Mew-chan: Hey, Mew-chan here. Thank you all so much for your reviews, so here is you long-awaited chapter three. I had to overcome a huge writers block to get this out, so remember, I've always got an open mind for suggestions for this story. :) I'd like to thank my sister who's helped me out here and there with writing this story. This chapter holds one of the biggest plot twists ever- we find out there really is a plot! (Insert gasps here) I know, even I was surprised. Oh, and by the way, I'm not sure where exactly Ritsu lives, so I just put him in the main house. xD Sorry. That was my best guess, though.

Disclaimer:

Mew-chan does not own Fruits Basket, (but she does like to think she owns Shigure, even if it is probably a supreme lie, please don't rain on her parade with flames) nor does she own IHOP, or more pancakes than can fit in a closet.

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And here it is:

Why Are You Nailing Bread to the Roof?

Chapter Three

(Here goes the dramatic music, feel free to play some:D)

Kyo struck a heroic pose. "We must find the tuna who caused my great injury!"

"Honda-san! Kyo used a big word!" whined Yuki.

"Were should we begin our search, O wise one?

Kyo thought for a moment, then said "Ritsu's place."

Two hours later, after much confusion and searching for a map, and random martial arts battles, they were at the main Sohma house. Hatori had come back to nailing bread to the roof, and Momiji was sitting in a lawn chair watching him.

"You missed a spot," called the rabbit.

"You aren't helping." Groaned Hatori.

"Das ist auch so!"

Thus, a shouting match began. They weren't sure what they were arguing about, but both believed they were right.

Yuki, who had the map, was busily trying to figure out where they got lost and why they were back at the entrance again. "We were just here, so we should be there, but why are we all the way over here again? And why is this map in Polish for Pete's sake?"

"I'd like some saké" said Tohru.

"Hey, Yuki-chan?" said Kyo in a ditzy voice, "Lemme see the map?"

"Did you say 'lemme' or 'lemming'?"

"Uh…" he thought for a while, "Lemme?"

"Than no."

"But what if I said lemming?"

"Did you?"

"Yeah?"

"Than, here you go!"

"Tohru wants some saké!" said Tohru

"Hey, if you hold this map upside down, it almost looks like it's in English!" exclaimed Kyo.

"Forget English, let's just ask for directions." replied Yuki.

"Are you kidding me?"

"C'mon let's ask Hatori!"

"No way, I'm not asking for directions!"

"What is it with guys and asking for directions?"

"Hiii Ritsu!" sang Tohru, waving to Ritsu, who happened to be walking by, "Where do you live?"

Ritsu waved nervously and said, "I live right behind you." He twitched.

"Okay, good! Look out, there's an evil tuna on the loose!"

Ritsu screamed and ran away.

"That was rude!" whimpered Tohru.

Kyo and Yuki shrugged, and they went into the house.

"Nobody locks doors around here, huh?" marveled Tohru.

"Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrre, Tuna fish!" called Kyo.

Yuki was searching through a pile a papers on the desk for helpful clues. Then, he found the most useful evidence they'd find that day… the IHOP blueprints. He looked at them, puzzled. He motioned to Kyo. Both inspected the map of the whole country, and then another one of the whole world. Little red x's marked the IHOP restaurants around the globe. The only one that didn't seem to be crossed out was right down the block from where they were standing- next to Kagura's house.

"What would a tuna fish want with pancakes?"

"I dunno…"

Tohru opened a closet in the next room. More pancakes than could logically fit in the closet came tumbling out, filling the room and burring Tohru.

"Honda-san, are you alright?"

They both heard a muffled yell from below the flat breakfast food.

"Where is she, you dang cat?"

"Under the pancakes!"

"Duh, I knew that, but where under the pancakes?"

"There's only one way to find out- EAT! Eat like you've never eaten before!"

"No way, do you know just how many calories are in those things?"

"No, how many?"

"Well, I would guess… a whole lot."

Suddenly, Tohru's arm shot up from under the pancakes like something out of a horror movie when the zombies come out to feed on the brains of the living or possibly the other zombies who are unlucky enough to be fresh.

"AHH!" yelled Yuki, wetting himself.

"Well, now I hope you don't expect me to eat those!"

After they successfully got Tohru out of the heap the breakfast, they sat down at the table in the living room.

"What could a single person want with all those pancakes?" wondered Kyo.

"Maybe he's actually got the evil tuna hiding somewhere in here, and he feeds it pancakes!" cried Tohru.

"Well, maybe the places marked on the map are the places where the tuna has gone, and maybe stopped for a snack during his evil deeds?"

"We have to warn everyone." said Yuki.

Little did they know, outside the gravy storm was just beginning.

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Mew-chan: Well, I hope you enjoyed this last chapter- like I said I had a writer's block. Please review, I'll be putting up the 4th chapter shortly after the 5th review, so if you want to see more here, a review will send me the message. I'm all randomed-out today… so, until next time, Ja ne!