And oh, I just thought I would remind everyone I DO NOT own Degrassi or the characters in anyway and I never will.
Again, longer than I had expected. There were a few things I only wanted to gloss over, but I decided against it. So, I not going to gave anything away about this chapter. You're just going to have to read and find out.
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Chapter 7
I didn't know why but for the rest of the week I looked forward to having lunch with Ellie. It had been forever since I'd hung with friends. Everyone seem to have moved away or I wasn't on talking grounds with them anymore. Things really do change after high school. Everyone grows up and moves on. Well...not everyone. I at least grew up. More and more I had slowly been feeling better about my life. Just happier I guess. Even when I had been dating Paige, I still felt like my life was nothing. Though Paige made me happy in the moment; she didn't do much to brighten my future. I hated thinking about my future. I always figured I would just be like my mom. A nothing. Though I still didn't know what was going to happen. I could still turn in to my mother. Maybe I could become some better? If anything, I at least felt that despite the harsh realities the world held, I would now have a safe haven to return to.
Friday night at the Michalchuk's were usually uneventful. Sometimes they would just sit around the house and watch television or play a board game or sometimes they would go out dinner or to a show. Tonight we all sat around the table and played monopoly.
"Alright, that's one...two...three...four...five..." Mr. Michalchuk examined the board, "Alright, who owns the Railroad crossing?"
"That would be me." I stated.
Mr. Michalchuk gave me a stern look, "Well ma'am, I am going to need to see some proof."
"Right here." I held my deed up in front of him and he inspected it. He read the front and then examined the back. He then bit down on the card.
"Yep. It's the real deal." He said. He handed the card back to me.
"Eww.." I joked, "I don't want it now."
"Well, if you're insisting I keep it." He started to take back the card.
"No, I'm insisting you pay your debt." I joked back raising my voice to try to sound serious.
Mr. Michalchuk looked insulted for a second before shaking his head, "Well, you're a tough one. Have ever considered a job in the Mafia?"
I tried to stay serious but I couldn't help but smile. Mr. Michalchuk began to count his money, "Okay...now how much do I owe you. $100?"
I nodded.
"Alright, let's see...that's 5...10..20...45..." He was moving unbelievably slow.
I glanced over at Mrs. Michalchuk, who's patience seemed have vanished.
"Oh for heaven's sake, Bill! Give her the money!" She yelled, obviously unamused by his joking.
At her words Mr. Michalchuk sped up his counting and handed me the money, which I graciously took.
"Thank you." I said in a tone that was an octave higher than my normal speaking voice.
Mrs. Michalchuk gave out a sigh of annoyance as she shook her head. I looked at her and then Mr. Michalchuk. It was only a few second later we were all laughing again. There really were an interesting couple.
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That night I lied in bed thinking about lunch tomorrow. Maybe I started to think to much. Have I really reduced my life to looking forward to meals with people? I guess so. My feeling were always so mixed. Sometimes I felt happy and other times I felt so alone. My mind started to drift to Paige again. It usually did. My stomach started to fill with butterflies at the thought of her. The feeling soon turned to emptiness. I missed her...so much. I wondered what she was doing right now. Maybe she was studying. Freaking about some stupid exam. I imagined her going into one of her babbling tantrums. She was always so cute when she babbled. It was a habit I knew annoyed people like Hazel and even Marco at times. I wondered if she was in bed right now trying to sleep, like me. I wondered if images of me filled her head. Maybe images of someone else? My stomach knotted at the thought. I hurt to think about it but I couldn't get that idea out of my head. Why did I let her go? I was such an idiot. I wanted to tell her that. I wanted to tell her how I felt but I knew I couldn't. It was to late now. Even if I did what were the chances of her still feeling the same way? The odds of us ever getting back together were against me. She had truly been the love of my life. Was I hers? No, I probably didn't even compare with Spinner or Matt. Maybe? My heart started to ache. I didn't even try to hold back the tears as I cried myself to sleep.
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The morning crept through my room slowly as the sun began to rise. It gleamed through my window blinding me through my eyelids. I immediately pulled the covers over my head. It didn't do any good. I was already awake. I looked at the clock 7:23 a.m. On a Saturday... I angrily hopped out of bed. It was freezing. I grabbed one of Dylan's old robes and put it on and went downstairs.
I pretty much lounged around all morning. I watched television with Mr. Michalchuk. It was some cheesy made for tv movie. In between commercials we would toss an old hacky sack back and forth. Why? I don't know. Around 11:30 I left for the Dot. It was very cold outside now and I made a mental note to myself to buy a better coat. I arrived at the Dot at noon. I took a booth seat in the back. I hoped Ellie wouldn't be to late. I decided to glance at the menu to pass the time. Ellie showed up about five minutes later. I felt a sigh of relief when I saw her walk through the door. I don't know, maybe I was just paranoid, but I had been like that my whole life. I almost expected people to let me down. Ellie looked around for a moment before spotting me. She ran right over.
"Hey!" She said as she slid in the seat opposite of me.
"Hey." I replied.
"It's so chilly outside." Ellie was rubbing her arms trying to warm up.
"Tell me about it."
"So," Ellie started, "How is everything with uh...your living arrangements?" She sound like she wasn't sure if she should ask the question.
I gave a small laugh to show it didn't bother me. "It's fine." I said. "They really are a great family."
"Is it weird at all?" Ellie seemed more comfortable asking now.
"The first few weeks were surreal, but everything is relaxed now."
She nodded her head. She seemed to be working up the courage to ask her next question, "So, do you still talk to Paige?"
I scratched my head, "Uh...no...nope. Not really." I tried to sound like my answer didn't bother me.
There was an awkward moment of silence. I decided to change the direction of the conversation. I felt if Ellie kept pushing the subject of Paige I would start to break down and cry. I really wasn't in the mood to cry.
"So, how are you? Lemme in the on the goods." I said trying to brighten the moment.
"Things are good. I'm taking some time off school right now. So I've just been working and hanging around with Jimmy, my only friend left in the world."
"Hey that's not true. I'm your friend too." I smiled
Ellie returned it, "Right, my second only friend in the world." She rolled her eyes.
I laughed at her comment.
"So, what looks good?" Ellie held up the menu to read their choices.
"Everything."
The rest of the lunch went well. We talked and caught up on old times. I even apologized for being such a cruel bitch as we reminisced about our time at Degrassi. We parted with a hug and a promise to hang out more. I really hoped she had meant it. That afternoon I left the Dot feeling slightly better than I had been. Ellie had done a lot to brighten my mood and take my mind off Paige for a little while. As I started to walk home I started thinking off all the times Paige and I would come here after school to grab something to eat before work. Those were good times. But they would never happen again. At the thought I instantly regressed into my old state of being. I decided however to stroll around little. Instead of going straight I made a left into the alleyway behind the dot. Despite the fact it was dirty, it was always a peaceful place for me. Not a lot of people wandered back here and I had spent many hours here just thinking. Thinking about everything...except my future. I shook my head and tried to push Paige from my mind. I tried to think about today and lunch with Ellie. It helped a little. I glanced a little farther down into the alleyway, no one was there. I pondered for a moment, if I should go down it. I decided not. I think I had walked far enough down memory lane today. I turned around to start to walk back. And of course.
"Lexi!"
Standing right smack in the middle of my way was Jay. He had a natural talent of showing up at exactly the wrong moment.
"Hey, how have you been?" He was smiling broadly, which of course meant he could be up to no good.
I gave a sigh to signal my utter annoyance, "And just when I thought you had fallen off the face of the planet."
"I thought we were over our hard feelings." Jay looked surprised at my insult.
The day I had broken up with Paige was the day Jay and I had almost become friends again. We had kind of come to an understanding. Despite the fact I'd admit to not hating him, he was still one of the last people I wanted to be around.
"We are, Jay." I said sounding quite frustrated. I really wasn't in the mood to chit chat with anyone. "Did you need something?"
"Naw, I just saw you and thought as a friend I would come over and say hi." Jay edged in closer to me and dropped his tone to almost a whisper, "You're still a lesbian?"
With those last words I had just about had it, "Yes, Jay! I am still a lesbian. That hasn't changed. It's not going to change. Biologically speaking, it can't change!"
Jay backed away, "Right then." He reverted back to his playful self. "So you got any plans for tonight?"
"Jay, did you not just hear me?"
"Lexi, not like that. Come on. I thought were going to be friends."
I was really losing my temper now.
"Look," He started, "There is this going to be party tonight at the Ravine. It's supposed to be hot."
"Jay..." I started but was cut off.
"Just saying, if you're looking for a good time. You look like you could use one." He gave a shrug.
I closed my eyes and shook my head, "Go away Jay."
He started to back off, "Okay, but if you change your mind."
"I won't."
He gave me one of his nasty little grins before turning around and disappearing behind a cornor. Jay always did have a boyish charm about him and I'd even admitted that's what I had liked about him when we were dating. As sweet as he could be, he could equally be the same as an asshole. I decided after that meeting to go straight home. I was only 2 o'clock and I hadn't a clue what I was going to do for the rest of the day. I figured I would just watch some television or find something new to take a picture of. I had started to compile a scrapbook of all the pictures I had taken to keep everything organized. I sometimes felt my scrapbook was the only thing keeping me sane.
I finally reached my house and pulled out my key. Mrs. Michalchuk had given me my own key to the house a month ago. The more I lived with them, the less I felt like a house guest and the more I felt like part of the family. It was a nice feeling to finally belong. Though, I would always find the situation ironic. To be trying so hard so get away from Paige and becoming so close to her loved ones at the same time. I unlocked the door and went inside. The house was quiet. I went into the kitchen to see if anyone was there. All I found was a note.
"Went out to run some errands and pick up something for dinner. Will be back later. love, Mrs. Michalchuk."
I read the note a few times out of habit to make sure I had read correctly. I assumed she had brought Mr. Michalchuk with her. I guess I have the house to myself. I felt like I needed the peace for awhile anyway. I went into the family room, laid across the couch and turned on the television. As I watched some show travel show about France, my eyes slowly started to became heavy until I closed my eyes and didn't open them again.
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Ring..Ring...Ring..
I stretched out a little trying to pull myself back to consciousness. I rubbed my eyes.
Ring...Ring...Ring..
I sat up and looked at the phone. I reached over to get it. Cursing to myself.
"Hello?" I said. I was still only half awake.
There was silence on the other end.
"Hello?" I said again. This time more forcefully.
"Hello?" I heard the voice on the other end reply back. I Instantly recognized it.
"Paige?" I questioned, though I already knew.
"Hey." She replied back. My heart sank.
"Hi." I said back. I didn't know what else to say. My stomach was beginning to ache and my heart was pounded so hard I could hear it.
There was a moment of silence again on the phone. Even though I couldn't see her, I knew she was searching for words to say.
"Um..." She began, "Is my mother there?"
"Uh, no. She went out. Um, she said she would be back later." My throat was dry and my voice was scratchy as I spoke. Silence again. "So yea." I filled the gap.
I could hear her breathing now. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't think of anything to say. My heart was racing and I felt as if I were going to be sick. Of all the things I had wanted to say to Paige, not a single one entered my mind as I was on the phone with her. Did she have anything she wanted to say to me?
"Oh," She finally began. "Uh, alright then. Well...bye." Her voice sound distant and cold.
I didn't know what else to say except, "Bye."
Click. I knew she was gone. I kept the phone up to my ear for a second. Was I really just speaking to her? I finally hung up the phone. I looked at the clock. It was 4:34.
She didn't even sound like was glad to be to talking to me. She didn't seem liked she cared. It felt like all those questions I had been pondering had been answered. She was over me. It didn't even seem like she cared about me at all anymore. I refused to cry, though I was on the verge. My stomach ached worse than ever. I felt so empty and alone. My emptiness slowly turned to anger. Who was I angry at? Paige? Or myself? I didn't know. I just knew I needed to get out. I needed to get away to think. To figure things out. No...stop figuring. I couldn't think. I grabbed my coat and left the house, slamming the door on my way out.
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So, as promised I brought another Degrassi character into play. I also hope to have Ellie in the story some more as well as a few more characters. And also as promised Paige did have a small appearance. I'm sorry If you were wishing for something more major from her. But again don't worry. I'm just not ready to bring Paige in full force yet.
Okay, now depending on how chapter 8 and 9 go. I might have to revise this chapter. But I don't expect to. Everything seems to be working fine. I hope to have chapter 8 up within a day.