Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto in any way, shape, or form. I don't own the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy ether.

Hidden by the Fox

Chapter 6: The Sexy Jutsu

The Encyclopaedia Shinobi has this to say on ANBU: They are the ninja equivalent of a civilian SWAT team. These elite ninja specialize in special operations, assassinations, scouting, and anything in between.

The Ninja's Guide also has this to say on the ANBU of the Hidden Fox Village: The Black Fox ANBU, of the Hidden Fox village are very well known. Unlike the ANBU of other villages, the Black Fox ANBU dress entirely in black and always wear a mask depicting a fox. Two captains in particular stand out in the history of the Black Fox ANBU.

The first is Red Moon Itachi, who is infamous for using a genjutsu known as Tsukiyomi; this Genjutsu originates from the Mangekyo Sharingan he acquired by killing a ninjutsu, genjutsu, and taijutsu specialist from the Uchiha clan. (See: Uchiha Itachi)

The other, White Fang Kakashi, or as he is more commonly known, Orange Book Kakashi, is infamous for using the White Light Chakra Sabre he inherited from his father. But, he is even better known for having his face buried in the latest instalment of the Icha Icha series when ever he is not fighting. He is also rumoured to be an active practitioner of Icha Icha-ism. Kakashi is now retired from being an ANBU and is currently teaching gennin teams. (See: Hatake Kakashi)

"Naruto…" Arashi groaned, "why can't you just allow yourself to have a normal picture?"

The picture showed a normal looking Naruto sitting down with his ear-to-ear grin. Only, there were clouds of smoke hovering around the gennin and a jet of blood arcing over his head. The picture was also crooked suggesting the camera may have been knocked over as the photo was being taken.

"I only used the Sexy Jutsu on him as he was taking the picture," Naruto protested, "which makes 56 civilians, 12 Gennin, 23 Chunin, 32 Jounin, 15 ABNU, and 1 Kage I have knocked out with that jutsu."

Arashi sighed. "To think I was probably this bad when I was his age," he thought. "Naruto, just take the picture again, if you don't I'll be cutting you off from your ramen supply for a week."

One picture later, Naruto was walking down an alley on his way to get ramen, when he saw that a patch of fence had the stakes horizontal instead of vertical.

"Konohamaru, you're holding the cloth wrong," he said to the strange section of fence.

"Clever, but that is why I respect you as my teacher," Konohamaru said, pulling down the camouflage sheet.

"I can't play ninja with you today, or teach you any pranking tricks," Naruto stated. "I'm developing a new powerful version of the Sexy Jutsu. The first phase can't make the cut on super perverts."

"Good, cause I want you to teach me the Sexy Jutsu!" Konohamaru explained.

"Why?" Naruto asked, confused.

"Because, I need it to escape from Esubi! He never teaches anything useful, unlike you!"

"What makes you think it will work on him?" Naruto asked puzzled.

"I saw him walk into that bookstore with the X's above the door, wearing a trench coat and different glasses," Konohamaru explained.

"Ah, I see. Okay, first let's see your transformation jutsu. Change… into… her!" Naruto instructed, pointing to Sakura, who was window shopping at a nearby store.

"Transformation Jutsu!" Konohamaru turned into a copy of Sakura. Only, the copy looked like a man.

"You got the hair right," was all Naruto could say.

Then he heard a cracking of knuckles and Sakura grinding out, "I… do… not… look like a man."

After a savage beating from Sakura, Naruto and Konohamaru were standing outside a used bookstore.

"Okay, you need an intensive study of female anatomy," Naruto explained. "Just follow my lead." Naruto used a transformation jutsu to turn into a 20ish version of himself, and Konohamaru did the same. Naruto and Konohamaru walked in, past the owner, who was sleeping at his desk, and began to "study female anatomy." Then, they heard the tapping of a shoe and saw the owner of the store glaring at them.

"I learned to see through that change trick years ago!" the owner yelled, as he literally threw the two boys out.

"Just a minor setback," Naruto commented, as he walked in the direction of the hot spring, Konohamaru in tow.

Soon, the two boys were creeping through the thick brush that divided the men's and women's baths.

"What are you two doing?"

Naruto turned around to see Sasuke sitting in the bushes, looking into the women's baths.

"I'm teaching Konohamaru the Sexy Jutsu," Naruto explained. "I didn't know you were a pervert Sasuke."

"Shut up, all the good spying spots are being hogged by Jiraiya anyway," Sasuke scoffed.

"Then we will just have to try the direct approach," Naruto proclaimed.

A female version of Naruto and a female version of Konohamaru were seen walking into the women's bath.

"What are you two brats doing in here?" Naruto found himself looking into the red eyes of the local genjutsu expert, Kurenai.

"We were just going to inform you that there are two perverts spying on you from the bushes," Naruto said, praying that he was not going to be a victim of Kurenai's Demonic Squirrels Illusion Jutsu.

The two boys made it out of the hot springs, just in time to see Jiraiya and Sasuke being launched through the roof.

"Remember Konohamaru, if you find yourself in a tough position, try to direct your enemy's attention to something else," Naruto explained. "Now, all that is left to do is to practice the Sexy Jutsu."

The two boys were sitting in a secluded section of coastal rocks. Naruto had a notebook out and was brainstorming ideas for a new jutsu.

"Okay, Konohamaru lets see your first attempt at the Sexy Jutsu," Naruto instructed.

"Sexy Jutsu!"

"Ackk… to fat! More skinny!"

"Sexy Jutsu!"

"That's too skinny!"

Five hours later, Konohamaru and Naruto were still sitting on the rocks

"So Boss, I finally mastered the Sexy Jutsu! Are you going to teach me the next phase?" Konohamaru asked eagerly.

"No, I want you to create your own powerful Jutsu," Naruto calmly explained.

"What? Why?"

"Because, you want to be a Namikage, right?"

"Of course!"

"Good, you need more than jutsus you learned from someone else to be a Kage," Naruto explained. "You need to know how to manage a village full of ninja. You also need something that sets you apart from everyone else. The 1st Hokage could control wood, the 3rd Hokage, your grandfather, supposedly knew every jutsu in the Leaf. The 3rd Kazekage could control magnetic sand. The 2nd Mizukage had a bloodline like Haku's, which allowed him to control ice. The 4th Tsuchikage had a Biju sealed in him and could draw on it's powers. The 1st Raikage could alter the weather to create storms and the 1st Namikage, my dad, knows jutsu like the Rasengan and the Body Flicker. All Jutsus that he created himself."

"Konohamaru there you are!" Esubi said, jumping out of the nearby trees. "How many times do I have to tell you that my teachings can guide you on the way to Namikage, better then Naruto can?"

"Shut up!" Konohamaru yelled. "I learn more from Naruto then I do from you! Like this Jutsu! Sexy Jutsu!"

Esubi gasped, shock etched on his face, "such a vulgar technique will not work on me! I'm a gentleman!"

"Awww… I didn't work," Konohamaru groaned, changing back to normal.

"Looks like he is a bigger pervert then we thought," Naruto commented, standing up. "This is a perfect opportunity to test my new jutsu. Shadow Clone Jutsu!" Several clones of Naruto surrounded the Jounin.

"Huh," Esubi snorted. "I am a Jounin; solid clones won't do much good against me."

"Oh yeah," all the clones said, as they made a hand seal. "Harem Jutsu!"

Esubi was rocketed by his nosebleed into the ocean.

A copy of the Ninja's Guide, which fell through a freak wormhole in space and time, has this to say on the Sexy Jutsu: It is a very powerful jutsu in which the user turns into a naked women. This jutsu has the effect of knocking out any male that is not gay or a super pervert.

This jutsu was one of the trademarks of the Namikage, Naruto Uzumaki, and was used by all the Namikage that succeeded him. Naruto once used the Sexy Jutsu to knock out a thousand ninja.

The Harem Jutsu is just the Sexy Jutsu, mass produced. It has the effect of knocking out anyone, no matter whom or what they are. Naruto once used this jutsu to knock out five Kages, all at the same time.

Authors Note: Sorry for the delay in updating! My internet was down so I had to wait.

Also I know that you need to kill your best friend in order to acquire the Mangekyo Sharingan. But this is an AU so I can add another way to acquire it.

Writers Question: what would I need to do in order to improve the story? I know some of the characters are OOC.