DISCLAIMER: not mine
hey so this is kind of a filling chapter but not really because it does shows more about what the kisses meant, and it will explain some behavior in the future, like i said in a 21st century love story i´ve got a lot going on right know and its not excuse but i am doind my best not to fail you guys, so have that in mind if this chapter isnt the best one.
thanks to all the people that reviewed last chapter, they were awesome!
luke: yay! i got a that was cute from you for the first time, i´ll take that as a writter´s acomplishment haha í was a little worried it was going to be a little to much, but you guys seem to like it, i can take cute, i love cute, but i hate cheesy.
Soon became later and before they knew it the trip was over, kind of weird trip but not in a bad way, it had been really fun and it had felt good for all of them, summer on her side was faced with this unknown but comforting feelings, not only with Seth but with the whole family, a family that in so little time felt like her own.
For Marissa, she was as confused as hell, even more than she used to be and she thought that wasn't possible, she has an amazing boyfriend seriously, he is really sweet, he really cares about her and he treats her like she's the most precious thing in the world, but then there's Ryan, who she loves, the one and only, and she hates is, so bad, why cant she just love Luke the way she loves Ryan, why cant he just leave her alone, why cant she just be back with Ryan, hell why cant she get at least one fucking answer.
And even more confused we have Ryan, who actually knows what comes next but refuses to accept it, he was hope that maybe one day Marissa would forget him for being an ass and screwing up so long ago, because he loves her oh! And she loves him, he knows and so does she, but then there's always something holding her back and its not Luke, guess its true when they say you should take the first chance you get because you may not get another one.
But Seth doesn't seem to worry about that, he's had a second change, and he has no idea, all he knows is that she makes him go crazy, she makes him feel so different yet better than ever but its so confusing like he doesn't really get it, plus he just got out of a dramatic relationship and all he wants is something nice, something from which he cant get hurt, something that just feels good and that's that.
and Kirsten is exited and so scared and happy all together, she's exited about this sort of relationship thing Seth and summer have going on, and she's happy because summer is great, she never thought that girl could be so much, but then she cant help but to be scare because she knows her son, she knows the pain he just went through, she knows sometimes things just don't happen, but she also knows worrying doesn't change a thing, she knows is not her place and she hopes Seth can be able to face the great thing that lays in front of him.
Sandy, well sandy is sandy and he's always so happy and nice and funny that one thinks he lives in his own world but the truth is he's probably the less self centered one, the one who doesn't think about himself and what's his feeling instead he focuses on trying to figure out what goes trough everyone else's head but he doesn't over analyze things, everything will come to place at its own time, it always does.
The ride back home is quiet, contrary to the first ride, now even though each person has different views of the trip there's this constant common question in every single head "what's gonna happen next" but I guess that's always going trough everyone's heads, and there's never an answer.
Seth's pov
For now its better not to think, there's time and time always clear things up right? Time will make it better, it always does...it has to, I mean there's really not much I can do, fuck why am I so confused, I know I like her, I know I loved kissing her, I know I can love her but then there's this thing holding me back and i don't know what it is but i am not ready to deal with it, i just hope summer can somehow wait, i hope to find whatever i am looking for soon but most of all i hope things cleat up for me.
Ryan: hey man you've been quiet all ride, are you ok?
Ryan took Seth out of his thoughts and that was good because the way things were going he was going to end up even more confused.
Seth: hum yeah yeah , just thinking i guess
Ryan: that was a pretty weird trip wasn't it?
Seth: yeah... but I don't think in a bad way
Ryan: are you kidding me, it was probably the best we've had
Seth: yeah I'm not gonna forget it
Ryan: you know this trip reminded me how much i missed summer
Seth: yeah I'm glad she's back
Ryan: the thing i love about her is that no matter how much she changes, she's still the same, its like in this pass years since we last saw her, I've changed and a lot, so have you and lets not mention Marissa but summer... summer is just summer, just as funny, clever and special as always.
Seth couldn't help but smile, it was true, summer could grow up, they could all grow out and everything could be completely different from how it used to be, but somehow over all that new crap there was the old spark summer would always bring along with herself.
Ryan: Seth you've got to stop smiling like an idiot, Ryan said taking Seth back to reality once again and showing a smile on his own
Seth: shut up
Ryan: seriously man what's going on between you two, and don't even try to say nothing because we both know is not nothing
Seth: i... just... I don't know
Ryan: how come?
Seth: well, it's complicated
Ryan: it always is and it only gets worse
Seth: well thanks Ryan that's comforting
Ryan: what i mean is that it's not gonna get any simpler unless you face it
Seth: but is there anything to face?
Ryan: what do you think Seth?
Seth: i really don't know what to think anymore, i mean yes she's awesome and she's so funny and i love the way we interact, how we kind of fight but without fighting and how i feel so me when I'm with her and how just by holding her hand i feel like I'm flying which its pretty stupid i know but that's just what she does to me, she converts me into someone i don't know... but i love it.
Before Seth could go any further Ryan interrupted
Ryan: then what's the problem? I don't see the confusion
Seth remained quiet for a while as in thinking what to say, trying to come up with the right words but he could only say it one way, simple and real.
Seth: it scares the shit out of me; he said and looked at Ryan directly at the eye for the first time.
Ryan: i know, believe me and i understand, deep down we are all like that but you've got to decide if its worth it and you've got to do it soon, its summer we're talking about.
Seth: don't you think I know that? That's why its so hard, I know I've got to do something i just don't know what, Ryan I really like her and I think something pretty good could come out of this, and I don't wanna screw up, I don't wanna send her away again, I don't wanna be without her but I cant be with her right know.
Ryan: is this about Anna?
Seth: I don't know, i guess, look that was really hard on me, and it brought a lot of change to my life, change I'm still dealing with but I am not sure its done, i know something inside of me is changing, maybe I'm growing up, maybe I'm falling in love, maybe I'm just going through a rough phase, I don't know, but I really like summer and I don't wanna be with her not until i know who I am, not until i know what's going on, not until I'm sure I've really changed and I'm not going to hurt her.
Ryan: come on man, you're saying it like you're a bad guy
Seth: Ryan you know me, I know I am not a bad guy but I haven't been the best when it comes to girls
Ryan: but that's different, I'm not saying all you did was fine but summer is not just another girl, i mean you're really into her aren't you?
Seth: yes and urg that's the worst thing even though i really like her i cant picture myself with her, i don't know why, and there's also this pressure, see like you said its not just any other girl, she's summer which means that if by any mean i hurt her, either you, Marissa or my mom would kick my ass if not the three of you together! I just wish i could not like her this much.
Ryan: its not suppose to be that hard man, just don't over analyze it
Seth: what do you mean?
Ryan: look you like her and its obvious she likes you back, so you will eventually get it right, as simple as that.
Seth: you think?
Ryan: yeah look, you need time and knowing summer, she's no one to be pressured, she's told Marissa she isn't really looking for a relationship so neither are you but that doesn't mean you cant spend time with her.
Seth: i wanna spend time with her
Ryan: that's all that matters then, just let time take charge and it will be what it will be.
Seth: yeah i think your right. Thanks man
Summer arrived home finally after 4 short days, she immediately got in the shower and like always the hot water running down her naked body worked its magic and relaxed, then she did some much needed thinking, she had been talking to Marissa about all that had happened during the trip and she couldn't understand how fast she and Seth had gone from not seeing nor thinking of each other for long while to just like that be so close, well at least she thought they were, which brings the next question to mind, does he even care? I mean he acts like he does but why should she believe him when in past times all he has proven is how big of an ass he was, he may have change but how much?
But maybe there was no point in breaking her head trying to figure it out, maybe it was just one of those times when you get caught in the moment, it happens a lot in trips, like you're away from reality and things happen, maybe it was a one time deal, maybe it was just what it was or maybe it was nothing, either way those thought were ruining her so wanted relax time so she decided not to think, she decided to let time take over and answer all her possible questions at its own time.
Because lets face it what else can you do?
Well that's crap you can always speak, how the hell are they gonna know if both think there's no need for words, that time will make everything fall into place, but no sometimes all time does is get everything worse.
no idea whats going on? me either but still review if you can