DUMBER'S BLUNDER
By Myrtle the Tyrtle

Chapter Two

"… we are going to teach you magic."

There was a stunned silence.

"But… you can't!" it was the talking girl. "There's no such thing."

The man in the pale blue robe smiled gently. "John, I think a demonstration is in order."

A tall, black man in a scarlet robe stepped forward. He waved a long pointed stick – a wand – and shouted an unrecognisable word. Light burst from the end and hit a chair in the corner of the room. It turned into a pig.

The girl – Miss Hawke – clapped appreciatively, but everyone else stared.

"That was Professor John Gooding, demonstrating a wonderful display of Transfiguration. Now do you believe there is no such thing as magic?"

A pale boy raised his hand, and blushed as red as Professor Gooding's robe when everyone looked at him. "When will we get to do that, sir?"

Professor Gooding smiled. "Not for quite a while. It takes some building up to."

Another girl spoke. "Are we the only students in the school?"

"No, of course not. There are hundreds more students – but they are on summer holidays," answered the man in the blue. "There will be more in your year too, the beginner year. You lot have been brought here now because you are not from wizarding families. We endeavour to give you a basic understanding of magic so you can pick it up easily at the same level as your classmates when you get back to school in March."

The pale boy raised his hand again. "What will we learn?"

"Ready to get started, are we? Well, your lessons will begin tomorrow. Preliminarily, you will be learning History of Magic, Basic Spells and Wandcraft, Potions, Herbology and Astronomy, but in the term you will also take Flying, Duelling, Transfiguration, Charms and Defence Against the Dark Arts," said the blue wizard. "And… oh! I do believe I've forgotten to introduce myself. My name is Professor Helliwell and I'm the Headmaster. These are Professors Gooding, Williams, Penitax, Pye and Smethwyck," he waved at wizards wearing red, yellow, green, violet and dark blue robes respectively. "They are five of our house Deans. Unfortunately, Professor Mortenson could not be here as he is currently working for the Royal Family."

"You still have a monarchy?" asked the Australian girl. "Wow…"

"Yes, Miss Hawke, we do. You will learn about it tomorrow in History of Magic. It will be your first class, and held at ten o'clock in this hall. But now it is late, so Professor Smethwyck will show you to your dorm rooms for the time you are here."

The Professor stood up, and led the children to their accommodation for the time being, where they quickly fell asleep with dreams of magic and royalty.

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The next morning most of the students were up early, getting to know each other over breakfast. At five to ten, Professor Williams came in to begin the lesson.

"Hello, good morning, class. Are we all awake?" he enthusiastically greeted the soon-to-be-first years, receiving a mumble in response. "Excellent," he continued regardless. "As you should no doubt remember, I am Professor Williams, and I will be taking you for History of Magic. This topic will be taught in three lessons for the week you are here, and each will cover a different part of your Wizarding History. Today we will be looking at an overview of how our world came to be."

He passed around some flashy-looking textbooks, and instructed them to turn to page 4.

"Oh my god, the pictures are moving!" exclaimed one boy, clearly out of his depth.

"Yes, they do tend to do that," said the Professor, clearly amused. He proceeded to clear his throat and read from the textbook:

Wizards have existed for millennia, but it was only 1000 years when the first great school was set up by the four witches and wizards who have been regarded as the best of all the ages. They were Godric Gryffindor, Helga Hufflepuff, Rowena Ravenclaw and Salazar Slytherin. Their school was called Hogwarts, and they each governed one house and taught a subject until their dying days.

Hogwarts flourished for many years, and produced hundreds of thousands of great offspring. Unfortunately, it was one of its offspring that played an important role in the destruction of said school.

Williams looked up. "It is important, at this point, to know that not all wizards are good. Some are pure evil, and some are plain foolish. The wizard we are about to meet was one of those fools. In fact, he was such a fool that he was dubbed the Greatest Fool Ever to Walk the Earth."

Albus Dumbledore graduated from Hogwarts in the late 1800s, and was teaching Transfiguration when the First Wizarding War broke out. This was covered up in the Muggle World with what they knew as World War Two.

A dark wizard called Grindelwald (Hitler, for the Muggles) decided to conquer the world. Albus Dumbledore headed an organisation called the Order of the Phoenix, aiming to stop Grindelwald's plans. Alas, he failed, and as a consequence of the difficult magic he did not administer properly, half of Europe was destroyed.

"Would anybody like to share their opinions on what I just read?"

A thin looking boy raised his hand. "Because of the war my country was given a bad name," he said in a thick German accent. "Our land was diminished and infertile… until the revival of 1961."

"That is true, um, sorry… I don't know your name."

The boy looked up sadly. "Neither do I," he said simply.

There was a slight pause before the teacher tried to mend the moment. "Anyone else?"

But nobody else wanted to speak about their post-war experiences or opinions, so the professor moved on to the next topic.

For the next sixteen years, the wizarding world fell into disarray. The remaining schools closed, and the international community drifted apart. No wizarding countries joined together for organised sport or politics. Until one day in the early 1960's – the very same day that our friend's country regained its footing – a man stepped down from the snowy Himalayas, and reforged the bonds between magic folk.

He set up the country you are in now as a wizarding monarchy, with himself as the head. He renamed it New Avalon, after the legendary isle of old. Owls were commissioned to alert all of wizardkind of the land where we could prosper without fear of Muggles finding out. The best…

Professor Williams trailed off, realising a number of the class were looking lost at the word 'Muggle'. "For those of you who haven't worked it out yet," he said, "a Muggle is our word for non-magic-folk, like your parents and most of the people in your countries of origin."

The best wizards and witches were brought in to make the magic of the country unnoticeable. Muggles would, of course, be able to travel through the country, but would not notice any magical activity. The former occupants of New Avalon, or New Zealand as it was known, were relocated under the influence of deception charms.

"I believe you will learn about these in year two," said the Professor, and opened the floor for more questions.

"Were there any wizards who didn't wish to be integrated with the rest of the world?" asked a dark boy.

"Yes, Mr Mostafa, there were. You are from Egypt, I believe? Well, Egypt was a magically strong country, one of the best in the world, and the many wizards there chose to form their own wizarding republic. The reason you did not join their school was because they consider themselves to be an elite group, free of the merged Avalon monarchy."

"What of the Europeans who didn't die in Dumbledore's, er, accident?" asked a Japanese girl.

"Well, Miss Shuiken," began the Professor, but the Australian girl, Miss Hawke, interrupted.

"I can answer that," she said.

"Well, go ahead then."

She cleared her throat. "England and the British Isles were completely annihilated, but the other survivors relocated. For example, a French colony was established in the Australian Outback, while the Northern Europeans sought asylum in America."

"Yes, that is correct," confirmed the professor.

"And is there anything left in England?"

The professor looked away. "Sadly, no. Nothing has been left but the ruins of a few buildings, covered in ash. It was said to be worse than the destruction caused by Mt Vesuvius in the first century AD." He paused, before continuing with the final paragraphs of the chapter.

The legacy of Hogwarts was so great that four of the six houses at the King's new institute of learning were named after the four houses of the original school. Two more houses were added, to convey the support and admiration that the King had shown for other wizards prominent through history.

Adam Arrondale was the British Minister for Magic during the war. He was a wise, brave man who had a passion for potions and line dancing. Roosevelt Buckland, an American, was essential for the setting up of the new country, and the King honoured this by naming a state and a house after him.

"Each of the houses has its own history, with good times and bad. With this in mind, we must remember all are equal as you are sorted with the wand ceremony later this afternoon," said Professor Williams as he checked his watch. "But now, lunch."

He clapped his hands twice, and golden plates of food appeared on the table quite magically. Leaving the students to eat their meal of chicken wings and fresh bread, he turned and walked briskly back to the staff room.

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A/N: Hopefully my report of the History of the Wizarding World since 1945 has satisfied your curiosity, and you are now fluent in my AU history. If not feel free to ask me any questions and I will get back to you.

Myrtle