Alright, everyone. Here's Act 2. I won't really say much here. Enjoy.
(Act 2: Battle)
(Angel Grove: Principal's Office)
(Billy is still sitting there, pants filled with crap.)
Billy: God, I hate this so much.
(Suddenly, his communicator goes off. Beep! Beep! Bip! Beep! BEEP! Beep!)
Billy: Zordon!
(Billy activates his communicator.)
Billy: Come in, Zordon!
Zordon: Billy, you little bitch! Get your ass over to the Command Center now!
Billy: Can't I at least go to the bathroom first? I really have to take another crap!
Zordon: No, I won't let you go to the bathroom first!
Billy: Why not?
Zordon: 'Cause I like watching people suffer. Now get the hell over here before I make you listen to Beyonce!
Billy: (sigh!) I'm coming!
(Billy teleports out of the principal's office and into the Command Center.)
(Command Center)
(Billy beams into the Command Center.)
Billy: Yeah? What is it?
Alpha: Ai-ai-ai! The Power Rangers got diarrhea and are about to get their asses kicked!
Zordon: Billy, your friends have been given massive diarrhea by Pooflinger. You are now the only one left who can fight.
Billy: But I also have diarrhea!
Zordon: But your friends are getting their asses handed to them! You have to help them!
Billy: (sigh!) Fine!
(TRANSFORMATION SEQUENCE)
Billy: TRICERATOPS!
(END TRANSFORMATION SEQUENCE)
(Large City where Power Rangers and Pooflinger are)
(Billy beams into the city, where he sees his friends lying there and Pooflinger.)
Red: Billy! There you are!
Blue (Billy): Sorry, guys. Been through a lot of trouble.
Pooflinger: Just one last Power Ranger for me to worry about! Take this!
(Pooflinger craps, picks it up, and throws it into Billy's face with sparks flying out.)
Blue: AAAAAAGH!
(Billy is sent rolling backward and he recovers.)
Blue: Why you little-
(Billy takes his lance and swings it at Pooflinger. He ducks and then grabs him and throws in the air. Then, Pooflinger flies into the air.)
Blue: Oh no you don't!
(Billy smashes Pooflinger in the face with his lance and knocks him hard into the ground, dust going everywhere.)
Pooflinger: WHAAAAAAAAAAAH!
(Billy lands back on the ground safely.)
Blue: How's that, you big monkey?
Pooflinger: HA! You haven't seen nothing yet! Take this!
(Pooflinger craps again and throws another turd at Billy. It hits him again.)
Blue: AGH!
Pooflinger: HA! Now every Power Ranger has diarrhea!
Blue: But I had diarrhea all along!
Pooflinger: Huh? Damn! Now he no longer has diarrhea! Oh well. I'll just give it back to him!
(Pooflinger craps again and throws more turds at Billy. He dodges each of them.)
Red: Yeah! Go, Billy!
Pink: You can do it!
(Billy keeps dodging them and then runs at him and slams him in the face with his lance.)
Pooflinger: AAAAAGH!
Blue: Yeah! How'd you like that?
(Flash quickly to: Rita's Palace)
Rita: You think this is over? Magic Wand, MAKE MY MONSTER GROW!!!
(Rita tosses her wand and it is sent toward Earth.)
(City)
(The wand stabs into the surface of the Earth and its magic causes the Earth to crackle, making Pooflinger grow into gigantic porportions like almost every minion does.)
Pooflinger: HA HA HA HA HA! Come and get me now, Power Rangers!
Red: Our pleasure!
(The other four rangers get back up and all five raise their hands to the sky.)
Red: We need dinosaur power now!
(The five dinozords come running in and the Power Rangers hop into them.)
(Jason goes into his zord.)
Red: Yeah! Let's do this!
(Billy goes into his zord.)
Blue: Okay, I'm in!
(Zach goes into his zord.)
Black: Alright! Let's take out this monkey!
(Trini goes into her zord.)
Yellow: Ready for action!
(Kimberly goes into her zord.)
Pink: All systems go!
Red: Alright! Power up your crystals!
(The Power Rangers take out their Power Crystals and put them against their monitors. Then, their zords transform into Megazord.)
Red: Yeah! Let's go!
(Megazord goes up to Pooflinger and punches him in the face.)
Pooflinger: OOF! How about this?
(Pooflinger turns around and craps on Megazord.)
Red: AAAAAAGH! There's crap all over the monitor!
Black: What do we do now?
Red: How the hell should I know?
Pink: Well, we've gotta do SOMETHING!
Yellow: Why don't we just sit here and die a slow and painful death?
Red: What the hell kind of crazy idea is that?
(Pooflinger smashes Megazord in the face with his tail. Sparks go flying and the cockpit shakes.)
Power Rangers: AAAAAAAAGH!!
Pooflinger: HA HA HA HA HA HA! I'm unstoppable!
(Angel Grove High: Lobby)
(Tommy is going to his locker when his communicator goes off. Beep! Beep! Bip! Beep! BEEP! Beep!)
Tommy: Huh?
(Tommy activates his communicator.)
Zordon: Tommy! Where the hell have you been?
Tommy: Drinking.
Zordon: For how long?
Tommy: I forgot. Anyway, what is it?
Zordon: Your friends are in great danger. Maybe you should go help them.
Tommy: Alright. I'm on it.
(Tommy takes out his wrist watch and transforms.)
(TRANSFORMATION SEQUENCE)
Tommy: DRAGONZORD!
(END TRANSFORMATION SEQUENCE)
(Canyon (where the Megazord is fighting))
(Tommy beams into the area.)
Green (Tommy): My god, the Megazord's head is covered in shit!
Red: Thank you, Captain Obvious! Now go summon the Dragonzord!
Green: Now?
Red: No, tomorrow, jackass! Of course now!
Green: Alright.
(Tommy plays the Dragon Dagger. DOOOOOO! Do-doooooooo! Do-DO-DOOOOOOOOOOO!)
(Nothing happens.)
Green: Huh? Dragonzord?
(He plays it again. DOOOOOO! Do-doooooooo! Do-DO-DOOOOOOOOOOO!)
(Still, nothing happens.)
Green: Where the hell is he?
Dragonzord (voice): ROOOOOOOOOOOAR!!
Green: Dragonzord?
Dragonzord (voice): ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOAR!!!!! (FAAAAAAAAAART!!!!) Roarrrrrrr...
(FLUUUUUUUUSH!!)
(The Dragonzord emerges out of the water and into the canyon.)
Green: There you are, Dragonzord! Now let's go!
(He plays his flute again. DOOOOOO! Do-doooooooo! Do-DO-DOOOOOOOOOOO! The Dragonzord goes into battle. It swings its tail and smacks Pooflinger aside.)
Pooflinger: OOF! I'll get you!
(Pooflinger shoves Dragonzord into Megazord and they both fall over.)
Red: OW! That son of a bitch!
(Megazord pushes Dragonzord off him, grabs Pooflinger's neck, and bitch-slaps him across the face. Then, he throws him miles away.)
Pooflinger: OW! That does it!
(Pooflinger sticks out his butt, lights out a match, and farts, creating another blaze of fire and it strikes both Megazord and Dragonzord. Sparks fly everywhere and the cockpit shakes, giving the Power Rangers a hell of a ride as it always does whenever Megazord takes damage.)
Power Rangers: AAAAAAGH!
Red: That does it!
(The Power Rangers theme starts playing.)
(Megazord punches Pooflinger straight in the face. Dragonzord drives his tail straight up Pooflinger's butt and he screams in agony.)
Red: Alright, now let's finish him! Power Sword!
(A huge sword comes down from the sky and strikes the ground. Megazord takes it.)
Red: Now let's get 'em!
(Megazord slices Pooflinger and destroys him.)
Pooflinger: AAAAAAAAAAAUGH!!!!!
(Pooflinger explodes and disintegrates.)
Red: Yeah! We beat him!
(The Power Rangers theme ends.)
(Flash quickly to: Rita's Palace)
Rita: GODDAMMIT!!!
(Rita tosses her wand across the room in a fit of rage and it hits Finstar and it knocks him out cold.)
(End of Act 2.)
(Commercial Break)