Title: Ixiannithialsisa
Author: ChibbieTirstanandLancelotsGurlLovR4Ever (Surreal's evil alter-ego)
Rating: R to be safe
Genre: Mary Sue...I mean, Horror
Summary: She's beautiful. She's thin. She's going to change the destinies of the Knights in a way no one has imagined.
Beta Notes: No Beta. I didn't want to cause the delightful Evil Jacquie or ScoutLover to flee in terror.
Any and all mistakes are my own and should be flamed appropriately
Disclaimer: The original legends are not mine, nor are the ones from Disney's "King Arthur", whom this particular travesty is based on.
I beg of all those involved with the movie to not hunt me down and kill me, and my sincerest and deepest apologies to Tristan and Mads.
Notes: This fic was born because of some girls I RP'd with did not like how I played Tristan, and suggested that he was a tap-dancing girly-man who likes to wear dresses and glittery eyeshadow. So I wrote this as a tribute to them. It will be updated whenever I am motivated to add to the horror.
ABAB
The enemy had her surrounded. Ariel arched a perfectly shaped brow and her full lips quirked up in a playful smile. Yes, she was surrounded, but Ariel was not afraid. She had been training with Elrond for two days now and she had received his highest praise. So when one of the enemies leapt at her, Ariel simply dove to the left, rolled and came up shooting her Desert Eagle .44 Magnum, blowing the robot to bits of shredded metal.
As she gained her feet Ariel pulled a second Desert Eagle .44 Magnum from her hip holster and she fired two handed at the approaching robots. Sparks and bolts and other robot components flew through the air. All the while Ariel kept backing up until her back hit the wall. Although she had taken out many robots, there were still five of them surrounding her, and her guns were now empty. So she dropped them and withdrew her Moon Blade Fairy Forged Katana and slashed a graceful arc through the air, her sharp blade slicing through the robots easily.
The robot bits vanished suddenly. Ariel was still examining her equipment carefully for damage when the exotic Amazon rainforest background shimmered and vanished, replaced instead by the gleaming white walls of Agent Elrond's Danger Room.
"Well done," Agent Elrond intoned. "If you had been by my side I would never have lost to that Neil." (( A/N: I LOVED Matrix!! Neil is soooooo cute!!!)) The elf's eyebrows seemed especially waggly today, and Ariel asked anxiously, "Is something wrong, father?"
"No…but we must talk about your destiny," Elrond said as they walked out the doors of the Danger Room and began walking through the hallways of the Last Homely Villa. "Trouble is heading right towards us, and though I want to protect you," here the ageless Elf paused and turned to look at Ariel with tears shimmering in his blue eyes. "Ariel, you will be right in the middle of all of it. Promise me that you'll stay safe!" Despite his desperate attempt to stay calm, his voice wobbled dangerously close to a wail.
Ariel's eyes widened with wonder at Elrond's words. "Oh, father," she said, and she patted his arm comfortingly. "I promise I'll be safe. But…what is this destiny you keep speaking of? All I've ever wanted was to be the most popular girl at school and to be the prom queen…I don't know if I can handle this."
Agent Elrond smiled mysteriously. "Well, I can tell you from experience that you are twenty times better than Buffy ever was…if she could fulfill her destiny, you shouldn't have a problem. Come, we will talk more of this destiny later. We can wait another few weeks before we have to really worry about it."
Then Agent Elrond smiled. "I have a surprise for you. Come with me." Mystified by her father's sudden smile, Ariel followed him, and wondered what he had in store for her now.
ABABAB
Daddy-kins – that is, Agent Elrond – led Ariel Belle down the corridors of the Last Homely Villa until they reached a room filled with many bolts of fabrics. There were many colors and textures to choose from, and Ariel gasped in delight at her new surroundings. On the far wall of the room, many shelves were lined with baskets filled with gems of every shape and size.
"I know you like your room, but I thought that perhaps you could choose how you wish to decorate it," Agent Elrond said with a small smile. Then he added softly, "You also need to take the next step in choosing proper attire to fit in with the rest of society. I know you are interested in designing clothes, so come up with a few sketches and we'll create your new wardrobe."
"Oh thank you!" Ariel cried, throwing her arms around Elrond. He smiled and hugged her back. It was nice, after his wife had been eaten by orcs and his stupid daughter and sons had chosen to become humans that he finally had someone who loved him.
"Have fun, my dear. I'll see you in a while. Also, if you see Boromire, tell him I'm looking for him. He's been stealing anything little and gold he comes across and calling it his 'precioouuuusssssss'. I think he needs some counseling."
"Oh dear. Poor papa." Ariel's tinkling laugh filled the air. "If I see him I'll send him your way. Don't get too dusty in your study." A knock on the door interrupted the conversation. A handsome man with dark hair and blue eyes was standing in the doorway. He looked tired, and it was obvious by the dirt-covered clothes that he had just finished a long journey. Ariel, despite her vow to never love again, perked up a little at the sight of the man, who glanced at her nervously before looking at Elrond.
"Ah, Aragorn," (( A/N: Aragorn is soooooo hot!!11!) Elrond said. "You have finally returned to me. We must seek counsel together immediately. Meet me in my study. We have much to talk about. Ariel, I will see you shortly."
Agent Elrond's eyebrows were drawn together, which meant he was particularly concerned about something. Ariel wanted to stay with the pretty man, but she sternly reminded herself that she could not love again, and instead she went to picking out anything and everything that she could find in pink for her new room.
Remember me? I'm the narrator. Story exposition time! Aragorn was Elrond's mysterious adopted son. He had just returned from the wilderness, where he had been secret masculine rituals (not bathing for weeks at a time and smoking 'weed'), and also, he had been tracking the well-known Arthur and his Knights, as Elrond had instructed.
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When Elrond entered his study, Aragorn had already poured them some muirvor, a special elf drink that made you drunk really fast. Aragorn handed the glass to his father and waited for the older man to be seated before he finally sat down himself.
"So you have returned," Elrond intoned. "What news have you brought for me?"
Aragorn shifted on the chair, uncomfortable with the direction of the topic. It seemed very strange to him, but he was fairly sure that until two weeks ago, he had never heard of this 'Arthur', nor of a place called 'Britain', but it all seemed hazy and if he tried to focus his thoughts too long on it, his memories faded.
"I found the one you were seeking. Arthur is a Roman commander, and is well liked by his men, who are not native to this land. They are only a four day journey from here…I did not contact them as you requested. But I am curious to know why they are so interesting to you, father. Are they our enemies?"
Agent Elrond had watched Aragorn closely, and he frowned at the signs of exhaustion on his son's face. He would mix up a brew for this Man he had adopted and send him off to bed in a short while. "No, they are not our enemies. They are important to the future of our world, though. Did you…happen to notice anything unusual when you watched them?" Elrond asked casually.
Aragorn shook his head. "I don't think so…but I don't know enough about them to know –"
"You didn't see any…strange colors in their clothes? Lavenders, pinks…no tulle or brocade?" Elrond pressed. It was important to know, but he didn't want to tip Aragorn off to anything quite yet. Dealing with this child had always been difficult, because of his strong-will and his own special destiny.
Obviously puzzled but not alarmed, thanks to the soothing effects of the muivor, Aragorn again shook his head. "No, nothing of the sort. Father, what is going on?"
"All will be shared in good time, my son," Elrond intoned once more. "All in good time. Come, you must rest, so that you may join us for dinner. As you see, we have a new guest, and boy, do we have a surprise for you!"
So saying, Elrond led his son to his son's room so that he could get some well-deserved sleep.
What will Aragorn's reaction be to his new sister? And why is Agent Elrond being so mysterious? Those questions, my child, will be in the next chapter of Ariel's Tale.
Tbc
Unless no one gives me any reviews and then I'll never write any more!!!!!11!