The Electrical Storm

By: Emmy and Erin

Part Three - Some Way Back

You're in my mind

All of the time

I know that's not enough

If the sky can crack

There must be some way back

For love and only love

The house was silent when Saitou entered it. There was no quiet murmur from the television, no sound of static from the radio that didn't work. There was dead silence, and it set Saitou's nerves on edge. His house was never quiet, there was always the sound of Sanosuke complaining or throwing a fit. Even when he was sleeping he still made noise.

For it to be this quiet there had to be something wrong.

But Saitou was never one to let any of his emotions show. So he didn't vary from his usual routine as he searched for the reason for the quiet. He carefully hung his coat up and set his briefcase down, heading into the kitchen to get himself a drink of water. There was no sign of the usual sea of dirty dishes that littered the sink and for a moment, Saitou felt a brief stab of panic. But it was gone almost before he could realize what it was.

He had been gone from his home on a business trip for a while. A homicide that matched a serial killer his district had been tracking was in a neighboring city. His small group was called in immediately, and the job was intense. He hadn't had the time to call home. He figured that it wouldn't even matter, since he couldn't get rid of the boy if he tried.

Obviously he was wrong.

He shuffled around; looking for an indication of the last time to boy was there. If he was out getting stoned or drunk, he could have left a day ago and there wasn't a second thought that the man would get home soon.

He searched the garbage can -maybe the lack of dishes was due to take out and paper-plates. Sanosuke also had a habit of eating right out of the box or can. But nothing was there either…

Once a month, Saitou paid a house cleaner to come in and do the chores around the house when Saitou was out on business, but the last time that she would have come in would have been the day he left on the trip, on Tuesday. It was now Sunday.

He shrugged his shoulders. It didn't matter anyway. Sanosuke would come back like he always did, regardless of what shit he was pulling out on the streets right now. Nothing to worry about at all.

---------------

Sanosuke scowled as he rolled over, the medicine wearing off in the middle of the night, causing him to wake up due to the pain. He looked around to see if he could catch the red glow of a clock.

4:20.

Well, six hours had gone by since he took his last dosage. That would make sense… He looked at the table and frowned as he noticed that no medicine was set out for him. But of course, it wouldn't have been likely that he would have woken up like this. He rolled around again, just to see if he could get up by himself.

He yelped in pain as soon as he pressed down his ankle to the floor.

A door opened quickly at the other end of the hall, and a groggy man came out, dressed in only a pair of boxers. "Sano, you all right?"

Sanosuke immediately forgot about the pain as he stared at the sight in front of him. Chou was standing there, staring back at him with concern in his eyes. But all Sanosuke could think about was the fact that Chou was wearing nothing but this boxers. He'd forgotten how nice of a body Chou had.

"Sano? Sano? You okay?" Chou asked again, more than a little worried by the dazed look in Sanosuke's eyes. The younger man blinked once or twice and then seemed to come back to himself.

"Huh? Oh, yeah. I'm fine. Sorry to wake you up."

Chou took a step or two closer. "You sure? I thought I heard you yelp. And what the hell are you doing up so goddamn early anyways? It's not even four-thirty yet."

Sanosuke blushed a little in the predawn light. "Yeah, sorry about that. The medication wore off and I was gonna get up and get some." He looked down at his ankle ruefully. "I kinda forgot about my damned ankle, though."

Chou couldn't help but laugh. "You damn rooster-head. You coulda just yelled at me, ya know. You didn't need to try and get the damn pills yourself."

"First of all, I am not a rooster-head!" Sanosuke shot back, looking surprisingly like a bird whose had its feathers ruffled the wrong way. "And second, I feel like a goddamn moron if I can't even get my own medicine, broom."

"Ah, ah, ah," Chou chided with a shake of his head. "That doesn't work anymore since I cut my hair, rooster."

Chou disappeared out of sight for a moment, but Sanosuke's eyes followed his ass until it was out of sight. Well, shit, Sanosuke thought, there must be some kinda aphrodisiac in this medicine.

But even he couldn't deny that he was attracted to Chou. There were a few times, a few hot nights that he would never forget, that made him wonder back to why he decided to move with that job that Saitou had gotten. The world was fucked up, and so had he been also at the time.

Sanosuke fell back onto the couch with a large heave. Now he was going to be lusting after Chou and there wouldn't be a thing that he could do about it.

"Here we go, man, some more of the best shit in the world." Chou said, sitting down next to Sanosuke with a glass of water, a few crackers, and the pills. "Can't take this on an empty stomach either, man, just take these, I'm sure that this'll work."

The boy watched the older man for a moment before taking the crackers into his hands. He couldn't keep his eyes off of Chou's body, and couldn't keep his thoughts clean. He unwrapped the cracker bag and began to chew on it.

"Chou, I wanna bone you so bad right now."

Sanosuke immediately slapped his hands over his mouth, jamming the cracker down his throat in the process. He proceeded to cough violently.

Chou raised an eyebrow in response.

He just stared at Sanosuke for a long moment, keeping his smile hidden as Sanosuke's face flushed pink. After a long moment he shook his head and stood back up.

"I think those drugs are messing with your head, rooster. Now come on, I think you need to get your ass back to bed and get some sleep before you say something else you'll regret later."

Sanosuke had to bite his tongue to keep from saying that he didn't regret what he had said.

"Yeah, maybe I should. When this medicine kicks in, I don't think I'll be able to walk any where."

Chou frowned and kneeled down next to the injured man. "Really? I'll sleep over there in the chair so if you need anything you can just holler at me."

Sanosuke shook his head. "But that's gonna be uncomfortable, Chou. You go back to sleep, I'll be fine."

"Hell no. I'm staying out here. If you bang your head again, you ain't gonna be in any shape to get up and get me. I'm sleeping out here and that's final."

Sanosuke chewed a little more on his bottom lip as he looked at Chou. When the blonde has his mind set on something, there wasn't a thing that could change his mind. Sanosuke knew that much, so there wasn't a damn point in arguing.

"Hey, thanks for doing this for me, Chou. You're the best."

"Yeah, I know." He chuckled, moving around in the chair to get comfortable. "Now, you have to be strong enough to yell at me to wake me up, this that a deal?"

Sanosuke didn't reply, he just nodded with a small smile in his face. He didn't waste another minute, the sooner he could get to sleep, the sooner he could stop saying ridiculous things to Chou that would fuck up his relationship with the man any further. Hopefully he would be better tomorrow.

---------------------------

The night was restless, with constant wet dreams and what-ifs that filled Sanosuke's head as the medicine warped his mind and amplified the concerns in his brain. Chou was there, right next to him, but nothing could force him to awaken the other man in the random spells he had during the night. But as his last spell of heat, desire, and muffled pain hit him, it was morning and Chou wasn't there next to him. He woke up with a start and sat up on the bed rapidly, his body aching, but he wanted to see the other man.

"Hey, hey, relax, buddy! You had a tough night, you should still be relaxing!" Chou shouted from the kitchen, cooking something on a griddle.

"How do you know that I couldn't sleep very well?" Sanosuke asked, grabbing the crutches and hobbling his way to the living room. He raised an eyebrow as he fell onto the couch.

"C'mon, even the neighbors could hear the mix of groans between pain and orgasm, you douche. Pretty erotic, if I do say so myself." Chou shouted over to the other man with a hearty chuckle, "Has anyone ever told you that you'd be good in porns?"

Sanosuke felt his face heat up and he used the pillow to cover it up.

"You mean you heard me last night?"

Chou laughed again. "I think we already established that, buddy. So what had you so horny?"

"You don't want to know," returned Sanosuke, pillow still over his face. He was already mortified and he didn't want to make it worse by telling Chou that he was the person he'd been dreaming about.

"C'mon, buddy. We need to talk about somethin' while I make breakfast."

"Not about that!" Yelled Sanosuke as he finally removed the pillow from his face. "You don't want to know, trust me."

Chou rolled his eyes as he walked towards Sanosuke, glass of water and pain medication in hand. "Why? Think yer sick little fantasies about Saitou are gonna make me sick?"

Sanosuke suddenly wished he hadn't removed the pillow from his face. "It's not that."

"Then what is it? Hey, stop looking at the wall and take the meds."

The brunette took the pills and quickly downed them. "I wasn't dreaming about Saitou," he mumbled.

Chou raised an eyebrow. "Then who were you dreaming about?"

The flush returned to Sanosuke's face full force. "You," he blurted out, wishing he were someplace else.

"Oh. That is different."

"Goddamnit, Chou, I didn't want to tell you!"

He chuckled and walked over to me, "Well, now that the cat's out of the bag, there isn't a thing we can do about that. I admit, I am pretty hot. And besides, don't worry about it, it's probably the medicine that's doing it to you anyway. I won't take offense to it at all, it's just the drugs. I know how that goes." He ruffled his hand through Sanosuke's hair.

"That's not it." Sanosuke whispered to himself somberly.

"Huh?"

"Nothing."

"Damn, another thing those drugs are doing to you is making you bitchy, what the hell is that about? Come on, man! Just chill out and have fun with the high you're gonna get as soon as you pop these babies in!" He tossed Sanosuke over the other pills he was supposed to be taking.

"Chou!" Sanosuke asserted strongly, reaching out to grab the man's hand.

"Woah, what's up?"

"Chou, I've told you before how much I missed you. And I didn't just miss you in the platonic way, man."

"Is this the little sequel to the shit you were talking about last night?"

"It's not shit, Chou! I mean it! I was dreaming about you, and I admit it, and there isn't a goddamn thing that I can do about it!" Sanosuke knew he probably wasn't making much sense, but he had to keep going. "It's not just the drugs, Chou! I fucking want you."

Chou sat down in the chair across from Sanosuke. "Sano, this ain't the time to be talking about this. Yer hurt and ya just walked out on a relationship you've been in for three years. Yer gonna be looking for someone to comfort you. I'll be your friend now, but I won't be anything else."

"But Chou, that's not fair! I left Saitou 'cause I wanted to come to you. "

"Really?" Asked the blonde. "Then why didn't you leave him sooner?"

"Because he wasn't such a jackass then! He's gotten so much worse than he was when you knew him. I don't know why, but I think I had something to do with it."

"Sano, don't beat yourself up over this shit. He's a jerk and nobody can change that." Chou laughed a little as he remembered something. "Hell, even his wife didn't stay with him for more than a year, you lasted longer than anyone thought you would. "

Sanosuke smiled faintly and looked over at the blonde. "Thanks, Chou. I don't know why I'm saying all this crap, especially to you." He sighed and took a drink of the water that was still sitting on the table near him. "Hey, just so you know, I meant what I was saying about you earlier."

"And I meant it too. You're just lookin' for someone to fill that void Saitou left you with. It's nothing about me. It really isn't." Chou tried to sooth the boy, but it wasn't working.

"Goddamnit, Chou! You're not fucking listening to me!"

"Yeah, I am, I hear you loud and clear!"

"Well, fuck you, Chou, Saitou created that void, he didn't leave me with it! You've always filled it for me! It's always been you, it can't he anyone else!" Sanosuke shouted, slamming his fists down on the couch. "I wish you'd listen! I need you to take me seriously!"

Chou just sat there and looked at the boy, not sure what to think or what to do. "Sano... I just don't want to do anything that you're going to regret later. How do you even know if I still love you?"

Silence took the room.

Sanosuke blinked with his mouth left agape. "Do you still love me...?"

The other man looked hesitant, and Sanosuke shook his head, not liking the silence. "So that's it. Well, now I feel like the biggest douche in the world. Sorry, I'm really fucking sorry, Chou, I'll call someone up to come and get me. I didn't mean to cost you so much trouble."

"Don't do that, Sano. It's not like that."

"Then can you please tell me what it is? I'm fucking tired of being left in the dark! Please just give it to me straight!"

Chou sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "Sano, this ain't an easy thing to talk about, especially not right now. Why don't we wait until your a little bit healthier and then we can sort this all out."

"I don't want too, Chou!" Exploded the brunette. "I want to fucking talk about this now! Not in a couple of days, not in a week! Now!"

Chou stared at the injured man on his couch and wished there was an easy way out of all this mess. He could tell Sanosuke was upset, very upset, but he wasn't sure if it was because of the medicine or if he really did still have feelings for him. But Chou was sure of one thing, he was going to have to finish this conversation whether he liked it or not.

"Sano, man."

Sanosuke didn't reply, he just stared at Chou in an angry silence.

The blonde continued on, trying to ignore the look. "You've gotta understand tha--"

The shrill ring of the phone interrupted them and they both looked to the phone.

Sanosuke grabbed Chou's arm as he started to get up. "Don't get it, please," he begged.

Chou shook his arm off with a small smile. "Can't do that, Sano. 'M a cop, remember?" He made his way over to the phone and picked it up.

"Hello?"

Sanosuke watched his face change to one of chagrin and the blonde looked over at him nervously.

"Uhh, yeah. About that..."

Another pause ensued.

"A friend of mine, I had to be there... no, it's not like that. I promise..."

Chou let out an exasperated sigh.

"I know... I- I'll make it up to you. OK? Sounds good. I'll call you later. Uh-huh... bye."

Chou looked back around to Sano who was still anxiously.

"So..." He started hesitantly. "Who was it? Didn't sound like police work to me..."

"That wasn't someone from the station." The man looked reluctantly around and then chuckled. "Actually, that's what I was just getting down to, Sanosuke. Timing couldn't be anymore perfect."

"What does that mean?"

"That was my girlfriend on the phone." He said with an almost isolated tone.

"Girlfriend?"

"Sanosuke... I couldn't wait around with you forever."

Sanosuke nodded, even though he really didn't understand what was going on. Girlfriend? Since when had Chou been interested in a girlfriend? The last Sanosuke had known, he'd never even looked twice at any women.

"How long have you guys been going out?" He asked quietly, looking down at his hands.

Chou sighed, not liking what he was doing to his friend, but he answered the question anyways. "About six months."

"Oh," said Sanosuke quietly. The two sat for a long moment, neither one really knowing what to say.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Sanosuke spoke up again.

"You know, Chou, if it's too much of a problem, I can leave. I can get myself a hotel room somewhere, it's no big deal. I mean, I've got money, I haven't really had to pay for a lot the entire time I was with Saitou. It really isn't a problem, I swear. I don't wanna make you uncomfortable or get you in trouble with your girlfriend." Sanosuke realized that he was babbling, but he couldn't stop himself. He didn't know what to say and when he didn't know what to say he babbled. It was a habit he'd always had and he could never stop himself until some one interrupted him.

Luckily for him, Chou knew this little tidbit of information and he reached a hand out to rest it on Sanosuke's shoulder, effectively breaking his stream of nonsense.

"Sano, relax. You can stay here, it's no big deal. Saori won't mind, I promise. She's a real sweetheart; she won't care if you stay here. Yer hurt and you don't really have anywhere else to go."

Deep down, Sanosuke knew that no girl would really be okay with her boyfriend's ex staying with him and so he decided to say something.

"Does she even know we went out?"

He knew the answer when he saw how red Chou's face turned.

"Chou... does she know?" Sanosuke repeated as he cocked his head.

"Naw... not really. Um, as far as she knows, she thinks that I'm as straight as a board. That's not really something that ever came up, and I didn't really want to bother her with shit like that..." He admitted, shrugging his shoulders and sheepishly looking around the room.

Sanosuke was baffled, "She doesn't know about you like that?!"

"What do you want me to say?! When I get a girl I finally like, after getting over you, should I tell her, "Oh, by the way, the last person I was with was a guy that broke my heart?" And besides, I don't really think that it should be any of your business, Sano." Chou said, not worrying about sounding bitchy.

Sanosuke just blinked. "Sorry that you're so fucking ashamed of me, man."

"Sanosuke, you know that I don't mean that! Just, cut the shit, I told you what's going on, and I can't change around my life now that you wanted to come back!" Chou sighed and buried his head in his hands. "And besides, it's more complicated than that. She doesn't like gays."

Now Sano was really curious. "Then shouldn't you have thought of that before you started going out with her?"

Chou lifted his head up long enough to glare. "I didn't know that when we first started going out. It was a coupla months ago, she told me about how when she was little her dad ran off with some boy toy of his and I guess it really tore her mom apart. I was gonna tell her, but when she said that I decided that it'd probably be better if I didn't."

"Oh," was all Sanosuke could think of to say. Once more the two men fell into an awkward silence, until once more Sanosuke decided to break the ice.

"Hey, Chou. I've got a question."

"Shoot."

"Did you really mean what you said earlier, about me breaking your heart?"

He looked cautious, as if he didn't think the other man was going to bring that up. He shrugged his shoulders and looked around the room with even more of a pause. He wasn't collecting his thoughts; he was trying to delay his response. Just trying to wait it out on the off chance that the man would lose interest.

Knowing that wasn't going to happen, Chou spoke up.

"Sano - you know that I was crazy about you. And you know that you came to me with a lot of your problems when Saitou hurt ya. What could I do when you decided that it was over between us, and you chose that bastard who did nothing but kill you inside? It wasn't even that I didn't think that Saitou was better than me, it was the fact that you didn't love me like I loved you. That hurt, Sano... So, yeah, I guess, the long and short of if was that ya did. I'm not gonna sugar-coat anything else for you. I loved you, you didn't love me. It hurt, I got laid each night to ease the pain away, and then I met Saori. I don't know what else you want from me." He spilt it all, not once making eye contact with the other man.

"Yeah... I know. I'm fucking retarded, and I'm sorry that all this happened. I really shouldn't be here." Sanosuke felt a chill go down his spine. "Maybe I should have just stayed with Saitou... it serves me right to hurt since I fucking hurt you so much..."

"Don't say that!" The other man erupted, "Don't even fucking say that again!"

Sanosuke was taken aback.

"What makes you think that I'd want you to stay with Saitou?! Would I wish that upon anyone let alone you, who I loved? Just..." He trailed off and then looked a little sheepish. "I'm sorry... I just didn't think I'd have to deal with this again... I thought it would be out of my mind forever."

The injured boy looked to the ground, but then picked his attention back up to Chou. "I'm sorry... I didn't mean what I said either. And I'm really glad that this girl is here for you Chou. I'm gonna be really happy for you. And from now on, all you have to do is look at me as your friend, I won't worry about anything more, I promise."

The blonde took a moment and took in a deep breath before looking back and saying a small, "Thank you."

Sanosuke returned the gesture with a smile, but inside his heart was breaking.

End of part