Author's note: Once again, Addie has been an absolute angel and helped me out with the characterization and conversation of this chapter. Many thanks to her.
Skye Tippewe looked horribly disgusted as she picked at the slop on the plate that lay in front of her. She would have rather eaten her own puke as opposed to whatever this mush happened to be. But the young girl happened to be so hungry that she was easily broken down by the sight of food. She ate it in tiny bites, trying to get as little taste out of it as she could. When she did manage to get a taste of it, it nauseated her. The slop tasted like somebody had mixed up mashed potatoes, milk, oatmeal, grits, and bread.
Needless to say, it was not the most appetizing meal that Skye had ever eaten. Three or four gags and a choke later, she had to push the plate away. It was easily understandable as to why the people in Azkaban were so skinny. The food was, in the best terms possible, absolutely horrid. Somehow this only furthered in making Skye feel like a caged animal. She sighed in discontentment and pushed the plate through the bars and out into the hallway where the guards would pick it up soon. The small girl closed her eyes and ran both hands through her black hair while she tried to convince herself that she had just eaten a half-way decent meal.
A tired sigh escaped her as she moved back over to her cot. Not even bothering to fix the blanket, she simply collapsed onto it, grabbing the pillow and burying her face in it. Built up anxiety finally got the best of her and she let out a muffled scream. It only lasted a couple of seconds, but it managed to make her feel worlds better, surprisingly enough. Skye almost immediately relaxed against the floor, something that hadn't happened at Azkaban since the day she entered through the gates. Soon after she relaxed, she became as still as a corpse. The only difference was that her stomach moved up and down when she inhaled and exhaled. The girl eventually slipped into a comfortable state of silent slumber, but like most things in Skye's life, this didn't last very long. There's only so long one can be comfortable on a cot before it becomes hard and cold. By the time she sat up, the lights had already been turned out. Since the lights to Azkaban were usually turned off around 11, she could only assume that it was anywhere between midnight and two in the morning.
She rubbed her eyes in a sleepy fashion as she moved to sit up. A stretch and a couple of yawns later, she was well on her way to being awake. Somewhere deep inside of her, she just knew she wasn't going to be able to get back to sleep any time soon. Her big, black eyes traveled up the stone wall and followed every curve all the way up to the ceiling. She longed for to see the moon so badly that it was almost painful. But she didn't happen to have a cell that had a window and figured she never would. Skye didn't have too long to linger on such thoughts, though. Her train of thought was quickly dissolved into nothing by a familiar voice. She turned her head to look into the cell next to her only to see a certain black-haired man staring right back at her.
"It's Skye, right?", he asked, quietly. Everybody who was locked away in Azkaban knew to be quiet at night. If the guards had to come and tell somebody to be quiet, it wouldn't end well in the slightest. Skye looked away from Sirius, and down at her hands. Staring at him for too long either scared her or hurt her, and she was unsure as to why. She didn't know this man, she didn't care for this man. A frown passed over his face at her reaction. Simple conversation seemed to terrify this girl but only because of who the conversation was with. A sickening feeling settled in the pit of his stomach as a look a distaste passed over his face. "Look, I know what you think of me…", he started before pausing. He cleared his throat and pushed his black hair out of his face before continuing. "And I just want to let you know how wrong you are. I never killed anybody and I certainly would never betray my best mate. So before you judge me on what you've read in newspapers, remember that you're in here, too…"
Skye was quite taken aback by the man's small speech, so much so that it had left her speechless. She knew, deep down, that he was right, but she would never admit that to him now. Just because a person was in Azkaban didn't mean they were in there on true charges. Skye knew about this all too well. Thrown in prison without a trial and not a chance in the world to defend one's self. She searched her mind for any defense of herself that she could come up with, but found that she didn't have a good argument.
"You don't know why I'm in here…", she finally stated, in a weak and quiet voice, before looking away from him again and down at her hands once more. Sirius simply surveyed her with a raised eyebrow. He had to admit that he was intrigued by the girl. She just didn't seem like the type of person who would do something worthy of Azkaban. "You're right…", he stated, though it was partially a lie. He wanted her to say for herself why she was thrown into the cell next to him. After all, rumors were just rumors, even if most of them were the result of a half-truth. "I don't. Would you care to enlighten me?", he asked, his gaze not moving off of her.
She looked back to Sirius once more, hair falling into her face as she moved her head. Skye's black eyes stared into his for one long, solid moment. Her mind raced as she tried to decide whether or not she should tell him. She quickly decided that it didn't really matter if she told him or not. She was stuck in a cell beside him for the rest of her life. Whether or not he happened to be a murderer or not, it didn't matter. He was a human being. He was somebody to talk to. "I was wrongly accused of something I didn't do", she whispered, not tearing her gaze from him as she answered honestly.
"I know exactly how that feels, love… I didn't do anything wrong. Peter Pettigrew is the one who ratted James and Lily out. He planted a trap for me to fall into. Killed himself too, I think. So what happens then? I get thrown in here, life sentence…" Skye's mouth fell open about halfway through his talking. But she quickly recovered, closing her mouth and regaining her composure quickly. The only thing she couldn't do was take her eyes off of him. She stared blankly as he scratched his arm and looked at his knuckles. When he finally looked back up at her she quickly looked away and down at her lap.
Skye felt a terrible feeling settle in the pit of her stomach. She was completely and utterly torn in the worst way possible. Part of her wanted to believe him so badly that it ached her, the other part was skeptic. Human faith completely shattered within her, she found it hard to believe most anybody. Let alone somebody thought to be a killer. She sighed and gently grasped one of the bars in front of her. "Looks like we're both stuck in here for a long time together, then", she said, quietly. What else could she say? Whatever she said would just make her sound like she doubted him and she didn't understand why she cared so much.
It was slightly difficult for Sirius to pretend that her avoidance of his confessing didn't annoy him just slightly. "You can believe what you want. You're stuck next to me till death do us part, and there's nothing either of us can do about that," he said, a little bit of a sting to his voice. But he calmed himself quickly and brushed his black hair out of his face. ."We both know Alex isn't going to be around much longer. She's a ghost and I bet she's been like that since James died... I've got half a mind to join her," he admitted before lying back on his cot. He lingered in his silence for a moment before clearing his throat and looking back over at her. "You've got yourself a reputation as a death eater as well, I'm told. Look who's calling the kettle black." And with this statement, and completely without permission, he reached through the bars and grasped her left arm. He moved his hand down it and stopped about half-way down her forearm. Dead skin. He didn't have to see it to know what was there.
Skye could feel her whole body tense up when he grasped her arm for this was the last thing on earth she had expected. Her eyes shut tightly as he moved his hand across her dark mark and she had every mind to push her hand through the bars and slap him. But he'd already pulled back his hand. An exasperated sigh left her and she found herself having to count to ten in her head. "I didn't become a Death Eater because I wanted to", she stated, calmly, but in defense of herself. "And if you want to be believed so badly, maybe you should take the same consideration into mind when accusing me…"
Had Sirius still been paying attention to her, he probably would have snapped at the girl. But, no. Something else had caught Sirius' attention. When he had rolled over, he had heard something crackle under his pillow. His right hand slipped under the pillow and when it emerged it held an aged enveloped. He turned it over in his hand just to see the name "Alex" scribbled on the front. "I forgot I had this…," he said to himself as he examined it. "This was the only thing I was able to sneak into Azkaban... I was supposed to give it to Alex when the time was right. I just never found the right time," he stated, more to her this time than to himself. He slipped his hand through the bars and held the envelope out to her. "You can read it… I don't mind…"
Skye hesitantly took the envelope into her hand and surveyed it. She glanced over curiously at him before unfolding the envelope and pulling out the parchment. The parchment had been tri-folded, and she opened it carefully since the parchment looked somewhat aged as well. She glanced back over at Sirius again before finally looking down at the parchment and beginning to read:
My dearest Alexandra,
I'm not sure how to start this letter in a way that won't make me sound like a bleeding idiot. I could say so many things, but I'm afraid I'd just ramble. I'm going to try to make this short and sweet for both of our sakes. Alex, I had no clue you were going to attend my wedding. In fact, I tried my best to avoid it. I knew if you showed up, I'd know what a git I was for ever letting you go. And you know what? I've regretted it every day since. You're almost like an addiction that I can't seem to shake. Every time I think I'm over you, I just discover that I'm not. And that hurts.
You and I both know that I shouldn't be with Lily. Maybe if our stupid prides hadn't gotten in the way, we could have survived seventh year together. After we ended, I sought comfort in anybody I could. Lily seemed to provide that, so I clung. Maybe I was on the rebound, maybe not. I'll never really know. Don't get me wrong, Alex. I love Lily very deeply. But that doesn't mean I still don't love you very deeply, either. First loves never really go away.
You and I both know that I've never been good with words and I'm horrible at telling people exactly how I feel. But I'm trying my best for you. I want you to understand that hurting you is the very last thing that I want to do. I'd sooner die. Maybe we'll never know what could have been and that will haunt me until the day I take my last breath, I assure you.
Alex, I love you. Always have. Always will. Please, please know this. I will never truly stop believing that we're soul mates. I hope that one day we'll see each other again and relive every good moment we ever shared together. I desperately hope that my wedding was not the last time I'll ever see you. I would never forgive myself.
I'm really unsure of what more to say other than to just tell you, again, how much I love you. I'm sorry I'm not so good with words. Of course, you knew I never was. Alex, never EVER be afraid to write or stop by. I'd be thrilled to see you. I really, really would.
Love Always,
James
She read the letter twice through. Fast the first time, slower the second, and a part of her died inside. "Alex has never read this, has she?", she asked, quietly, as she folded the parchment and put it back in the envelope. She slipped her hand through the bars to give it back to him and sighed when he took it. Sirius shook his head just slightly but she didn't need an answer to know that Alex had never read it. "He told me to give it to her when the time was right. He wrote it right after the wedding," he stated as he shoved the envelope back under his pillow and once again laid back down on his cot. Skye followed suit, leaning back on her own cot and facing towards him.
Everything seemed to slap Skye right in the face all at once. Sirius had kept that letter for all that time, just waiting to fulfill his promise to his good friend and give it to Alex. Skye suddenly realized that the man she was looking at could never kill his best friend. It was very true that Skye had just met him, and in prison no less, but she felt the need to shove all of her faith onto him. She wanted so badly to believe that there was some good, some small spec of human compassion, still left in the human race. "Sirius…," she started, pausing only for a moment when he looked over at her. "I don't think you killed James," she confessed slowly and quietly. Sirius almost immediately locked eyes with her and couldn't help but offer a small smile. "Thank you,", he said, quietly, feeling as though a great weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. Somebody actually believed him, and somehow that meant the world. He didn't know her very well at all, and she was extremely hard to figure out, but he was extremely grateful for the girl laying in front of him. This would be the first time of many that he would long to not have bars separating them.
"Please don't thank me," Skye replied, softly, a sad expression passing over her face as she began to speak again. "I need something to believe in…," she admitted. And she did. Above all things, this was what Skye needed more than anything in the world right now. She knew without faith, whatever it may lie in, that she would die in there. Or worse, lose her mind. The fact that she and Alex weren't the only innocent members in Azkaban kept Skye's faith intact and hopefully would until she perished. Sirius simply stared at the girl, searching his mind for anything to say but coming up blank. He slipped his hand back through the bars, yet again, and grasped her hand, gently. "If nothing else, Skye, I promise I'll get you out of here."
Skye glanced down at their hands and could feel her heart shatter. She let a sigh escape her before looking back up and locking eyes with Sirius. "You can't promise me that…," she whispered. With that, she gently let go of his hand and the world seemed to go in slow motion as she rolled over to face away from him. "Goodnight, Sirius…," Skye whispered before falling silent and remaining this way. Sirius stretched his fingers out before balling his hand up into a loose fist and rolling over onto his back to stare up at the ceiling. He promised himself right then and there that he would get her out of there if it was the last thing he ever did. Neither of them fell back to sleep that night. Both lay awake, thinking about the other. One pondered over what the rest of their life in their prison cells would bring while the other pondered over how the rest of their life would be once they escaped.
