While I Was Away
By: Naru-chan
Disclaimer: I don't own anything! Especially not DNAngel!
Naru-chan: Hi everyone! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Everyone else: HAI!
Dark: You will finally see MOI again!
Riku: Jerk…
Dark: WHAT? No, not RIKU:sobs: Say it isn't so!
Satoshi:sighs into a glass of wine: Shut up. You're giving me a headache.
Dark: YOU! GAH!
Naru-chan:holds Dark down: Not today guys…! Not during the holidays!
Daisuke: Satoshi…should you be drinking that?
Naru-chan: Sorry for the wait! I'm also working on Chapt 6 for Someone Just For Me! It's almost done! Happy holidays guys! Thanks a ton for reading!
Chapter Thirteen: Her Confusion
"…Daisuke…merci…(thank you)" Riku whispered softly into his chest.
"Iie (No)," Daisuke answered, just as gently. Quietly, he stroked her caramel hair that was iced with snow, as her body continued to tremble.
She looked up slowly, and felt her throat close up as she drowned in his endless, kind eyes. They were so close that she could almost taste his lips on hers. Her heart picked up its pace and the tension held in the air for a split second. He searched deep into her eyes as well. Then he smiled and, instead of leaning forward, leaned back while wiping the tears that clung to her numb face. He held out a hand.
"Let's go…I'm sure everyone is worried…"
"H…Hai (Yes)," she quickly answered. She reached out and placed her hand hesitantly in his, which instantly closed over hers. She barely contained herself from gasping.
His hand was so warm…
Why is it… she wondered as if in a trance, as Daisuke lightly began to lead her home, Why is it that my love is so complicated? It would be so much easier if I didn't love anyone at all…and if no one loved me…
Tears silently slid down her face, and her spare hand covered her face, almost as if she was ashamed of her mused state.
Or…it would be so much easier if I loved Dark…and if he truly loved me…instead of a shadow of Menou… He would love me and…and I would love him… Demo…(But…)
"Why…why are you being so kind to me?" she choked. "It's not like…like you care…"
"…That's…" his voice began, though he did not face her. His hand, however, tightened to the slightest degree, as if he was afraid she would disappear into thin air. "You've said that to me before… ha… Do you still remember? I chased after you and…you screamed that at me… At the time…I didn't know what to say… I mean, what you said was true… I didn't know you that well… I didn't know why I cared…but now I've realized…that I don't need a reason. I just care." He turned and smiled his bright smile.
"Baka…! (Idiot…!)" she whispered fiercely under her breath, her free hand shakily continuing to trying to wipe her tears away in vain.
That was why it made everything so much harder.
Dark frowned deeply into the sky, which was a twist between white and gray. He just didn't know what to do anymore. His heart was utter turmoil. He trudged reluctantly back home. The cheerful people around only succeeded to make him more dejected. Even when the women around him giggled and blushed, he didn't have the urge to smirk or wink. All he wanted was Riku…
At this thought, he felt his mouth form a half-smile. If he winked or smirked at Riku she would slap him or punch him, turning scarlet in an instant. He lifted a cold hand and touched his face, almost feeling that stinging pain. It was almost a comfort.
He had thought, long ago, that his heart had died. It had followed Menou to the grave… So could a dead heart break? Without realizing it, Riku had revived him. Somehow…he almost wished she hadn't. It was true that she brought light to his black world, but…sometimes he wondered if the pain was worth it. He promised to wait. He truly wanted to! But in all honesty, just how long could one person wait? He bit his lip to ignore the dull pain from his chest.
He frowned when he felt arms go around him. He glared down in distaste at the woman who held him. She wore too much make-up and it was applied badly at that. He could smell the alcohol that reeked from her.
"'ey ba'y," she slurred, making her voice husky.
"Hello to you too," he frowned as he attempted to untangle himself from her spider-like arms that surprisingly had quite a tight grip.
"Hozz 'bout youz and mez go toooo ah 'ottel?" she tried again, even trying to wrap her legs around him.
He sighed. Sometimes he was way too nice. He grabbed her and carried her in his arms. She looked surprised, but pleased. That pleasure was wiped off when she felt herself being dumped onto a bench.
"I'm sorry," he said simply, looking directly into her eyes. "I have already chosen who I want to be with."
With that, he quickly turned and walked away. Then it hit him. He had chosen. It was Riku he was in love with… She was his Sacred Maiden. What on earth had he been thinking? Giving up? That wasn't like him at all! Despite all the pain this love brought him, whenever he closed his eyes, images surfaced. Memories flooded into his mind. Riku…Riku….Riku…! He felt a surge of emotion overcome him and before he knew it, he was off. He felt it in his heart. She was calling for him. Somewhere… He could hear her husky voice whispering his name. He was drowning. Only she could save him.
"You look beautiful."
Riku felt her lips curve up almost wearily. Behind Riku, Risa stood, combing Riku's hair that dully glistened like flaxen thread. She stared ahead into the mirror – stared into her red eyes.
"I never thought I'd hear those words from you."
The brush and Risa's hands paused. Slowly, they continued their actions before. "Why…would you say that?"
"It's no secret that you've always been seen as more feminine….more pretty…more everything… All the boys wanted you."
No reply.
"I mean…I love you to death, but I…I couldn't help but envy you."
"You…" Risa began, but abruptly stopped. She swallowed hard, forcing her emotions back down inside her. It was like pressing all her weight against a box to make sure nothing came out. She saw her fingers trembling slightly and made herself calm down. "I've envied you for a long time too…"
"What?" Riku nearly jumped up.
"That is…you're so special. Even if most guys like me, it's only because of my looks or the way I act, not who I am. You don't need to worry about something like that happening because you're stronger than I am. I've always been the weaker one, haven't I? That's why…"
"Risa…?"
That's why Daisuke loves you.
"That's why you shouldn't think such things." Risa smiled. Her hands stopped. "Riku…how do you feel about Daisuke?"
"D-D-Daisuke?" she stuttered, hating herself for it. "What about him?"
"You know…do you…like him?"
"He's just a guy!"
"What do you think about this kimono?" Risa changed the subject. "Okaasan (mother) told me to give it to you."
Riku blushed a tinted pink as she gazed downward at the kimono. It was a rich, silk green. Over it was scarlet rouge roses. It was funny…. in French rouge was red and rose was pink…. She never thought she'd be a rose… her, the one that was seen as a weed next to Risa. She hadn't realized it, but… now that her hair was longer she actually… did look more feminine…
Risa gently rested her hands on Riku's shoulder.
"Make this a memorable day, Riku."
"What?" she replied taken aback.
"Today…if someone gives you a pure white ribbon and ties it for you, it's said that your love will last forever." Risa smiled brightly. "Mio told me."
"W-What does that have to do with me?"
"We're only here for a little bit longer Riku…soon we'll be back in Japan. Me, Satoshi, Takashi… Daisuke."
Riku's heart stopped. She'd forgotten…
"Remember." Risa patted her twin's hair one last time before leaving the room.
"Satoshi?" Mio called out to the boy with silk hair. Her golden eyes watched as he lazily turned to face her. He was lying on her bed and it was almost a funny sight. All around him was ruffles and he seemed out of place, just as when his eyes met hers she knew he wasn't really there. She crossed her room and sat on the edge of her bed. "Do you feel better?"
He sighed in response.
"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked after a beat.
He didn't. But the words spilled out of him. He never had anyone to talk to and suddenly now there was someone. Someone who could perhaps understand.
"Have you ever loved someone that didn't love you back?"
"Yes," she answered automatically. At the clearness of her voice he looked up.
"You have…?"
"I do." She smiled. "It hurts doesn't it?"
"Of course…"
"It feels like your heart's bleeding inside of you…like a wound that will never heal. I love someone who doesn't love me, yes, I do. Both are dear friends…or you could say were. I could not put one in front of the other, and yet – it seemed I must. But still I only wanted their happiness." She stopped for a moment to fiddle with a stray piece of lace. "Don't you want them happy, Satoshi?"
No response.
"Ha…I thought so. Don't be so hard on yourself. Life is about having no regrets. Sometimes… you won't be able to fix a mistake and you'll regret it forever. I don't want that to happen to you…" she whispered softly as she leaned toward him.
"Are you saying…you have a regret like that?" he breathed.
Her eyes looked downwards before meeting his.
"But…is all this worth it?" he muttered. "All this pain? All this hurt…?"
"Do you think you'll ever find someone else like her?"
"What?" he blinked in confusion.
"Will you never love anyone else? Is it only possible for you to see yourself with her when you're old and crippled? Do you want her to be the one besides you when you're sick or injured? Who do you want to kiss? Who do you want to be with when you're lonely – when you're happy?" her words flew faster and faster and he was surprised she wasn't out of breath.
"I…I don't kn-"
She grabbed his shirt and leaned forward, kissing him. Shocked, he couldn't move. His hands came up, as if to push her away or to pull her closer, but slid silently away. She slowly broke away. For a second neither of them moved. His shell-shocked eyes gazed at her. Both of them breathed softly… and yet so loudly as it filled the whole room. Her body shook slightly.
"Thank about it." With that she was out of the room, leaving Satoshi sitting on the bed. His hand slowly crept up and touched his lips. They that were once cold were now warm.
"Guys…is it just me or is something wrong?" Sabrina questioned with an arched eyebrow. Everyone was gathered outside of the apartment. Next to her was Krad, then Mio, Daisuke, Riku, Risa, Takeshi, Dark, and to her left Satoshi. Mio and Satoshi wouldn't look up from the ground; Daisuke was glancing at Riku, who stared pointedly away from Dark, who grimly watched her. Risa couldn't look at Daisuke or Satoshi. Everyone was quiet, except for Takeshi who was baffled.
"What's up everyone?" he loudly questioned.
"Ah, well… I guess we should go…?" Sabrina asked hesitantly. There was a shuffle of reluctant feet.
"Wait," Satoshi finally spoke up, remembering what he had earlier promised Daisuke. He had to help him be with Riku. "Why don't we…group up into partners so we won't get lost at the fair?"
"Oh, good idea!" Sabrina smiled relieved someone was speaking.
"Ri-" Dark began.
"Why don't we – the people that are visiting – pair up with someone who knows his or her way around so no one gets lost?" Satoshi cut him off, glaring slightly at him, who immediately after hearing this glared sharply at Satoshi.
"Mio…!" Takeshi quickly piped up.
"Eh heh…" she forced a smile.
"Actually, I'll pair up with her, Takeshi," Satoshi curtly said, much to everyone's – especially Risa's surprise. Mio felt herself flush slightly. She looked anywhere but into his eyes, but nodded.
"What?" Takeshi moaned. "Then…Sabrina!"
Krad's hand grabbed Takeshi's shirt and lifted him off the ground. Takeshi found himself staring at gold eyes that glinted dangerously and a malicious smile.
"Are you forgetting something?" Krad crackled. "I'LL be your partner as well!"
"H-Hai…" whimpered Takeshi.
Satoshi pushed Daisuke slightly, causing him to bump into Riku. Both of them blushed madly at the contact.
"Ah…Riku…would you like…to be my partner…?" he asked shyly. His face was as red as an apple, but he smiled gently, giving her his hand.
"Ah…hai…" she agreed, equally as shyly. She looked up at him unsurely, but at his smile, she felt her lips curve upward timidly as well. She placed her hand in his and felt his warmth through his fingertips. She closed her eyes for a moment and savored the feeling. The warmth… the texture… she had never held hands with Daisuke before…
"Wait a minute!" both Dark and Risa cried out at the same time. They stopped and turned to look at one another.
"I guess that leaves you two," Sabrina laughed.
"This…will be interesting…" Krad muttered, observing everyone. "C'mon everyone, let's go."
"We should split up," Satoshi spoke up as they reached the festival. He gave Daisuke a meaningful look. "That way we won't be all cramped."
"R-Riku, do you want to go and get something to eat first?" Daisuke asked.
"Sure, Daisuke," she smiled, but surreptitiously glanced to where Dark was. She didn't know why she bothered. Her feelings were still raw from that afternoon. But she wanted to know badly. Did Dark love her because of his first love, or was it…? But her other half tore her away from that situation. Risa was right. It wasn't long until Daisuke would have to go home. She didn't want him to go. Every time she looked at him, her head reeled. The feelings were still there. She knew that now.His touch sent sparks up her arm – through her heart. Her hand still tingled. But...it still hurt so much to think of the past.
"Let's get something to eat!" both Risa and Dark said urgently. Neither of them wanted Riku and Daisuke alone.
"Actually…why don't you two go on check out some shooting games?" Satoshi said in his quiet way.
Risa blinked, and looked away as if she had been caught red-handed doing something she shouldn't. Her face flushed with shame. After what she had already done with Daisuke she still wanted to follow him. She was about to say something to Satoshi when she watched him turn away to ask Mio where she wanted to go. Her heart beat loudly. Was it just her or were her heartbeats louder than the cheerful chatter around her? She suddenly wondered…why had Satoshi wanted to pair up with Mio instead of her?
"You want to go and watch the concert?" he asked.
"Ah…sure," Mio smiled slightly.
Risa stood staring, dazed. She felt as cold and hard as stone. She couldn't move.
"Hey… Hey! Riku's sister! Er – Risa, I believe… let's go get that food! They're already gone!" Dark cried in distress, taking her arm to try to bring her away.
"No!" she cried out. She wasn't sure whom she was crying to…Satoshi or Dark.
Dark stopped. He waited a beat before asking, "What's wrong…?"
"I…I don't know…I'm sorry – it's just…" she turned to him, tears beginning to swim in her eyes. "Can we…go to the concert instead? Please?"
He stared at her. Her dark brown hair framed her face cutely, flowing over her red kimono. Her slim shoulders shook with emotion. She was beautiful, the thought crossed his mind, like Riku. He sighed, hating that heat was beginning to creep up his neck. He desperately wanted to follow Riku, but…
"I can't refuse a girl. So don't cry. Any girl with the amazing Dark Mousy can't cry," he started to grin as he carefully ruffled her hair. "Let's go to that concert."
Naru-chan: What do you think?
Dark:sigh: I can't help being so cool…
Satoshi: She's mine, you know.
Dark: Hmph, didn't look like it when you picked Mio as a partner!
Satoshi:punches Dark:
Naru-chan: Oh my God!
Dark: You…little…PUNK!
Naru, Daisuke, Krad:ties Dark up:
Satoshi:sigh: Look what you made me do. Your own fault.
Naru-chan: Scary…
Daisuke: Anyway, please review to find out what…umm…happens with me and Riku…
Dark: NOOOO! NEVERRRRRR!