Apocalypse by SLynn

Summary: Three years have passed since the explosion and life has drastically changed for everyone. This isn't the world they imagined they'd be saving.

Spoilers: Up to 'Fallout'

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: I'm just borrowing and will return them all when I'm done, virtually untouched.

Chapter 34: Family

Getting back to the safe house had not been easy, it taking the better part of an hour.

The streets were littered with militia searching for them.

D.L. took the lead, instructing them when to go and when to be silent, giving directions and taking control.

Matt continued to walk in the very back of the pack, pointedly refusing to look Claire's way despite her frequent attempts to get his attention.

'Don't be mad at me. Please. I only did…'

Matt just tuned her out. He tuned them all out.

He didn't want to be mad at her but couldn't help it. Claire didn't seem to understand the problems this was going to cause. What it meant for Nathan to actually be coming with them.

Matt believed in forgiveness, but some things just weren't forgivable.

Besides that, what had Nathan done to deserve forgiveness in the first place?

Nathan was only sorry now because he'd been wrong about Peter's death. It didn't change anything. It didn't change what he'd done.

When they finally reached the safe house, D.L. paused outside the door.

"Maybe I should go in first and…" he trailed off and Matt just nodded at him.

Warn the others.

D.L. was back five minutes later opening the door for them all.

Five minutes hadn't been long enough it seemed. The room was equally divided; half looked shocked and half looked angry.

Wisely, Nathan kept his mouth shut and moved as far as he could to the back of the room with Sullivan close behind.

Peter joined them. His posture clear. If anyone had a problem with this they could talk to him.

Claire shuffled off as well, sitting by herself near the window, still clearly torn. She wasn't used to having Matt's opinion so strongly set against her own. She'd come to rely on his judgment that it hurt knowing he thought she was wrong. But she didn't repent it. Not yet at least.

D.L. joined his family, just happy to see them. Not wanting to think about the next move, the next decision. Living the moment.

Matt made his way to Audrey who hugged him tightly.

'What happened?' he heard her thinking.

He only shook his head, not ready to go over it with her right now.

No one spoke.

"So," Hiro began, "are we heading north soon?"

No one answered him.

"Alright," Niki said, "someone has to say it. What the hell, Peter?"

"What was I supposed to do?" he asked her, not unkindly. "Nathan's my…"

"We know that," Mohinder said as calmly as he could, still trying to adjust to the idea of Peter not being dead. "We do, but you can't expect…"

"The colony has never turned anyone away before," Peter said.

"Well," Jacobs countered, "to be fair, no one like Nathan Petrelli has ever showed up wanting in. No offense."

He'd looked directly at Nathan as he'd said that last part, the only one in the room besides Peter and Sullivan who seemed capable of it.

Nathan shrugged as if unconcerned by the subtle sting.

"We can't stay here," Ando said. "Not long. The patrols… This house is safe but in a day or two…"

"We'll go north," D.L. stated. "All of us. We can work things out there. Right now no one in this room is safe."

"The patrols will let up at dawn," Nathan added. "That's standard procedure. At six they have shift change. It would be the best time to leave if we plan on going soon."

Peter looked around the room to see how everyone had taken that bit of information.

D.L., Hiro and Mohinder all seemed to be considering it in a favorable light, or at least they seemed to be considering it. Audrey, Niki, Ando and Jacobs were a bit harder to comprehend, their faces each a bit more stoic. Claire sat with her face completely turned so there was no telling how she felt. Micah looked a bit frightened. And that left only Matt; Matt who was obviously angry.

If anyone objected, Peter knew it would be Matt.

"The council can decide," Jacobs finally said, once more breaking the silence. "Of course, they've never…"

"The council doesn't exist any longer," Peter informed him. "It was Beatrice and Albert who were turning in… they were working with Primatech. We didn't have time to tell you everything, just that Claire…"

Jacobs nodded solemnly and knew this wasn't the time for that either. They could discuss it later.

"Alright," D.L. said deciding it. "Let's get ready. Get a little rest. It's only a few hours until we go."

Everyone got up, began to move about, eager to leave the room and to be doing something. Everyone more than willing to let the matter go for the time being.

Dawn came quickly and just as Nathan had promised the patrols had vanished.

The only hitch was that they were now so numerous that another car was needed to transport them all. Micah, who had a gift with these types of things, located one easily and they loaded up and left before the clock struck seven.

D.L. drove the first vehicle, with Niki, Micah, Hiro and Ando riding along. Sullivan drove the second one with Nathan and Peter, leaving Mohinder to drive the third with Matt, Audrey and Jacobs.

Claire was momentarily undecided.

Matt was certain Claire was going to join Peter, so he was completely caught off guard when she approached his door and told him to slide over.

Matt did as she asked, but still couldn't look at her.

'I just want you to understand.'

"Not now," he said quietly.

"Well when?" she asked.

"If we talk about this now I'm only going to say something that will only end up hurting you," Matt said, putting his head in his hands. "I don't want to be mean, Claire. Just wait, alright?"

Claire nodded silently, turning to look out the window just as Audrey fixed him with a funny look.

'Are you going to tell me?' he heard her ask.

"Later."

Getting back to the colony proved fairly easy, much easier than they thought it would.

After everyone new to the facility was assigned rooms, Peter, Jacobs, Daniel and Maggie all locked themselves up in the council's quarters to discuss their options.

Nathan, wise once more, stayed out of the way; choosing to stay in his room and await his fate.

Both Claire and Audrey left Matt alone for the time being, it was better that way. He needed time to think.

Finally, Claire heard a knock at her door.

"Hi," Peter said as she greeted him.

Claire managed a small smile as she gestured for him to come inside.

"I wanted to let you know what we've decided," Peter said. "We're going to have a meeting in about an hour, but I thought you might want to hear it first."

"Okay," Claire said, sitting on the edge of her bed.

"That and I wanted to thank you," Peter said, sitting just opposite her. "I don't know how you did it, but thank you. Nathan would thank you as well…"

"I don't want his thanks," Claire interrupted. "I didn't do it for him."

"You think it was a mistake? Bringing him here? Saving him?"

"I know he's your brother, but…"

Claire stopped, shaking her head. Not sure what she thought anymore.

"Peter," she said. "He's changed. He's not the same…"

"Everyone keeps saying that," Peter said. It wasn't a denial. He spoke it like a fact. "I realize that a lot has happened. I know what he's done, but…"

"You love him," Claire finished. "I know it. He's your family. You can't stop loving your family, no matter what. I know."

"They're going to let him stay," Peter continued softly. "On a sort of probation. He'll probably never…"

"He shouldn't be trusted," Claire finished firmly.

Peter nodded, not in agreement but in understanding; respecting her feelings on the subject.

"We're also going to move," Peter said after a pause. "The Order knows where we are here and it's just a matter of time before they follow us."

"Where to?" Claire asked. "Where else is there?"

"Jacobs thinks Boston will be safe. It won't be easy, especially at this time of year, but he doesn't think the Order will go that far north. Neither do I."

Claire nodded, considered it as she picked at a stray thread on the comforter covering the bed.

"I know what…" Peter began haltingly. "I know what Nathan staying means… I know, I know Matt won't want to stay after this, but..."

Claire looked up at him in surprise.

"Did you hear him think that?" she asked.

Peter nodded in confirmation.

"He won't stay. At least, that's… that's what I heard from him back at the safe house. He might have changed his mind by now."

Claire stood up to cross the room, folding her arms against her chest.

"I'd understand if you went with him," he finally said.

Claire looked at him as if she didn't know what he meant.

Peter couldn't figure why, just the same way he couldn't figure what type of relationship existed between Matt and Claire. From what he'd seen and heard, he could only guess. That they were close was obvious. It was how close they were that wasn't, at least not immediately.

Three years was a very long time.

"Would you want me to go?"

"No," he answered quickly. "Of course I wouldn't want that but I'd…"

"I don't know," Claire interrupted quickly. "I really don't know."

Peter nodded, getting back to his feet and heading towards the door.

"We could really use you here," Peter said softly. "The colony, I mean. We need people like you."

"Just the colony?"

"No," Peter admitted. "Not just the colony."

Claire nodded, a small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

They said their goodbyes and Claire took a moment to think it over.

She had to clear the air between them, between herself and Matt. She and Matt had been through too much to start fighting like this, to start falling apart this way.

Claire knew she had to talk to him. To find out if what Peter had told her was true; if Matt really was planning on leaving.

She'd hoped he'd heard it wrong.

Not wanting to waste any more time, she headed off to his room.

"You're not going to the meeting?"

Matt looked up at Claire, standing in his doorway, and shook his head.

"Jacobs already filled me in."

She nodded, hesitantly moving inside and shutting the door behind her.

"Where's Audrey?" she asked.

"I don't know. She's pretty mad at me so…"

Matt trailed off with a shrug.

"She just wants you to tell her what's happening," Claire provided, sitting down next to him. "That's all women ever want, all anyone wants. The truth."

"Do you want to hear the truth?" he asked her very seriously.

"I want you to forgive me."

"You don't…" Matt stammered, unsure what to say. "You don't need me to forgive you. I'm not mad… I don't hate you, Claire. You know I can't, but you shouldn't have done it. You shouldn't have…"

"I didn't do it for Nathan," she interrupted.

"I know," Matt said quietly.

"So, where does this leave us?" she asked. "Are you going to stop talking to me or…"

"I can't do it."

Claire shut her eyes tightly, shaking her head.

"Claire, I can't be around that man. I'm trying to be understanding and forgiving and I can't. I can't trust him, I can't forgive him, I can barely look at him."

"No one is asking you to be best friends," Claire said, her voice caught between a plea and a laugh.

"And I know that makes me a hypocrite," he continued, ignoring her attempt at a joke. "That I've blamed him for this as much as he's blamed me, but it's too late to stop now. There's just too much history."

"So what? Are you just going to leave? Just…"

Matt looked at her in surprise. He'd been thinking that, seriously thinking about doing just that since they'd first decided to bring Nathan along.

"How did you…"

"Peter told me," Claire provided. "Remember? He can read minds too."

Matt nodded. He actually had forgotten. Everything was changing so fast. Peter was back from the dead. Nathan was among them again.

"You were," she said, hurt. "You were going to leave. Were you even going to tell me? Ask me if…"

Claire stopped, not sure she wanted an answer or not.

"Of course I was going to tell you," Matt returned, as hurt by the accusation as she'd been by the prospect. "I wouldn't just leave without saying goodbye. Without telling you first."

"But you weren't going to ask me to come," Claire said.

"Would you? If I did ask, would you really do it?"

Claire paused and considered it.

"And that's why I'm not asking," Matt said flatly. "I know… I know you don't want to go. That you wouldn't want to leave and I'm not blaming you for that."

"Yes you are. You're making me choose."

"I'm not asking you to pick sides here, Claire," Matt shot back, trying not to be angry.

"No, you're picking my side for me."

"Claire," Matt said with a shake of his head. "Either I'm asking you to or I'm not. You can't have this argument both ways."

"I know," she said, standing and beginning to pace the room. "I just, I don't want you to go. I want you to stay. You don't have to leave. You're being…"

"Stupid?"

"Stubborn," she said, coming to an abrupt stop.

Claire didn't bother to check the tears that had begun to run down her face.

Matt couldn't even look at her.

"What am I going to do without you?" Claire finally asked, her voice thick with emotion. "Matt, I need you to stay. I won't know…"

Matt was up and across the room before she could finish, pulling her into his arms and kissing the top of her head.

"We both know that isn't true," he said softly. "You don't need me. You'd be fine on your own. If anything, I've needed…"

"You're my family," Claire said. "You're the only family I have left."

"You're not making this easy," Matt replied, his voice a bit shaky.

"Good. It shouldn't be."

"Claire," he said taking a reluctant step back, "this is the only way I can see…"

"It can't be," she said, shaking her head. "It's not fair. It's…"

"I'm not going to make this a 'him or me' situation," he said, his mind already set. "If people here are willing to give him another chance, that's their decision. Not mine. I can't. I can't and it's not…"

Matt turned his back on her, rubbing his face in a gesture of frustration she knew well coming from him.

Claire nodded, thinking now she might understand; at least a little.

"Are you coming back?" she asked.

Matt didn't answer. He didn't know.

"Okay," Claire said finally, turning away as well. "Okay then."

Neither moved.

"Are you going to at least come with us to Boston?"

"No," Matt answered. "I think it's probably better if I don't."

Claire nodded sadly.

"So," she managed. "This is goodbye?"

"Yeah. I think so. For now. I'm not planning on…"

Matt didn't finish.

Claire moved back toward him, back into Matt's arms, hugging him tightly.

"You'd better come back," she said into his chest.

"I will," he said, kissing the top of her head one last time.

"Okay," Claire said, moving slowly away from him. "Then we won't say goodbye. We'll say, see you later instead. Alright?"

Matt nodded, not trusting his voice at the moment.

"See you later then," she said as she reached the door.

"I'll see you later, Claire."

"Okay," she whispered, turning and rushing out the door as the tears began to fall faster and faster.