Chapter 28
After Snape was satisfied that I had eaten enough lunch, I left the dungeons in search of my friends. I found them sitting on the grass near the lake, basking in the afternoon sun.
"Hey, Mill," Terry called as I made my way towards them.
"So, how was it?" Lisa asked anxiously, as I settled on the grass next to her.
"Okay," I said honestly. "I wouldn't nominate him for Witch Weekly's Father of the Year though."
"Snape has to be in his thirties," said Terry, thoughtfully. "Lord…how old is your dad?"
"In his sixties," I replied. "But I don't find it that strange. Merle was also an elderly parent."
"True," Terry admitted. "What was it like? I mean, a morning tea with two Snapes in the room?"
"Three," I corrected.
Terry and Lisa looked uncomfortable.
"It wasn't that bad," I said, staring at the grass. "He's an old-fashioned pureblooded fool who wanted to talk of nothing except potential pureblood suitors for me and my role as a pureblood witch."
Terry's mouth dropped open. Lisa wrinkled her nose.
"You're fifteen, Mill," she said. "I think a small percentage of our year is dating, but as far as I know, no one's engaged yet. You may be the first."
"Ha ha," I muttered.
"So did Snape agree with all this?" Lisa asked.
I let out a hollow laugh. "No way," I said, bitterly. "He's all for focusing on nothing except study." I thought for a moment. "Actually, he may have been more irritated by our father today than I was...and that's saying something."
"So Snape and your dad are really different?" Terry asked, watching the Giant Squid poke its tentacles out of the water.
I didn't answer at first. I hadn't really stopped to compare the two.
"Well, physically, Snape looks a little bit like him. They have the same nose and eye colour, but otherwise I would say Snape looks more like my mum. In everything else, I think they are both true Slytherins. My father especially seems like he would stop at nothing to achieve his own goals. But…somehow I think they've got completely different morals. I only met my father today but a strong feeling inside me tells me he is no good."
"And your brother?" asked Lisa, softly. Terry leaned forward.
"I don't think he's all good or all bad," I said, simply. "I know I would prefer his company over my father's, no matter how temperamental he is."
"So should we start valuing the time we have with you?" asked Terry. "Are you going to be whisked away soon in an arranged marriage?"
"No," I said, punching him lightly in the shoulder. "Not if Snape has anything to do with it. He doesn't want me to even think about marriage until I've well and truly left Hogwarts."
"Well that's alright," said Lisa. "My parents are just the same. Dating is different, though. They don't mind me dating, as long as it doesn't affect my marks."
"Oh, as if anything could affect your marks," Terry scoffed. You'd trample over anything or anybody who got in the way."
Lisa went red. "Shut up," she said, her lips pursed. She looked as though she couldn't decide whether to take offence or smile.
"Do you reckon Snape would care if you dated?" asked Terry, grinning. "I mean, would he have this protective older brother thing and veto every boy you looked at?"
"Oh, he would care," I said, airily, "but the veto thing wouldn't happen. I'm not allowed to date." I still knew that Snape had made a good point, but even so, I was still inwardly fuming that Snape was well and truly using his rights over me.
"What?" Terry and Lisa exclaimed, their eyes wide.
"Oh, come on," I said, acidly. "Does that really surprise you? Did you really think Snape would be happy for me to date another one of the students he detests?"
"Yeah, good point," Terry said, laughing. "Merlin, imagine having him for a brother-in-law!"
"Hey, Mill," said Lisa, giggling. "If you have children, will they call him Uncle Sev?"
I shuddered. "Shut up."
o
Later that evening, I left Lisa and Terry in the common room, making the excuse that I was tired and wanted to go to bed. I got changed into my pyjamas and got into bed holding the chocolate frog card, knuts and my wand. I drew the curtains around my bed and sat staring at the card.
"Lumos," I whispered, making a soft glow come from my wand.
The wizard on the front was snoring. He was resting his head on his hand and had his mouth hanging open. No messages then.
"Revelare," I whispered, pointing my wand at the knut. Immediately, the coin turned into Defence against the Darkest Magic. I picked it up and flipped through it. A few pictures in it made my stomach churn. There were pictures of hideous skin disorders, people's body organs attached to the outside of their bodies and lists of many curses that performed such appalling actions I shuddered countless times. I could see why the book had been bought in Knockturn Alley. I then explored the other knut back into a book and found that it held even more curses and their counter-curses than the first one.
What made me feel sick was not the content of the books, but the fact that I was reading them in preparation in case my father performed them on me. I felt a pang of compassion for Snape and my mother. No wonder they were so against me being anywhere near my father. And Snape had endured it throughout his whole childhood.
No wonder he's turned out the way he has, a voice inside me said. You would have probably been the same if you had lived with him during your childhood instead of living with Merle.
The anger I was feeling towards Snape died down a little bit. I supposed that he was going to be over protective in all matters concerned with me. In all honesty, I guessed that Snape wanted to make sure I didn't travel down the same path he did.
"Dissimulare," I muttered, pointing my wand at each of the books. They shrank and turned back into the knuts. The wizard was still sleeping.
"Nox." I stuck my wand and the card under my pillow and laid down to sleep.
Once again, the nightmares came.
o
In a bit of a twisted way, I came to be thankful that Draco Malfoy had let slip that I was Snape's sister. Classes the next day would have been more difficult if no one had known.
Though most the school knew about me being Snape's sister by now, it was still a shock to all the students in my classes when I was addressed as 'Miss Snape' by the teachers. Professor Flitwick seemed to like the new name so much he used it in every sentence every time he spoke to me, which to me was like beating the other students over the head with the new information.
Every time I was called 'Miss Snape' during the day, everyone would turn and stare in my direction, looking either politely interested (generally Ravenclaws) or stunned (every other house). I supposed it never occurred to them that my name would be changed.
Malfoy and his cronies sniggered when they heard it. The Hufflepuffs actually looked fearfully at me, while the Gryffindors eyed me warily all lesson. Ron Weasley whispered something to Hermione Granger, who shook her head at him. He shook his head too and I heard him mutter an appalled "bloody hell". Harry glanced at me, a little stunned when he heard my name, but he didn't look in my direction much after that. Good, I didn't want all that attention from anyone. Thankfully, I didn't have Potions; I wasn't sure if hearing Snape call me by my new name felt right. Perhaps he would avoid using my name at all.
That evening, I made my way down to the dungeons again to make a potion, feeling rather subdued. Another evening of making a potion on my own whilst Snape marked work at his desk, largely ignoring me, was not at all enticing.
As I turned into the corridor leading to Snape's classroom, I saw Draco Malfoy coming the other way, without his bodyguards for once. Out of nowhere, Snape's voice came into my head.
"More than anything else, I would appreciate it if you limit your communication with Draco Malfoy."
Sighing, I continued walking, planning to walk right past him. But, of course, Malfoy had other ideas.
"Armilla," he said, pompously, standing in my way. "How lovely to see you." Hmm, I didn't like this first name basis thing.
"Malfoy," I greeted, nodding slightly at him.
"And what brings you down to the dungeons at this time of the day? A chat with your brother perhaps? I do hope the two of you are close." He was rocking back and forth on his feet, a smirk on his face.
I moved a step to the left. Malfoy moved in front of me.
"You're in my way, Malfoy," I said, in a low tone.
Malfoy raised an eyebrow. "Am I?" he said. He took a small step back. "I do most sincerely apologise. But I must point out that you failed to answer my question."
"And you fail to realise that whatever I do is none of your concern," I snapped.
That wiped the smirk off his face.
"Easy Kemp," Malfoy spat. "Or should I say, Snape. I know your father very well. He would be most interested to know how you treat your fellow students, especially pureblood Slytherin students who are old family friends."
I froze. That had struck a nerve. Malfoy would feed all his information to his father, and consequently, to my father.
"So excuse me if I am interested in your affairs," said Malfoy, smirking again, looking thoroughly pleased with himself. "For I am most interested."
"And I am most interested in why the two of you are having a conversation in the corridor when you both have places to be," said a deep, very familiar voice. Merlin, that man could move without sound. We turned to see Snape standing behind us. His eyes flitted from Malfoy to me. He looked far from pleased.
"Professor Snape," said Malfoy, pleasantly. "I was just asking after your sister's welfare and making sure she knew where your office was."
Snape pursed his lips. "Indeed. I do believe Armilla is aware of the location of my office, Mr Malfoy."
Malfoy's smile faded. "Oh. Well, I had best be going…um…prefect meeting."
Snape nodded. "Yes."
Malfoy turned to face me again. "Goodbye, Armilla. See you around." Without waiting for an answer, he turned and walked towards the dungeon stairs leading to the Entrance Hall.
Snape looked down his hooked nose at me. "I was wondering why you were late," he said. "Come." He swept off down the hall, passing the Potions classroom.
"I couldn't avoid him," I said quietly, hurrying to keep up with him.
He didn't answer. We went inside his office and Snape sealed the door behind him. I wondered why we were in his office, rather than the classroom.
"He made it clear that if I avoid him, his father will know," I said, watching Snape move towards his desk.
"Then you will have to tolerate him," he replied, turning to lean on his desk. "You will have to be polite to him to save your own neck, but you are not to be friendly with him."
"I had no intention of it," I muttered, more to myself than to Snape.
"Take out your wand," Snape ordered, straightening up and withdrawing his own ebony wand from his robes.
I complied. My wand was significantly lighter in colour than Snape's. It was Rosewood, 14 ¼ inches. It was best suited for healing, charms, and defence. I had never explored much in the way of defensive magic, outside of my Defence Against The Dark Arts classes, but then, I had never needed to.
"You have caught up well enough in practical Potions," Snape said, watching me closely, "therefore you will not be making a potion tonight. There are more pressing matters at hand. I trust you had a look at those books I gave you?"
"Yes, sir," I said, doing my best not to wince as I thought of some of the disturbing images on those pages.
"They are not as graphic as some of the texts I could have selected for you," he said, still watching me. "However, they will give you a realistic sense of what to expect once you live at Snape Manor."
I looked away, my stomach turning. I knew Snape wasn't trying to scare me; he was being realistic. He had been through it himself and knew what was in store for me. I had to be prepared.
"Look at me, Armilla," said Snape quietly. I looked back and met his gaze. His expression was completely neutral.
"These lessons will not guarantee success in defending yourself from Father or indeed, healing yourself. But it will be better for you to go there being ready to face anything, and not just from Father. He does like to have guests-" he paused.
I didn't want to think about what he meant by that.
"I expect you will have to spend some time there during the Christmas holidays," he continued. "I hope to arrange for you to spend Christmas day here, but you may have to spend a few days afterwards with Father."
I nodded. Goody. Didn't you just love the happy, joyous, festive season of Christmas? Especially when you knew that after it was over you got to spend it with a lunatic for a father?
"That said," Snape said, "we have a couple of months for you to strengthen your skills in Defence Against the Dark Arts and healing. There is no time to waste and I expect you to have full commitment in these lessons. Do you understand?"
"Yes, sir," I said, looking him in the eye. I meant it. I just hoped I wouldn't prove to be a complete dunderhead in his eyes.
"Now," said Snape, going into Professor lecturer mode. "What can you tell me about Legilimency and Occlumency?"
I thought back to what Merle had told me. She had said she would teach me both. I felt a slight pang in my heart just thinking of her.
"Legilimency," I started slowly, "is the ability to look into another's mind and find their memories and feelings. Occlumency allows one to seal their mind to stop another breaking into it."
Snape narrowed his eyes. "You sound like Miss Granger."
I gave a small smile. Hermione had always reminded me of Merle.
"Nevertheless," he went on, "that is correct. Now, I will attempt to break into your mind and you must do your best to stop me entering."
"How do I do that, sir?" I asked. I didn't really want Snape to see my thoughts. But I had a vague suspicion that my 'steel arm' thing would come in handy.
"You may use any defensive spells you can think of," he answered, "or you might consider using magical imagery as a weapon of defence." He gave me a knowing look. "I believe you are already familiar with that branch of magic."
I looked back at him, giving a tiny nod. I wondered how much Snape had seen in my mind before I had started using the steel arm strategy.
"I won't always ask you if you are ready," said Snape, raising his wand. "Legilimens!"
Everything around me vanished. All of a sudden, images were swimming in front of me, memory after memory, some I didn't even know I had. I was four; Merle was telling me the reason why I didn't call her 'Mum'. I was eleven; the Sorting Hat was telling me that I was without a doubt a Ravenclaw. Then I saw a couple of more recent memories; Merle's last breath, Shar coming towards me with a knife…no…I didn't want to relive that. I pushed the steel arm up in my mind, mentally pushing the memory off into the distance. Focus…focus…just concentrate on the arm…
Snape's office came back into view and I gasped for breath, images of Merle and Shar swimming in my mind.
Snape was standing further away now and I wondered briefly if by pushing the memory away I had also magically pushed Snape away without touching him. His expression showed no anger, though he was giving me a calculating look.
"Well, it does appear that you will master Occlumency sooner than I thought," he said, coming to stand in front of his desk again. "Tell me, the mental weapon you used to push me away – have you used it before?"
I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. If I said yes, Snape would want to know why I had been doing it. I just didn't really want to share my personal thoughts and fears with him yet. Though he was undoubtedly my brother, I didn't know him well enough to confide in him. If I said no, I knew Snape wouldn't believe me. I guessed that Snape already knew the answer anyway. He just wanted confirmation of it.
"I'll take your silence as a yes," said Snape, his dark eyes fixed on mine. "I suspected as much. It is an advantage to us that we will not have to take up so much time on this now. We will be free to devote time to defensive spells and counter curses."
Oh good. He wasn't going to question me after all.
"You do need to improve your timing, however," he went on. "You let me get in too far before you even attempted to push me back. Had I been an unwelcome intruder looking for vital information, chances are I could have found it in that time. As soon as you feel an intrusion you must react. Legilimens!"
The room vanished just as it had done before. I saw a blur of colour emerge as Snape started to delve into my memories. Right away, I focused on the steel arm again. It was successful for a couple of seconds, but then it flickered as Snape pushed harder. The memory of Snape catching me in a hallway of the Secret Wing while I was having the puddle dream came into focus. Not wanting to relive the embarrassment of that, I mentally made the steel arm wider and concentrated on it having more strength than before. This time it was well and truly successful. Snape's office came back into view in time for me to see Snape staggering backwards.
He straightened up again and gave a small nod. "That was an improvement, certainly," he said. "The timing was better than before but whatever mental weapon you are using must be made stronger. I was not using all my magical strength to invade your mind and I assure you, others may." He came to stand in front of his desk again. He regarded me closely. "I do hope you have seen the end of your puddle dream?"
I glared at him, though admittedly half-heartedly. I didn't think he was trying to be malicious.
Snape smirked. "Yes? Well, thank heavens for that."
I continued to glare at him. Alright, alright. You've had your fun…let's move on.
We went on for another hour, with Snape trying different tactics to catch me off guard. He would innocently ask me to pick up a book lying on a desk and as I would comply, he would cast the spell. Also, he would start commenting on what I needed to do and would finish the sentence with the spell.
A couple of times, he got straight in and then I would have to bare the displeasure on his face when I finally pushed him away. By the end of the hour though, I was successfully pushing him away, even when he was pushing with a great deal of strength.
"Well, you have progressed quickly in a short space of time," said Snape when we finally stopped. "Until our next meeting, you must constantly practise though, even if it means putting the barrier up when you are talking to other students or teachers. Get into the habit of having it up whenever you are talking to anyone. This way, you'll find it easier to throw someone out if you're suddenly invaded."
"Yes, sir."
"We have another lesson tomorrow afternoon," Snape went on, pocketing his wand, "which you will see on your chocolate frog card. Even if some of our lessons are not set aside for Occlumency, I may choose to invade your mind at anytime during them."
Oh, excellent. Constantly being on my guard was going to get tiring…
"You may go, then. I am sure you have homework to do as well." Snape waved his wand to unlock the door.
I made my way to the door. As I opened it, I turned around. "Goodnight, sir," I said quietly.
Snape looked up at me, his blank expression flickering slightly to reveal a hint of surprise. "Goodnight, Armilla."