As Edward and Alphonse Elric continued with there journey through the 'mysterious land of the unknown things that creep people out', as Edward had nicknamed it, they came across a split path. Ed looked down both ways to see any sign of familiarity, but the only signs that he saw were ones that said YOU HAVEN'T BEEN THIS WAY. Ed sighed, ignoring the signs and leaning on Al.
"I give up. I don't know how to get out of this place," he sobbed. Al patted him on the shoulder.
"Maybe we should just try and make our way back the way we came," Al suggested.
"Don't you think I've thought of that?!" Ed said, annoyed.
"If you had, you would have done it already," Al retorted. Ed mouthed something out of the vision of Al. He had thought to go back, but he was too afraid to face what weirdness he had first seen when he had entered this strange land. He had hoped he wouldn't see anymore disturbing things, but his hopes had been destroyed every step further he had taken.
"Are you lost?" came a voice from somewhere in the trees. Ed and Al looked around but saw nothing but the crescent moon. Ed looked behind him for a source to the voice, but saw nothing.
"Hey, Ed," Al said, sounding a little worried.
"Did you find who said that?" Ed asked, turning to him. But all Al did was point to the crescent moon. "Yeah, so? We've seen a moon before –" As Ed continued to look at the moon, he noticed that it was swaying back and forth. It began to grow wider, as if grinning at the brothers' astonishment. Slowly, a purple cat began to fade in on the tree branch, the crescent moon turning out to be his smiling mouth. The cat looked down at the two with curiosity. Al's armor shook, while Ed only looked up, wide-eyed.
"Are you lost, dear lads?" the cat reiterated.
"Uh…err…phh," Ed stuttered, fainting onto Al.
"I didn't mean to scare you," the cat laughed. "Well, only a little."
Al, regaining his thought, said, "We've lost our way. We don't know how to get home. Could you help us?" Al gasped as he noticed what the cat was doing.
"I'm sorry, I can't help you," the cat said as he stood on his head, literally. He had taken his head off of his shoulders and was balancing on it with his paws. "The only way here is the Queen's way. And she doesn't really like sharing it. She just loves enforcing it."
Al looked at the cat in bewilderment. Ed, regaining consciousness, looked up at the cat. "That's a crazy cat," he muttered to Al as he stood up.
"Why, thank you," the cat said, taking Ed's comment as a compliment. "Everyone here is pretty much the same. We're all crazy, mad, psychotic, etc… It's just a matter of getting used to. You two will be crazy soon."
"I think I already am," Ed replied. He rubbed his head as the cat jumped down in front of them. The brothers took a step back, not sure if this creature was safe to be around.
"Well, that marvelous! Would you like a glass of milk? And you, a can opener?" the cat asked, holding up a glass of milk to Ed and a can opener to Al.
"That's so insensitive!" Al sobbed
"Hey! Get that stuff away from me! Are you trying to kill me?" Ed yelled. Al sighed at his overreaction and his inattentiveness to his brother. The cat merely chuckled.
A voice from the sky called down to them. "Edward Elric."
"Is there really a God!?" Ed and Al asked, quivering in fear.
"No, no," the cat laughed. "That's the Writer of this story. She makes all of this happen."
"Curse you, Writer! How could you do this to me?!" Ed yelled.
"It was a challenge from another writer," the voice replied. "Nothing against you guys."
"Oh, well that makes everything better," Ed said, sarcastically.
"Ed, please don't argue with the Writer. She might do something horrible to us!" Al pleaded. Ed realized that this was true. They both flung themselves to the ground.
"Oh, Mighty Writer, we beseech you," they both chanted. The cat merely giggled at the sight.
The Writer laughed maliciously at the praise. "That's not what I want, though it's quite nice. I was just going to inform you of something, Edward."
"Oh, well," Ed started, standing up quickly in embarrassment. "What would the mighty Writer like to tell one of her puppets?" He quickly noticed his mockery, and said, "I mean – and what's that you wanted to tell me?"
"Well, I was informed, that in my last chapter, there was an incident…where you ate your cereal – with milk."
"Brother?" Al asked, worriedly as Ed ran over to a bush and began throwing up.
"Well, just thought I would let you know. Trah la lah la lah," the voice sang. And all was quiet again.
"This is all your fault!" Ed yelled, raising his fist to the sky. "Damn it!"
"Well, that was quite exciting," the cat chimed, smiling widely. "I enjoy having conversations with the Writer, she is very unusual."
"And very sick! Who would do this to anybody? Maybe she's in league with the Colonel," Ed yelled, infuriated. A large mass of kittens fell from the sky and onto him.
"Ohh," Al said as he ran over to the fluffy pile and began up kittens as putting them into his suit of armor. Ed's head popped out with a kitten on top.
"Ha ha, very funny," Ed mumbled, as he dusted a few more kittens off of him. "Al, put those down!" Al stopped, holding a kitten halfway in his armor.
"But, Ed!" Al sobbed. "They're so helpless." He held a kitten up to Ed.
"No, Al."
"Brother! You're so heartless!"
"Yeah, you're so heartless," said a voice down by Ed's feet. He looked down and saw a kitten version of the mysterious cat they had just met. Ed looked back up at the tree and saw that it wasn't there. He shrieked and jumped onto Al. Meowing of cats could be heard, echoing inside of the armor.
"Just tell us how we can go back home, you creepy cat!" Ed shouted. The purple creature jumped back onto his branch, full-size.
"Well, I would go and ask the queen, but she has a nasty temper," the cat replied.
"I think we can handle her," Ed said. The cat shrugged and jumped to the ground.
"Follow me," he said walking. Ed and Al were following, when the cat began to fade out again. They saw the little imprints of his paws in the dirt.
"Now wait a sec—" Ed started before Al nudged him roughly, indicating for him to just follow the tracks.
They came to a tree in the middle of the road and Ed kept his eyes on the paw prints. One side went around one side of the tree, while the other set went around the other. As if the cat had split in half.
"What kind of cat are you!" Ed exclaimed, stumbling into Al. Meowing could be heard from inside Al, but Ed took no notice. He was too busy studying the cat that could talk.
"I am the Cheshire Cat," came the cat's voice, which seemed to be behind them. Ed looked around stupidly, not knowing where to think the cat really was. He noticed that there were no more paw prints to follow.
"Hey! Where did you go?!" Ed called out. He looked around furiously.
"Where else would I be?" said the cat, from atop another branch. "Here is your passageway to the Queen of Hearts. Please mind yourselves and your manners. And be aware, that you probably won't come out of there alive." He began to laugh maliciously. Ed and Al looked at each other, not knowing what to think. The Cheshire Cat gently pressed his paws against a knob on the tree.
Ed and Al looked at each other as the bark on the tree split open, revealing another path. They began walking toward it.
"This will begin the final chapter in your story," the cat said in a deep voice. "Whether you live or die is still unknown. Edward and Alphonse Elric are you ready –" But the two had already walked through the hidden door. The cat looks around angrily, then out to you. "What would you like to see happen in the next and final chapter of 'Fullmetal in Wonderland'? Click on your choice, the votes will be tallied on a separate page. You can see the votes total once you vote."
-- See Edward fight the Queen of Hearts with Alchemy
-- See Alphonse go against the Queen of Hearts in croquet
-- See the Writer and Edward go head to head in a final battle to get home
-- See Alphonse faced Jaden in a Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel (vote this if you have no life)
-- See Edward and Alphonse transported to Hogwarts
-- See Edward play chess with the Trix rabbit
-- PLEASE VOTE NOW --
"Thank you for voting," the Cheshire Cat meows, clawing the side of the tree. "By now you have realized that you were foolish enough to fall for this little trick me and the Writer set up for you. Oh yes. Either you were foolish and tried to vote, or you were intelligent enough to continue on, probably reading more until you realized what you avoided. Give a round of applause for those who didn't try to vote. And now a round of applause for those who did vote, they were such good sports." The Cheshire Cat begins to chant a little song. It jumps to the ground and walks to his home tree, leaving Edward and Alphonse to Fate/the Writer.