Needs

Lily squealed and ran up to her two best friends, pulling them into a tight hug that left them both rubbing their ribs gingerly. They had just returned from Jocelyn's home back to Hogwarts. They had snow in their hair and their cheeks and noses were tinged pink from the cold outside. "I have so much to tell you," she said seriously.

Shayna held her by the shoulders and scrutinized her, then placed the back of her hand on her forehead. "Okay, imposter, what did you think you were doing when you Polyjuiced yourself into Lily?" she asked angrily, her deep blue eyes staring at Lily with a questioning glare.

"What are you talking about?" Lily said. "It's me, Lily Evans. My sister is Petunia, she has a boyfriend named Vernon, and in private company I call her Horse Butt. It's really me."

Shayna broke into a smile. "I'm sorry, Lily. It's just that there was a Polyjuice Potion scare at the Ministry. Somebody was acting strangely, and they thought that they were someone else using Polyjuice Potion. The man was cleared; it turns out he had a head cold and was feeling groggy because of the medicine he took…some Muggle thing called Apron or something? Anyway, it was front-page news in the Daily Prophet. Didn't you read it?"

"Yeah, it gave us all quite a scare," Jocelyn said, nodding her head fervently. "I mean, if the Death Eaters had gotten into the Ministry, that would have been chaotic! I'm sure you saw the news."

"Actually, I didn't," Lily said morbidly. "That's one of the things I wanted to talk to you guys about…but not here, obviously," she said, waving her hand airily and standing in the middle of the Great Hall. "It's much too crowded. Let's go into the Heads common room."

"But, James and Remus and Sirius are there!" Jocelyn said. "I mean, I obviously don't care about Remus being there"—Lily and Shayna exchanged smirks—"but Sirius and James are a problem for you guys."

"Not anymore," Lily said. "I'll fill you guys in on everything if you'll just come up to the Heads room with me."

Lily turned and walked up the long marble staircase, with Jocelyn and Shayna close behind. A few corridors later, they were standing outside the entrance of the Heads common room. Lily pushed the door open.

James, Sirius, and Remus were sitting on the floor of the common room with very serious expressions on their faces. They didn't seem to notice the girls walking in, and Lily motioned for them to stay still and quiet.

"…I wish I had you're luck, mate. I can't tell her the truth; there's no way she'll believe me!" Sirius was saying. "And even if she does, she wouldn't care anyway!"

"Mate," James said, "I've never seen you like this. You've never had a problem with a girl being uninterested in you before. Why don't you just tell her that?"

"How can I tell her that?" Sirius asked, punching the carpeted floor exasperatedly. "What, do I just go up to her and say, 'You know, Shayna, whenever I went out with those other girls I would pretend they were you. Everything about you amazes me. You're the only girl I've ever had trouble with, and, to be honest, I think I might have fallen madly in love with you!'"

Shayna gasped, then stepped out from behind Lily and walked quietly over to stand behind Sirius. James had a look of horror on his face, as did Remus. Sirius wasn't paying attention, as he had his head in his hands. "Yes, you do just go up to her and say that," Shayna said quietly, sitting down next to Sirius. Sirius looked up, flabbergasted, the color draining out of his face.

"Sh-Sh-Shayna?" he gasped, eyes wide. "Did you"—he paused and gulped, his hands clenching and unclenching again—"Did you hear…everything?"

"I heard enough," Shayna said quietly.

"Well, mate," James said to Sirius, "the gig is up. Looks like you've got to tell her the truth. All of it."

Sirius took a deep breath and looked Shayna determinedly straight in the eye. "Shayna," he said softly, as if he was suddenly unaware that all of his friends were around him, "You know, every single girl I've ever gone out with is nothing compared to you. It's like taking a twig and holding it up to a tree. It takes me hours just to think of something I can talk to you about. Sometimes it takes me days. I think I might have had a list in my pocket at some point. Everything about you amazes me. Shayna, I—I—" he paused and looked unsurely at James, who gestured at him to go on. "I, um, I—"

"Oh come on, Padfoot, spit it out!" Remus said. "You can't stop now."

Sirius took a deep breath and once again looked Shayna in the eye; his eyes were filled with fear of being rejected, and…what was that other thing shining in his eye? "I love you," he said. Oh. It was love.

Shayna looked back at him, tears welling up in her eyes.

"Don't cry, please, don't cry," Sirius said anxiously. "You could…you could just forget I ever said that, if you want. I mean, I understand if you don't feel the same. If you don't, I'm actually not that surprised, because I really never expected you would and—"

He stopped, because Shayna was shaking her head, her blonde hair flying out in all directions. "Shayna," he said quietly, "please, don't cry…even though you do look rather pretty even when you cry."

She was laughing and crying at the same time. "Sirius, nobody has ever said anything nicer to me," she whispered, leaning in close to him. "Quite frankly, it was the sweetest thing anyone's ever done for me."

"It—it was?" Sirius asked, as though not daring to believe his ears. "You mean, you're not mad at me? Oh, thank Merlin, if you were mad at me I wouldn't know what to do, because, you know—"

"Just kiss her already!" James exclaimed.

"Right," Sirius said, looking suddenly eager and anxious at the same time. "Maybe we should save that for later," he said quietly, winking at Shayna, who had stopped crying.

"Let's not and say we did," Shayna said boldly, surprising everyone in the room. Shayna, the shy and quiet girl of the bunch, leaned into Sirius and placed her arms around his neck cautiously, as though afraid of being burned. He sat there for a second, amazed. Shayna's lips were on his. His hands were in her hair; he was amazed at how soft and silky smooth her hair was. There were catcalls and whistles circling around the room. Lily had a small smile playing on her lips. Jocelyn and Remus were imitating Sirius and Shayna on their choice of activities, and James shared a knowing glance with Lily, and then rolled up his sleeve and looked at his watch.

"Guys," he said tentatively after a moment. "Guys? GUYS!"

Sirius pulled back and smiled at Shayna. He was in some small form of heaven. Jocelyn and Remus had disappeared through the portrait hole a few moments before to do Merlin-knows-what somewhere else.

"You know, he really loosens up around her," Sirius commented, watching the two of them walking out of the portrait hole.

"We have to share out Christmas Break experiences," Lily said rather darkly, a slight scowl on her face.

"Right," Shayna said, pulling her now messy hair into a loose ponytail. "Well, we just sat at Jocelyn's house. What did you lot do?"

"Well," James started, "I'm sorry to break the happiness, but our Christmas wasn't exactly the happiest one." He turned to face Lily. "Should I tell them?"

Lily nodded. "I'm not sure I'm up to it," she sighed.

"Sirius, mate, you got my letter?" James asked.

"Yeah," Sirius said, looking sullen. "Listen, mate, I'm really sorry…if there were two better people that Mr. and Mrs. P, I'm sure I don't know them."

"It's okay, Padfoot," James said, smiling, though his voice sounded a bit watery. "There was something—or someone, rather—that made me feel better in ways I can't possibly describe."

Lily blushed as Sirius stared open-mouthed at the two of them. "You mean—no, you can't have done—do you mean that you did—" Lily reached over and clamped her hand over his mouth.

"Sirius, if you're thinking what I think you're thinking, then don't think for a moment that I won't hesitate to think about cursing you so you won't be able to think about what you're thinking about," she said quickly.

"Huh?" James and Sirius said at the same time. Shayna laughed.

Lily sighed. "Let's just continue with Christmas Break. James was in his room. He handed me the letter about his parents. We—I mean—That is to say, I—" Lily fumbled with the words. How do you just tell somebody about a kiss? she wondered, feeling her face grow red.

"Lemme guess: you snogged," Sirius said, watching smugly as James smiled triumphantly and Lily looked away, her face as red as her hair.

"Merlin's beard, Lily!" Shayna squealed, causing Lily to turn even redder (if that was physically possible). "Why didn't you say anything?"

"Surprise?" Lily squeaked meekly. "Anyway, the next day we had a snowball fight." Suddenly Lily's face turned pale as she realized what she had to say next. A lone tear rolled down her cheek, and James pulled her into his lap and wrapped his arms around her protectively.

"Lily was put in the same predicament as me," James said simply to Sirius. "She doesn't like talking about it. You can explain to Shayna and Remus when he gets back." He tried to smile, but he only managed a slight grimace. He turned to Shayna. "Shayna, you can tell Jocelyn. Lily doesn't need your pity; that will only make her feel worse. Just…just show her that life goes on, okay? We're going upstairs."

Lily acted as though dazed; she stood up numbly and walked up the stairs to James's dormitory with his arm around her. "Can you read minds?" Lily asked him softly, sitting down on the edge of his bed.

"No," James said, chuckling slightly as he sat down next to her. "I just…well, I figured that that would be what you wanted. I know how hard it is to face your friends with that sort of news."

Lily put her arms in back of her to hold herself up better. "I wish we didn't have to," Lily said, voice strong though tears were streaming silently down her cheeks. "Nobody should have to tell their friends that. Not at our age. And not because they were murdered by the most vile and cruel human being—if we can call him that—in the universe."

James paused, lying on his bed next to Lily. "I love you," he said after a while.

"I love you more," Lily said, smiling.

"That's impossible, Lily," James whispered, playing with her hair. "I already love you too much."

"You're too cheesy," Lily whispered, her green eyes staring into his hazel eyes. "You're lucky I like cheese. It's delicious."

"You know what's more delicious?" James smirked as he put his arm around her waist.

"What?"

"Kissing you," he said huskily before doing just that.

Sirius slammed the door open. "Hey, Prongs, I just came to see if everything was okay and—GET A ROOM!" he shouted, as James and Lily broke apart, startled.

"Padfoot, you dolt, we're already in one," James said, rolling his eyes.

"Well, obviously everything's okay in here," Sirius said, smirking as he watched Lily blush for the fifth time that day. "I'll just leave you guys here." He turned to leave. "Oh, and Prongs, don't do anything I wouldn't do," he said, turning his head and winking.

"Prat," James said as soon as he left. "Yeah, he's my best friend. But he's a prat."

"Just forget about him," Lily said, taking his hand in hers and leaning her head on his shoulder.

"Lily," he said, looking into her eyes with a serious expression on his face, "I don't know what I would do without you."

A delicate smile played on her lips. And he thinks he needs me she thought to herself. She hated to admit it even to herself, but she knew in her heart that she needed James more than anything.

A/N: okay, so that's that. It's a long'un, folks…okay, enough with that weirdness: I'm a bit stuck right now, so I'm limiting my updates to once a week. Review, and maybe I'll update faster ;-) Um…thanks to everybody who reviewed so far. You guys really kept me motivated, and I think that this is the longest story I've ever written so far. Anyways, I'll update in a week I think…Review, please!