Please see disclaimer in Chapter 1. Comprehensive author's notes will appear at the end of the final chapter. In the meantime, comments and criticism are relished. Please enjoy your reading.
"Going Gently"
By Port
Chapter 7
The shadows in the kitchen grew longer. The jars and bowls left on the countertop of the center island cast pale, purplish ones that slanted away from Botan, who watched with detachment. Occasionally, the sun at the window would flare brighter, and the shadows would darken. Then a cloud would block the sun, and they would fade away. But they always came back, narrower, more obtuse than before.
From the living room came the repetitive cries of the avatars in Mortal Kombat, kicking the living hell out of each other. Outside, a sparrow twittered forlornly. Botan picked apart the last rice ball as she tried to contemplate only the slow rhythm of her breath.
It wasn't working. She had no control over this body. She couldn't even meditate in it.
Given the terrors it was prone to, the bouts of panic and the unreasonable fear that never left – given all that, she thought she should long for the peace of the Spirit World. The holy palace that had been her home for so long, though, would be no comfort to her. It couldn't erase the memory of that night, the memory that wouldn't leave her.
Past experience told her she shouldn't be reacting this way. As a spirit guide, she had collected shades who had died in indescribable horror. Rape, torture, persecution, captivity, starvation – none was a stranger to her. Neither was violence. She had seen people stabbed, hanged, lined up and shot like animals, buried alive, gassed, run down. The history of the mortal world was one of conflict, and war had kept her busy her whole life. The full range of accidental deaths were known to her as well. Car accidents such as the one that took Yusuke happened hundreds of times a day. Fires, poisonings, falls, disease…. Botan collected the dead, no matter how they died.
Her fingers separated the individual grains of rice on the platter, arranging them into a curved line.
Botan's personal horror at the realities of mortal life had always found an outlet in sympathy. She comforted the departed and found pleasure in preparing them for everlasting life.
There was no death.
She knew that. Nothing to be afraid of. (Well, maybe the punishments of the afterlife. But those were temporary. And only for extreme cases. Botan could comfort those, too. Well, mostly.)
Since that night on the demon island, though, uncomfortable thoughts had occurred to her. She had never been endangered before. Only stood patiently to the side while others met their ends, safe in her spirit form. Safe in a way she had never comprehended.
That night in the hotel room, she had no time to shift away from physicality. The demon had hurt her in a frenzy, refusing to let up despite her screams. He'd held her in his foul-smelling arms and ripped her kimono open, then thrown her against the wall when she kicked him. Kurama had arrived after about a minute or two, thanks to Keiko, but to Botan the time in that room might as well have lasted hours.
In a way, it had never ended.
And she had learned there were indeed things to be afraid of, even given the golden promise of an afterlife. Fear had become a bone-deep part of her, like an oily residue sliding inside her stomach and chest and limbs. When it overtook her, like earlier in the day, she wanted to crawl out of her skin and find someplace to hide.
Bad enough that, but now it had come between her and Kurama. Like they needed anything else between them.
It wasn't so bad in the Spirit World, in her spirit form. Without blood and nerves and adrenaline, she walked calmer, and the fright existed only as a vague dread, a consideration easily ignored. Most of the time. If Kurama had apologized to her in the Spirit World, she would have known what to do.
Kurama was watching Yusuke and Kuwabara compete on the television screen. He'd kept an eye on the hall to the kitchen, but Botan had remained there since he'd left her. Probably feeling as bad as he felt.
Half of him wanted to try again to make things right, while the other half was convinced Botan had her own problems that had nothing to do with him. Even so, he hated to leave her alone. Maybe he wouldn't have on any other day, but today Botan had him confused. Well, she always did that. But today, at least, he was ready to admit he was confused. Somehow that simplified things, and he didn't feel too bad about sitting on the Takagis' couch with a glass of milk watching his friends kill time.
The glass was halfway to his lips when Botan appeared in the living room. Kurama looked up to find her standing at the entrance of the hall, looking right at him. He smiled a little, and she nodded.
Then she sat next to him on the couch.
Yusuke and Kuwabara didn't seem to notice from where they knelt on the floor, entranced by the game and making competitive exclamations to each other. But Kurama noticed Botan sitting next to him, could almost feel the inch or two of his personal space she had invaded. He thought he could detect a humming, as of a sharp blade just unsheathed, could feel the vibration inside himself because of her proximity.
"Kurama," she said softly, too low for Yusuke or Kuwabara to notice. "I want to say I'm sorry."
Oh. He had wanted to hear her say that for some time. So why was he disappointed? "You have nothing to apologize for, Botan." And he meant it.
"Yes, I do. But I think we should both forget it. Shouldn't we both stop being sorry by now?"
He studied her hands, one clenched on each knee, dark pink half-moons showing under her fingernails. Before he knew it, he took her hands in his, warmed them with his palms. "I think you have something there," he said, smiling. And just like that, they were okay for the first time, Botan relaxing against the back of the couch, her fingers warming against his skin. She was smiling, and he felt more than all right.
If Kurama had apologized to Botan in the Spirit World, where she was in her right mind and at her best, she would have made things right between them. Not just right, but ideal. In the purity of the Spirit World, the act of love was as holy as the truth of love itself. In the human world, with the distraction of flesh and birth and death and a million other necessary things, it was a wonder people recognized love at all. She and Kurama certainly hadn't, and they had been paying quite a bit of attention to each other.
Soon, they heard the front door open. A moment later, Mrs. Takagi and a middle-aged man came into the living room. He had short-cropped hair and wore a rumpled business suit. In his eyes was the slight nervousness of a man with too much on his mind and not enough options. Botan took him for a bureaucrat or mid-level corporation man. He had probably been quite handsome fifteen years ago, but now he looked washed out, and he had what looked like mild acne scarring on his cheeks.
Mr. Takagi, his wife confirmed to them, and a round of introductions followed. They all sat down on the couch and chairs. Somehow, Kurama wound up across the coffee table from Botan, in sight, but out of reach, and Botan found herself annoyed for being disappointed.
"After I dropped off the children, I decided to pick up my husband," Mrs. Takagi explained. "Usually he's home later, but we wanted to be here to…."
As she trailed off, looking uncertain, Mr. Takagi spoke up. "What is it exactly you will do to scare off these intruders?" He had a polite voice, underlined with tension he probably didn't even know he felt.
"Well, we're gonna kick their—"
Botan sighed. Yusuke had no hope. Fortunately, Kurama cut him off and said, "First, sir, we will allow them to enter the room as usual. Then, we will confront and arrest them. Once they are in our custody, they will be unable to harass you any longer."
"Yeah, what he said," Yusuke muttered, cracking his knuckles against his palm.
Pen, Pin, Pan and Peta had met as usual in a vacant lot near the humans' neighborhood. Pen had a big sack full of dinner and snacks for later; Pin had the sake and beer; Pan held his koto and Pin's shakuhachi (since an unfortunate and expensive incident with Pin's original shakuhachi a few years back, the fox with the liquor was allowed to carry only the liquor).
Peta glared at them all. She leaned against her drum and rolled her eyes while they bickered over what she had told them.
"Look, if they brought in someone to drive us away, we'll just have a good old-fashioned fight!" Pen yelled, swinging his sack.
Pin's tail twitched like it had a mind of its own, dislodging dust clods from the wiry hairs. "What if they're stronger than us? We don't even know who they brought, yet. I don't want to go in there blind. No offense, Pan."
Pan was blind. "Look me in the eye and say that," he whispered, not half as funny as he liked to think he was. He looked like he had something to say, but quieted himself and let Pen and Pin continue. Peta felt her anger growing. Pen would get his way tonight, unless Pan spoke up.
They never asked for Peta's input, not since the last time they listened to her, some decades ago. Not since Pan went blind and lost half his voice.
She spoke up anyway. "This place is shot. The Spirit World is on to us. Time to move on, boys. I told you nobody possesses houses anymore anyw—Are you listening?"
They were not. Pen and Pin had talked over her the entire time. Pan, who she knew heard every word, affected not to hear her. A low growl began in her chest, steadily growing in volume. She banged her drum temperamentally. When they continued to ignore her, she screeched as loud as she could. "Listen to me, you idiots!"
"Oh, shut up, Peta," Pen said. "No one asked you."
No one ever asks me, she thought as she leapt between Pen and Pin and swiped at Pen with her claws. He jumped and got his back up, orange fur prickling over tensed muscles.
"Hey, now," Pin started, but cut off when Pan's cane arced between him and Peta's backside, landing across the latter with a loud crack. Peta howled.
When she looked up from the ground, he was standing above her, cane back in its customary place, hooked over his right arm. "You don't get a vote," he rasped.
Night had come without incident. After explaining to the Takagis the basic plan—which Kurama hardly paid attention to, knowing how the basic plan always went with this group—the team had split up. Botan and Yusuke went upstairs to wait in the hall, while Kurama and Kuwabara found cover on opposite sides of the house outside.
An hour later, nothing had happened. Kurama remained still in his hiding spot, ears and eyes attuned to the sounds and shadows of the neighborhood. All he heard were nightbugs and the occasional whine of children in the other homes. Shadows moved when cars passed by, then resettled. Once or twice, the bush rattled where Kuwabara lay in wait, and some muttering emerged, but the boy kept quiet otherwise. He was getting better at this.
The front door opened, and Yusuke's voice broke the pleasant cover of minor sounds. "Yo, Kurama, Kuwabara! We need to talk."
Just forty-five minutes ago, some children playing in the street had been called to dinner by their mothers. Kurama thought of that now with a half grin and walked to the front porch.
"I take it you've realized we're wasting our time," Kurama said, noticing Botan had joined Yusuke on the front porch. He nodded to her, and she nodded back.
"More or less," Yusuke said. "Probably scared them away."
"This may be the first good night's sleep the Takagis have had in a while," Botan said, "but we're back to square one. That is, unless they come back tomorrow night."
"Do you think they will?" Kuwabara asked.
"Why? You got something better to do?" Yusuke punched Kuwabara lightly on the arm. "Big date?"
"What? No! I mean, not that I couldn't, but—"
"So suck it up," Yusuke said. "Take a nap tomorrow afternoon, then come back down here for another try."
"We're not going to canvas the area again?" Kurama said. "If we found them tonight, we wouldn't have to return tomorrow."
"But if we alert them to our presence, we could scare them away entirely," Botan said.
"Exactly how long have they been wanted?" Yusuke asked.
"The Spirit World issued a warrant for their arrest… two hundred sixty years ago," Botan answered. "They've been on the run and causing trouble ever since."
Yusuke paused and looked thoughtfully at the front door. "Then I guess we can wait an extra night, if it means finally catching them."
They went back inside and told the Takagis their plan and thanked them for their hospitality. Tomorrow, they would return in the early evening.
Though she could have gone straight to the Spirit World, Botan walked along with the boys to the train station. Yusuke and Kuwabara took it for natural and the walk passed quickly. Kurama supposed they looked like four friends out enjoying the fresh air on a warm night, and he thought perhaps they were. When they boarded the train, Kurama paid for Botan's ticket, since she didn't carry money.
"You know you could have just turned invisible and got on the train for free," Yusuke said, smirking.
"And let the other passengers think you're crazy for talking to thin air?" she rejoined. "Good idea for next time." Her smile might have lit up the dim car. In fact, only a few people were on their way back to the city this late, so they took the back of the car for themselves and traded theories on the case in quiet voices. Eventually, the rhythm of the train lulled them, and Yusuke yawned loudly, stretching his arms out.
"Hey, careful there," Botan said, ducking out of the path of his elbow. She left her seat next to him and crossed the aisle to sit next to Kurama. "Hmph."
At the train station in the city, they all agreed to meet at the Takagi house at 6:30. Kurama quietly confirmed plans to study with Yusuke after school the next day, something they had taken to doing after the Dark Tournament. Then the three boys split into separate directions to walk home. Botan fell into step with Kurama.
Occasionally, they bumped elbows. The walk to Kurama's house was slow and quiet.
Later, while they sat on a swinging garden seat, Botan said, "I want to take you to the Spirit World. If you want to go."
The sun was rising, and they had spent the night in the back yard at Kurama's new house, the one his mother shared with her new husband. Kurama had taken on the large but dying garden in the back as his project, so now it was fragrant and colorful. He took pleasure in showing Botan everything he had done, and she seemed sincere in her appreciation of it all. Kurama felt a little silly, like a young child trying to impress a teacher. But as the night went on, being with Botan in the garden felt familiar, the gently swaying tree boughs, and Botan's thigh warm against his own.
"I'll go there with you. But I have school in an hour."
"After the case, then. I want to show you something there."
He rubbed a strand of her hair between two fingers. "I've been there before, you know."
"Mm, hmm…." The murmur held a note of patient annoyance. Maybe he shouldn't have reminded her of his forays to the Spirit World. There was forgiving, and then there was forgetting. Even though he'd personally prefer the forgetting part. "Not for this," she said, blushing a little. They had remained mostly hands-off all night, but now she lay her hand on his thigh.
"You mean…?" Suddenly, skipping school would not be a tragedy.
"Mm, hmm." No annoyance there now. She sat up from her cozy slump a few inches from his side to whisper in his ear. "Everything's different in the Spirit World," she said. "When you don't have a body… making love is…. It's…. It's indescribable."
It was pretty damn good in the human and demon worlds too. But the way she whispered enticed him. For the first time in memory, Kurama found himself without words. But his human body, in all its teenage glory, had enough to say. Botan grinned.
"Botan?"
"Yes?"
"We should have finished the case tonight."
Her laughter floated up from the garden with the scent of the flowers. Above them, the sun was just crowning the tops of the trees.
The rest of the day passed in peace, until the evening. Kurama applied his usual strict concentration at school. Usually, he focused so hard in order to deter boredom. Now he did it to avoid thoughts of Botan and the case. In idle moments, he imagined what going to the Spirit World with her would be like. Maybe they would go to a secluded garden to lie on the grass beside each other. Or else, maybe Botan had her own chamber in the palace, with a soft bed, covered in white, silk sheets that could envelope them as they learned everything about each other.
The idle moments at school were good. The rest, not so much.
He went to Yusuke's house after school and found the other boy rummaging around in his kitchen. Yusuke tended to skip breakfast, Kurama had learned, and depended on Keiko to share her lunch with him. He came home famished, with mostly junk food available in the cabinets. Kurama wondered why his mother didn't buy vegetables and meat instead, but he never said anything.
They passed Yusuke's mother asleep on the living room futon on their way to Yusuke's room. The whole house was mostly bare, with minimum furniture and very few mementos on display. Yusuke had explained that they lost most of their belongings in a fire while he was "technically dead." He didn't seem too sorry for the loss, and Kurama sensed Yusuke approved of his new home.
With potato chips and soda in reach, they sat on the floor in Yusuke's room, each doing his own homework. Occasionally, they interrupted each other with a question or just to shoot the breeze, and soon most of their work was done. Kurama held a notebook and quizzed Yusuke for a test tomorrow, then Yusuke did the same for Kurama. Kurama didn't really need the help, but he didn't want Yusuke to feel bad about a perceived imbalance.
When they were done, they went to the Takagis' house. All the time they were together, Yusuke had been in a good mood. He never mentioned yesterday's reprimand about Botan. Kurama thought that maybe Yusuke sensed the issue had died, so he didn't bring it up either.
"Yusuke," Kurama said as they approached the house. "It may be wise to try a different tactic today."
"Oh, yeah?"
"Yes. I suggest we station ourselves a distance from the house, to wait for the intruders to go inside. They would then be trapped in the room."
"And we could take them out."
"As before. I'm afraid our energy signatures may have given us away last night."
"You're probably right," Yusuke said. "Sounds like a good plan to me. Let's do it."
Kurama stopped himself from rolling his eyes. Yusuke led them pretty well, but he had a way of simplifying things. So Kurama asked leading questions and soon they had the details of the new strategy worked out.
It was a coincidence that paired Botan with Kurama that night. Kurama had suggested pairing off, and Yusuke had expressed his preference for sticking with Kuwabara, to watch his back. Later, Kurama would ruminate on how coincidences shaped and marked his long relationship with Botan, starting with their meeting in the Spirit World when he had been in the middle of a robbery, leading to his joining the team of spirit detectives she advised. Nothing planned. Just a series of random meetings, continuing in a dark hotel room that reeked of blood and fear. Anyone else might have met Keiko in the hall before she made it to him. Yusuke or Kuwabara or even Hiei might have defeated Botan's attacker in his stead, if things had been only a little different. Perhaps if that had been the case, Kurama and Botan would not have reconciled the night before, and out of dislike he would have avoided being paired with her that night.
But the strange ways of luck did not always favor the preferable outcome.
They were attacked simultaneously: Kuwabara and Yusuke on a shadowy street corner a block from the house, Botan and Kurama in the tall tree at the edge of an empty lot, a block away in the other direction. Neither group could help the other, each pair on its own against two foxes.
Botan and Kurama had spent the first hour of darkness on different branches of the tree, observing the Takagi house in near silence. Soon, that gave way to light conversation, Kurama always keeping the house and their vicinity in sharp focus. Botan asked him about his day, and he asked her to tell him about her own. She was in the middle of telling an amusing story about Koenma when she trailed off.
"Kurama—"
The energy signatures of fox spirits.
"I sense it—ah!"
The tree shuddered and made a huge cracking sound. Then a jolt, and they rocked to an angle, Botan knocked off her branch, now clutching the trunk. Kurama slid, scraping his hands, then scrambled up towards Botan. "Hold on," he told her as the tree shook and continued to slowly fall, the terrible cracking sound still loud in his ears. He steadied Botan, made sure the tree didn't land on them, and suspected she didn't really need the help.
Then everything became a fight.
They had split the trunk of the tree, probably in one blow. Botan hugged the trunk and accepted Kurama's help as the tree made its ponderous descent to the ground. Before it had even settled, two foxes set upon them. Kurama shoved Botan away from the mess of branches and cracked, woody trunk, biting off something about finding cover.
But Botan fell on the ground when Kurama's push set her off balance.
Too close to the fight, she thought. Get away. Find cover. She didn't have time to shift to spirit form; there was never time in a fight. She scrambled on her hands and knees away from where Kurama was grappling with two foxes, and headed deeper into the empty lot, a desolate field of overgrown grass and thorny brush.
Another crack issued behind her, this one swifter, describing an impact. She spun to see the black silhouette of Kurama doubled over, clutching his ribs. Over him crouched one of his opponents, a tall, thick fox with a blindfold tied around his eyes. He raised a heavy bamboo cane and started to swing at Kurama's shoulders—
Only to discontinue the killing arc and stagger backward, a long, woody stem protruding from his stomach and through his back.
Botan released her breath.
Kurama raised himself a little, revealing that he held the end of the stem in his hand, had made it shoot forward at the last moment to kill the fox. When the fox finally fell onto his side and stiffened in death, a sharp keening echoed through the lot.
Where was the second fox? Botan looked everywhere, but all she could hear was the last of that terrible howl.
"Pan!"
She never saw where the other fox came from. The shadows, maybe. To Botan in those last moments, the fox was a thing of shadows itself. A black impression of unkempt fur and outstretched claws, it hurled itself at Kurama, leaping upon him from above.
In a neat, well-practiced move, Kurama used the shadow's momentum against it. He dropped to one knee and threw it off himself, away into the empty space of the lot.
Where it landed in a snarling heap before Botan.
She didn't have time to move, much less scream. Suddenly, she had no time at all.
To be continued in Chapter 8.
Author's Notes
I know I promised to get this to you quickly, but you probably lucked out that it took so long. Seriously. This is the fourth draft of this chapter; the first three would have sent you screaming away. What I learned: Don't be afraid to cut huge portions of your text; it's not all gold.
People have been sending very kind reviews. They've probably gone a long way toward keeping me honest with this story. Deepest thanks to the following people: Crescentmoon-cat, Volpone, CWolf2, Lady of Roses, Emma, Kiss-me-kitsune, Snowangel, ShyLilSweety, Animegirl007, B-chan77, Myrenaluvssesshomaru, Blitzkreig, Maverick, Steven (kudos to you for reviewing the chapters as you read; that was very thoughtful. Why no wax?), Kitsune Kit, xMiahimex and Yukino Amida.
A lilmatchgirl: Thank you for the long review—I enjoyed hearing about your reactions to the story and hope this chapter clears a few things up!
Eun-Jung: Thank you for such thoughtful analysis. I'm flattered that you went to the trouble, also grateful, because I was worried there might be too much angst in that chapter. I hope you will tell me if a problem arises in this chapter or afterward!
Empressofthedragons: Glad Kurama's maturity comes through for you, and that you like the pace. Trust me, it's people like you who make me happy because you are so kind as to review!
Passionate Angel: It was really nice of you to come back and send me a review! Thank you for saying such nice things, and I'm glad you seem to be enjoying this.
Pyrinsomniac: I've had the same reaction to the K/B problems you described, so I've tried to either avoid those things or to make better use of the clichés. It means a lot that you think it's successful so far. Have you read "Destiny" by Cherry? If not, I'd recommend it as a work that combines the behind-the-scenes idea with intense K/B romance. It's actually my inspiration for this story, one I look up to quite a bit. Also, thanks for the advice; I took it, and it seems to have helped.
As ever, feel free to let me know where I messed up. Thank you all for reading.