The Death Eater Chronicles
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or themes. Don't sue. Please?
Episode 4 – Nectar of the Gods
"Oh..I'm just a ... just a... hiccup sweet...Merlin.."
Voldemort, who has been on a fairly pleasant stroll around his mansion, heard this babble and decided to go investigate, ignoring his gut tellling him that he shouldn't.
When he entered the study, what saw him didn't really shock him.
"LUCIUS! WHAT IN SLYTHERINS NAME ARE YOU DOING!" Yelled Lord Voldemort seeing a drunken Lucius Malfoy on the floor with a bottle of His finest Vodka from Russia.
"I'm a...I'm a...I'm DRUNK! Oh Master! Cissy le-le-left meeeeee!!!!" Cried Lucius in his drunken state.
"Gee...could it be because you we're dancing around in your wife's undergarments not to long ago?" Said Voldemort clearly annoyed with his drunken deatheater.
"It - It..It was only...only...a thing...I did-didn't hurt herrr!!"
"Well Lucius, maybe you now know that women's clothing belongs on women" Explained Voldemort.
"It..It was only a KINK!" Shreiked Lucius as he took another swig of Vodka from the Bottle.
"Lucius, Get a hold of yourself, and...STOP DRINKING MY VODKA!"
"But..It's..it's...the nect-ar of the Gawdsss.." Said Lucius, still slightly crying.
"Nectar of the Gods eh?"
"Yesssss!!!!"
"Well then, I think I'm worthy enough to drink this 'Nectar of the Gods' as you put it. Considering a pathetic heart-broken Deatheater is drinking MY alcohol."
A hour later, two very, very drunken men are laughing their heads off about absoulty nothing.
"Tha-That Potter...Boy...He dead shall be soon, Dumble-door is...no...yes...Gay" Voldemort tried to say, nursing a empty bottle in his arms.
"Ha..yes..Yes..he mu-st-edly, Potter's gay with...Dumb-door?" Asked drunk Lucius.
At this, both men started cracking up, Then the door opened.
"Father, Master..." Draco Malfoy Started.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!" Yelled Draco.
"Dray-co..ha..Me's dunk.. ha..with da dark..ha..lord." Lucius explained between laughs.
"I see that...but what are you doing with Aunt Bellas corset on!?!" Draco exclaimed.
"Uhh...It's...comfy..hahaha" Lucius said.
"I'm..I'm..I'm a ..sweet..tranves tight from...trans.." Voldemort began to sing, but after beginning the world 'transvesite' he promptly passed out.
"Oh bugger...I'm not even going to bother.." Draco said walking out.
5 minuets later, you can hear Bellatrix yelling obscenities from her quarters.
"LUCIUS ABRAXAS MALFOY...WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU!" Bellatrix yelled opening the door to the study.
In there, she immediatly stopped yelling and looked at the two passed out men sleeping right next to each other by a roaring fire, Lucius in her black corset, and the Dark Lord holding onto the empty vodka bottle like it's saving him from death.
"Aww...this is SO a Kodak moment!" She exclaimed before conjuring up a kodak camera.
"Say cheese!" Bella took a picture and smiled.
"This blackmail is going to be fun!!!" Exclaimed Bellatrix before turning around and closing the door.