Leela laid in her bed and looked up at her ceiling all the way back on Earth. She had managed to get her old job back, her knees ached from the begging and crawling for it though, she drew the line at jumping through flaming hoops though. She also wondered how Fry and Bender were making out at Planet Express, ever since the Professor had "snapped" he wasn't the most stable person to begin with, now he was Hitler's head attached to a great white shark with laser blasters mounted to his fins. She gazed at Nibbler who was sound asleep at the foot of the bed and soon closed her single eye to rest for the night.
Across town, The Professor sat still tied to his chair. Everyone at Mom's building had went home for the day, somehow he had been forgotten throughout the mix. His snores where the only sound other than the noises of the small janitorial robots that cleaned the halls. Even further away, Dr. Zoidberg lay in the dumpster beside the Planet Express building looking up at the night sky. The false Professor opened a window and emptied a can of trash on the smelly red lobster.
"Whats this? A chewed wad of bubble gum!" The doctor snatched it up and began chewing it. "Ha ha, irony at its best. My richest days come from not working!"
Dawn amazingly came to both planets at the same time. Fry awoke to the burning sensation that was stinging his eyes. The smell of cooking flesh began to tingle in his nostrils, and he thought of bacon. He slowly opened his eyes and saw a metallic figure up to no good, as usual.
"Bender what the hell are you doing?" He screamed in fear.
"Relax chump, I figured out how I can get Leela to like you better and make a few bucks off a stupid one eyed pirate!" Bender explained, taking a hand held laser scalpel away from Fry's eyelid.
"No thanks, I don't really think a pirate would like my eye, its not made of wood." Fry pushed Bender away.
Disgusted Bender through the still activated device into his chest plate. His entire torso began to glow red. He didn't seem to notice at first, but the pain shot through every receptacal in his entire metal body.
"Ahh! It burns it burns!" The Robot ran around the room." Its worse than the time I got robo herpes!"
Suddenly Doug burst into the dark room and turned the light on. He had a metal trashcan in his hand and was banging it with a stick. Fry rolled out of bed and hit the floor with a thud.
"What, whats going on?" He murmered
"5 mile run. Move it, move it!" Doug began to command like a Drill Sergeant.
Fry found himself running in the cool morning. His breath came out in huffs and puffs. Bender and Doug road behind in a golf cart.
"What….the heck does….this have to do with delivering packages?" Fry asked between breaths.
"Everything! A good delivery boy keeps himself in shape!" Doug screamed.
Bender opened up his chest plate and started to whip Fry with a whip he had stolen from the time he was a pharoh and began to whip him in his back.
"Move it, you disgusting fat body!" Bender began to scream.
After 4 more agonizing miles, Fry was now doing pull ups. Doug stood underneath him and was counting them off for Fry.
"One for the core, One for the commandant, One for the parcel delivery system." He growled after each one.
Fry's weak arms couldn't handle anymore he dropped from the bar. Doug walked over and slapped him in the back of the head.
"You disgust me! I will motivate you! You aren't worthy to be a delivery boy!" He continued to beat on the helpless lump that was Fry.
Finally the physical conditioning for the day had ended. Fry was especially thankful for this fact. He rubbed his sore arms as Doug had taken a position up front of a chalk board. He was drawing some kind of diagram. There were four houses an a stick man with a red squiggly line coming out of his head.
"Who's that suppose to be?" Fry asked.
"Well, well. What do we have hear a comedian? Drop and give me 50!" Doug growled.
With a sigh Fry dropped to the floor and started to do pushups. He couldn't even do one he was so sore from that morning.
"You have energy to ask dumb questions but you don't have anything to say to dear old Mr. Pushup? You disgust me maggot!"
After 2 weeks more on Doug's intense program, Fry's training was complete. He hadn't been in this good of shape, ever. He was changing into a brown uniform, customary to a 20th century UPS driver, the greatest delivery force of all time.
Doug had gotten the PE ship out of the mud and had it cleaned. He watched as Fry walked up to him. Fry shot a salute and stood at attention.
"Mr. Fry! Congratulations, you have shown me you can be a delivery boy in my beloved core!" He lectured.
"Sir, yes sir!" Fry replied.
"With your superior training you are the chosen one to save the galaxy from Mom's grasp. Do you understand?" Doug began to pace back and forth.
"I'd be lying if I said I understood anything, sir!" Fry replied.
"Good enough. Now remember, above all else, you are now the most powerful one man delivery company in the world. Make me proud!"
With one final salute, Fry boarded the repaired vessel and blasted off into the wild black yonder, that was called space. His eyes remained focused on the instruments of the sleek ship as it blasted towards its homeworld, Earth.
"Think we can handle these guys, Fry?" Bender asked from his consul.
"I don't know, all I do know is that I have no idea what the hell any of that training was suppose to enforce, and that there are 3 incoming bogies at 12oclock." Fry answered.
Bender opened up his chest plate and pulled out a severed hand with a watch still attached to it's wrist. It was 4oclock so he must have been using an archaic term for there were 3 enemies straight ahead. He took the helm and let Fry take his more natural position during an attack, the laser turret.
He attempted to blast the vessel in the center but all 3 reversed direction and increased velocity.
"Ahh. The space invaders maneuver. Ok fine, its Friday night, I have no date." Fry opened a small compartment and pulled out a bottle of orange soda and an old battered walkman. "A liter of Shasta and my all Rush mix tape. This is just like that time on the What If machine! No problem."
He pushed the play button on his ancient tape player and Tom Sawyer by Rush began to fill his ears. Time seemed to slow down the controls became one with his sure hands.
"Damn, he clipped my wing with that one! Reverse direction, increase velocity!" Walt ordered over his radio.
Walt and Larry began to change direction when Ignar didn't understand the command and smacked into Larry who flew directly into Walt.
"Der, sorry" Ignar apologized.
Walt couldn't even speak as he watched the Planet Express ship close in on them. He saw Fry's emotionless stare fade when he realized who the 3 pilots were.
"Hold it Bender. Those are Mom's sons, Moe, Larry and Curely." Fry called down to his best friend.
"The three stooges? Really?" Bender asked. His eyes began to zoom out of his socket for a better look.
Fry began to scan the radio frequencies until he found the same one the 3 craft were operating on. "What the hell do you guys want? You've been following me and toying with me. Give me one good reason I shouldn't blast you guys to the mushroom kingdom!" Fry demanded.
"Well, its simple. We were trying to knock Planet Express out of business. All we have to do is kill you, and well Mom will handle the rest." Walt whimpered, waiting for Fry to blast them.
"Mom has done nothing but created a monopoly of the entire planet. Robots, fast food, cell phones, even delivery. She's like the Virgin company when I was alive in the 20th century. Somebody has to stand up against her!" Fry
"We know, do you know what its like to live under her thumb? Try being her son! We don't really want to kill you, you seem to be a good guy. Please spare us!" Walt pleaded.
Fry took his finger off the trigger and soon Bender maneuvered the ship toward the damaged vessels. He opened the cargo bay and the planet express ship engulfed the smaller ships like a whale eating a smaller fish in the ocean.
Fry waited for the air lock to open once the cargo hold was ready to support breathing again. He watched as the 3 brothers emerged from their ships. Just to be on the safe side Fry brought a laser pistol and aimed it at them.
"There is no need for that, we are unarmed." Walt urged Fry.
"Der, not me!" Ignar dropped a laser weapon of his own onto the metal floor. The clank echoed through the empty cargo hold.
Before Walt could lunge toward the weapon to retaliate against Fry, he watched the weapon explode into nothing. He got back up and stared at Fry who was now holding a smoking laser pistol.
"Now what has Mom done, besides, the Professor is already going nuts last time I was there. He fired everybody except for me and my buddy, Bonder." Said Fry.
"I thought your friend's name was Bender." Larry corrected.
"Shut up, I can say what I want. I got the gun, remember?" Fry replied.
"Der, he does have a good point. We should listen to him." Ignar butted in.
Fry lowered the gun and accidentally pulled the trigger, nearly vaporizing his left foot.