Chapter 17

As the sound of Snape's footsteps died away, I moved closer to the ring, where Snape had been standing.

"That went well," I commented dryly.

Mother pursed her lips. She did not seem angry, but merely thoughtful. "Indeed," she said softly. "Still much the same," she murmured, more to herself than to me. "Doesn't like to not be in control of his world at all times…"

We were both silent for a few moments. I was thinking about what Mother had just said. Snape did seem to be one of those people who did not react well to surprises or changes that might affect their day-to-day living. Some people loved the way life was full of unexpected twists and turns. Certainly not Snape. Though, admittedly, this was a rather large surprise.

Suddenly Mother gave a little chuckle. Her eyes were shining and she seemed to be staring wistfully into the distance. At my questioning look, she opened her mouth to speak.

"I was just thinking about the birthday party I threw for Severus when he turned six. It was a surprise party and when all the little children jumped up when I brought Severus in, the poor dear was so startled he hexed them all! The parents certainly were not impressed," Mother laughed. "But to this day, I'm sure Severus does not regret that he did it."

"I wouldn't think so," I said, smiling. Mother certainly had a way of lightening the mood. But I couldn't seem to appreciate that as much as I would have liked. My thoughts were so jumbled up.

The image of Snape storming out kept replaying in my head. I didn't know why his reaction bothered me so much. It was not like I had expected to him to open his arms wide and say "Dear sister! What time we have lost! Let us go and have tea – I have much to acquaint you with!" Actually, I would have been more worried if he had said something like that. I mean, I hated the man. He could be unnecessarily nasty and…and…well he was just a git. A git who just happened to be my older brother. I guessed I would have been confused with any reaction I got from Snape.

But where to go from here? It was clearly my mother's intention to have Snape be my guardian and let her spirit be released. But evidently, Snape wasn't fussed with the idea of even having a sibling, let alone playing parent. And I couldn't entertain the idea either of 'playing happy families' as Snape had so eloquently put it.

It seemed as though I was stuck in the same rut as before. Dumbledore only had temporary guardianship of me and had to find a suitable person to take me in. I bet once he found out he'd try and convince Snape to take on what my mother felt to be his brotherly duty. I didn't want that. I didn't want to be taken in by anyone who was being forced to. Snape would have a permanent grudge against me for eternity. My head was starting to hurt.

"Don't worry, Armilla," said Mother. "Severus wouldn't leave you to starve, now would he?"

"Of course not," I muttered. "As my teacher he wouldn't let that happen. But as my brother he would want nothing more than to hand over responsibility to anyone else and wash his hands of the entire situation." By the time I had finish speaking, my voice had grown louder, not to mention increasingly bitter.

My mother stared at me for a long moment.

"I take it he is not a popular teacher here? He does not like you?"

"It's not just me. There are few people he might actually have a civil conversation with. He's awful to all the students, unless they're Slytherins, and handing out detentions appears to be a favourite pastime of his."

"I see." Mother looked thoughtful. "Severus is, and always has been, a very complicated person. His disposition always struck many a person as taciturn and cold. That was how he was raised to be by his father. As his mother though, I will tell you that Severus does feel. He feels deeply beyond the exterior you see everyday. I give you my word that, though not always at once, Severus will always do what is best where it matters."

I stared back at Mother, trying to find figure out if her hope was just wishful thinking. Snape's mother or not, she had never seen him in action as a teacher. I had been nervous of him since my first week at school.

o

As I walked back to my room about half an hour later, I was extremely wary of meeting Snape. I was afraid that he might be waiting for me to rant and rave that as far as he was concerned, he had no sister. Not that I was willing to openly acknowledge the bond that had suddenly sprung up between us, but I didn't really want to feel the rejection, even a rejection from Severus Snape.

There was silence in the hallway and I found my bedroom to be empty. I briefly wondered why Snape had returned so early to the wing anyway. I supposed he had returned to the dungeons for now, and I hoped he would stay there for a long while.

I spent the rest of the morning on schoolwork, though I wasn't really in the mood to study. Lunchtime came and went and I saw no sign of Snape. I supposed he thought it a suitable first punishment (for being related to him) to deny me my lunch. Though I felt a little resentful at this act, I wasn't hungry anyway.

I spent the early part of the afternoon on more schoolwork. By three o'clock I had nothing to do. I supposed I could have studied for my OWLs, but I knew I wasn't about to let any more information sink in today. For a long while I just laid on my bed, staring at the ceiling, letting thoughts crash into each other in my head. Snape, Dumbledore, Mother, Merle, Shar, Father…My head was aching by late afternoon.

Dinnertime came and went and still Snape didn't show. By eight o'clock my head was pounding from lack of food and the previous headache. My stomach was still churning and I felt sluggish. I got up and took a long shower.

At nine o'clock, I decided to turn the light out and go to bed. I stayed awake for what seemed like another hour before I started drifting off…

I was walking into the Great Hall for breakfast. All of a sudden there was silence as everyone looked at me. Eyes from all direction followed me as I made my way to my place and sat down between Lisa and Terry. Terry looked appalled and Lisa looked nervous. The silence around me was broken by muffled whispers. Terry was edging away from me and Lisa was refusing to meet my eye. I looked down the table towards the first years, all of whom gave frightened squeaks at my gaze and turned away.

I looked over at the Hufflepuff table. Many were still looking at me, some with trepidation and many with pity. I snuck a glance at the Gryffindors. The Weasleys looked utterly revolted and Harry Potter was looking at me with a sort of anxious look on his face. When our eyes met, he looked away quickly and fixed his gaze on Cho Chang instead.

The anxious feeling in the air was too much to bear and I didn't feel like eating breakfast. I got up and began to make my way out again. I stopped when I heard cheering and clapping to my right. The Slytherins were standing on their chairs, whistling and clapping, all of them looking at me. Draco Malfoy yelled out, "Come and join Slytherin, Armilla! It's where all Snapes belong!"

I started to run. I had to get out of the hall. I didn't want to be a Snape. I was Armilla Kemp, no one else. Lucia Snape didn't exist anymore. The Great Hall doors slammed shut before I could get out. I turned around and suddenly there were no students at all, only Shar, who was grinning at me with a sly smile. "No way out this time," he drawled. He suddenly reached for me and I screamed, backing up against the door. "Merle isn't here. You can't hide."

"Miss Kemp!"

Someone was calling me. He had a familiar voice, but was on the other side of the door. All I wanted to do was find Merle.

"You're having a nightmare." A hand closed around my wrist and I tried to shake it off. My heart was pounding in my chest as I tried to break free. I stifled a sob, as I was reminded again that Merle was dead. She wasn't coming back.

I heard the deep voice again, seemingly much closer this time. "You're safe. Open your eyes."

The Great Hall suddenly vanished and awareness dawned in my mind.

I opened my eyes, letting out a sigh of relief. It didn't last long. My eyes suddenly met Snape's black ones and I bit my lip in anxiety. Uh oh. He was leaning over my bed, clearly having tried to wake me up. I gazed at him, taking in his neutral expression. My heart was still pounding, as images of Shar flashed in my mind.

Snape suddenly pursed his lips, looking agitated. He let go of my wrist and straightened up. "What did you dream this time, Miss Kemp?"

"Nothing," I muttered, looking away.

"Indeed."

A tense silence followed. I wanted my heart to stop pounding, but the memory of the real Shar brandishing a knife came to the forefront of my mind. This was followed by images of Merle in her last moments. I hadn't been able to properly say goodbye...

"It does appear that your temperament is a rather violent one whilst sleeping," Snape said, turning to the potions on my bedside table. "I'll be on my guard in future."

I glared at him. "I didn't do it on purpose."

"Watch your tone with me," he said darkly, sending me a warning look. "You are to take the last of your healing potions this evening. You are to return to classes the day after tomorrow and I will return to my own quarters." He picked up two potions and held out the first vial to me.

I didn't take it. "Shouldn't it be taken with food, sir?" I hadn't taken the potions with food before, but I wasn't going to let the skipped meals pass.

Snape's eyes flashed and he thrust the vial into my hand. "Drink it," he hissed.

I shook my head. "I don't want it."

Snape's nostrils flared. The look he gave me was absolutely deadly, but he was in the wrong. We both knew that.

"You will drink these when I tell you to, Miss Kemp," he spat. "Then I will get you something to eat."

"It's late," I said, scowling at him. "I don't want food anymore."

"That is not for you to decide," he said curtly, returning my glare. "Drink the potion now or we shall begin discussing appropriate detentions for your disobedience."

I sighed. Stupid git. I downed the potion, followed by the other one Snape handed to me. Then he swept from the room without a backwards glance, leaving the dim light on.

I sat there for a long time, staring at the door, willing my heart to stop thumping. That man was my brother. He was my family. I took a shuddering breath and closed my eyes. It was all too much to comprehend. If only I hadn't investigated my puddle dream. But, my mind pointed out to me, you wouldn't have found your mother.

I put my head in my hands, trying to take deep breaths and calm my raging thoughts. I suddenly wondered what Snape was feeling. Obviously he wasn't happy; he'd made that perfectly clear in the way he'd stormed out on Mother and I. Had he already been to Dumbledore about it? Had he spent the rest of the day mentally cursing me and puddle dreams?

Fifteen minutes went by and I managed to get my heartbeat back to normal, pushing away all thoughts of Shar and even Merle. It was too painful. The presence of Snape in my mind, on the other hand, now seemed harder to avoid. I looked up as I heard footsteps coming purposefully down the corridor and a moment later, Snape strode in, holding a tray. His expression was nothing short of fierce.

Without ceremony, he thrust the tray onto my lap. "Eat your dinner," he snapped. "You are not going to sleep until it is all eaten." Clearly, Snape hadn't liked me criticising him and he had to win at this. Of course.

"Thank you," I said quietly.

He sat down next to me and opened a Potions journal. I looked down at the roast beef and potatoes. My stomach was screaming at me to eat it, but all I really wanted to do was hurl it at Snape. The moment would be funny while it lasted but I was not sure the year of detentions that would follow would be entirely worth it.

A memory came hurtling into my head of my five year old self sitting at the dinner table well past my bedtime. Merle had served peas with the evening meal and I'd refused to eat them. In typical no-nonsense fashion, she'd told me that I couldn't leave the table until they were all eaten. I'd ended up sleeping at the table. Knowing I had won, Merle had given in and let me go to bed. Thankfully, she had never put them on my plate again.

"Now, Miss Kemp," came Snape's voice and I looked over to find him shooting me a withering look. "I do not have all night."

I stared back at him for a moment, suddenly feeling tired.

So I ate it. And I felt better. Snape didn't look up at all the whole time. I thought of Terry and Lisa and what they would think if they happened to walk in now. The sight of me sitting in bed, eating dinner, with Snape reading a Potions journal right next to me must have looked really weird. I dreaded telling my friends about the whole ordeal.

I put the tray aside, trying to push away the sense of misery building within me again.

"May I sleep now, sir?" I asked softly. "Is that allowed?"

Snape lowered his journal and looked over at me through narrowed eyes. He opened his mouth, obviously to say something cutting and to tell me to be careful what I said to him, but he abruptly closed it again.

We sat looking, or rather glaring, at each other for a few moments. Eventually he got up, vanished my tray with a flick of his wand and headed for the door. He turned around in the doorway.

"Tomorrow, you are to stay in here. No wandering about to visit-" he stopped short again. I guessed he didn't feel comfortable saying 'your mother' when she was his mother as well. I found that unsettling too.

"Be warned," he continued. "I shall know if you move outside this room. It is not…safe for you to be exploring this wing, especially on your own. Do you understand?"

"Yes, sir," I said, meeting his gaze. So he didn't want me to see my mother. Maybe he was afraid I would find out all sorts of things he didn't want me to know. I would tell Dumbledore at the first possible chance. He was my guardian for now after all. It was he who had the right to say what I could or couldn't do.

Snape turned to leave, but then hesitated. He looked back at me for a moment, seeming to appraise me. "Would you like Dreamless Sleep?" he asked finally, his tone completely neutral.

I bit my lip, feeling mortified. I wondered if my nightmares had been disturbing him on other nights. Perhaps it had been more than the incident with the puddle dream.

"No..." I said softly. "No, thank you. I'm sorry I've been-" I broke off, feeling embarrassed.

Snape shook his head slightly. "It's for your benefit that I offered, not mine."

I stared back at him, my heart starting to pound again.

He raised an eyebrow. "Still no?"

I was stuck in two minds about my answer; honestly, I could do with a night without dreams, but accepting the potion meant acknowledging that I needed help for nightmares.

Snape sighed, looking irritated again. "I'm going to take your silence as a yes." He took out his wand and summoned a potion from his own room. Catching it deftly, he walked back towards me and held the vial out to me, making no further comment.

Struggling with my pride, I slowly reached out and took it. Snape was silent as I drank the potion.

"Thank you," I said, meeting his eye as I handed the empty vial back.

He nodded curtly. "Mind what I said just now about the rules for tomorrow." He looked sternly at me. "No more expeditions outside this room."

I nodded, laying back down, feeling very sleepy.

Snape said nothing more. He waved his wand, spelling the light off and left, closing the door softly behind him.