Title: Ixiannithialsisa
Author: ChibbieTirstanandLancelotsGurlLovR4Ever (Surreal's other, evil
personality)
Rating: R to be safe
Genre: Mary Sue...I mean, Horror
Summary: She's beautiful. She's thin. She's going to change the
destinies of the Knights in a way no one has imagined.
Beta Notes: No Beta. I didn't want to cause the delightful Evil
Jacquie or ScoutLover to flee in terror. Any mistakes are mine and
should be scorned appropriately.
Disclaimer: The original legends are not mine, nor are the characters
from Disney's "King Arthur", whom this particular travesty is based on.
I beg of all those involved with the movie to not hunt me down and
kill me, and my sincerest and deepest apologies to Tristan and Mads.
Notes: This fic was born because of some girls I RP'd with did not
like how I played Tristan, and suggested that he was a tap-dancing
girly-man. So I wrote this as a tribute to them. It will be updated
whenever I am motivated to add to the horror.
Read at your own risk.
Chapter Three:
A-B-A-B
Let us turn our attention to the Very First Quest of Ariel Belle. When I last spoke to you, my child, Ariel had awoken from her swoon to find herself in a dock. A man named Quintus had told her to find a Mr. Smith in the town, and so Ariel, still mourning her lost love, went searching for this mysterious person. Not without a few complications, of course…
Ariel walked through the city and took in her surroundings. It took her exactly three seconds to decide that she hated it, and she didn't understand why anyone would want to live in ancient times. It seemed so dirty and well…smelly. Ariel wrinkled her delicate nose in disgust.
She had nearly trod into a pile of manure. "That is so disgusting," she groused to herself. "Don't these people have sanitation workers?" She carefully stepped around the manure, only to step into a suspicious looking puddle of water. Luckily Ariel had chosen to wear her sneakers this day, so none of the water splashed onto her shoes, but it was still distressing that the nasty liquid had touched her expensive shoes.
Ariel hopped out of the water and shook one foot and then the other to get any excess drops off before she continued to walk the crowded streets of the city. A crowd of raggedly dressed children ran around her and she shrieked as the little monsters nearly knocked her off her feet. It wasn't that she didn't like children; it was just that she liked them clean and quiet.
When the children had finally vanished from sight Ariel tried once more to figure out where she was. The roads were poorly marked and she couldn't read them anyway, as she didn't read Roman. She was about to give up and go back to the docks to yell at Quintus and his lousy instructions when she saw the man in the suit and sunglasses. He appeared to be looking at her before moving off into the shadows of an alley.
"Hey!" Ariel shouted, and ran after the normally dressed man. She turned the corner of the alley and paused to allow her beautiful teal eyes (( A/N: I changed her eye color to see if I like it. )) to adjust to the darkness of the alley. The man was waiting for her. He motioned for her to follow him, and then he ran off again. Ariel had to work hard to keep up with him, but she was a cross-country champion at her school so she managed.
Finally the man led her to a much nicer area of the town, and ran into a villa. Ariel paused briefly to catch her breath, and she noticed with a bit of surprise that the men working in the garden were also dressed in suits and sunglasses…and they all bore an eerily similar appearance to each other.
"That's kind of weird," Ariel said to herself. But then again, no one else on the street seemed in the least bit bothered by the men so she shrugged her slender shoulders and walked up to the door of the villa. She knocked, and another man wearing a suit answered the door.
"Welcome," he said to her. He didn't sound very welcoming. In fact, the man was a bit creepy. Ariel flashed her brilliant smile at him and he sighed heavily. He hated this job. He hated meeting young ladies with flashing white teeth, and he hoped this one would last longer than the others. "My name is Smith. I am here to serve you." He sounded more like he'd rather stab himself in the heart than serve her, but Ariel pretended that he was a nice person.
"Oh, you're the one I'm looking for," Ariel said. She frowned when the man shook his head and said, "Follow me. I will take you to the one you must speak with." He led her to a room with frescos of ugly people eating at a party, and left her there. He bowed somewhat stiffly to her and walked out of the room, muttering that Mr. Smith would be with her shortly.
Ariel shivered as she looked at the frescos. She couldn't remember ever being around so many ugly people all at once, even if they were just paintings. The way they were gorging themselves on food was disgusting, and eww, was one of them puking into a basket…?
"I see that you are enjoying my artwork," said a monotone voice. He sounded similar to the servant and she looked up, about to give Creepy Man a piece of her mind, but she stopped. There was a man standing in front of her with long dark hair. His ears were delicately pointed and he was gorgeously arrayed in a lavender silk robe with dark blue threading and silver embroidery. He was also wearing sunglasses. "I am Rubius Marcus Smith. I prefer to go by Agent Elrond though, if you do not mind. I have been expecting you, Ariel Belle." ((A/N: I bet you'll never guess who I combined together to make this character? squeals ))
A-B-A-B
Although Ariel had been put off slightly by the horrid artwork of ugly people and the flashy robe, she soon discovered that Agent Elrond was a very smart man. For one thing, he seemed to know much about what had happened to her, and he led her on a walk through his beautiful garden as they spoke.
"The hour grows late and the time is short. You must take the One Ring," he said, then he paused briefly. "My apologies. Wrong quest. Ariel Belle," he said in his monotone voice, his eyebrows waggling wildly behind the sunglasses. "You must find a Roman and marry him. This is part of your doom—I mean destiny."
"But Agent Elrond," Ariel protested, her beautiful voice rippling with sorrow. "I can never marry anyone…I have lost my one true love and I have vowed to never love again!" The last was wailed dramatically and she threw herself on Agent Elrond and wept bitterly. Agent Elrond grimaced, his eyebrows raising up so that they seemed to nearly fly off his head as he gently disengaged the sobbing girl from him.
"But you must marry a Roman," he explained patiently. "Or at least find one to become engaged to. All will be revealed in time to you."
Ariel finally stopped weeping and brightened up. "Well, if I must suffer through a loveless marriage, then that is the way it must be," she said with a brave face. Agent Elrond invited her to stay for dinner, and she agreed. She was thin but she could eat anything she wanted and never gain any weight, so Ariel was not worried about losing her stick-thin yet well-muscled figure.
"Excellent," Agent Elrond stated in a voice that sounded more like it was ready to proclaim that the world was going to end in five seconds, "You go refresh yourself. You will find some proper attire in your room and then we will call you for dinner."
And so Ariel had finished the first part of her first quest, which was to find Mr. Smith. So Ariel went to bathe her body, for she felt icky after walking around in an Ancient Roman port town, and she dressed herself in her new outfit, which fit her shapely body perfectly. I will continue this tale tomorrow, my child, and explain in excruciating detail what outfit our young adventurer was given, and of the many troubling things she discovered at dinner.
---TBC
Ok, so I've decided that Ariel's eyes are going to change with her mood and stuff, 'kay? Great!