Crazy Glue and Bacon
James ran down to the Great Hall the next morning with the Crazy Glue clutched tightly in his fist. "I've got it!" he exclaimed, skidding to a stop and sliding into a seat next to Sirius.
"Great," Sirius said, "It's all planned out. Slughorn always stays late after breakfast, to eat the leftovers from the staff table. Moony figured that out, Merlin knows how."
"Where is Moony?" James asked, looking around the table for him.
"With Jocelyn, apparently," Sirius said smugly. "They went to talk about something, or something like that. Anyway, I think they're in the library."
James frowned. "Well, not a chance we're going to look for him in there! …So, what do Slughorn's eating habits have to do with the plan to prank him?"
Sirius smirked. "Lily's wiping your brain clean, eh? We can sneak into his classroom before he gets there!"
"Right," James said, wagging a finger at Sirius. "I knew that. Definitely."
"Sure you did."
James shoveled some eggs and bacon onto his plate and began eating. Before long, Sirius had snatched the bacon from his plate. "Hey, fleabag, there's a whole plate of bacon right there! Why do you have to steal mine?"
"Because, twiggy, I live to annoy you," Sirius said, taking yet another piece of bacon from James's plate.
"Are you calling me scrawny, Padfoot? Huh, are you?"
"No," Sirius said, laughing at his friend's clueless behavior. "You're a stag remember? With sticks on your head?"
"Oh," James said. "Well, can I have my bacon back?"
"Here," Sirius said, hanging it above his head.
James opened his mouth and raised his hand to get it.
"PSYCHE!" Sirius shouted, popping the bacon in his mouth, whole.
?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿
Sirius took the Crazy Glue out of his pocket and looked around cautiously, making sure nobody was around the corridor or in Slughorn's storage rooms. Remus and James stood watch outside the door.
A minute later, Sirius walked out of the classroom and gave Remus and James the thumbs-up. "All set," he said, smirking.
?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿
The class filed into Slughorn's room at the sound of the bell, with Remus, James, and Sirius being the last ones in. James sat next to Lily and whispered in her ear, "Everything's all set. Prepare for the best prank in all our history here."
Lily giggled. "I forgot all about it," she said, blushing. "What with all those kisses you deserved."
"I still think I deserve more," James said, pouting. "You didn't give me enough."
"James, I had to go to bed!" Lily protested, frowning. "We have classes today! It was already late when we first started planning!"
"Fine," James said, looking at the door. "Oh, here comes Sluggy!"
Professor Slughorn's round belly came through the doorway, followed by the rest of him. "Hello class," he said, standing in front of his chair. "Your potions have been maturing since the last time we met, and they are now ready to be finished. Get to work!"
The Marauders and Lily walked to the potions storage room and grabbed the ingredients they needed, snickering and trying to keep straight faces. They walked back to the main classroom to find Slughorn asleep on his chair. "Perfect," Sirius breathed. "Okay, watch this."
He walked over to the sleeping Slughorn and tapped him on the shoulder. "Excuse me, Professor Slughorn, I need some help with my potion," he said innocently.
Slughorn's eyes opened sleepily. "Yes, Mr. Black, just a second. I must've dozed off," he mumbled, rubbing his eyes.
Sirius turned to Remus, James, and Lily, and winked. "Thank you, Professor. It's just a minor thing, but I'm having trouble measuring how much of the ingredient has to go into my potion before it can simmer."
"Yes, of course," Slughorn said, and he put his hands on the arms of his chair to get up, but found he couldn't. He grunted, trying to pick his head off of the back of the chair. "Sirius, would you mind pulling the back of my chair off of my head. It must've gotten stuck to my balding spot," he whispered to Sirius, who tried his hardest to keep a straight face.
"Certainly," he said, walking behind the chair. He yanked with all his might.
"ARRRRRRG!" Slughorn screamed. Suddenly the entire class turned to the front of the room, where Slughorn was trying to walk around with a chair stuck to his head. The entire class laughed loudly, pointing at Slughorn and whispering to each other about how he looked like a walrus with a leech stuck to his head. The potions they were all working on started bubbling as though the liquid was boiling water. "CLASS!" Slughorn yelled, eyes tearing. "CLASS! DON'T LAUGH! YOUR ANGER POTION WON'T LIKE IT! IT'S GOING TO—" A tremendous pop, as though a huge balloon just burst, resounded throughout the classroom. Everyone was drenched with the green potion. "—explode," Slughorn finished lamely, massaging his temples and wiping the sticky green potion out of his eyes. He pulled his wand out of his pocket and sighed. "Scourgify," he said, waving his wand. The potion disappeared into nothingness. "Okay, free class while I figure out how I'm going to walk around with a chair stuck to my head."
?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿ ?¿
Shayna and Sirius sat alone in the Gryffindor common room, watching the embers die from the fire in the fireplace. Shayna's head rested on Sirius's shoulder, where it fit perfectly, and her arms were around his waist in a loose embrace. Sirius turned his head to face Shayna. "Shayna," he said, "I love you."
Shayna laughed. "How many other girls have you said that to?" she asked, mocking his reputation of being the 'Supreme Sex-God of All Hogwarts'.
Sirius's face remained sober. "None," he said simply, kissing her nose. Shayna's face was graced with a small smile; a reminiscence of what she once was. "Well," Sirius said expectantly, "don't you have something to say, too?"
Shayna turned away from him and stared at the embers, rubbing her forearm. "I keep thinking about what's going to happen after Hogwarts," she said quietly, evading Sirius's question and missing the glum look on his face.
He smiled and turned her face to look at him, stroking her cheek with his thumb. "You'll come live with me, of course," Sirius said, as though stating the obvious.
"Sirius, I—I can't." Tears welled up in Shayna's expressive blue eyes. "I can't."
Sirius's smile slid off his face like water off a raincoat. "Why not?" he asked. "Shayna, why not?"
Shayna turned her eyes away from him. "My parents wouldn't like it," she mumbled.
"But why?"
Shayna paused. "We're not…erm…engaged or anything," she said uncertainly.
"Oh," Sirius said, scratching his chin. A few awkward moments passed.
"I'm sorry," Shayna said, kissing his cheek.
"No, no, it's fine," Sirius lied. "I'm going to go to bed. Listen, Shayna, don't worry about after Hogwarts. Everything is going to be fine, I promise."
A/N: It's times like these that I REALLY WANT SIRIUS SOOOO BADLY! Well, erm, about 2 weeks until my birthday (December 30), so I'll update before then and you can tell me happy birthday ) well, if you want to. Anyways, this is the prank that I've always wanted to try out. And I thought they should do it on Slughorn because my teacher was like Slughorn…he's retired now. Anyways, review, please!