Thank you all once again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chapter 7

She was staring at him again. She couldn't help it. She just kept looking at him until he would look up and she would avert her eyes from him.

He didn't look sad. He didn't look hurt either. Actually she couldn't comprehend what it was that he was feeling.

He was always doing something. Keeping himself busy. She wondered if he did that so that he would stop thinking of her. Or he just didn't want to sit since he had already forgotten about her. She wished it was the former.

She didn't want him to hurt because of her but she wanted him to care for her like he used to. She wanted to still be a part in his heart, even if it was small.

It had been a week since his return and four days since they had talked. Since the talk.

God she felt so bad. Although he had told her that she didn't have to explain anything to him, she wanted to. She wasn't going to tell him that she regretted it. Cause she hadn't. Because what happened with Sawyer made her realize that her feelings for him where entirely different from those she had for Jack.

Sawyer was her friend and he would always be. But Jack… Jack was more… He wasn't just a friend. He couldn't be just a friend. She knew that and she was sure that he knew that too.

She often found herself thinking of how it would be like to be with Jack. Like a couple. It wouldn't be easy, she knew that much. But it'd be different. Different from every relationship she had so far. And that intrigued her.

She watched him checking on Aaron trying to reassure Claire that nothing was wrong with him. He was so nice to everyone, always there to help, even those who didn't deserve his attention.

That was one of the reasons she had turned to Sawyer. Cause Sawyer was an asshole to everyone, except from her. He always seemed to go soft when she was around and she liked that. It made her feel special.

With Jack she sometimes thought that she was just another survivor. Just another broken person that needed to be fixed. And she hated that. She knew that she didn't deserve him but she also knew that she wouldn't be able to become the right one for him. She just couldn't be fixed.

And that was the difference between him and Sawyer. Sawyer wanted her just like she was but Jack wanted more. And she was afraid that she didn't have more.

She was still watching him when he locked eyes with her. He looked surprised for a moment and even more surprised when she didn't stop looking at him. They kept staring at each other until he turned around and walked back into the jungle.

"Damn it" she thought.

She had to make it right. She had to talk to him, make him understand even if he didn't want to hear it. She would make him listen.

She got up and started walking to where he was heading. She figured he was going to the caves. Perhaps he wanted some time alone since the caves were abandoned. Well they were gonna have some time alone whether he liked it or not.

She kept walking for about half an hour until she reached the caves. She saw him straight away and for a moment she stopped breathing.

He was sitting on a rock, shirtless and trying to clean up the wound that she once had sewed. Apparently it had opened again.

She looked at him for a while. Trying to fix it without success and getting pissed about it. She decided to make her presence known.

"Hey" she said quietly not wanting to scare him.

He looked up quickly surprised that someone had found him.

"Hey" he replied. He looked at her for a minute before he turned back to what he was doing.

"Do you want some help?" she asked smiling. "You look like you need it" she added when she saw him trying to deny her offer.

"Look it's not important I'll just…" he was cut off by Kate.

"Jack I'm just trying to help." She said firmly showing him that she wasn't gonna give up easily.

He thought about it for a minute and finally gave in.

"Fine."

Smiling, she approached him finally seeing the wound. And what she saw made her gasp.

"Jack!!!"

Jack looked at her unimpressed " It's nothing serious just…"

"What the hell are you talking about? If you think this isn't serious then you've deffinately misconstrued the meaning of the word" she told him making him chuckle a little. She sat down looking at his back. It was full of read marks like he was burnt and his previous wound had reopened.

"How the hell did you get these?" she asked apparently worried.

He didn't answer. Just kept looking down.

"Hey" she said louder turning him to look at her.

He finally looked at her and she then realized.

"Did they do this to you? She asked. Her voice starting to tremble.

He didn't say a thing but his eyes told her everything.

Tears started streaming down her face even if she tried to stop them.

"Why?" she asked still crying.

"Let's just say I wasn't a very good prisoner" he replied with a smile.

"Was it because you helped us escape?" she asked.

"Let's not talk about this Kate" he said turning his back at her.

"No let's! "she said turning him back again.

"What do you want to know Kate?" he said standing up getting frustrated with her.

"I want to know what happened to you!!!" she yelled back at him, she too standing up, now facing him.

"I got tortured, that's what happened!!!!!!" he screamed.

She kept looking at him biting her lower lip trying in vain to stop the tears from pouring down her face.

He turned away from her, not wanting to see her cry, rubbing his neck with his hand apparently not happy with where their conversation was going.

"Because of me?" she asked with trembling voice.

He didn't look at her and he didn't answer either.

"Did you get tortured because of me??????" she screamed at him.

"Yes!!!" he yelled finally looking at her. "Is that what you want to hear? Yes I got tortured because of you.!!! I almost died because of you!!! I can't even sleep at night and it's because of you!!!!!!! He screamed.

She was now sobbing.

"Because I just wanted to save you." He whispered turning his back at her.

They were silent for a moment until she spoke.

"See Jack?" she said laughing with tears.

"That's why I chose him" she said still smiling.

He was looking at her puzzled.

"I don't und…"

"I don't deserve you!!!!!!!!!!!!" she yelled at him.

He was still looking at her strangely.

"Don't you get it Jack? You're good I'm bad. You're perfect I'm not even close to it. You're just too good for me."

"Don't you think that the choice is mine to decide whether or not you're good enough for me?" he asked.

"No Jack. Not when I'm gonna be the one to watch you getting hurt because of me." She replied.

"But Sawyer is as bad as you?" he asked with sarcasm in his voice.

"No Jack. Sawyer wants me for who I am not for who he wants me to be."

"So now I'm trying to turn you into someone else?" he asked laughing.

"No Jack you just want to fix me. Make me good. But I know I'll never be good enough."

He looked at her for a minute. He thought he could just walk away. Leave her there. But then she'd thought that she was right. And she wasn't.

"Did it ever occur to you that I don't want you to change? That I love you just the way you are?

She looked puzzled. Did he just say that he loved her?

"I know you've hurt people Kate but that doesn't make you bad. If I thought of you as you think of yourself I would never do anything for you. I wouldn't care for you and I certainly wouldn't fall for you."

There it was again. Did he fell for her?

"Just because you don't see good in you doesn't mean I can't see it. I don't care if you've killed someone Kate because I'm sure that whatever you did you had a pretty good reason to do it."

She averted her eyes from him.

"All I care about is the way you always help people, always trying your best to satisfy everyone's need without taking anything in return. The difference between me and Sawyer isn't that I'm better than him. It's just that I know that the real you is good and I've fallen in love with that, not with the image that you're trying to put out.

She didn't say anything. She was left speechless.

"You see Kate for once in my life I don't want to fix someone. I don't want to fix you!!! He yelled at her.

He turned his back at her again and ran his hand through his hair.

Silence fell between them but she decided to break it.

"I'm sorry" she whispered.

He turned to look at her with tears in his eyes.

"I didn't think that… I just thought… I'm…"

She couldn't speak. Didn't know what to say. They kept staring at each other until he couldn't take it any more.

It all happened at once. In a second he had grabbed her and kissed her with full force. She gasped in surprise but didn't pull away. His hands were holding her waist tightly while hers went to hold his face. Their tongues wrestled with each other both eager to taste the other. His one hand was now in her hair, beside her neck keeping her head up and close to his so that he could go on kissing her, and the other one was traveling up and down her back. Her hands were wrapped around his neck holding him close never wanting to let go. She whimpered in pleasure and that's when he realized what he had done. He pulled away at once breathing hard. She looked at him puzzled.

He stared at her for a moment. Looked at her swollen lips from his kisses. Looked at her eyes begging him to kiss her again. But he couldn't.

"I'm sorry" he whispered.

She looked at him hurt and not really understanding what was wrong with him.

"I can't do this."

With that he left. Once again she was left alone and in pain.

So???????? Did you like it??????????????