Chapter 25
As I lay in bed, I kept mentally pushing away all thoughts that threatened to bring fear or some kind of powerful emotion with it. I would admit that it was not all that easy, but I had heard Merle once use the expression to keep one at arm's length and I used this as the basis of my mental shield.
I kept imagining myself with a steel arm that could force away anything and every time an overwhelming thought slipped into my mind I forced it out again. It didn't always work, but hopefully practice would fix that. I didn't want to stand in front of my father or Snape weak-kneed and trembling out of fright. I wanted to be strong and indifferent. Whatever my father had to say, I wanted to be able to take it without being affected by it. I knew this whole thing would be much harder if I allowed myself to feel all the emotional stress that went with it. So, I was going to try my best to keep this relationship with my father at arm's length.
After finally falling asleep, I had the usual nightmares that Shar featured in. My father occasionally featured in them too, but I never saw his face. My clock said it was 8:22 am and I decided to get up and amuse myself somehow rather than lay in bed thinking. There were soft snores coming from Lisa's bed, so I tiptoed past her to the bathroom to take a shower. Padma, Mandy and Ruby had already gotten up must have been in the Great Hall having breakfast.
When I emerged from the bathroom, Lisa was the only one still in bed. I was glad I had allowed plenty of time to get ready because once I had dried myself off and was standing in front of my wardrobe in my dressing gown, I realised I had no idea what to wear.
I heard a bed creak behind me and I turned to see Lisa sitting up and rubbing her eyes.
"Morning," I said, turning back to stare at my clothes.
"Morning," she yawned. "Ooh, today's the big day."
"Mm." I continued to stare.
Lisa put on mock snobby voice. "Oh dear, what does one wear to meet one's father?"
"No idea," I replied. "I hadn't even thought about it until this morning." I looked over at her. "It's just morning tea."
"Well it doesn't have to be that formal then," Lisa pointed out, getting out of bed. She came over to look inside the wardrobe. "Well, you have plenty of clothes," she said. "This shouldn't be that hard."
Half an hour later, I was finally dressed and ready to go. After only a few changes, we had settled on a knee-length black skirt with a burgundy top under one of my black robes. I pulled some of my dark hair back and left the rest hanging loosely down my back. I tucked the necklace with the pearl Snape had given me under my top. I didn't really want my father to notice it.
Lisa took a step back and looked me up and down. "Beautiful as always," she said, grinning. I scowled at her before breaking into a smirk.
Lisa shut her eyes. "Don't do that," she said. "You look like your brother when you frown."
"Oh, I do not," I said, rolling my eyes.
After Lisa had dressed, we met Terry in the common room and made our way to the Great Hall for breakfast. I was not hungry at all. I was trying hard again not to let my nerves surface.
"You have to eat something, Mill," said Lisa, pouring herself pumpkin juice.
"Yeah," Terry agreed. "Imagine your father saying "pleased to meet you" and your stomach grumbled in reply!"
The thought petrified me so much I nearly knocked over the milk jug as I grabbed a piece of toast.
Terry smirked. "I knew that would get you eating."
Like yesterday, people still couldn't disguise their curiosity. Ravenclaws up and down the table kept sneaking peaks and whispering to their friends, while certain Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs just stared. At one point I saw Hermione Granger elbow Ron Weasley hard in the arm before he looked away to tell her off instead. Next to Ron, Harry Potter seemed to have realised he was staring too because when our eyes met he went slightly pink and quickly looked down at his plate instead.
Snape wasn't at the staff table and I supposed he must have eaten breakfast earlier. I did catch Dumbledore's eyes though and he nodded at me, smiling slightly. Further along, Professor Umbridge was looking extremely put out about something and I hoped that whatever it was, it was giving her some kind of mental or physical pain.
At five to ten, I said goodbye to my friends at the top of the stairs that led down to the dungeons. Terry gave me a supportive smile and Lisa squeezed my hand, not wanting to make a scene in front of passing students. They both whispered a "good luck" and I turned to go down the stairs.
With every step towards Snape's office, my stomach threatened to start its somersault act, but I mentally stretched out the steel arm and did my best to push it away. Time would tell as to how effective it would be.
Snape opened the door before I had a chance to knock, wearing his usual black robes under a travelling cloak. He nodded at me as he turned to lock his office door.
"Hem, hem."
Snape froze, his lips pursed. We both turned around to see Dolores Umbridge standing in front of us in the deserted corridor. She was wearing her fluffy pink cardigan and Alice band in her hair. She looked ridiculous as she fixed my brother with a simpering smile. She ignored me altogether and addressed Snape.
"I have recently discovered, Professor Snape, having been informed by the Minister for Magic himself, that this young lady here is your sister." Umbridge waved her hand towards me.
"Yes, she is," Snape replied, staring straight at her.
Umbridge looked a bit put out for a second, obviously wanting more details. She recovered herself quickly.
"Am I to understand, Professor Snape, that you're now guardian of this child?" She waved her arm at me again.
I pursed my own lips. This child?
"Yes," Snape repeated, his expression void of emotion.
"Right," said Umbridge, sweetly. "I hope having a child to look after will not be too taxing for you, Professor."
"Why would it?" said Snape, glancing briefly at me. "I hardly expect that Armilla will need my attention at every minute of the day."
Umbridge grinned widely, making her look quite startling. "Of course not," she said. "I merely meant that I hope your family life will not…interfere with your teaching."
Snape sneered. "I have no intention of letting anything interfere with my teaching. My private family life will remain just that – private."
Umbridge's smiled faltered. I assumed she got the gist that Snape wasn't about to share any information with her. She drew herself up to her full height, which was still shorter than me, and spoke in a professional tone.
"I understand that you are taking this student off the Hogwarts grounds today?"
"Yes," Snape replied, a bite of impatience in his voice.
"Then I hope you have followed the regular procedure that parents or guardians take when taking a student out of school for the day and have signed the student out?"
"Of course," he answered, his eyes narrowing. "Professor, you must excuse us. We will be very late if we do not leave at once." He gestured for me to walk in front of him so we could move past Umbridge in the corridor.
Umbridge looked put out again, but neither of us stopped to wait for an answer. I fell into step next to Snape and we walked in silence through the draughty dungeons corridors. We didn't see any students until we had climbed the stairs up to the Entrance Hall and I immediately felt eyes upon us. Students from different houses were either entering or exiting the Great Hall and many slowed down and stared curiously when they caught sight of us. However, a few scathing glances from Snape seemed to move them on their way.
It was bitterly cold outside and I shivered as we descended the front steps. I decided Snape would tell me how we were getting to Snape Manor when he was ready. You never knew who might be listening.
I saw one of the school carriages up ahead and stopped short when I saw strange looking creatures attached to it. They were grey, bony and hideous. I wondered where the things had come from; the school carriages had always seemed to pull themselves along.
Having realised I had stopped, Snape turned around a few paces in front of me, looking impatient.
"Come," he said. "We will be late and our father does not look kindly on tardiness."
I took a few tentative steps, still staring at the ghastly animals. Snape seemed to realise what was bothering me as he looked from me to the creatures.
"Ah," he said in a low voice. "I had forgotten you would be able to see those now." He gestured for me to join him.
"Why can I see them now?" I asked, my eyes fixed on them as I walked beside him.
"Because you have seen death," he replied, his voice low. "They are called thestrals and they are only visible to people who have actually seen death. The death of our mother wouldn't have counted because you didn't actually see her die."
"Oh," I replied, feeling a little unnerved.
When we reached the carriage, Snape waved his hand and the door flew open. He stood back and nodded for me to get in first and I climbed in, feeling unsettled about the creatures that would be transporting us.
Snape got in in after me, closing the door behind him. "Be grateful you're not physically riding the beast," he said thoughtfully, as if thinking of another memory. "That's worse."
I smiled slightly. I supposed it wasn't that bad.
As the carriage started to move, I glanced out the window at Hogwarts, wishing I was inside with Lisa and Terry.
"Dolores Umbridge is obviously on the lookout for information," said Snape, also looking through the window at Hogwarts. "We shall have to be very careful."
"I think all the students know by now," I said, looking back at him.
Snape didn't seem surprised as he turned to me. "And how did they find out?"
"Malfoy decided to let it slip in the doorway of the Great Hall yesterday," I answered. "He held a crowd up in the doorway, enough people to ensure it would spread quickly to every table. By the end of lunch, I think everyone knew."
Snape shook his head slightly, a deep frown on his face. "Am I to presume you were the focus of people's stares for the duration of the meal?"
I nodded. "Yes, though the Slytherins were a little more subtle than the others."
"As I would expect," Snape replied indifferently. "And the Ravenclaws?"
I hesitated. "I'm not sure what they think. It's just news at this point...something to talk about."
"Indeed."
I watched the castle disappear as the carriage went round a bend and focused again on the steel arm as my anxiety started to creep in again.
Snape changed the subject. "We're going to the Three Broomsticks. Madam Rosmerta is going to let us floo using the fireplace in her backroom. Dumbledore arranged it with her. At that point, Umbridge was not aware of our connection and we do know that she is watching the fireplaces. We don't want her keeping track of our movements."
I nodded, turning back to him.
"I can guarantee you Father will be watching you very closely today," he went on. "It is best if you try to remain as indifferent as possible to every comment."
"I will," I said quietly.
Snape met my gaze, his expression serious. "It will be fine as long as you show him the proper respect and decorum that he expects."
"Yes, sir." I looked down at my hands. Steel arm. Steel arm…push emotion away…
I became aware that Snape was still watching me. I looked back at him, doing my best to look indifferent. Snape would probably know what I was feeling anyway. After all, he was the other child of Aurelius Snape.
A few minutes later the carriage had stopped outside the Three Broomsticks and we got out. I followed Snape inside and saw Rosmerta nod her head slightly at us as she dealt with a customer. This must have indicated her permission for us to enter the room at the back of the pub because Snape made directly for the door.
Once we were inside, Snape strode purposefully to the fireplace. "Have you travelled by Floo before?" he asked.
"Yes," I replied, thinking back to the times I had done it with Merle to visit her friend, Matilda.
He nodded, seizing a handful of floo powder from a pot on the mantelpiece. He indicated for me to do the same.
"I'll go first," he said, stepping into the flames. "You follow directly after, alright?"
"Alright," I said, swallowing.
He nodded as he dropped the powder into the fire. "Snape Manor!"
A second later he was gone. I gave it a few seconds before I took a deep breath and stepped into the fire.
"Snape Manor!"
As I whizzed through many fireplaces, I kept the steel arm image in my mind, trying to control my nerves.
At last I came to a halt and stepped out of a huge, extremely intricate fireplace. Snape was a few feet away, removing the ash from his robes with a spell. He came over to me when he had finished and pointed his wand at my robes, repeating the same spell.
"Master Severus," came a high pitched voice. "How simply delightful to see you."
We both turned to see a wrinkly old house elf standing on the opposite side of the room. We were in what I guessed was one of the many parlours in the house. The room was elegantly furnished and only a glance told me my father was very rich.
The house elf's tone suggested that he didn't think it was delightful to see Snape at all. He seemed to have a permanent sneer on his ancient little face.
"Jiffy," said Snape, his lip curling as he looked down at the sour creature. "Kindly announce our presence to Father, would you?"
"No need, no need," came a deep voice, deeper than my brother's voice. I looked up from Jiffy to see a tall man coming through the open door on the other side of the room. He looked to be in his late sixties. He had a hooked nose, much like Snape's, and long, dark grey hair that fell loosely down his back. His robes were of a dark grey and silver and clearly well made. His wrinkled face was cleanly shaven and his black eyes were cold as he looked down at the elf.
"That will be all, Jiffy," he sneered.
"Yes, sir. Jiffy is going now, sir," Jiffy squeaked, bowing so low he scraped his long nose across the rug. He scampered out of the room.
Snape put his hand on my back and pushed me forward gently to move to the other side of the room where our father was standing.
Father's eyes were on me. Completely fixed on me as if I were a new subject of prey. Steel arm…steel arm.
I felt my confidence grow slightly as I looked at him. They were just as cold as when they had been fixed on the elf. Steel arm. I could do this.
"Armilla," Father said with a smile that did not reach his eyes, holding out his hand.
Thinking he wanted me to shake it, I took it. Instead of shaking it however, he pulled me closer and kissed my cheek instead. I fought back a shudder.
Keeping hold of my hand, Father looked at me. "I was delighted to find out about you," he said. "Much too late, of course. If my dear wife was alive there would be consequences to pay for hiding you from me."
I didn't say anything. What could I say? Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Snape moving closer.
"But now I know and that's the main thing," he continued. "I wanted a new heir." He nodded at Snape, as if just realising he was even there. "I disowned Severus. An ungrateful, disloyal child if there ever was one." He glared at Snape, who stared back at him.
Father turned back at me. "But you will be different. You will not have your mother here to baby you. I highly doubt that Severus will coddle you, so I hope you will prove a suitable heiress to the Snape fortune. Come, brunch will be served in the breakfast room."
Snape and I followed him out the door, along a corridor that had many portraits of hooked nose men and into a lavish breakfast room. It was a brightly lit room, with a round table that could seat twelve people. The windows looked out onto a cobbled courtyard.
The table was set for three, and Snape and I waited as Father seated himself.
He looked me up and down. "You're small for a fifteen year old," he said. "Your mother's genes there, I suppose. But there is no doubt we'll secure a suitable match for you."
"A match?" I asked, keeping my voice neutral, as Snape had warned.
"You're the heiress to a large fortune, child." Father explained. "Not only are you a pureblood, you are a member of a very old wizarding family. I can guarantee that once you have been presented to wizarding society, wizards will be flocking here offering large sums to have their sons marry you."
"Oh," I said. What the hell?
"Well, sit down you two," said Father, waving a hand towards the seats opposite him. "I didn't invite you here to watch me eat."
We both sat, as Father flicked his wand to make the teapots pour steaming tea into our cups.
"And to cap it all off, Severus," Father went on, casting a look at his son, "I would say she's quite beautiful, wouldn't you agree? She certainly reminds me of your mother."
Snape paused, his hand outstretched towards his cup. He glanced at me briefly, glaring slightly, though I supposed the glare wasn't actually intended for me.
"Yes," he replied, picking up his cup, "though I believe a brilliant mind is more important, Father."
"Of course you do," said Father, watching his son closely. "From what you've told me, your sister possesses a promising mind." He directed his attention to me. "As long as she knows when to apply it and when to do as she is told."
I met his gaze. What a git.
"Tell me, Armilla," Father said, as he stirred sugar in his tea, "are you acquainted with many pureblood witches and wizards at Hogwarts?"
"Yes," I replied.
"And do you find many of the young pureblood wizards promising?"
Now I was uncomfortable. I had just met the man and all he wanted to know about was my love life.
"I haven't really thought about it," I answered.
"She's only fifteen, Father," said Snape, disdainfully. "I think her studies are more important than adolescent wizards."
"I'm sure you do, Severus," Father said, rolling his eyes at his son. "I'm thinking of the future."
"Then why not talk of her career?" Snape pressed him.
Father frowned. "Because that is not important. Her role will be to marry a respectable pureblood wizard and produce an heir. The Dark Lord is keen to increase our pureblood population, as you well know. Our family must play a part."
The steel arm I was focusing on threatened to falter at these words. Dear Merlin...What was wrong with this man? I was fifteen and he was talking about me reproducing? And reproducing for the Dark Lord's satisfaction at that?
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Snape glowering at Father. "As Armilla is a child," he said through clenched teeth, "I will not have this discussion with you and nor will I allow you to speak of it in her presence."
Father raised an eyebrow. "Allow me, Severus? You are sorely mistaken if you believe you have any influence over me."
Snape gave Father a sour look. "I have never laboured under that delusion, Father, as you well know."
Father merely scoffed, choosing to drink his tea.
My mind, meanwhile, was completely taken up with trying to shield my emotions. I was seeing the proof that I had become a member of a very complicated family.
"Well, Armilla," Father said pleasantly, placing his cup on its saucer, "plenty of my friends have expressed an interest in you. Lucius Malfoy has been asking after you. Don't roll your eyes at me, Severus. I believe he has high hopes for Draco."
Ah, so Draco Malfoy was interested. That would put Pansy's nose out of joint.
"Are Armilla's marks as high as Draco's, Severus?" Father asked. "Lucius is always telling me how well his son is doing."
"Armilla's marks are higher," Snape answered. "She sits at the top or near the top in most of her classes."
"Typical Ravenclaw," said Father, with a small chuckle. He looked back at me. "Let us hope that your marks stay that way, as I will not tolerate any failure on your part."
"Yes, Father," I said quietly.
"And what is your top subject?" Father asked.
"Charms."
He nodded. "Ah, like your mother. I expect that pleases your Head of House, seeing as he teaches the subject." He looked at Snape. "And Potions?"
"She is more than adequate in Potions," Snape replied, glancing at me.
I pushed back the dry laugh in the back of my mind at his answer. Snape had made a nasty comment to me only weeks earlier about potentially being the first member of his remedial Potions class when I had made an error. I had always gotten decent marks in Potions, but that had clearly been a bad day.
"And Defence Against The Dark Arts?" Father pressed, still looking at my brother. Honestly, he could have asked me.
"Her marks are near the top," Severus said indifferently, "though I have not seen her skills firsthand."
"Mm," Father grunted, looking at me appraisingly. "We shall see. I would like for you to be accomplished in that subject, like your brother is, but my plan for you is to learn your place in our society as a pureblood witch."
Once again, I concentrated on my mental shield. My place in society? What did he mean by that?
"I hope you have been raised well enough by Merle Kemp," Father went on, reaching for a slice of bread.
My heart started to pound at the mention of Merle's name. Steel arm. Keep emotions back.
I saw Severus looking over at Father, a slight frown on his face.
"I didn't know Merle well," Father commented, spreading jam on his bread. "I spoke with her occasionally at Ministry gatherings many years ago. She was held in high esteem, as many Aurors were and still are-" he paused to roll his eyes. "Nevertheless, she was known as a witch of no nonsense and good judgement, very necessary in her profession." He looked over at me. "I do hope that she passed on the correct values to you, especially in regard to blood, but I have my doubts."
I said nothing. Merle had passed on her views about blood status to me, but they certainly weren't the views of my father.
The morning tea went on much the same with me giving small, polite answers as Father chattered away and Snape fumed silently.
Finally, Snape placed his serviette on the table. "We had best be getting back to Hogwarts, Father. Armilla has studying to do." He stood up and I joined him, hiding the relief from my face.
Father looked disappointed, but he stood as well and came around the table. "I look forward to having you stay here, child," he said. "I will teach you all about what it is to be a Snape." He reached for my right hand and held it in both of his. "Your brother is not worthy of the name."
Next to me, I saw Snape glare contemptuously at Father. As Father leaned forward to kiss my cheek, I felt my brother take my left hand. I could practically feel the fury radiating from him as he gripped it. The pressure only lessened once Father had stepped back and released my other hand.
"Goodbye, Armilla," Father said, smiling at me. "I look forward to seeing you soon and without your brother's presence."
"Goodbye," I said quietly, as I felt Snape's grip tighten again.
I waited for him to say goodbye or for Father to say goodbye to him, but Father turned back to the table without a backwards glance.
Snape turned and led me briskly from the room, holding my hand so tightly I thought he would break it.
When we were back in the parlour, he thrust the floo powder pot towards me and jerked his head at the fireplace.
Taking a handful of floo powder, I stepped back into the fireplace, taking in the deep scowl on my brother's face.
"The Three Broomsticks," I said, and was soon whizzing through fireplaces once more on my way back to Hogsmeade.
Welcome to the family, I thought grimly to myself.