to look, as the first new graduates flooded out of the Academy a few seconds later. Most of them were wearing huge grins, some were shouting and cheering, and a few were pensive and silent.
Strangely, even when the crowd had thinned out to the last few stragglers, Hanabi still had not emerged.
Certain now that something was not right, Neji pushed away from the tree and started walking towards the Academy, seconds before the door opened one last time.
He could see at once that she'd been crying. Yet the very idea of Hanabi, of all people, crying, was so alien to Neji that he could hardly accept it. He had seen her cry only once, and that had been when…
Ah. So that was it, then.
Sighing, he continued approaching her. He nearly tripped when he could not spot the Konoha headband anywhere on her person. What madness was this? Who could've possibly been so blind that they denied Hanabi what she, more than anyone else in her class, deserved? Then he saw that one arm was thrust behind her back, as if hiding something. The Byakugan confirmed his suspicion, and he relaxed considerably.
Hanabi desperately wiped her eyes with her arm, but it was still easy for him to see that they were slightly red from her tears when he was right in front of her.
"What is it, Hanabi-sama?" Neji asked quietly, genuine concern in his tone. "Why aren't you wearing-"
"Iruka-sensei said he was very proud of me," Hanabi interrupted, sniffling a bit. "That he expected nothing less of a Hyuuga."
Neji frowned, knowing exactly where this was going.
"He said… that I reminded him of HER!" she sobbed, taking in great gulps of air as she tried to force herself to stop crying.
He sighed. For some reason, Neji was the only one that knew just how much Hanabi hated being compared to Hinata, especially now. The comparisons always brought out Hinata's many faults, and those, Neji suspected, were what really made Hanabi so upset. Despite her faults, Hinata had found the resolve to change her fate, albeit far too drastically for both their tastes. She had abandoned her clan, and technically betrayed Konoha in the process. In truth, Hinata was too kind to be capable of betrayal of any sort, and had only left to escape becoming disowned, forced into the branch house, or worse.
The problem was, Hanabi didn't really have any faults, or at least not any glaring ones like Hinata had. Yet everything she did would inevitably be compared to what her older sister had done. Hinata had managed to cast a bigger shadow by leaving than she ever could have by staying, and it would take a great deal of effort for Hanabi to ever escape its reach. Was it any wonder that part of her hated Hinata for that?
Neji understood what it was like to hate and care for Hinata at the same time. He could not forgive what she had done to him, even though he understood why she had done it, and respected that. Still, he wondered if she was alive, if she had learned anything worthwhile, and if he would ever see her again. She was a missing-nin now, and so could never return to Konoha, but Neji had never planned to stay there all of his life, anyway. Nor did he doubt that when he left, Hanabi would be at his side.
Some things were just too hard to let go of.
"Will you not wear your headband, Hanabi?" he asked.
She noticed at once that he had dropped the usual honorific, and this seemed to appease her somewhat, as her sniffling ended. "I will not," she whispered.
"And why not?"
"It means nothing to me. It represents what she has done, not what I have."
Neji considered that for a few seconds before he spoke again. "You will bear no mark that you have come this far, then?"
Hanabi lifted her head slowly. "There is one I would… but it is not mine to demand."
His curiosity eventually got the best of him. "And what is this mark that does not belong to you?"
She hesitated for a second, but then forced herself to answer. "You are my sensei, Neji-oniisan. I would proudly wear your headband."
It was an outrageous request, to say the least. The headband was not only a symbol of ninja certification, it was also a pact between a ninja and their village of origin. They were only replaced in the most extreme circumstances, and these were few and far between, since it was expected that one would go to great lengths to keep the headband safe and whole.
Yet Neji's headband was even more important to him than that. It had seen him through a number of encounters already, and, more importantly, it hid the mark of his ultimate shame at all times. He had never even considered adjusting it for anyone's sake, much less taking it off.
And as much as his headband meant to him, he knew it would mean even more to Hanabi.
She would not care if it were dirty, sweaty, or stained with his blood. Nor would she care if it were damaged in some way. All that mattered was that it belonged to him, and that he had given it to her.
Before he knew it, his fingers had already loosened the knot behind his head. With obvious reluctance, he removed the headband and knelt down in front of Hanabi, who had again lowered her head in shame, no doubt disgusted with herself for crying in front of him.
"What you say is true, Hanabi," Neji said quietly, gently brushing her hair aside so he could tie his headband loosely around her slim neck. "You are my student, and so it falls to me to inform you of when you have met certain expectations of mine. I trust you will guard this even more carefully than I have."
For the first time since he had known her, Hanabi was unable to speak, as opposed to just unwilling. She stared at his gift for a long moment, and then at him, her wide, shocked eyes taking in all of his face, and finally the Cursed Seal now revealed on his forehead. Her gaze rested there for some time, but at last, she pressed her own newly obtained headband into his hand.
Neji made quick work of recovering his forehead, even though everyone else had long since gone. He had always been ashamed of the Cursed Seal, and allowing Hanabi to see it was something he had never planned for. He felt so vulnerable now, even with it covered. It was strange, since Hanabi had known all along it was there, even if she couldn't have seen it without the aid of the Byakugan.
"I wish to train tonight," Hanabi said abruptly. "Are you available?"
"I am," Neji replied at once, eager to regain a sense of normalcy between them. He never wanted to appear uncertain around her if he could help it. "We should go now," he added after a short pause.
She nodded once, and before either of them knew what was happening, her small hand had reached out and caught his in a surprisingly firm grip.
His first instinct was to pull away quickly, before they were seen. The obvious risk of earning her wrath aside, Hanabi's father would probably not look upon such a sight with anything even resembling acceptance. But Neji told himself that it was just a small thing, really. It could be considered another reward for her progress today. It was something to keep her mind from returning to thoughts of Hinata, perhaps.
For whatever reason, Neji did not pull away, and instead closed his hand around her own as they walked away from the Academy.
He didn't hate Hanabi as he had Hinata. Nor did he feel the same about the younger cousin as he had the older when his hatred had become grudging acceptance. Yet it would be quite a stretch to call what he felt for either love of any kind. Concern was probably a better word for it, and even that seemed so lacking.
"Oniisan," he heard Hanabi say for the first time, and looked down to see her staring straight ahead. "I am pleased that you accepted my invitation."
He could think of nothing to say to that, but Hanabi didn't seem to mind at all. He was fairly certain of that, because he could never recall seeing that tiny smile on her face before now.
End of Part 3.
Endnotes:
Hanabi no longer referring to Neji as "Neji-oniisan" means something, just as his simply calling her "Hanabi" means something. I suppose I should try to explain it, for those who wouldn't know (especially since I just learned the difference myself!).
As it was explained to me, Hinata says "Neji-niisan" to indicate her emotional relationship to him, as opposed to her genetic one (cousins). She thinks of him as an older brother, and addresses him as such, although if he actually were her brother, she would probably just say "niisan". The fact that she uses his name at the same time indicates that he isn't actually her brother, oddly enough. So Hanabi saying only "oniisan" should be taken to mean that she considers Neji her true big brother in every way that matters.
On the other hand, if they had a normal relationship, Neji would've just said "Hanabi-chan" from the start, but they don't, so he doesn't.
Neji called her "Hanabi-sama" to show her the proper respect (as he assumedly would for all main house members), but stops once he feels emotionally close enough to her to do so. It's not that he doesn't respect her anymore, just that they're familiar enough now where it's not necessary to be so formal.
Disclaimer: See first disclaimer. I'm lazy like that.
Notes: Another part, just like I promised. It fits with the above part in some ways (this one occurs later the same day, but at night), and in others, I thought it deserved some distinction. Though perhaps the real reason I didn't make them both one part is that I got attached to the title. I just love that concept.
Hyuuga Secret Arts
Companion to "White Dog Night"
Part 3.2: The Art of Speaking in Silence
A Naruto Ficlet by
Nate Grey (XMAN0123-at-aol-dot-com)
Neji did not so much sense Hanabi's presence in his room. Actually, he heard it, which was surprising to say the least.
Hanabi had a quiet way of doing nearly everything. Unless one was specifically listening out for her, more often than not, she would never be detected. Neji had virtually had to retrain himself to catch the signs of her approach: the soft rustling of her dark-colored shifts against her pale legs, the near-silent sound of her breathing, or the whispery brush of her long hair against some overlooked object.
This night, Hanabi was still quiet, and yet loud enough that it was impossible for him to miss her arrival. She managed to stub her toe shortly upon entering, muttered what could only be a curse under her breath, and then actually whispered his name, as if he wasn't already awake.
But, feeling strangely amused by this turn of events, Neji gave no sign at all that he had heard her. He was curious to see what Hanabi would do next, and more than that, he wondered what she might do when she thought no one was listening.
As usual, Hanabi did not disappoint him. Not unlike the first time she'd visited his room, she climbed onto his bed and stared at him expectantly. But either Neji's pantomime of sleep had improved phenomenally, or Hanabi just had no further desire to announce her presence at the time, because she merely sat there, sometimes looking at him, and sometimes not.
Nearly thirty minutes passed in this manner, and it became pretty obvious that Hanabi wasn't going to leave anytime soon. She had limited all her motions to turning her head, wetting her lips, and occasionally, raising and lowering her hand, as if she wanted to do something, but convinced herself not to each time.
Still Neji waited, convinced he would learn the purpose of this late-night visit soon enough.
Finally, Hanabi did something he truly wasn't expecting.
He felt small fingers moving over his right hand, lifting it, and then simply holding onto it. He waited for her to do something, anything else with his hand, but she didn't.
It took several minutes for him to accept that Hanabi merely wanted to hold his hand. While he assumed it was nothing as simple as that, she at least hadn't been obvious about doing anything else with it. She hadn't poked or pulled, only held. Perhaps she wanted to know if his fingers held a certain power, as hers did.
"Will you leave me, too, oniisan?" Hanabi whispered, her grip on his hand tightening for a second.
"Of course not, Hanabi," Neji answered without thinking. "I still have many things left to teach you."
He was sure she would let go, and for a moment, it seemed as if she might. But, realizing she'd already been caught, Hanabi simply held onto his hand a little tighter.
"You don't believe me?" he asked.
"I can't," was Hanabi's soft reply. "Hinata was weak, but she was the most honest person I knew. And even she deceived me."
It bothered him, how quickly Hanabi had simply stopped referring to Hinata as her sister, and started using only her name. He couldn't be sure if that was a personal choice, or if she was just following the example of her father and the elders. But Neji realized that he as well had stopped thinking of her as "Hinata-sama," though he could not pinpoint exactly when that had happened.
"It upsets you, being compared to her," he stated quietly.
Hanabi nodded wordlessly.
"I will not compare you to her, Hanabi, so long as you extend the same courtesy to me. That is fair, is it not?"
She blinked as her mind took in his meaning. All his life, he had been compared to Hinata, and even though he was superior in every way, still he was lacking the one thing that would've made the biggest difference: the proper lineage.
"I did not mean to offend you, oniisan," she apologized softly.
"You didn't. But Hinata is no longer a member of this clan, and her actions should not determine what happens between us. Do you understand?"
"Yes," Hanabi answered.
"Good." Neji sighed and stared blankly at the ceiling. "Suppose you tell me why you are here."
She hesitated in answering. "It is not a good reason," she said at last.
"I will be the judge of that. Go on."
"I… had to be sure… that you were still here."
"As you can see, I am." He waited a few seconds. "Why are you still here?"
"You will think I am being childish," she whispered, sounding disgusted with herself.
Neji only barely resisted the urge to smile. "It might surprise you to learn that childhood, however unpleasant, is an inescapable period in every human life, Hanabi. If you happen to be in possession of any leftover traits from that period, I assure you that you hide them very well, and that I will not think any less of you if they should happen to slip out from time to time."
"I don't want to be alone anymore."
He turned his head to look directly at her, and was startled to see Hanabi's eyes growing damp. "And what makes you feel that you are alone?"
"This power I have. This clan. The way people look at me when I do go outside. And…"
"Hinata?"
She shut her eyes tightly and slowly nodded. "She was so useless… and at times, I hated her. But… she was always there. And now… I can't even hate her, because she's not supposed to exist anymore." Hanabi pressed a hand to her heart. "But I can feel her, even now. It hurts. And I hate it. And I hate the memory of her, for making me feel this way."
Neji shook his head. "I don't think that is a feeling you can rid yourself of, Hanabi. It may only be something you can bury deep inside of you."
"I wish it were that simple," Hanabi murmured. "But I can't. Because I know wherever she is, whatever she's doing… she still thinks of me as her sister. She still loves me. I can never be at peace unless I deal with her feelings for me."
"How will you do that?" he asked.
"One day," she whispered, "I will find her. I will tell her what she did to me. And then… we will settle everything between us."
"No," Neji said at once.
Her head whipped around in anger. "What?"
"Have you forgotten our terms already, Hanabi? You will challenge no opponent who outranks you without my permission. Hinata is a genin. You are not."
"You would deny me this?" Hanabi asked in disbelief.
"I am not denying you anything. I simply have not yet given you permission to challenge Hinata. When I have determined that you are prepared to face her, then I will give you my permission."
"I don't understand," she muttered after a long moment.
Neji smirked. "Yes, you do. You are merely unwilling to accept it. Clearly, there is much more I will need to teach you."
There was, indeed. Hanabi did not want to be alone, and yet she already had her heart set on hunting down one of the few people who would never leave her mind. She was not ready, and she would not be ready anytime soon. Not until she realized that she wasn't alone, simply because there was someone right next to her, even at this very moment.
Hanabi was still considering his words when he touched her shoulder. "Go to sleep, Hanabi. You will have plenty of time to think on this later."
"Yes, oniisan," she replied, still sounding reluctant. But without any further complaint, she lay down beside him and promptly closed her eyes.
While he hadn't meant that she should go to sleep in his bed, Neji wasn't too concerned. There was only one possible heir now, and no matter how she behaved, the clan wouldn't dare get rid of her. He, on the other hand, could still be punished, but with any luck, Hanabi would be in a position to put a stop to that soon enough.
He was just about to go back to sleep himself when he noticed that Hanabi still hadn't released his hand. Considering why she had come to him in the first place, Neji could not think of a solid reason to deny her this simple physical contact, especially if it helped her focus.
Within moments, they were both asleep, neither having any clue as to what the next day would bring.
Hanabi was gone when Neji woke up, and yet, her presence was not.
There was an odd tingling sensation in his right hand, and as he lifted it for closer inspection, the feeling begin to spread rapidly throughout his body. It was a very pleasant feeling, one of comfort, warmth, and even… fuzziness?
His eyes lit up in shock as he finally made the connection.
"Is this… Hanabi's power, too?" he murmured, even as he recognized that the spread of sensation in that manner was too familiar to ignore. He wasn't certain what surprised him more: that there was another aspect to Hanabi's "dark" gift, or that she had actually been in a good enough mood to pass such feelings on to him.
Immediately, Neji became curious. What had changed in the few hours that he had been asleep? What could have made Hanabi so very pleased? e had assumed she would still be at least slightly upset with him, but clearly this was not the case.
After several minutes of meditation, Neji could only come up with one conclusion.
Hanabi had woken up first, only to find that she was next to him, and therefore no longer alone. And perhaps that was what she'd wanted and needed more than anything else.
End of Part 3.2.
Endnotes:
I did warn you there was more to Hanabi's technique. In short, she can pass on whatever she's feeling at the moment through touch. Even warm fuzzies, rare as that might be for her.
Keep in mind that Hanabi is currently an Academy graduate, which makes her only a ninja, not a genin. She still has to pass a test (the "bell test" in Naruto's case) before she becomes a genin. So in terms of official ranking, Hinata does outrank her. If you're curious about who she ends up with for teammates, I'll get to that next time.