Chapter 23

As I knocked on Snape's door, butterflies found their way into my stomach. I felt so uncomfortable at thought of spending the night in Snape's classroom discussing family issues. I would rather have made a potion sitting in silence like I had been doing the previous nights.

I supposed the fact that Snape and I would be discussing our father really hit me over the head with the truth. I mean, I knew that Snape was my brother and everything but…I guessed the time I would spend in the dungeon that evening would be spent as Snape's sister, not Snape's student. Tonight he was in the role of brother. I thought that was what brought the butterflies into my stomach.

I knew what Snape was like as a teacher – a total git. But I didn't know what he would be like as my brother. He was going to be one of my guardians as well. Would he try and exercise power over me and forbid me to talk to Gryffindors, or would he rarely talk to me at all?

Thinking about other girls who had older brothers didn't make me feel any better. Ginny Weasley had loads of brothers who could drive her crazy at times, but I was sure they loved each other all the same. Lisa had an older brother, Michael, and she rarely saw him because he lived in New Zealand with his wife. All families were different and Snape and I were certainly an unusual one.

My stomach muscles tightened when I heard Snape say "Enter" in a low voice.

I slipped quietly into the room and stood by the door, having no idea what else to do. Merlin, I was nervous.

Snape must have been too. He had glanced up at me briefly from his desk when I had entered, and had then busied himself stacking the parchments he'd been marking. He took rather longer than necessary.

Finally he swept towards me, his billowing robes making him seem even more intimidating than usual.

"We'll talk in my office," he said. "Come."

I followed him out of the classroom and walked beside him on the way to his office. My heart dropped when I saw Malfoy, Crabbe, Goyle and Pansy Parkinson coming the other way. Malfoy and Pansy smirked at me when they caught sight of us.

"What have you done, Kemp?" Malfoy whispered as we passed.

I ignored him, staring straight ahead of me instead.

"Must have been caught snogging Boot," Pansy giggled, not as quietly as she may have intended. "She's not pretty enough to get anyone else."

The stuck-up poodle. Snape had slowed his pace next to me, clearly having overheard Pansy's words.

"I don't know," said Malfoy, "I think she's pretty attra-"

Snape whirled around, catching Malfoy off guard.

"Back to your common room!" he snapped. "Now!"

At first the four of them didn't move. They all looked so taken aback that I supposed Snape generally never yelled at them.

"Did you hear me?" said Snape in a low, biting voice. "Move!"

They didn't need to be told again. Within a few seconds they were out of sight. Snape began walking again and I fell into step beside him, feeling utterly sickened.

Malfoy thought I was attractive? Yuck. I didn't want Malfoy making any observations about my appearance. I wondered if people would start saying that Snape and I looked alike once they found out. I thought about this as we walked along in silence. We were certainly not the same height; I had always been short for my age and didn't quite reach Snape's shoulder. I had very dark, straight hair, which hung halfway down my back, but it wasn't as dark as Snape's hair. My eyes were very dark brown, though they were not dark enough to do the endless tunnel look that Snape's could. As far as facial features went I couldn't see a strong resemblance. Thank Merlin I didn't have his nose. You could say we shared the same mouth shape and there was definitely a resemblance in the shape of our eyes, now I thought more carefully about it.

I hoped Pansy wouldn't start a rumour about Terry and I. We had never snogged. I didn't feel that way about him and I was sure the feeling was mutual. I was almost certain that he was concealing feelings for Lisa and had been for the last year or so. That kind of rumour could put strain on a friendship. I knew Pansy would make me pay though now, because of what Malfoy had said, or had tried to say before Snape had cut him off. Pansy's picture appeared alongside the word jealousy in the dictionary.

Once we were standing outside his office, Snape waved his wand with an intricate movement and the door opened. He stood back, nodding for me to enter. I stepped inside and waited as Snape closed the door behind him, waving his wand again to light the room. The torches on the wall gave the room an eerie glow. I stood shivering near the door, as he continued waving his wand using non-verbal magic. I assumed he was soundproofing the room or possibly warding off potential visitors.

I had never been in Snape's office before. There were many jars full of weird things on shelves lining the walls. His large mahogany desk was opposite the door and it was covered in stacks of parchment, quills and ink bottles, as well as a few silver ornaments with serpents on them that added a Slytherin touch to the room. It was extremely cold in the office and I thought longingly of the warmth of the Ravenclaw common room.

Snape swept past me towards his desk and sat down, gesturing for me to take the seat opposite the desk. He watched as I moved forward and sat down silently. Then he picked up his wand again and pointed it at the fireplace to my left. Immediately a great roaring fire appeared and warmth was spreading through the room. I wasn't sure if he had done that for my sake. Maybe he was cold too.

Pocketing his wand, Snape interlaced his fingers in front of him on the desk and leaned forward slightly, watching me closely again.

"I hardly need say that what we will talk about is to remain between us," he began, his voice hard. "My being your brother and guardian may mean that at times we will have to share personal information. I will respect your privacy and I insist you respect mine."

"Of course," I said, looking him in the eye.

He gave a small nod, apparently satisfied at my promise. He looked down at his hands on the desk. I thought he must have been thinking about how to begin the conversation about our father. After a moment, he looked up again.

"I spoke to our mother in Dumbledore's office this morning. I have yet to give her the details of how the repercussions of our discovery are to be dealt with because I know she will not be satisfied. To know that our father is one of your guardians will cause Mother a great deal of grief and I am sure there is more than enough stress shared by living people in regard to this situation, you and I especially."

I gave a small nod. I hated thinking that I was causing all this strain for everyone involved.

"It would have been an easier situation if I had full custody of you or if another carefully selected family did," he went on, still watching me. "But our father is an entirely different matter. He is high up in the Ministry, having an influence over many departments. I suppose you could say that he gives his orders behind the scenes. He is extremely proud, so keeping up appearances is always a priority and I can guarantee that he will lecture you on this. Money has never been an issue for either of our parents and so you will inherit a large sum from him." He paused.

I shifted in my seat uncomfortably. "You should be inheriting it over me," I said quietly.

"But I am not," Snape replied, smoothly, "and nor do I want it. I inherited our mother's home and so have no need to beg for my father's money. You will inherit Merrigan Hall upon my death, but it will also be your home whenever you are with me."

The butterflies in my stomach were doing their usual routine, but I tried to picture what school holidays at home with Snape would be like. I supposed he'd probably just leave me on my own most of the time, so the experience would be similar to our days in the Secret Wing.

"I doubt you will ever consider Snape Manor your home whilst Father is alive," Snape continued, sneering slightly at the mention of his childhood home. "I for one will try my best to ensure your time spent there is limited."

"Thank you," I said softly. I was feeling worse and worse about the prospect of spending time with Aurelius Snape.

Snape, however, shook his head, scowling. "I'm not doing this to be thanked. I may have been in doubt about being your guardian, but from experience I know our father should not have power over any child. He will use any means to make sure he is feared and respected, and will expect you to comply with his every command without question. Compassion is not a quality he possesses."

Wonderful. My father was a saint. I stared steadily back at my brother, trying to keep the alarm from my face.

Snape leaned back in his chair, moving hair away from his face. "I have been looking at your marks from the past few years. It is good for you that you do well in Defence Against the Dark Arts. You can be sure that our father will…test you."

I swallowed. "Test me, sir?"

He nodded. "He feels that the most powerful of witches and wizards should be more than competent in this area. I believe he will want to teach you a great deal of skills, and I daresay you will learn from experience."

I gripped the arms of my chair. Learn from experience?

"Can't you just tell the Ministry that he's abusive?" I asked, trying to keep the panic out of my voice.

Snape shook his head. "I told you the position Father holds at the Ministry. It is common knowledge that our relationship is not…a happy one. He tends to get what he wants, Armilla. At the moment, what he wants is his daughter."

I looked up at Snape, biting my lip.

"He has many methods of covering his tracks," he went on. "He is an intelligent man. Trust me, I would dearly love to expose him for what he is, but you are aware of my position with the Dark Lord."

I nodded. If I kicked up a huge fuss about Aurelius Snape, I would be compromising Snape's position.

"As I said, I will do my best to make sure you spend little time with him, but you will need to be prepared for the period you do spend at Snape Manor." Snape leaned forward again. "I am going to start teaching you Occlumency, with the main purpose of shielding your emotions from Father. It will also be useful for visitors to the house who may have skills in Legilimency."

"What visitors?" I asked quietly, as the butterflies performed somersaults.

"He has a large circle of friends," Snape answered, "many of them members of the Dark Lord's inner circle. A few of them may try and delve into your mind for information and that is where Occlumency will aid you. Of course, while you are with Father, you must believe that I do work for the Dark Lord."

I nodded. "What if I fail at Occlumency?" I was panicking that I would leak information to Death Eaters.

Snape pursed his lips, as if trying not to smile. "You are a Snape now, Armilla. Snapes do not fail."

"Oh." Ah, so the expectations were high.

"I will have to teach you a broad range of defence skills," Snape said, his expression stern once more. "Umbridge is doing her best to make you all backward. After this weekend, I will draw up a new timetable for your extra lessons with me. I will teach you both here and at home. We do not want Umbridge's interruptions."

"Yes, sir."

"We should discuss Sunday," he added. "Father will be watching you very carefully so he can ascertain your disposition." He paused, considering me. "You will need to consider the version of yourself that you will present to him."

I frowned. The version of myself?

"For your sake, it would be best not to challenge Father in any capacity," Snape continued. "If you simply respond politely to his questions, appear to agree with him, and generally remain quiet, you will have a higher chance of an incident-free experience with him."

I stared back at him, feeling a little queasy. "So a meek, mild-mannered version of myself?"

Snape nodded. "Yes. Only to be adopted when you are in Father's presence, of course. I will expect your genuine self when you are with me."

I nodded, wondering how well Snape knew the genuine me.

"He will likely ask you questions about your studies," he went on, "and you shouldn't have any concern in answering them. On the topic of your acquaintances, however, I would say very little. As Mr Boot and Miss Turpin are both pureblood, Father will not be bothered about your friendship with them."

I felt a little relieved for Terry and Lisa's sakes; it was starting to dawn on me how my friends could be impacted by the discovery of my identity. I had never cared about blood status, being raised by a woman who had taught me at a young age about unfounded prejudices in our world.

"I do not know the extent of your social circle," Snape said, frowning slightly, "but if you have any friendships with muggleborn students, you must not mention this to Father."

I was not surprised, but the disdain I felt for the man I had not yet met was growing deeper by the second. I did not have any close friends who were muggleborn; I was friendly with Hermione Granger, and occasionally chatted to her in Arithmancy, but we didn't socialise outside our classes.

"While I am avoiding putting undue pressure on you," Snape continued, "you need to be aware that once our relationship is known, students from my House, namely Draco Malfoy, will be watching you very closely. He communicates with his father on a regular basis and you can be sure that your acquaintances and actions will be reported on to Father."

I caught myself biting my lip and tried to keep my expression neutral. The anxiety within me was another story.

Snape looked down at his desk for a moment, considering his next words. "Father may also be interested in your upbringing," he said quietly. "Though Merle was a retired Auror, she may have known Father at some point during her career, through mutual connections at the Ministry."

I felt a pang in my chest. I did not want to discuss Merle with my father.

"You will need to be on your guard," Snape warned, his expression grim. "I understand that it is a sensitive topic, but you will maintain utmost control in the event that Father makes an...unpleasant comment."

"Yes, sir," I murmured, looking down at my hands in my lap.

There was silence in the room for a moment.

"I will expect you to communicate with me, Armilla."

I looked up to find Snape watching me carefully.

"I do not yet know you well," he acknowledged, "apart from what I have ascertained over four years of teaching you, as well as your recent stay in the Secret Wing, but it is imperative that you do not keep your worries to yourself. While Occlumency is beneficial, a mind that is as unburdened as possible will lead to a higher chance of success in high stress situations."

I nodded, wondering if Snape was referring to his own experiences. I didn't like to think about his role as a spy.

He stood up and walked around from behind his desk. "The papers will be signed tomorrow and so your name will change, as will your life. I will take you to meet Father on Sunday, so I will expect you down here at ten o' clock."

I stood up. "Yes, sir."

Snape pursed his lips again. "And…also, on Sunday, you should begin calling me by my first name in front of our Father. He will think it strange if you don't."

I hesitated. "Alright."

Snape nodded and moved towards the door. He placed his hand on the knob, but didn't turn it. Instead, he turned around to face me.

"Before long, all the students and staff will know about this. I would prefer it if you have as little to do with the Slytherins as possible. I believe they will find this the most interesting of all the houses, including your own. More than anything else, I would appreciate it if you limit your communication with Draco Malfoy."

"Okay," I said quietly. "I never really communicate with Malfoy anyway."

"The Malfoys have been friends with our father for years. Both Lucius and Draco will be very interested in this revelation. Even if you don't communicate now, Draco will certainly be eager to once he finds out. Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if he already knows."

"Oh," I muttered more to myself than to Snape.

Snape nodded again and opened the door.

"Always be on your guard, no matter whom you're talking to. You never know what connections people have or who is eavesdropping." He looked down at me as I moved past him into the corridor. "I will see you on Sunday."

I nodded.

"Goodnight then."

"Goodnight, sir."