While I Was Away

By: Lady Lithe

Disclaimer: I do not own Riku, Dark, Daisuke, Risa, Satoshi, Mio, Krad…(gasps for breath) But I guess I do kinda own Sabrina… heh…

Naru-chan: PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!

Satoshi: (slowly lowers his knives)

Dark: What on earth do you think you're doing?! If you kill her, no one will be able to write!

Satoshi: …I was thinking of all the fans. Something you should do at least once.

Dark: (sputters) I do think of the fans! More than YOU do!

Satoshi: Oh really? (lifts of the knives again, with a gleam in his eyes)

Dark: (hides behind Naru-chan)

Daisuke: S-Satoshi…

Riku: I want a MAN, not a chicken!

Daisuke: (covers his head, blushing)

Riku: Wait! Daisuke! No! I meant –

Naru-chan: Erm, right… Anyway! Guys, I wanted to explain that I actually…finished this chapter a while ago…(don't kill me! Wait!) but this thing was that I didn't like it! Something was off and I had a major writer's block because I…well, honestly, I kind of didn't predict this whole Mio thing…so one thing led to another and…well…

Mio: I is super important!

Dark: (snort)

Naru-chan: But I finally did something! Yay?

Satoshi: By the way…why is it that there's so much Yaoi fics now?

Dark: Guys! I'm straight! I like Riku! (grabs her)

Daisuke: DARK!!!!

Satoshi: According to all these fics you're gay.

Dark: WHAT?

Satoshi: You're gay.

Dark: I'M NOT!

Satoshi: You're gay.

Dark: AHHHHHHHHH!

Naru-chan: Anyway, enjoy this chapter! (in the background, you can still hear them going at it) And thanks again to all those that reviewed! You're what are keeping me going! And Happy New Year!

Touching "Never"

Because you never yet have loved me, dear,

Think you never can nor ever will?

Surely while life remains hope lingers still,

Hope the last blossom of life's dying year.

Because the season and mine age grow sere,

Shall never Spring bring forth her daffodil,

Shall never sweeter Summer feast her full

Of roses with the nightingales they hear?

If you had loved me, I not loving you,

If you had urged me with the tender plea

Of whatever our unknown years to come might do

(Eternal years, if Time could count too few),

I would have owned the point you pressed on me,

Was possible, or probably, or true.

-Christina Rossetti

Chapter Fifteen: Her Lack Of Words

"Dark will never love me."

The words echoed over and over in Dark's mind, ringing endlessly in his ears.

"Dark will never love me. Dark will never love me. Dark will never love me. Dark will never love me!"

Mio…his old friend, Mio…it wasn't possible. She was the slitting image of his first love… they were twins, after all! And yet…it had never occurred to him to love Mio! She was not and would never be Menou! Menou was the sweet smile to Mio's sly smirk, Menou was the honey to Mio's bitterness, Menou was frail while Mio was strong… But Mio had always been there for him, even when he felt the worst!

Oh God, he realized as he skidded to a halt. He had always complained and talked to Mio about Menou and Riku! To him, she had never been anything more than a buddy, a pal. He winced at the thought, but he might even venture as far as to say…a boy. Not that she wasn't feminine! Not at all…! The bright colors she wore…the top that always showed her midriff…all her various skirts and dresses… so why was it that he never thought of her as a female?

"Dark will never love me."

He collapsed against a bench in order to catch his breath. After hearing that, he had run away. He had to! But his running away didn't change a single thing. He was just being idiotic. He hadn't wanted to hear anymore and he didn't want to know. He was a coward. He knew. A plain coward.

But what else could he have done? he wondered as he looked down as his trembling hands. He squeezed them closed and grit his teeth painfully.

Mio…love him…

He didn't want to hurt her. He didn't want to tell her the words she knew would come if she confessed. He didn't want to see the pained expression of her pale face or tears fall down her cheeks. She was strong…but not that strong. In fact, she wasn't strong at all. He just always believed she was because she never showed any signs to him! …Or was it that he hadn't bothered to notice…?

He pounded his fist against a nearby tree. He couldn't do shit. He couldn't do anything! The one he loved was Riku…

He slid down the tree, drained. But…if he had to choose between his best friend from his childhood that had never asked anything from him or the second love of his life…when it came down to it…which one would it be?

"Boku…kimi no gotou suki des. (I love you.)"

At that same moment, something rocketed into the sky and the firework exploded in the air, causing red to glow over the two of them.

"A…Ara…?" Riku uttered under her breathe. Where was her voice? Why couldn't she speak? Everything rushed to her head, spinning in endless circles. Daisuke…the one she had loved her whole life…loved her back? Loved? Her? Not Risa? This…seemed so weird…so wrong? Why? It had been infused into her brain for so long that he… he couldn't love her! Her… was it… possible? Why couldn't she just open her mouth and accept?

Daisuke's heart was beating so hard he was positively sure that she could hear it. He stared at her intently, ignoring the building fear from the depths of his heart. She… whether she rejected him or accepted him… he had told her. She finally knew.

But her shocked expression didn't change. She was going to reject him… she wasn't answering… she was going to reject him…! He braced himself. But…he didn't want to hear those words from her…! Yet the silence was killing him slowly as well.

"I…I…" She closed her eyes tightly and forced the words out. "I – "

"Hey what are you two doing standing over there?" a loud, obnoxious cry came from the crowd causing Daisuke and Riku to look up abruptly and see Takeshi, Krad, and Sabrina.

"T-Takeshi!" Daisuke cried out, not sure if he felt relief or the exact opposite.

"What are you idiots doing?" he frowned.

"Everything's fine, isn't is?" Sabrina smiled.

"Ah – yes…" Riku nodded slowly.

Daisuke felt his heart sink. Everything was fine? Had she not heard anything he said? Or…was she choosing to ignore it…?

"Mou (Geez), you losers," Takeshi moaned. He swung his arm to his right. "C'mon, we know a great spot to watch the fireworks."

"Mmm, you guys go ahead," Daisuke smiled brightly.

"Ehh? Where are you going?" he asked skeptically.

"I just remember I forgot something on the bench before when we were eating," Daisuke explained. His smile was straining and he needed them to leave.

"Baka de ne (You idiot)! Well, we'll go first. Just find us later." With that Takashi turned and marched off, the others slowly following him.

Riku watched Daisuke hesitantly. When he glanced at her, she quickly looked away before following the rest. He stared after her quietly as all around him the festival continued. Vivid colors and lights flashed around them, contrasting with the cold, white snow. Soon her slim figure disappeared into the crowds of people. She didn't look back.

The tears came before he realized it. Silently, they glided down his flushed face, one after the other. The taste of bitter salt filled his mouth. His knees gave out and he held the ground so that his whole body didn't collapse. His face was distorted with pain as his tears fell onto his hands that clenched into and out of fists. Before he knew it, he was gulping for air. The pain was so sharp that he could barely breath.

"Suki…(I love you…)" he sobbed, burying his head into his trembling arms, trying to shield himself from his throbbing heart. Was this what dying felt like…? "Suki…(I love you…)"

Risa felt Dark leave. She felt him leave. And yet she didn't. She couldn't feel anything anymore. Watching Mio and Satoshi…something had changed in her.

She had always believed that once she fell in love she would be strong. She would love him and chase him to the ends of the earth, regardless of whether he loved her in return. She had been so sure… So when did it happen? When did it change? Had it been because she assumed naively that she would not need to chase him? That he would always be there, just waiting. Waiting for her and her alone. He would open his arms, his eyes full of her and love. And what? Did she believe that would live happily ever after in the manner of fairy tales? She was a fool.

But…she had believed that she would be strong. She would love him no matter what. And to be honest, she had thought she had been strong. Following Daisuke here to the one he loved… only to discover she had not been strong at all.

Mio. Mio was strong. She was willing to give up her happiness for the one she loved. She was willing to give away herself. She was actually doing something for the one she loved! While here was Risa, only wallowing in self-pity, clinging onto Satoshi simply because she was afraid of losing the one person that loved her.

That was a lie. She did love Satoshi… didn't she? He wasn't just some guy! He was… he was…

He was the one she loved.

She stared blankly ahead, not seeing, and yet seeing too much. It was overwhelming. Overwhelming… Why was it that when she realized such an important thing, she only wanted to cry…? She really did feel like she was dying. She had finally found the one she loved.

But she didn't deserve him.

Why? Why had she not been able to answer? Riku stared out her window as the snowflakes fell from the sky. The snow slowly accumulated higher and higher… How long had she been staring? Everyone had long ago returned home. For some reason, everyone else also seemed weary as if the world was settled on his or her shoulder.

She closed her eyes as the clear image of Daisuke formed in her mind. His words rang in her ear.

"You would get mad at me and yell at me all the time, especially for my clumsiness. So I would think to myself…why am I such an idiot?"

His face had been so full of regret and sorrow.

"Why am I such an idiot?"

She almost wanted to ask herself that same question. For so long, she had wanted to hear those words from him. Always…always… So why? Why couldn't she just tell him her feelings?

"I thought…I thought I had caught you. I thought… Ha…" Catching…hadn't it been she that had been chasing him? But…hadn't Dark always been chasing after her? Wait – Dark? Dark didn't really count, did he? All that time he had been searching for his next Menou! Wasn't that it? She was so tired of being compared! For all she really knew…Daisuke didn't even love her! Could it be that since Risa started dating Satoshi…he looked at her because she and Risa shared the same face?

No! No! Riku fiercely shook her head. Daisuke wasn't like that! He wasn't… He would never be so cruel…

So why? Why couldn't she figure out what was going on in her head?

What would Dark say when he heard what happened? Would that pain flash in his eyes once again? Betrayal… As if he was a puppy being abused over and over yet blindly not knowing anything else. She didn't want to see that look in his eyes again… How long was it going to be before he gave up on her? She was so hopeless!

It was as if her feelings were in a cup and now it was too full and spilling. Flooding. Drowning.

She was awakened from her daze by a knocking at the door. She rose from her seat and walked toward the door. Her hand touched the doorknob before she hesitated.

"Who…is it?" she asked.

The person behind the door hesitated as well, his hand still in a knocking pose.

"Dai…suke?" she slowly called out. She was so scared. What if it was Daisuke? What would she do? What would she say? Oh God! "A-Ano…(Ummm), about earlier today… that is… I…"

The hand went limp and was softly placed against the door.

"You don't…need to talk about it," a soft, yet calm voice answered. "I mean, I didn't… I wasn't expecting anything in return really. You probably don't even think I know you…"

"That's not – " she began. Sometimes she liked to tell herself she was the only one that did know him…that noticed him.

"No, it's fine," he interrupted, a small smile in his voice. "I'm sorry I just burdened you so much with my feelings."

A silence fell over the two. Riku didn't know what to say. She was supposed to be overjoyed with his confession. She leaned against the door. She was…supposed to…

"Riku…do you think it's possible?" his broken voice washed over her. "Could you…ever love me?"

"Dai…suke…I – "

"Wait, don't answer," he hastily cried. He didn't want to hear those words. "That is…tomorrow…we're leaving. If you…if you think you ever could…I'll be waiting. If you don't come… I'll know. I'll know…"

Dark watched her from her door. He couldn't say anything. He couldn't do anything. He just watched her. And as if she felt his piercing gaze on her, she turned. A look of surprise. Then…a smile. How could he smile? he wondered. Shouldn't she hate him?

"Hey, Mio," he said with a half-hearted smile.

"Hey yourself," she grinned back. It was a good thing she had put that icepack over her eyes earlier. She hadn't meant to cry, but sometimes it overwhelmed her.

"Hey, Mio…"

"Yes?" she laughed. Her strawberry blond hair fell over her wide eyes. He never realized just how long her eyelashes were.

"That is…"

"What is it?"

"Mio…are you busy right now?"

"Not for you," she smiled playfully.

"Well…are you busy…tomorrow…?"

Naru-chan: So…what do you think…?

Krad: Awesome.

Risa: Breathtaking! I'm so great! Look at all that angst! (swoons happily)

Satoshi: …I don't appear much.

Dark: HA! HAHAHA!

Satoshi: At least I'm not gay.

Dark: (chokes)

Riku: Oh no, oh no, oh no…

Naru-chan: Please review! Only two chapters left! And they're BOTH the End. First, where she chooses one of them, and then where she chooses the other! - So….please review?

Dark: She promises that she'll honestly update.

Satoshi: By the way…would you guys want her to revise any of her chapters?

Naru-chan: (embarrassed) I think some of the first chapters could be tweaked…but what do you guys think?