Mini-Chapter:

Cooking with Xigbar

(Authors note: a random idea that hit me earlier today. This is just a random misadventure turned into little mini-chapter about our dearest Freeshooter. It has nothing to do with the main plot, but oh well. It's fun nonetheless.)

Larxene sat in one of the chairs in the kitchen, eating handful after handful of Cheese-its. She knew they were about as nutritious as cardboard, but they were her favorite food nonetheless.

"ewww, Larxene. Honestly I thought you had better taste than that" Xigbar snapped, jerking the box out of her hand. If it had been anyone else she would have killed them. Instead she looked up at him sadly, wondering why he would do such a thing. " did Marluxia get these for you?" She nodded, extending her hand, as if to ask for them back. He snorted and tossed them in the garbage, earning a horrified glare from Larxene.

"That junk ain't good for you, ya know" Xigbar said, pacing through the kitchen, as if looking for something.

"but-but there good" she whined, eyes wide.

He cocked an eyebrow at her "are you serious?"

" I practically lived off Cheeze-It's and pretzel sticks. You don't like'em?" she said with a shrug.

This time Xigbar was the one left eyes wide…well …eye wide. "As if! I can't believe this. You've never had normal food?"

"Cheeze-Its are normal" she said, crossing her arms defiantly.

He threw his arms up in disgust " that's it! I'm cooking dinner tonight."

"oooh Xigbar's cooking?" Demyx asked, walking through the door, idiotic grin on his face. "awesome! Will you make that awesome sea food dish you did last time?"

"Sure kid" Xigbar said and ruffled Demyx's hair, causing him to frown for a second before his goofy grin reclaimed his face.

"That's good. Larxene you haven't lived till you tasted Xigbar's cooking. He's a god in the kitchen," Demyx said.

"and don't you forget it" Xigbar said, already pulling pots and pans out of cupboards. " Demyx, you go get the fish outta the freezer okay?" Demyx nodded and then vanished without another word. " Larxene you stay here and watch. You need to see what REAL food is. Maybe you can be my assistant."

Larxene grinned, leaning against the wall, watching Xigbar. " Sounds great, I love food." Larxene found it kind of funny, chef Xigbar. He didn't exactly strike her as Iron Chef. She watched as he set up everything, like he'd done it a million times before.

"Larxene, you like noodles?" he asked as he started setting out stuff on the counter.

Her mouth watered at the mention of noodles. " They are the god of all foods" she whimpered.

Xigbar laughed, setting a thing of pasta out " That's good." He seemed to know exactly where everything was, as if he had sorted it himself. It occurred to her maybe he had. Maybe he was the full time chef. He quickly dismissed that theory though. " I don't cook a lot… reminds me about my old self…" he said quietly. " But when I do I make sure to do a hell of a good job. I make sure its enough to keep everyone contented for a while. Everyone likes different stuff though so it's a real pain in the ass to cook for eleven."

Larxene cocked an eyebrow " uhhh don't you mean twelve?"

"Nope. Zexion doesn't eat. He claims food is for the weaklings. He lives solely on coffee." Larxene gave him another puzzled look and he further explained " we're nobodies. We don't really need food. We need some sustenance to keep our bodies functioning, but it could be cardboard, or rocks, or even just water."

Larxene nodded, understanding. She hadn't thought a lot about being a no body. To her it felt exactly the same as being whole….just a little different. " So everybody eats something different? That's gotta be a pain in the ass to do all that cooking."

"Another reason why I don't do it a lot. It's long, tiring, thankless work, which is why I normally just have the dusks do it." He grinned though and said " its something enjoyable that I can do to easy my nerves. Demyx has his sitar, Vexen his experiments, and I have my cooking."

Larxene nodded. She'd learned a lot about the elusive number two in just a few moments. She didn't normally see him about like the others. She had assumed maybe he had some vastly important job, or was always away on missions. Or maybe he was socially retarded like Axel was.

The door to the kitchen opened and Demyx came in with a box; a large sticker saying 'Keep Frozen' was placed on it. Demyx dropped the box on the counter and smiled. "So what all you gonna make Xiggy?" he asked.

Xigbar shrugged" same as always. Salad for Marluxia and Vexen, noodles for Axel, steak for Saïx and Lexaeus, your fish, some fruit maybe some bread too. Me, I'll just make myself some soup.

And Zexion's coffee."

Larxene stared at him " your gonna make all that?"

"Sounds like a lot, but keep in mind its for eleven people" Xigbar said, opening the box of frozen meats.

Demyx watched up until Xigbar began chopping the fish's heads off. He winced and turned away. " That's my queue to leave. See you guys at dinner" he said, waving before stepping through the door.

XxX

Larxene was scrambling back and forth across the kitchen; Getting Xigbar whatever he needed and helping him get rid of scraps and clean things. After only a short amount of time she'd already worked up a sweat. She slipped out of her heavy coat and tossed it on a chair. She always wore a simple black tank top and pants under her coat.

Xigbar glanced over at her and laughed. "Tired? Please, we just started and you're doing the easy stuff."

"Yeah but you've been doing it a while. This is my first time working in a kitchen" she retorted, crossing her arms.

"Don't start quittin on me. I need all the help I can get. The dusks are basically useless ya know."

"I know, I know. I'm helping" she said, handing him another pot.

There was a soft tap on the door and a sliver of bright red peeked in the door. " Alrighty, Xigbar's cookin tonight" Axel said, throwing the door open. He walked over to a boiling pot full of pasta and grinned. " aww Xiggy ya shouldn't have!"

"Kay, I won't next time then" he said, pushing Axel away. Axel frowned and crossed his arms. Xigbar glared at him " do you need something? I'm creating art here."

Axel cocked an eyebrow. "art?"

"yeah, art. Gotta problem with it?" Larxene snarled, peeling potatoes over by the sink.

Axle stared at her for a moment before he started giggling. " Larxene in the kitchen. That's something I never thought I'd see" he teased.

"If you're not gonna help Axel, scram" Xigbar said, gutting a fish. Axel watched the fish's disemboweling and he gagged.

" uhhh how can Demyx eat that. I think I'mma hurl just looking at it."

"If you insist on loitering about until the noodles are done why don't you make yourself useful and help Larxene. She was just complaining earlier," Xigbar instructed, de-heading another fish. Axel stared at the head, the eye seemingly staring back at him. he gagged again and walked over to the sink.

" I wasn't complaining. I was just commenting that it was hard work. If anything it was a compliment" she said, too proud to accept Axel's help, though she needed it. Axel didn't offer to though. He just watched her for a while before she glared over at him and snapped, " Do you mind? I'm trying to feed you people."

Axel shrugged, sitting down in the chair Larxene had tossed her coat on. He knew she wouldn't ask him to help, so he took advantage of that.

A few moments passed, Larxene finding it extremely hard to work while being watched. " Xigbar said help or leave. Not sit and watch," she snarled at Axel, destroying a potato in the process.

He figured that was about as much of a help request as he'd get. He chuckled and got up, walking over next to her. He got a knife and set to work peeling potatoes. Larxene felt oddly contented just to have him they're working. Probably because he wasn't staring at her any more.

XxX

After nearly two hours of preparing food and such Larxene and Axel were exhausted. Xigbar seemed fine, chipper as ever. He was covering things up, adding spices and his own little finishing touches to everything.

" Don't you two eat anything. I'll be right back" Xigbar said, taking off with a hot bowl of soup in one hand and a coffee mug in the other.

Axel immediately walked over to look at all the food laid out on the counter, grinning. " Axel don't. Last thing we want is to piss Xigbar off" Larxene snapped, leaning back in her chair.

"I'm just taking one little piece of fruit. I think I earned it," he said, grabbing the juicy looking star shaped fruit on top. He took a bite out of it and grinned. " mmmm this is good… wanna bite?"

Larxene crossed her arms, glaring at him. It did look good though. She sighed " fine. Just a little piece." He snapped the fruit in half, handing her the half he hadn't touched. It was the best tasting thing Larxene had ever eaten. She hurried through it though incase Xigbar came back. She licked the juice from her lips and sighed, sated.

"I wonder if there's another?" he said, picking through the assorted fruits. He didn't find a second one though. He sat down in another chair and closed his eyes, breathing in the sweet small of the food. It was about to drive him mad.

A few moments later Xigbar returned. He looked over the food, as if he didn't trust them. He didn't notice the missing fruit. Or if he did he didn't say anything. He took a deep breath then said " thanks guys. You were a big help. Dinners not for another few hours but…" he handed Axel the pasta bowl and opened up the back room door. " I figured I'd let you guys go on and eat since you did help out and all. Just keep it in the back room, okay."

They nodded, Axel carrying the bowl jealously, Larxene grabbing forks and plates. They went into the back room, essential just a small back room with a little table set up and dim, old light bulbs that didn't work. They usually had boxes and such stored back there, but it was empty today.

Axel set the bowl down and snatched a plate from Larxene. He started to dump the noodles onto his plate when she trust a fork at him and growled " be civilized."

He ducked his head, holding his hands up in mock terror. "Yes oh, Larxene the food goddess."

"You know I am," she said with that wicked smile, throwing the fork at him. She then proceeded to spoon the noodles onto her plate, mixing them with the marinara.

Axel grabbed his fork and did the same. Typically he'd just eat from the bowl like a dog. But no, Larxene wanted to be 'civilized' pfft.

XxX

Xigbar grinned, leaning against the counter, guarding the meal from the others, who would smell the food and soon come looking for an early snack. "Are we bad people?" Xigbar asked his companion, who was contently sipping coffee.

"No…. because we're not people. We're nobodies" Zexion said flatly. "How ever, was it cruel to set Larxene and Axel up? Maybe a little bit." He smirked.

Xigbar nodded thoughtfully and shrugged. "It's obvious that they like one another… they both just have big egos. Reminds me of someone I know."

"Who" Zexion said, frowning at Xigbar. " You're not talking about me."

Xigbar chuckled, waving his hand dismissively " Of course not." He smiled again then stepped away from the counter, crossing his arms. " What do you thinks gonna happen?"

"Only time'll tell…" Zexion said, staring into his coffee. "We can just hope they get along. And if it works out that they'll see things our way."

XxX

"Gimme!" Larxene whined, gritting her teeth.

"No fair, I saw it first" Axel snapped.

They were fighting over the last meatball. Each of them had their fork stuck in it, trying to get it away from the other.

" Meat isn't good for you, ya know" Axel tried to reason.

" Then why would you want it?"

"I don't care about my health."

" We'll you should. In fact you go on a good foods diet and I'll just continue wrecking mine."

"Nah, I don't think so. Besides if I ate any less I'd die" Axel said, poking his ribs.

"Your fault not mine" Larxene said, finally wrestling the meatball away from him. She grinned, holding up her fork victoriously.

Axel frowned, holding his hands up in surrender. " Fine, you win. All hail the princess of must-eat-more."

Larxene glared at the defeated Axel and sighed, holding out her fork. " FINE" she snapped. " Just take it. It's loaded with fat anyway."

Axel wasn't the ' awww no it's okay. You won fair and square types'. He grabbed her fork with a smile and shoved the wad of processed cow in his mouth.

Larxene snorted and got up, crossing her arms. " Jeeze you look like a thirteen year old that just got laid" she growled.

Axel just grinned his lazy lop-sided grin and chuckled. " Thanks" he said, getting up.

"Pfft, I didn't want it anyway" Larxene said and shrugged as if she didn't care. They both knew better though.

Axel grinned again and turned for the door. " I know," he said eloquently. He departed, leaving her to stand alone in the room, pondering her thoughts. Larxene sighed, picking up the dirty plates.

"Asshole makes me do the dishes" she snarled out loud. On the inside though she was giddy as a kitten in a sack full of catnip. The way he had stared at her for a moment, the sly seductive smile on his face. ' I know' he had said, though there were more intentions behind that than just about the meatball.

"Asshole" she repeated again, though smiling. They understood each other, even if it went unspoken…

XxX END MINI CHAPTER XxX

(Author's Note: well hope you enjoyed this random mini-chapter. It's really insignificant on a larger scale. You get another slight peak at what Xigbar and Zexion are up to though. Speaking of Xigbar I bet you didn't know he was a chef huh? Neither did I. The idea came from another fan fic I wrote that I never got around to publishing where Xigbar was a waiter. Marluxia didn't make it into this chapter… sorry. Maybe I'll do another mini-chapter of Larxene and Marluxia hanging out. Any way I'll be out with the end of the exams soon enough. Then it'll be getting more interesting. Till my next chapter, so long. )