Disclaimer: I do not own Life with Derek.
A/N: Another day, another chapter. And I hope it doesn't seem like I'm making lesbian stereotypes. It really isn't a stereotype that I'm trying to make. Anyways, enjoy.
Chapter 7…Rose-colored Glasses
x o x x o casey's p.o.v. o x x o x
I wiped at my mouth with the back of my hand, standing up and flushing away the product of my disgusting habit. I turned to the sink and grabbed my toothbrush and started vigorously brushing at teeth and my tongue. I spit out the mix of saliva and toothpaste that had formed. As my head came away from the sink, I paused to look at myself. I looked so… Pale. So sick. It was like I was looking at myself for the first time ever since I'd started all of this.
I lifted my shirt and sucked in my breath at what I saw. Every time before when I had looked, I must have been wearing rose-colored glasses because I don't remember my body looking so thin and hollowed out, like I was a carcass. It was scary. I could see a distinct outline of my ribs even when I puffed my stomach out to make it look fuller. I looked up at my face. There were deep etches of circles under my eyes. My cheeks looked swollen and red, like I'd been sun burnt. My eyes left the mirror and I looked down at my hands, calloused and dry. And the place I constantly wiped my mouth against looked red and dry. I looked back up at the mirror and bared my teeth. They were no longer their bright white from before, but were now a shade of off-white. My hair was thinner than ever before, turning a mousy color.
Before I could stop myself, I collapsed to the floor, sobs coursing through my throat, making me want to scream in pain each time I felt them come. Tears ran down my reddened cheeks and I pressed my face into my knees, rocking myself back and forth, back and forth in attempt to calm my sobs, which became irregular hiccupping breaths.
I heard the doorknob rattle and a hand slap the door a few times. "Casey!" I heard. It was Derek. "Casey, open up!" I heard his voice crack.
Slowly I got up from the floor, wiping at the tears that kept on coming. I didn't say anything in retaliation. Just walked to the door, unlocked it and opened hesitantly.
I felt new tears come to my eyes as I saw him standing there. His eyes were puffy from crying and I found the sight painful to see. I closed my eyes tightly and brought my lips into my mouth to stop the sobs that were begging to be released.
"Casey…" Derek said. He sounded so distant. Then all of a sudden I felt his arms incase me in a tight embrace. I felt myself give in to the warmth of his body against my cold practically dead one. I felt as he pressed tightly against me, his toned stomach filling into my curved in one. The sobs couldn't be held back any longer and I felt it as I caused both our bodies to shake, my tears dampening the right shoulder of his shirt, but he made no comments, said nothing, and just held me like that for what I thought was forever, slowly stroking my thin, dull hair. I felt sleep pulling at me and my body fell harder against his. He noticed this and stood back, placing his hands on either of my shoulders, lowering his face to look at me head on, his eyes even puffier than before.
"Let's get you to bed," he said awkwardly, as if not sure what else to say.
I just nodded my head and followed him into my room. He lifted the covers from my bed and waited for me to climb in, his eyes still on me. One of his hands flew to his face and wiped at the wetness, looking away just for a second.
Once I'd crawled shakily under the covers, he lifted the comforter so it stopped just below my jaw, pausing to say leaned over me, just looking at me, his eyes darting across my face. And for the first time I saw something in his eyes besides pride. Worry. About me. I turned away, closing my eyes tight and shifting so I had my back to him.
I heard him sigh, like he'd been holding his breath. I heard his footsteps walking to the door.
"Thank you Derek," I suddenly said, in a voice that was so far from the one I'd had two months ago. I heard him pause. I turned slightly, just enough to see him. "Really."
I saw him nod, looking me straight in the eye, before turning away, facing the hallway. "Good night Casey."
I watched as the light from the hallway slowly ebbed away before I was thrown into complete darkness and exhaustion.