Kyo knew then something was wrong. Have you ever loved anyone more than you love yourself? That's how Kyo loved Ryu. More than anything. Above all else. A crazy obsession that went beyond the borderline. And you will always say it only happens in books and in love songs. But those authors and song writers never met Kyo yet. If they did, they will raise their hands, and say, I give up. You're tops.
Kyo didn't sleep. He was so happy that Ryu is still the same again with him and even more. But how long can he stand this set up? How long he can go on pretending that it's alright, and tell him, he doesn't like to be the anchor anymore, but he wants to be at the wheel with him? That he wants to know where Ryu is taking them, and how long they are gonna carry that excess baggage named Jin. He cried himself to sleep again. And this time, he prayed if everything is not back to normal, that he won't wake up anymore.
Ryu had an early morning treat from Jin before his lover went to work. Ryu wanted to tell Kyo that he made up his mind, that he already made a choice. That he didn't want to play this game anymore, that he will help him find a new place, gave him all his savings so that Kyo can be settled away from him. Permanently.
Ryu found him sitting on his bed, holding their picture that he glued together, staring at it. He looked pale. Ryu decided to wait for a better time.
"Hi." Ryu greeted, walking over to him, touching his shoulder. Kyo didn't move, he didn't respond. Ryu sat down beside him and took his hand, it was cold and clammy.
"Hey." A little louder. He peered closer and looked at his lover's face. It was a blank mask. He was staring into nothingness, his mind is either somewhere else or nowhere at all.
"Kyo!" he called shaking him. No respond. He slapped him. "Kyo!" he cried, looking at his face, cradling him in his arms. "Answer me, baby. Answer me." Ryu whispered, showering his pale face with kisses.
A tear fell from Kyo's eye. "Ryu." He croaked, his voice cracked. Ryu kissed him hard, invading his mouth, giving him air, sticking his tongue, conquering Kyo. As if he knew Kyo needed air, that Kyo is dying. If only Ryu knew that's what Kyo wanted, that's what he felt. That's what he hoped.
Ryu stopped when Kyo fell limped under him. "Am sorry. I forgot that you're still weak from all the activities." He said softly, capturing those lips again. Tasting Kyo. Why is it now that he wanted Kyo so badly? Why is it now that he couldn't get enough of this man? He wanted to eat him and swallow him whole.
They were so happy then, he felt he was on top of the world. Every time he looked at him, he couldn't help but let out a sigh, he felt so lucky. He was so proud of him. Why do you love me so much? Ryu wanted to ask him. He just wants this forever. Kyo. Forever.
Kyo works in a photo shop, he works the graveyard, to suit his nocturnal habits. While Ryu is the opposite, works early in the morning as a medical examiner for a medical insurance company owned by Jin's father and where Jin is his superior officer. They are opposite like night and day…when Kyo's shift ends, Ryu's started.
But since they started living together, even when they were just room mates in college, Kyo would stay up another hour, prepare Ryu's work clothes for the following day, taking out his ironed scrubs, under wear, socks, work shoes; in the bathroom, Kyo would ready a towel, bath soap, shampoo, toothbrush with toothpaste, mouth wash and he would line them up. He would take out the power drink that Ryu loves that he put in the freezer and put it next to his medical bag, along with the schedule that Kyo prepared the night before, calling up appointments, preparing appointments for the day. Kyo even looked up the addresses for his medical examines.
Kyo would hang around by the couch to make sure he didn't forget anything. There are times he would bolt out of bed and ran barefoot in his boxers chasing Ryu when his lover forget something or call him to drive back.
Ryu liked these moments, when Kyo pampers him and baby him. Most of the time he was too tired and sleepy when he got home, but like a practiced routine, he automatically do everything before crashing into bed. Ryu forgets. He forgets sometimes to even bring the key to his car, and Kyo will be right behind him to hand it to him.
Ryu once asked him why Kyo do these things for him. "Because I want to." Kyo said, leaning over and planting a kiss on his forehead.
"Because I love you." Kissing him on the lips. Putting away the laundry that he just did. Ryu pouted, Kyo gave him a questioning look.
"I hate you." Ryu teases, with an evil grin, making a mess of the folded shirts and pants on the bed that Kyo spent hours putting away.
Kyo smacked his bottom with a laugh, "Stop that." He reprimanded. And leaned over and took a nip at his ear. "Why do you hate me?" he asked, folding the mess all over again, smacking his bottom with every shirt he got from the pile.
"Because I might get used to you and need you." Ryu said, sticking out his tongue. Kyo made a lunged at him to try to take a bite off his tongue.
"What if we break up and I have to live with someone else, I don't think I can do this thing, or ask that person to this thing that you got me so used to." Ryu said, hands akimbo.
Kyo looked at him carefully to see if he was serious, "Why are you thinking that we might break up? It's you and me forever and ever, baby." Kyo said, grabbing one of Ryu's brief and putting it like a crown on top of his head, and laughed. Ryu got up from the bed, tried to make a lunge at him but Kyo was quick to dodge him.
"Ahhhhh!!!! I'm gonna kill you!!!" Ryu cried, and they chased each other all over the house. When Ryu caught him, well, when Kyo let Ryu caught him, he kissed him so passionately, Kyo don't know what else to do but to sigh and melt in his arms.
Ryu looked at Kyo carefully, lying on the bed, passed out cold, sleeping. Brushing away his hair away from his wonderful face. Yes, those were the times. He was so happy and content. But why is he looking for more? Wanting more? What else anyone can give him that Kyo hadn't done or hadn't given him yet? He shakes his head, he didn't know. He really didn't know.
Ryu looked at the hand holding him, even in sleep. Kyo wouldn't think twice dying for him. They had a stupid argument about that. He was in one of his foul moods, found his lover irritating, too clingy and suffocating him in the relationship. "Can't you get a life? Why do you always do everything I ask you to? Why don't you contradict me for once? I want to hear YOUR opinion this time, Kyo!" Ryu asked, one question after another. Kyo was thinking how he should handle this, if Ryu had a problem at work, problem with one of his patients? He stood there, watching him.
Ryu picked up his Swiss knife, and handed the opened blade to Kyo, "Slash your wrist!" Ryu commanded, Kyo took the knife and looked at him helplessly. Ryu slapped him and stormed out of the house.
That's when things started to change. Most of the time Ryu would kick him out of the bed and tell him to sleep in the guest room. Kyo was patient with him. Bringing him flowers, doing his old routine. But Ryu wanted to show Kyo that he doesn't need these things, he doesn't need him, he can function without Kyo. He was so determined to piss off Kyo, getting a different scrubs and leave the one he left out, brewing coffee instead of getting the power drink he cooled in the freezer for him. Testing Kyo. He wanted him to get mad, throw a tantrum and put him in his place. But Kyo didn't say anything but continued and tried to everything to please him, satisfy him. Until Ryu got pissed off and told him to move to the guest room. So here they are now.