gizmo-396: Don't you hate it when computers let you down? I know yesterday I was having some time with my own computer. I was just at end of my nerves and the smallest things were irrating to me and wouldn't you know it my computer decided to give me a hard time too!
FallenArchangelDD: Thank you! I appreciate you reading and reviewing on this story.
JyouraKoumi: Thank you again for you reviews. What does "Bizzy-bone is sicc" mean? Is that good or should I be worried?
cutie sora: You'll have to wait a little bit to find out why Tai wanted to tell Sora. I wanted to get TK into this chapter, maybe Sora will be next. I love Matt and Sora also but I have read a few stories with Matt/Mimi that are just as good. I guess it depends on what the author is comfortable with.
Digi-Girl101: LOL, simple and to the point! Thank you.
Nikki1: Welcome back from your vacation! I hope you had fun and glad to know you made it back in one peice. Where did you go? I do believe I have set my mind on what sex the child will be. Only one other person knows because I had to ask permission. I was reading this story, still am and Matt has a child in that story. I love the name, I love the description of the child so I asked permission to use the name. It was agree and when the time comes I will plug in a beifing on the story that the character came from. Now the other story is completely differnt then this, in different worlds all together. It just happens to be when everyone are adults with children of their own. It is really good. "are all of your stories like in the same universe or whatever?" I am not sure if I understand the question but I will attempt to answer it. I don't like to set a place or time wth my story. I leave it up to the readers. Sometimes they bring the characters into their own world, soemtimes its better to invision them somewhere else. I do like to intwine my stories together. Sometimes it's an object from one story and I'll bring it into another story. Sometimes the characters will even refer to another moment from a story like: "remember that time when you" after that sentence I might still something from another one of my stories, linking them all together. I am going to do it to this story, with Kari. Matt always drives the same car. Tai always beboops someone on the nose. Somehow I try to have all my stories connecting.
Stained In Negativity: Hphm, you wouldn't believe it but I acutually did one potatoe, two potatoe with those names! I thought that Susumu might be Sue in english. I am not very good with these names! I am trying and thank you for clearing it up for me! I really do appreciate it.
Okay now everyone, including those who are just reading. I am a little indifferent with this chapter. I'm not sure if I overboared it with emmotions, if I put too much into it or if I just ended up making Matt a basket case and Tk molding hiim into this trouble person. Maybe I should have held of posting it...I'm not sure if I reuined the story with this chapter or strengthen the characters. I do know that you should understand problem Matt has when it comes to forgiving his mother. If anything, I was able to clarify that much. In a nutshell, this isn't my favorite chapter but maybe you will like it or maybe not. Just keep in mind it is a story and I'm only a person.
onward...
After his little conversation with his mother, Tk left her alone for most of the day. Not for her to deal with her own emotions but so he could practice what he wanted to say to his brother. He went over and over his conversation in his head, what he should say if Matt would respond one way or another way.
He wanted to be prepared, to have all the questions and expect the answers. After all, his brother owed him that. He was tired of Matt treating him like a child. It was time that Matt realise that he was not the same little boy that would cry over the smallest things. By the time he did leave his house, he left in a furious rage.
Once again, Matt chose not to confine in him. His only brother and Matt still turned his back on him. They had made a promise to help each other out when the need arise. It seems it only worked one sided. Once again, Tk felt like he was outside Matt's door, rapping his knuckles against the barer that separated them. Not this time, this time Tk was going through that door, one way or another.
He took a deep breathe and walked through is father's apartment and put on a false smile. "Hey dad."
"Tk!" Hiroaki smiled brightly, "I wasn't expecting to see you today. What's up?"
"Not much. I thought you were working." Tk shut the door behind him.
"I'm taking a personal day off." His father gave him a weak smile, "I guess I should have taken one a long time ago."
"Maybe." Tk shrugged. "Is Matt home?"
"Yes he is actually. He is in his room strumming his guitar." Hiroaki eyed his younger son. "Can't you hear it?"
"Oh." Tk's cheeks flushed, he felt stupid. Of course Matt was home, who else besides Matt knew how to play any musical instrument between the three of them. "I um need to talk to him."
"He's all yours." Hiroaki watched his younger son carefully, "You okay Tk?"
"Yeah, why?" Tk paused with his hand on his brother's door.
"You look a little flushed. I hope you're not coming down with anything."
"I'm fine." Tk smiled at his father.
Tk walked into his brother's room, stepping over some clothes that found what seems to be a permanent place on the floor. His brother sat on a bed that sat low to the floor. Dark blue coverlets that their grandmother had made for Matt on his last birthday draped loosely over the bed. Matt looked up from his guitar, giving Tk an acknowledging smile before he turned back to his guitar, strumming the strings lovingly.
"When were you going to tell me, Matt?" Tk asked with anger dwelling in his voice. His brother looked up sharply, unexpected by the anger Tk had in his voice. Matt's hand stilled the strings on the guitar. "How were you going to let me find out? By the kids at school? Maybe from Tai. He knows, doesn't he?"
"I'm not sure if I know what you're talking about." Matt said slowly, placing his guitar protectively behind him.
"You bloody well do know!" Tk folded his arms in front of him.
"How do you know?" Matt asked softly.
"Not by you that's for sure." Tk shook his head, "Mum told me. Of course Dad told her because you can't do it yourself."
Matt stood up, running a hand through his blond hair, "Do what myself?"
"Tell our mother."
"She's your mother, not mine." Matt mumbled. "Look, what's the big deal. Dad said he was going to tell Nancy so of course you would find out from her."
"I should have found out from you!" Tk argued. "You told Tai, didn't you?"
"Yes I did because he knew something was bugging me and…I don't know. You know how he is," Matt smirked.
"I knew something was wrong but you kept blowing me off."
"You're jealous, aren't you?" Matt laughed. "Don't you think you're a little too big to be jealous of my friends?"
"Get over yourself." Tk hissed. "This has nothing to do with your friends. It is about us. We're brothers, Matt."
"Brother's don't share everything." Matt told him softly.
"Especially if you're the brother. You don't share anything do you?"
"I'm not sure where you are going or what you want me to say, Teek." Matt walked over to his brother. "Do you want me apologise for not telling you? I would have told you before people at school found out. I had to tell dad before I told you. I mean, you can't keep secrets well." Matt shrugged and walked over to a window in his room. He peered out, watching the street below him yet not seeing them at all. In his thoughts, Matt was trying to straighten things out between him and his brother but every word came out wrong. .
"I keep secrets Matt." Tk frowned.
"Of course you do and no one will ever find out about them unless they read your damn book." Matt sighed.
"My book?"
"You write everything down in that bloody book, Tk." Matt turned slowly. "We've all read it. If I read it, I know Nancy has. I wanted Dad to know before she found out. Nancy would had just stormed up to him and throw everything in his face as it being his fault."
"No she wouldn't." Tk shook his head.
"Yes she would. She has done it before. She blames him for the marriage falling apart, said he was not there for her. For her Tk. Not for us. She wanted a chance to be happy she told him. Said that she deserves to start thinking about herself and making herself happy.
It was all about her!" Matt's eyes blazed with anger. "I couldn't tell you because you can't keep anything from her!"
"And you can." Tk gave a bitter smile, "Even her own grandchild. You are even willing to keep that from her too!"
"You would have told her and she would have known. I didn't have to keep anything from her." Matt shrugged.
"I can hardly remember them being together, Matt. I cannot remember their fights but I remember there were a lot of them. Did you actually want to grow up with them fighting all the time? They would have eventually hated each other. I wouldn't want to grow up in a house like that." Tk walked closer to his brother. "They both settled on the divorce, not just Mum."
"You just don't get it." Matt shook his head.
"I don't get it because you won't tell." Tk threw up his hands. "Damn it Matt. I am not a child anymore! I can actually help if you just let me!"
"Help with what?" Matt asked, "Why does everyone think that I need help?"
"Hello, where have you been?" Tk laughed. "You have all this stuff bottled up inside of you and you won't release it."
"You are delusional." Matt shook his head.
"I know what I see."
"Then you are seeing things in the dark, Teek. I'm fine."
"Damn it Matt you irritate me to know ends!" Tk shouted.
"Yeah you grew up, didn't you Teek. You can say few swear words and you know everything, don't you?" Matt kept his voice low. "I have no idea what you thought you could accomplished coming here and acting the way you are. I did not know when you walk through that door and I am still lost here, Tk. What do you want from me?"
"I want you to lean on me and I want you to forgive mum. Don't keep the baby from her." Tk said slowly. "You didn't think about her did you? I know you would never take the baby over to her, you wouldn't even call when it is born, will you? Do you know how much you hurt her? You are so cold towards her. She never wanted to hurt us; she only wanted to be happy."
"She could have been happy if she wasn't so selfish Tk." Matt sat down on his bed, leaning over with his elbow on his knees. "You know I remember this one telephone she made to one of her friends. I think it was Angie."
"Aunt Angie?" Tk nodded, his mother's best friend has always been close to Tk.
"Call her what you want." Matt muttered, "She told Angie that she was going through with it. Said she was going to tell dad tonight when he got off his shift. She rehearsed what she was going to say to Angie. It sounded cold." Matt trailed off, his thought reeling back in time when he was younger.
"Nancy always seems to forget that Dad worked late to give us stuff he never had. He wanted the best for her. He always kept us in mind while he was at work. Always. There was this time he took me to work and I caught him calling home and hanging up. I asked him about it and do you know what he told me?" Matt glanced over at his brother who shook his head, "He told me that he just wanted to hear her voice on the answering machine, even though she never picked up."
"I didn't know that." Tk sat slowly down next to his brother. Matt never looked at him.
"Dad loved her sometimes I think he still does." Matt went on. "When I heard Nancy talking to Angie I thought I could save everything. I waited for her to hang up and I asked her one question. I asked if she would ever leave me."
Tk felt himself getting sick. This was a part of Matt he never known, maybe no one ever did. It was a secret from a child in hope to keep their family together.
"She told me no, that she would never leave me. That she loved me and couldn't understand why I would say something like that." Matt turned halfway around, reaching for his guitar. "So when the judge asked who I would want to stay with, I said Dad. It made sense in my head. If I refuse to leave Dad then Nancy would keep her promise stay with me, we would all be together. Well that is what I thought. "
"So when she left dad…"
"She broke her promise to me. She left me too." Matt strummed his guitar slowly.
Tk watched his brother's fingers as they moved over the strings realising that maybe music was Matt's security blanket, soothing his mind from the pain he kept from the world.
"She never wanted to hurt you."
"But she did, didn't she?" Matt said in a soft tone barely heard from the melody of the guitar.
"Can't you forgive her?" Tk asked.
"I don't think I can."
"But what about this lady you got pregnant?" Tk asked, "She's leaving the baby behind and if you ask me, it's a lot harsher then what mum did."
"But it's not." Matt shook his head, "Nancy made a promise to dad when they were married, and she made a promise to me. The girl I know made no promises to anyone."
"She's still turning her back."
"On someone who will never remember her. On someone who will not remember what she smelled like when she held them or recall what her voice sounded when she sung a lullaby. I think that makes a big difference."
"I think it makes you a hypocrite." Tk set his jaw.
"Well you know being a hypocrite is like being greedy, its human nature." Matt sighed. "But you should be please, I told you something that no one, not even dad knows. Now you have to prove that you are indeed that 'grown-up' you were boasting about and keep it to yourself."