Chapter 15- Once Before You

Hermione stood outside the castle, hugging Harry, Ginny and Ron as tears fell from her face. "I will miss you guys. Come see me sometime?"

"Of course Hermione." Harry said, hugging her again. "What will you be doing?"

"Minerva offered me a job as Transfiguration teacher when the new term begins. She's decided to retire for a while." Hermione said.

"Will you be here all summer?" Ron asked.

"I don't know, I think we might get a house after we get married. You will be at the wedding right, all of you?" Hermione asked hopefully. She and Snape had decided that they wanted to get married soon, within the next month. She hoped that the early date meant the Harry and Dumbledore could make it.

"I spoke with Dumbledore and he said that he didn't see any reason why we can't wait around for a month until the wedding." Harry said. Ginny just smiled and held tighter to him.

Hermione looked at Ron. "Will you be there?" She asked.

Ron looked at the ground instead of looking at her. Harry and Ginny muttered something about making sure they got all their bags and quickly walked away with another hug to Hermione. "Write me." Ginny yelled as she walked away.

Hermione looked back at Ron. "Ron, please come." She said in a sweet voice.

"Oh gods Hermione, I can't." He said frustrated. "I can't watch you marry Snape and wish..."

"Ron, don't be like that. We wouldn't have worked anyways, Snape or not." She said. She took his hand. "You are one of my best friends Ron, you have to be there. I couldn't do it if you aren't."

"Wow Hermione, no pressure on me or anything." He said. She giggled lightly. "Yes, I will be there." He said finally.

Hermione yelped and threw her arms around his neck and gave him a huge hug. With a kiss on the cheek, she let him go. "Thanks Ron, I'm glad you will be there. You write me too okay."

"All right." He said as he walked towards the train.

Hermione watched the train leave until it was nothing but a noise in the distance. She turned and walked slowly back up towards the castle. All the students have left for the summer; some of the teachers had left too. It was quiet in the castle and as she reached the front door, she realized that she didn't want to go back inside yet. She walked away from the door, turning the corner and heading towards the lake. Hermione lay down on the grass underneath the beech tree at the edge of the lake, where she used to do her homework with Harry and Ron. Now, the place seemed so lonely. There were no giggling girls dipping their feet in the lake, no boys fighting over something stupid, no romantic couples snuggled away from sight. It was just Hermione, the tree, and that lake. She inched up and ran her fingers through the water. She sighed loudly and removed her hand. Laying her head on her arms, she looked out over the lake. She began to think about conversations she had had out here, sunny days when she had laid in the grass surround by Ron and Harry as she did her homework. She felt her hot tears spill out of her eyes but she didn't bother to wipe them away again. She cried for a few minutes before she felt someone walk up to her. She looked up. "Hello." She said through her tears.

"Did they leave?" He asked her.

She sat up and let Snape sit behind her. Leaning against his chest, he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close. "Yes."

"Are you okay?" Snape asked her.

"Now that you are here, I am." She said, leaning her head back and kissed him deeply. She broke away and faced him.

"Why were you crying?" He asked concern in his eyes.

She smiled. He no longer tried to hide his emotion for her anymore, and she liked that. "Harry, Ron and I were best friends for seven years. Harry's going to be off searching for a way to kill Voldemort, Ron's going to be busy doing whatever it is that he wants to do, and I will be here teaching. Three very different worlds for three very different people."

"Well, Potter can't search for Voldemort once he's dead, so if Potter wins the battle, maybe he will teach here." Snape said, trying to give the girl some hope.

"Maybe." Hermione said. She stared off in the distance and watched the sun go down.

"Does this bother you that much, them not being here?" Snape asked.

Does he wonder if I have feelings for them? Do I have feelings for them? Of course not! I love Severus. I just miss having them near me. "Yes, it's strange not having them around. But, it isn't because I have some feelings for them, it's because they have been my support in everything. Without them, I feel like I will fall, like my support is gone." Hermione said.

Snape's arms tighten around her waist. "I wouldn't let you fall." He growled.

"I know." Hermione said. She snuggled into his chest. "Severus, I'm so glad that you entered my mind that day. It seems like such a long time ago, although it's only been a few months."

"Time flies by when you are in love." Snape said staring out as the sun set.

"Did you ever love someone before me, Severus?" Hermione asked.

"Yes, a very long time ago. But, she's dead now." Snape said his voice distant and sad.

"Tell me what happened?" Hermione asked, hoping that Snape would share a little more insight into the darker side of his life.

He sighed, but knew that the young girl had a right to know some of his darker life, before she truly made a commitment to him. He lifted up his sleeve, exposing the dark mark that he wore on his forearm. Hermione ran her fingers over it lightly, and Snape fought the impulse to pull back. He winced slightly, but she didn't notice. "In order to be worthy of the Dark Lord's mark, you had to give up someone that meant something to you in life. Most Death Eaters killed off mothers and fathers, some killed off their wives or children. But, I didn't have any family left, and there was no wife or kids. The closest thing I had was a woman, who I loved and who loved me deeply. But, it was a dark point in my life, even her light wasn't able to get through. The Dark Lord offered power, fame, and fortune. He told us, this would be our only kill. Most of us where fresh out of school and weren't malicious yet, except for a few. I had no other choice, it was power or love. I chose power."

Hermione traced the mark over and over again with her fingers. "You killed the woman you loved, to become a Death Eater." She summarized. "Then why become a spy for Dumbledore?"

"After Lily and Potter's deaths, I realized how wrong we were, how wrong the Dark Lord was. I was responsible for so many deaths; I wanted to save some lives before my own death. Maybe, secretly I hoped that I would fall in love again. Be able to marry, have children, and experience everything that I didn't have before." Snape said, more vulnerability showing.

"Have I fulfilled that?" Hermione said.

"Almost." He said, pulling her close to him. "I'll be the happiest man alive when you walk down that aisle and say 'I do'."

"Nothing in the world could stop me." Hermione said, and then snuggled tightly into him as they watched the sun set.

-x-

A/N: I updated a one shot that may become something else, call The Pain of the Past. At the moment this story is done. I will update two chapters a day and I will begin the process of writing a new story. If you stick with this and read the last chapter, it will explain in detail the new sequel.