Whoa, people it's been a long time since I -BlooDy-MaY- last wrote something for FF… I'm really sorry for leaving 'Votum' and 'True Feelings' on hold but I think that's all I can do about those two projects since I don't think I can come up with something for those two… So I guess that's how's it gonna be… at least until I can get some ideas from someone that can help me and share some inspiration with me…
Anyways… This new project is supposed to be 3 chapters long and I got the idea from something that happened and has marked my life horribly… I want you all to take a close look at this project and give me your opinion, because these are my feelings and my confessions. This is how I truly feel and how I think that someone who was very dear, someone that I STILL treasure more than anything and cherish with all my heart, feels or felt…
This one project (as many others) is dedicated to a very special person for me… You know who you are and wherever you are… my heart is still with you, just that you know I'll always be there for you as you were for me.
So this is going to be my first chapter of 'Fantasy', hope you all enjoy it and well… remember to leave a little opinion in your review people.
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Sources of inspiration for 'A Beautiful Lie': My life!
Main Theme of 'A Beautiful Lie': 'Le Trésor Interdit' song from the Chrono Cross OST.
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Chapter I: 'A Beautiful Lie'
.: Shuichi's POV :.
Everything's blurry, I can't see that well… Maybe it's because of the whole crying… Yeah, maybe it's because of that, I mean, it's the only thing that could have made me see this blurry, I've been crying non-stop since a couple of days ago… The day I found out that all I was living was a lie.
Just a lie… but such a beautiful lie that was… He… It was all because of him… He made me feel so safe, so loved, he made me feel as if everything was perfect, but I rather had wished I've never met him that night so many months ago. If I knew this was gonna happen to me, I'd rather would've failed on my singing career than depending on his 'love' for inspiration.
Everyone was right… He was a cold hearted bastard, and I was so damn blind I couldn't see through him, I couldn't see how much of a fake he was… and now it hurts so much.
I'm all alone, surrounded by loneliness, no one standing besides me, no warmth by my side, no arms to make me feel whole again, no voice to whisper at my ear, no one I can cling to… My only company… the air, and this pillow that I've grown so attached to because it's the only thing I've shared my tears and screams for these couple of days.
It's funny though, how I should go out everyday and fake a smile and laugh every now and then so that no one notices what I'm going through… But dammit it hurts to be living in a lie, because they make you believe all kind of things… they make you feel things you've never felt before and just when things start taking a new path they stab you in the back.
It's night already… and he called telling me we needed to talk… what does he want now? There is nothing more to say, everything's been said and done… He was the one that wanted things to go this way. I hang up, he told me he would be calling late at night… he sounded so bad… but maybe that's just me, I mean… he couldn't be feeling THAT bad after all he did!
After fifteen minutes he calls… I pick up the phone, "Yeah?", that's all the answer I give him as a greeting, I want to hang up so much… but I can't… As much as I hate to admit it I like to hear his voice and know that he's doing fine, after all… I loved him, right? Loved him? How can I say that when I feel the way I do? When I hate to love him? And just when I start to forget everything about him I start to remember of how good he made me feel while we were together… The times we spent together, that I'm sure that even though he lied to me about some details, he was being happy with me and I made him forget everything that was tormenting him.
He stays silent… but still I can hear his breathing against the speaker, I open my mouth to say a word that every time I pronounce sends shivers down my spine… "Yuki?", he remains quiet; what's wrong? Did something happened to him? I take a deep breath and take those thoughts out of my mind ready to ask once again, "Yuki? Is everything ok?" Just as I end up asking I hear his trembling voice coming from the other end, he sounds so weird… He sounds just like the time he broke up and cried for the first time in front of me, he sounds like an abandoned child struggling to survive in the outside world, "Are you crying?" I ask as I hear a deep breath by his end and finally he speaks again, he's being rude, but in a cute way so I smile to myself remembering old times, suddenly my smile vanishes… it hurts to be thinking so much about old times that are never coming back.
He asks me something and I just froze… I don't know what to answer him, I stay quiet for a while, this time is me who doesn't know what to say; after hearing his voice calling my name for a few times I snap out of my daze as a sad smile makes it way to my lips and I answer, "If that's the last thing I can do for you… then sure." I hear him sigh and I roll my eyes with the same sad smile on my face, he'll never change, he'll never say things completely, he'll always hide something and get away with it, so I just say good-bye and hang up the phone and turn it off, I don't want to talk with anyone else for what's left of this day.
I move on to my bed and cry, holding on to something invisible with an invincible feeling of pain taking over me as an acidic taste runs up and down my throat, because of all the nervousness, insomnia, crying and ups and downs, I've not been feeling that well; so I ran up to the bathroom and empty the contents of my stomach, or… what reminded of my stomach since nothing came out, just the gastric acid that were starting to find their way out since I haven't had a bite for the last 2 days.
I stand up to wash my face, dark circles around my eyes and sweat all over my body, as a wave of pain makes me fall to the floor. The pain was so intense that I could barely stand up; I made my way to the shower and turn it on, cold water hitting my face, as memories of him start popping up once again making warm tears fall from my eyes as I lean my head on the wall and I try to clutch to something, anything I can get a hold of as everything starts spinning around.
I get a hold of myself and turn off the shower, dry myself, get on my robe and get out of the bathroom to fall at my bed, everything's pitch black and I'm hoping he could be there to make everything look a little brighter, but he isn't here anymore and he isn't gonna be in the near future. Not that I haven't forgive him but… there are scars that need to be healed.
There's nothing much I can do from now on besides lie on my bed, cry and be all alone, until these scars get healed, but the problem is… that they'll stay here forever, on my mind and in my heart to remind me of all I have gone through and to remind me of my first and only love.
So… once again I cry, hoping that this turns out to be just one of many other obstacles we have to surpass and hoping, more than anything, that this thick fog clears up so that we can be together… Together again and this time for sure, without lies, without complaints, not minding what other people think of us, just minding that the two of us love each other and that no one can come between us.
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Well… that's it people, I've completed the first chapter of 'Fantasy'. So much for that, right? I hope you can forgive me if you found it too cheesy but it's just that Shuichi's role well… it wasn't me! LOL If you understand that… Argh! Sorry for the confusion but I'm really sure that there's ONE person who understands what this means, if YOU are reading, that is!
OK! Next chapter is Yuki's POV… in other words MY point of view about this situation! BTW! I'm sorry if this chapter was too short… please expect that from the other two and my other projects too, since I'm little by little going to quit writing here or any other place. Hope you can understand that and if you don't I'll explain it without a problem ok? Here's the thing: I'M QUITTING! I DON'T WANT TO KEEP ON WRITING ANYMORE! There you have it. I'm not sure if I'll be able to complete my other two projects but I'm sure that I'll finish this one in some kinda time.
See you around and wish me luck. If you think I shouldn't quit writing this crap… leave a message at your review although I doubt there'll be many, and I doubt that I'll find the one reviewer I want to hear from, but anyways… Take care people!
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Special Thanks Pt. 1
Thanks to:
Bakazaruaddict- Thanks for always being there to review in each one of my stories, for making me laugh with some of your random reviews and for making me feel like a friend and sharing some of your problems with you. I'll always be here to lend a hand, so any problems just pm or email me, ok? And hope that you solved that lil issue you had! Love ya lots friend!
Lackofname (LON)- Wow man! Do I miss our random chats about Naruto and Gravitation you retarded Canadian-girl! I hope you get to finish that 'Anbu's Mask' project because you really know how to make me laugh with those crazy occurrences of yours! Tell your bro I hope he's doing fine! Love ya lots and you deserve the best of this world girl!
SamuraiDemonZero- Although you're just a Gaian friend… I would like to let you know that you made a difference in my world! You marked my existence and made me understand that there are still people who care about each other out there. Thanks for the random pm conversations and for your advices! I really DO LOVE YOU BOY! (as a friend) Thank you once again!
That'll be all… Next thanks got to some other SPECIAL people but I'll write them on my next chapter… See you people! Take care!