Disclaimer:I do not own NGE.

Eva cages

What?Is that all you think about it, I mean come on it's a damn huge walking android, Ritsuko didn't like how Shinji was reacting to the things that were supposed to be new to him.

Uh...yeah, yeah I do.Why?Was I supposed to scream and fall down saying "What the hell is that?!".

Yeah pretty much so.

Well how about no Scott.

I see you have come, said Gendo's cold voice from above.

Did somebody turn up the A.C. cause' it's freezing in here...damn.

No you imbasil, it is my voice.

Wha...oh hey, what's up.I didn't see you up there, i'm used to looking down when I think about you burning in hell, said Shinji.

We have no time for this, I have called you here because I have use for you.

No shit Sherloc, I saw the fucking monster outside.You thought I came to pick up that ten year overdue child support check you owe me, or what?

(Gendo clears his throat)Uh...I have no idea what you're talking about.

Asshole...

Dammit, we've got no time for this.You are going to pilot that evangelion.

Alright...i'll do it.

If you're not going to pilot remove your self fro...wait what?You'll do it?

Yeah...yeah I am.Why?Was I supposed to say no and force you to convince me by using your evil ruling to force some other unlucky son of a bitch to pilot instead.

Uh...yes, but that's not the point.

Then what is the point?

The point is what I say goes-

Right out the window, interupted Shinji.

Get in the eva.NOW!!

Fine you ice breathing dick.

A few moments later

Fill the plug, ordered Ritsuko.

"Basicly Shinji had no idea how to act in these situations.So, he just went with the flow"

Entry plug filled and charged, said Maya.

Start syncronisation...now!, Ritsuko was surprised that Shinji didn't really care that his only source of oxygen was quickly being filled with an unknown substance.Maya what's his sync?

Sync ratio at 42.

Inside the plug

Hello mother.

Back to the comand center

What?Impossible!, Maya yelled.

What's impossible?!, commanded Ritsuko.

His sync just sky rocketed.

What level is it!?

It's at a steady 82.

That's wierd...Deploy evangelion unit 01!

Hey that's my line dammit, said Misato who I included here cause' she was staying in the background.

Outside

I'm so pretty oh so pretty, so pretty and witty and gay, Sachiel was currently singing his ass off in his own unheard language.

(Unit 01 gets of that lift thing)

Comand center

Okay Shinji we've got no time to properly train you so you'll be taking a crash course, that means that what I taught now will make you end up crashing, and effectivly destroying innocent lives.Got it.

Uh...okay crazy lady just wait till the men in white coats get here.

(Misato is laughing her ass off)Dammit Shinji i'm not crazy, it's just the pills I take,and because of that i'm not gonna teach you how to pilot that thing.How do you like that you dumb bastard.

Okay...it's your life not mine.

Back outside

"Shinji belive it or not had a plan.He was gonna kick Sachiel's ass and eat him so unit 01 would grow an S2 core and be provided with infanite energy"

(Muse's song "Knights of cydonia" plays in the background to add old western fight effect.Why?Cause i'm from Texas bitch!)

"Shinji ran(to everyones surprize)at full speed at Sachiel.He caught his arms and broke them right off and unit 01's mouth restraints opened and it took a huge bite off of Sachiel's shoulder.This continued until Shinji decided that Sachiel was dead and that unit 01 had enough to produce its own S2 core.But don't be confused during his lunch...ah I mean fight he used his A.T.field to put his idea of a partical beam breathing eva in Ritsuko's thoughts"

A few hours later

After throwing up(everybody threw up)Misato decided to look at Shinji's housing issues.

Hmm...he's living alone(Crazy bastard diserves it),the crazy bastard doesen't diserve it.

After stupidly interfearing with Shinji's living conditions

Hey Shinji there you are, I want to tell you something, said Misato after finding the cell Shinji was in(for no reason at all Shinji kicked security guard ass after he got out of his eva).

Sup' Misato.What did you want to tell me?

Well after stupidly interfearing with your living conditions I managed to become your gaurdian.

Cool, when do we leave?

I can leave when ever I want, but you can't coz' you know you're crazy an all.

Dammit, why did I kick their asses.

I donno, but hey look i've got to go make sure all your things get home...bye.

A/N:...Yes...