DISCLAIMER: im really tired to make something up, long story short, its not mine.
Ok so its like midnight and I wrote this in like an hour, why am I telling you this, because it may not be my best work and you may find lots of mistakes, I'm sorry I'm half asleep, I just realised I am almost done with another chapter of my other story and I haven't written for this, and I had no intentions on doing it just yet, truth to be told I was scared to post more chapters because of the direction its taking from now on, but ifa made me realise I have her waiting so I owned to her, this is for you, even if you don't like it :(
"That son of a bitch" Mary said as summer finished telling her the whole story, and I mean everything that happened in the summer.
"So what did you do?" Oscar asked
"I just kept walking like I didn't know him, I really had nothing to say or do, its not like he is my boyfriend" she felt Scott's arm around her tighter, they were sitting together with Mary and Oscar in front of them.
"Well no, but there's definitely something going on" Mary said before taking a drink of her soda, after school they four had chosen to go eat and catch up, it had been a long summer, Mary had already told them about the 50 boys she meet and ignores now, Oscar and Scott didn't say that much and now Summer was telling her story.
"So did he call to apologize or something?" Scott asked finally speaking since she started telling everything.
"Yeah he called me like at midnight or something" summer said nonchalantly
"what did he said?" Scott went on, he rarely spoke whenever they discussed something, but when he did it was because he had something to say, and everyone else went quiet to listen.
"I don't know, he tried to explain but I wouldn't listen, I believe I told him, I'm tired and you need to check your voice mail, something like that and hung up"
Scott just glared at her
"What? I was sleepy, you know when I am sleepy I'm a bitch and I didn't wanted to hear it, I'm not mad I just I don't know, I don't care, and I don't want to see him or hear him"
"I know, and you have the right to feel that way, I just think you should have listened to him, give him a chance to explain"
Summer was about to speak but Mary took over, making Scott and summer look at her
"And explain what exactly? Didn't you hear what the messaged said, come on dude! That wasn't just a misunderstood"
"I know I just want to believe he's not that stupid"
"He's not the stupid one, I am" summer said slowly bringing the attention back to her
"That's not true sweetie" Mary reached for her hand
"No it is, and I don't say this in a sad pathetic blue way, I'm not hurt, I'm disappointed, of him because I expected better than that, but mostly with myself for expecting anything from him"
Everyone went silence, they knew from past experience she didn't wanted to hear any encouragement words in moments like this, she wanted to get it all out and not even be heard, just talk.
"I know him, and I hate guys like him, and girls like me that loose their panties just because they get called beautiful, how this did happen? I didn't even liked him in the first place"
"You didn't loose……...okay not done" Mary started but soon was interrupted and sat back again
"You now it's even funny" summer faked laughed " about a week ago or something I realized I was getting myself in deep shit, I hadn't been thinking and I knew it" she said this in a mad tone
"so I talked to Marissa and we had this awesome conversation but in the end nothing was clarified I was just even more confused so she told me to just be with him and realize if it was worth or if it wasn't, and I knew It wasn't," she calmed down a little before continuing
"he's not a bad guy I know that, but he's not worth it either and I knew that but I let myself by blinded by his sweet words and caring ways" the sarcasms and fake laugh joined the conversation once again and after that silence settled in again and Summer look liked she actually had tears on her eyes threatening to fall but they were tears more of angry that hurt.
"I guess I finally got my answer" she said slowly before taking a deep breath and all sings of tears were gone just as fast as they appeared.
Mary reached for her hand once again "I'm sorry sweetie"
Summer nodded "I am too"
Scott kissed her temple slightly and Oscar spoke for the fist time in a while
"I hate this dude, I don't even know him and I hate him"
"He's not really a bad guy, he's just ……" she couldn't find the word so Oscar helped her
"An idiot?"
"Well….yeah you could say that, I just ……don't know what was I thinking"
"You weren't thinking honey, hormones do that to you" she offered with a smile
Summer smiled despite herself, and after that everyone else did too, she felt scoot Hugh her tighter and whisper in her ear "it's his lost Summy, you deserve better" she nodded and then realized just how much she missed this, her friends, people that loved her and would never hurt her intentionally and if by any means they did, they would do anything to fix it, that's all she needed right know, Seth Cohen was nothing, he never was so why give him importance now, so what she had a good time she cant deny that, that she really was attracted to him, true, that she was even beginning to like him, yes but even if she loved him, she could move on, and she would, no matter how many falls it took, looking around herself she knew she had someone to help her up again and that's all that mattered now.
Summer dropped everyone off and then drove home, when she arrived she noticed Kirsten's ranch rover, she really didn't wanted to do this right now, she got off her car at the same time Seth came off the range rover.
"Summer" he called after her but she wouldn't acknowledge him
"Summer" he said a little louder but still she ignored him and kept walking up the stairs to her front door
"Would you just listen to me" he yelled, she stopped in front of the door but didn't even bother to turn back
"Just go home Seth" she opened the door and got in, leaving a very frustrated Seth outside, he cursed and yelled before getting in the car and speeding down the street.
Inside summer heard it all and rolled her eyes; she took her back away from the door where it had been previously resting and walked up to her bedroom, she needed to distract herself and fast.
Summer arrived at the pier, Marissa had called earlier and said she wanted to meet, she still didn't know a thing about Susan and Megan, Summer just said she hadn't seen them out of the dinning and Marissa buy it.
So when Seth told her to call summer and help him clear his mess, whatever that was, she did, she knew he really cared about her and she knew summer had freaked out about nothing before so it was probably just that.
They agreed to meet at the beach, it was kind of dark already and school was back so there wasn't that much people around, she stood there looking for Marissa, then she heard her name be called and turned around to find Marissa not alone but with Seth and Ryan.
"i should have known this was going to happen" summer said and turned around to walk away, Marissa stopped her though
"Summer wait, don't be mad, I was going to call you to meet, that's true but then Seth asked me this favour and I just figured you were freaking out again"
"Again?" Seth asked but no girl looked at him
"Ryan why don't we go for a walk" she looked at him and he got the hint "yeah let's go"
Marissa then turned to summer again "maybe you two can talk" she was about to walk away but the again summer stopped her and resumed her walking
"We have nothing to talk about"
It was Seth this time the one that stopped her by grabbing her arm and turning her to face him
"Summer just wait" he yelled and she stopped
"Don't you ever yell at me" she yanked her arm away and pushed him…hard
"I'm sorry, let's just talk" he took a step back
"You wanna talk fine how bout I talk and you listen, I am not mad……at you anyway, but I don't care either, leave me alone"
"Sum come on, at least hear him out" Ryan said
"Oh don't you even speak, I thought way better of you Ryan, I am not shocked about Seth, but you! come on dude you are way better than that!"
"And I'm not?" Seth asked hurt but more than that upset
"No you aren't and I already knew that, I told you I am not mad at you, it's all my fault I should have known better"
"What's going on?" Marissa asked and got everyone's attention, they all stayed quiet though
"Seth why is she this mad?" no answer
"And what do you have to do with this Ryan?" he looked away
Finally she looked at summer, the only one who would have the guts to speak
"Summer?" Summer let out a frustrated sight
"I'm not the one tell you that, you should ask them" she referred to Seth and Ryan "especially Ryan but if you really wanna know listen to Seth's voice mail, that's how I found out" summer began to walk away and then stopped and turned around
"All I can tell you is that we need to stop pretending we are their girlfriends because we are not, you have a boyfriend and I don't want one, we all can do better than this and we should" and with that she began to walk away again, they all stood there in silence watching her go until Marissa spoke
"What was she talking about?" she eyed them both
Then Ryan signed and walked over to Seth
"Give me your cell phone man" Seth handed it to him and he put on the voice mail for them all to hear.
"hey Seth its Megan, I was just calling to see if we are still on for tomorrow, I know you're probably just going because Ryan asked you to, because Susan made him ask you but we had fun last time and you're a good kisser so I don't see why we cant have fun tomorrow, give me a call, bye"
"What are you…….. stupid?" Marissa asked Seth he just laughed sarcastically
"What the hell it's wrong with you" she walked over to him and pushed him
"What the hell it's wrong with you" he yelled at her
"I told you once that summer was different, I told you not to mess with her" she yelled at his face, she dropped her tone and slowly added
"I really thought you had changed, I was expecting more than this"
"Yeah well everyone seems to think that"
"I'm so glad this happened now that she can get you out of her life and walk away"
"oh no, she's not walking away just like that" now he was mad and on his way behind summer, both Marissa and Ryan watched him speed out towards the direction she had just left a few minutes ago, then Marissa looked back at Ryan.
"Who the hell it's Susan?"
"Summer wait" she heard him call after her, he sounded out of breath, so he must have been running, god she really didn't want to this now! Can't he understand that?
"What do you want!" she turned around and yelled at him to his surprise, and then he remembered just how angry he was.
"I want to talk and I want you to listen!" he said louder
"Fine! Talk" she was matching his tone
"I'm sorry okay, I was doing Ryan a favour, I just went out with this girl for him"
Summer laughed and turned around
"I was really expecting something better than that"
"Summer….." he started but she turned around and interrupted him, they had reached her car by this point.
"I don't want to hear it Seth, I don't care, and you don't have to explain anything to me, as far as I know we are nothing but friends"
"You know that is not true"
"Well then that's the problem" she opened the drivers door but Seth grabbed her arm before she could get in
"Ok, if I have no obligation towards you, and you are not mad, then why the hell are you shouting me out!" he yelled to her face, he was trying to work things out and she just wouldn't help
"Don't touch me!" she pushed him "and don't yell at me" she pushed him again
They became silent again
"I'm sorry okay, I don't want to yell at you anymore than you want to be yelled at, I just want to talk, and I don't know what you want I don't understand you"
"I want you to leave me alone, I'm sorry it had to be like this Seth, I'm not mad at you, I am mad at myself for being so stupid" she closed her door hard
"I knew something like this was going to happen, about a week ago I told Marissa this wasn't good and she told me to find out if it was worth it, and I knew it wasn't but still I choose to believe it was, well last night I got my answer"
"Summer its not like that, you know its not like that" he was hurt now, not mad, not angry just hurt
"Ok, then tell me what it is like" she was way to tired to keep fighting
"I'm sorry okay, you know I care about you, i just…..i don't know, this thing between us was just so confusing and intense and I just……. I have issues okay?, I have issues and I need to work on them, I know, what Anna did to me wasn't easy, I am still dealing with it, you know I'm not a bad guy, I have faults, I'm sorry, but I know I wanna change, I and I want to do it for you" he walked to her and slowly brought his hands to her face
"I'm sorry okay" he said and she looked away
"I'm sorry too" she said above a whisper
" I know you have issues and I know you are not perfect and I can live with that, but I cant do this, you need to work on you issues and you need to do it for yourself and taking your time to do it, but I cant wait for you to do it, I cant be the thing you hold onto, I don't know what I want but I don't want to get hurt, I've through a lot already and I cant deal with this, I'm sorry" she turned around to get into her car but she only managed to open her door before he stopped her again
"Summer wait, don't do that come on, I don't know what we have going on, I don't want you to fix me, I'm not broken, I just want us to find out whatever we have or can have, I know this is the way it should be, I can feel it, we have history, we can do better than this and you know it"
"Its not always the way it should be" summer said
"Us and only us have the power to decide the way it should be summer"
"exactly and I am choosing there isn't going to be an us ,there never was, I have so much to lose I am willing to risk, there's Ryan and Marissa and your family, I love them all and I don't want to ruin that" she said and got quiet, after a moment she went on slower this time.
"but most of all I don't want to ruin the good memories I have from you,because its not gonna work out Seth, we both know that, i had fun, it was great while it lasted but i knew it wasnt going to be long, we had a good time that's all." she paused as if thinking what she was going to say next
" you know it seems like we only work on the summers, maybe that's it, summer love, so just enjoy it, remember it and move on" she said and got in her car
"Ok I know that, but we….." she interrupted him
"Seth don't" she said louder than normal but not yelling, juts loud enough to get his attention, "its over...I'm done" she said before driving off leaving him there, just standing in the middle of the parking lot watching her drive away, out of the parking lot, out of his life.
i know i know, but still tell me what you thought, was it way to dramatic? did i just loosed all the work i had acomplished? is it completely out of reality now?
i really want to knwo what you think but i wont apologize, its been planed like this since the start, this is how it had to be but dont think this is the end, not even close.