June 2015

Hello readers! I'm very glad you're all still enjoying my little brain droppings. I've updated my profile with the latest on my fanfic writing, and some new links to my other nooks around the 'Net. Please check it out and thanks for reading!

FOP doesn't belong to me.

As Cosmo stammered and sweated his way through an explanation to his wife, Anti-Cosmo and Tabby appeared in a small, dark room, lit only by a few candles. The little girl blinked quickly and glanced around herself, her fear slowly rising at the very unfamiliar surroundings and dusty paper smell.

A figure moved in the shadows, just out of Tabby's sight, and she unconsciously clutched at Anti-Cosmo's jacket, moving closer to him. He may have been the very reason she was in this strange, scary place, but at least he was somewhat familiar.

"Oh, don't be frightened, dear," he said softly, prying her fingers from his coat tails. "That is just my lovely wife."

The shadowy being paused at the sound of his voice before quickly moving next to her husband.

"Well, hey there, sweetie!" the woman said in a slow southern drawl. "Where'd you go?" She leaned forward and placed a sloppy kiss on Anti-Cosmo's cheek—the best kiss she could deliver due to her large, crooked teeth. The dark fairy smiled, but wiped his face with the back of his hand, almost automatically.

"I've been visiting with my 'good fairy' counterpart," he said, giving his wife what appeared to be a shockingly genuine smile. "And look what I've brought back!" He pushed a frightened Tabby before him, and the female anti-fairy looked at the girl in confusion.

"That don't look like Cosmo," she said, an eyebrow raised. "You said you went to visit Cosmo, right?" Her husband sighed, casting his eyes skyward.

"Yes, darling, I did visit with Cosmo, the ignorant boob," he patiently explained as Tabby struggled to hide behind him. "But this is his GODCHILD, Tabitha."

"His godchild? But I thought she was a boy?"

"I believe you're thinking of Timothy," Anti-Cosmo replied, his patience reaching the snapping point. Oh how he loved his wife, but man alive, she could be almost as infuriating to talk to as Cosmo. "He was their godchild many years ago. They've had a few others since then, and now are caring for Tabitha. Well, until today, that is."

"Oh," his wife replied, still looking confused. "They're not godparents anymore?" The dark fairy with the monocle sighed heavily, a hand massaging his temples.

"Oh, Anti-Wanda," he muttered, making Tabby look up at him sharply. "My love, you can be so incredibly frustrating."

"W-Wanda?" the little girl whispered, tugging on Anti-Cosmo's pant leg. "She looks like Wanda. But she's . . . kinda scary." The dark fairy smiled down at her, almost gently, before slowly walking her closer to his wife.

"I know, dear," he said with a sigh. "She can be a little odd, and takes some getting used to, but she's actually quite a bit like your Daddy-Cosmo. This is my wife, and the opposite of your godmother, Anti-Wanda."

At the sound of her name, the female anti-fairy did a little curtsey, holding the ends of an imaginary skirt with her fingers. Then she straightened and smiled kindly at the little girl.

"Howdy, sweetie," Anti-Wanda said happily as she walked toward the little girl. "Nice to meet you, Samantha!"

"T-Tabby," the little brunette replied, inching closer to her godmother's exact opposite. "My name is Tabby. Hi."

With a happy squeal, Anti-Wanda rushed forward and scooped the startled girl into her arms, swinging her around in an excited hug. Tabby cried out at the sudden movement, and clung to the anti-fairy's arms to keep from being flung across the room in a wide arc.

"She's so dang cute!" the dark fairy cried, smiling widely. "Oh, sweetie, isn't she the cutest little thing you ever saw?!" Her husband smiled wearily at her as he massaged his temples. His headache was returning.

"Yes, yes, she's just as cute as a bug's ear," he said distractedly as he floated toward them. Anti-Wanda returned Tabby to the floor as Anti-Cosmo leaned forward and placed a quick peck on his wife's cheek. "You have fun dear, I'll just be in the other room reading. I need some tea." Tabby turned to her 'Uncle Acie' quickly, her eyes wide.

"I have to stay here?" she asked fearfully, her voice higher than usual. "With her?" The dark fairy patted her on the head, a small smile on his lips.

"Now, now, Tabitha," he said quietly, gently pushing her toward his wife again. "Is that any way to speak about your new godmother?" The little girl's eyes widened to approximately the size of dinner plates.

"New godmother?" she whispered, clamping onto Anti-Cosmo's jacket. "B-but what about Wanda? I wanna go home!" He smiled as he yanked his coat from her grip, turned and started floating toward the doorway to the adjoining room.

"Don't be silly," he said with a slight laugh. "You are home."

Tabby stared blankly, mouth hanging agape, long after her 'uncle' had disappeared from sight.

-X-X-X-

"COSMO, YOU BUMBLING IDIOT!"

A very large, very loud explosion momentarily separated the Fairy Internal Affairs office building from its foundation as Jorgen's anger materialized. As the building re-settled, black smoke poured from every window, quickly dissipating in the clear air of Fairy World.

Visibility was nil inside Jorgen's office until the large muscular fairy waved his large heavy wand, clearing the air immediately. He and Wanda glared at the small floating piece of ash that was once a green haired fairy named Cosmo.

"Wow!" the charred fairy exclaimed happily, a large white smile appearing. "I got off easier than I thought!"

Jorgen sighed, casting his eyes skyward. Cosmo was always such a thorn in his side. Sometimes the pain Jorgen inflicted on the little fairy wasn't worth the trouble he caused.

"Let me see if I truly understand this," the large fairy said in his thick Austrian accent. "Anti-Cosmo, the evil anti fairy genius who has eluded capture for all this time, has suddenly appeared and kidnapped your godchild." Wanda nodded, suddenly looking worried.

"Yes, she was taken about 15 minutes ago!" the pink haired fairy cried, hands clasped in front of her chest. "What do you think he'll do to her?"

"Well, since Anti-Wanda disappeared from captivity some time ago, I think the more correct question would be 'What do you think THEY'LL do to her'," Jorgen said as he sat down at his desk. Wanda stared at her superior, mouth hanging slack.

"WHAT?" she cried as Jorgen looked back calmly. "How could you let Anti-Wanda escape?" Jorgen shrugged.

"Not my shift," he replied. "Besides, considering that your anti version isn't any smarter than your husband, I think it's more likely that Anti-Cosmo was behind her escape." Wanda slapped a hand over her eyes.

"Great," she muttered. "So now BOTH our anti versions are loose and are doing who knows what with Tabby."

"So, now what?" Cosmo asked as he poofed himself back to normal and floated next to his wife. "How do we find them?"

"You two will have to look everywhere an anti fairy would hide," Jorgen said gruffly, jabbing a very muscular finger towards them. Wanda raised an eyebrow.

"Wait a minute, just us?" she asked, hands on hips. "An anti fairy has kidnapped a godchild, and you aren't going to help us find her?!" Jorgen shrugged.

"Your godchild, your problem."

Cosmo glanced to his left just in time to see Wanda's face pull into a pronounced frown and her eye twitch. He had been married to her long enough to know what THAT look meant, so he wisely began backing away.

Jorgen noticed Cosmo's sudden retreat and paled. He may have been the toughest fairy in the universe, and everyone trembled before his might and strength, but even he had to admit that Wanda was a force to be reckoned with when pushed too far.

"Listen up, jarhead!" Wanda growled just as her hair caught fire. "YOU are the one who's supposed to be in charge of keeping those anti fairies locked up! YOU are the one who should have caught Anti-Cosmo a L-O-N-G time ago! YOU are OUR superior, so YOU are the one who's gonna have his butt in a sling if the Fairy Council finds out about this! So you better get your wand and scramble the fairies—NOW!"

"The Fairy Council?" Jorgen exclaimed, sweating heavily. "Heh, now Wanda, we don't need to involve the big brass in this, do we?"

"That depends on what your next move is," she replied as her hair returned to normal. "What's it gonna be, muscle boy?" She folded her arms across her chest and regarded him with narrowed eyes. The well-muscled head fairy behind the desk narrowed his eyes right back at her.

"You wouldn't dare," he growled. Wanda smiled slyly.

"Try me," she hissed back.

The two glared at each other for a full minute, while Cosmo looked back and forth between them worriedly. They were trying to stare each other down, and each was too stubborn to even consider backing off. He wondered who he should root for, because if Wanda won, Jorgen wouldn't exactly be too happy, and would most likely take it out on him. But if Jorgen won, then Wanda would be extremely unhappy at the lack of support from the head fairy, AND probably remember that she was ticked at Cosmo for letting Anti-Cosmo take Tabby in the first place.

Either scenario spelt bad news for Cosmo, but he figured he could live with an angry Jorgen more than an angry Wanda. After all, he wasn't married to Jorgen.

He was just about to say something—what, he wasn't exactly sure until it came out of his mouth—when Jorgen suddenly yelled and began rubbing his eyes.

"Aahhh! No more, no more puny fairy!" he cried, rubbing his watery eyes furiously. "I can take no more of your burning gaze! You win!"

"So you'll help us find our goddaughter?" Wanda asked in a 'ha-ha-I-won' tone of voice. Jorgen sighed as he dropped his hands to the desk.

"Yes, yes, I'll help you," he said, sounding beaten. "Just, please, do not stare at me again!"

"Great!" Wanda cried, rubbing her hands together. "What's our first move? Scramble the fairies? Consult with the Anti-Fairy experts to see where they think Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda would hide?" Jorgen shook his head.

"We head down to the records vault," he said, grabbing his wand as he walked toward the door. Wanda and Cosmo exchanged a glance.

"Records vault?" the pink haired fairy repeated, slowly following her superior. "Uh, don't we have a matter that's a little more important here?" Cosmo shrugged.

"I don't know, Wanda," he said with a smile. "I guess it depends on what record he's going for. OH! I hope it's swing!" Cosmo started wiggling his hips to music only he could hear and grabbed his wife's hand to dance with her. Wanda issued an annoyed grunt and swung him around, knocking him into the nearest wall.

"Cosmo! Later!" she hissed before catching up to Jorgen, who had moved further down the hall. "Jorgen, what's so important in the records vault?"

"The proper paperwork for this situation," he replied, stepping into an elevator with a large 'RV' inscribed on the door. "In order to assure a smooth operation, we must do this by the book." Wanda's jaw dropped.

"There's actually a procedure for when an anti-fairy kidnaps a godchild?" Jorgen shrugged.

"There's a procedure for EVERYTHING."

Wanda stared at the muscular head fairy, completely stunned at his infuriatingly nonchalant attitude regarding such a serious situation. Cosmo had caught up to them and looked at the elevator curiously.

"Why don't we just poof down there?" he asked as Jorgen held the door open for them. The big man frowned.

"What, and allow any fairy to just poof in there anytime they felt like it to mess with my very careful filing system?" he asked angrily. "Fairies can't poof in there, it's been secured with an enchantment. We have to use the door, and the only way to get there is with this elevator. NOW GET IN HERE!"

Wanda and Cosmo jumped slightly and quickly flew into the little elevator. It was a tight fit, as presumably the only person who needed to use it was Jorgen, who took up a good three quarters of the space. Cosmo squished himself into the corner as far as the room would allow, and Wanda floated next to him, looking quite distracted as she worried about Tabby's safety.

Once all this was over, 'Hide and Seek' was one game she would never want to play again.

-X-X-X-

"Is there anythin' I can get for you, sweetie?" Anti-Wanda asked as Tabby sat and cried softly. "Do you want some candy er somethin'?" The little girl shook her head.

"I wanna go home!" she whimpered as more tears flowed down her cheeks. "I want my Mama-Wanda! I wish I was home!" Anti-Wanda, being unused to consoling a crying child, gently patted Tabby on the head.

"Aw, honey," she soothed, brushing an errant strand of hair out of the child's face. "Don't you want to stay here, with me and Anti-Cosmo? Even for a little while?" Tabby shook her head, more forcefully this time.

"NO!" she cried, making Anti-Wanda jerk backwards. "I want to go home! I don't want to be here! I don't like you!" The female anti-fairy gasped and clutched her chest as though she'd been shot.

"TABITHA!" Anti-Cosmo cried from the doorway as he re-entered the room. He crossed it quickly, taking his wife into his arms. Anti-Wanda looked stunned and hurt. "That's not a very nice thing to say!" Tabby frowned.

"I don't care!" she yelled, getting to her feet and fully prepared to throw a grade A tantrum. "I don't want to be here! Take me home! I don't like you, Uncle Ace! I don't like her! I want MY Wanda! I want MY Cosmo! I WANT TO GO HOME!"

"Settle down, young lady!" Anti-Cosmo said sternly, still cradling his shaken wife. "You will get nothing until you have calmed down and apologized to my wife for upsetting her!"

"NO!" Tabby cried, her fists clenched. "I WANT TO GO HOME NOW!" Each word was punctuated with a stamp of her foot. "NOW!"

"Let's just take her back, Anti-Cosmo," the dark female fairy said quietly. Her husband looked at her, surprised.

"But dear," he started gently, "she'll settle down soon. We just need to give her some time to—"

"TABBY!"

Three heads turned to the doorway—two anti-fairies and one human—at the sound of Wanda's voice. Jorgen, Wanda and Cosmo were standing inside the records vault door, each wearing an expression of shock.

"Wanda! Cosmo!" the little girl cried happily, a large smile spreading across her face.

"I need to check on that enchantment spell," Jorgen muttered as Wanda slowly floated forward, her hand outstretched.

"It's okay, Tabby," she was saying as she inched closer to her goddaughter. "We're here now. You're safe." Cosmo was glaring at his duplicate, his wand clenched tightly in his fist.

"You're not my brother," he said in a low voice as he raised his wand and pointed it at Anti-Cosmo. "Now give me back my goddaughter."

For what was possibly the first time in his life, Anti-Cosmo was out of ideas. He glanced quickly between his wife and Tabby, before looking back at their brightly colored doubles. He never expected to be found—at all, let alone so quickly—and being caught in such a vulnerable position had thrown him for an even bigger loop. He truly had no idea what to do.

"Honey . . ."

Anti-Cosmo looked down at the wife in his arms. Her bright pink eyes were wide, full of fear, hope, and longing. She flicked them sideways, then back to him in a silent message. Her husband followed her direction, and noticed something clutched tightly in her hand.

Her wand.

Understanding hit him like a static charge, and he looked up just in time to see that Wanda had closed the distance quickly and was now mere feet from her goddaughter. Tabby, as luck would have it, hadn't moved an inch, and was still closer to the anti-fairies than her godparents. If Anti-Cosmo was going to take back control of the situation, he'd have to move fast.

"NO!" he cried, quickly flying to the little girl. He still held his wife with his left arm, so Anti-Cosmo curled his right around Tabby's waist.

"Let her go!" Wanda cried as Cosmo quickly flew next to her, looking just as worried as she. "Don't hurt her!"

"You can't have her!" Anti-Cosmo cried as his wife raised her dark wand. "We need her!" Tabby squirmed in Anti-Cosmo's grip.

"Let go!" she whined, struggling to reach for her godparents. "LET GO! Wanda! Cosmo! HEEELLLLLLPP!"

"NO!" Cosmo and Wanda cried in unison as their dark duplicates disappeared with their goddaughter. All that was left was the echo of Tabby's cry and the slight acrid smell of dark smoke.

"No . . ." Cosmo whispered as he floated to the spot they had disappeared from. Wanda remained where she was for a moment before turning on Jorgen, who was currently digging through a large cardboard box. Every so often he would pull out a handful of papers and rifle through them before tossing them behind him and starting the process all over again.

Jorgen's 'careful filing system' left much to be desired.

"FAT LOT OF GOOD YOU WERE!" she bellowed as the head fairy continued to toss papers over his shoulder. "Why didn't you zap them or something?"

"This box was open," the big man said distractedly. Wanda stared at him, stunned.

"SO?"

"There's a file missing," he said in that same calm, how's-the-weather tone of voice. Wanda wasn't sure to be more confused, stunned, or angry.

"I really hate to repeat myself, but SO?"

"I must consult with the Fairy Council," Jorgen said, his face set like stone. Wanda growled.

"Oh NOW you'll go to the Fairy Council," she said, throwing her hands into the air. "You wouldn't do it for a missing godchild but you will for a missing file! Unbelievable!"

"This whole case has become a whole lot more serious," the head fairy said as he walked toward the door. Wanda and Cosmo exchanged a glance before following him.

"I don't get it," Cosmo said as they filed into the elevator. "What's more serious than a missing godchild?"

"The future and safety of Fairy World," his supervisor answered, his voice emotionless. The elevator doors closed as Cosmo and Wanda exchanged another, more worried glance.