I don't really have must to note about this chapter. Just read. This chapter turned out to be a little more complicated than I had expected. Also, it's not exactly what I wanted, but if I don't post it I will spend the next year trying to get it perfect. I may go back and revise this chapter later if I feel it's necessary. But for now I'm pleased with it and chapter 9.

-------

Chapter 8

As I stormed off from the house, tears started to run down my check. I quickly wiped them away. I didn't know what I was doing or where I was going. I just knew I need to get out of that house. I needed to walk, to feel like I was going somewhere. Suddenly, I was filled with a burst of energy. I was practically jogging. I tried so hard to stop thinking of my conversation with Paige, it only intensified my pain. It was dark out now and the street lights were coming on. There was a light breeze that only added to the already chilly evening. It didn't bother me though. The cold matched my mood perfectly. I didn't know where I was walking. I thought about going to Ellie's. But for what? I realized I had never really discussed my feelings for Paige after we had broken up. I thought if I went there I would have too and Paige was the last person I wanted to think about right now. I felt like all the feelings and insecurities I had bottled up for so long were now ready to burst open. I just wanted to go somewhere were I didn't have to talk about her. Somewhere would I could drown my feelings away.

----

The air was crisp and the music was loud. People were drinking, smoking, and having a good time. The Ravine had always served as a place for hardcore partiers. It was the cities most popular hook-up spot, it was were the bad boys hung, and were the drug dealers did business. It was reckless and wild and were I found myself. I didn't know why I was here. I didn't even want to be here, but I didn't have anywhere else to go. Here I wouldn't have to think or talk about Paige. No one would care. I walked through the grass field through an ocean of people. They all looked happy and carefree. I wish I was them. My eyes were stinging from the cold air and my head started to hurt. I didn't it bother me though.

"I thought you said you weren't going to change your mind?" I heard.

"I didn't. I still don't want to be here." I replied

"But you are." Jay said back.

"I am." I said. We looked at each other for a moment. Then Jay handed me a bottle of whisky.

"A drink?" He asked.

I took the bottle and looked at it for a moment before unscrewing the cap and taking drink from it. The alcohol burned as it went down my throat. It didn't bother me. I took a moment for the burning to subside before taking another drink. I handed the bottle back to Jay and he took a drink.

"Now isn't this fun?" He asked.

"Jay." I replied.

"You wanna dance?"

"No."

"Lexi. Common. Stop being so angry and lighten up." He took a step closer to me placing his hand on my hip. I pushed him back grabbing the bottle of whisky at the same time and stormed off.

"Lexi! Lexi!" I head him yell. I ignored him.

I took one drink after another. Slowly I started to feel better. I started to feel happier. I wasn't feeling cold anymore. I was feeling content and amused. I watched a couple make-out for awhile. I could only stair and laugh. Everyone once in a while I would make inappropriate comments. They didn't notice. I didn't care. After I had finished the entire bottle of whisky I got up and complemented myself on my high alcohol tolerance. I felt a sudden burst of energy and decided I needed something to do. Or more alcohol. I needed one of them. I looked around and found a few people sitting around a bonfire drinking. I decided to go over to them and ask them for their drinks.

"Hey...hey...hey..." I said. My voice hadn't started to slur yet. I took a seat next go a guy who was enjoying what looked like a bottle of vodka.

He looked me up and down. He noticed my eyes on his drink and he handed it over to me. I graciously took it. I took a few big gulps.

"Whoa there." He said, "Slow down." He grabbed the bottle back.

"Hey, give that back."

"Not so fast there pretty lady." He grinned at me as he edged in closer to me. "You want the bottle?" He leaned in closer to me. His hand caressed my check and over my hair before sliding down my arm and grabbed my hand. I hadn't noticed though, my attention was on something else. He tugged at my arm.

"Lets go some place more quiet." He started to get up, "And I'll give you the bottle." He got up, pulling me up with him. He started to lead me away but suddenly I jerked away from him. He looked little surprised but my attention wasn't focused on him. My attention was focused on some long blonde haired girl sitting on a tree branch poking at the fire. Maybe I was just really drunk. I probably was. But she looked remarkable like Paige. I walked over to her. She looked up at me at the cast of my shadow. She didn't seem drunk.

"You know," I said as I sat down beside her. She just looked at me. "you made me very upset today." My voice was slurring now.

She was looking at as if I were insane. She didn't know what to say.

"You know...there were so many things I wanted to tell you. And I got the chance. I just blew it. I'm such an idiot."

"Um..." She began, she seemed totally clued out.

"Do don't even care do you?" I started shaking my head.

"You know." She said. She was being very careful of her words. "I should go."

"You always go don't you? Things get tough and you leave for Banting."

She slowly started to edge away from me.

I was beginning to cry now I could feel the tears leave my eyes. I tried to hold it back. "I just wanted to figure things out. You put so much pressure on me. I shouldn't have over reacted like that."

I was beginning to look scared now she stood up and started to leave, but I grabbed her.

"Don't leave! Not again! Please!" I cried.

"Get off me!" She yelled

"No Paige! Wait! Just wait!"

She was hitting me now trying to get me to let go.

"Let go of me! Help!"

I was pulling her back down. I could feel her nails dig into my hand as she tried to get me to let go. I didn't bother me though, because all I was feeling at the moment was pain. She finally pushed her foot against my hip and the force of her push caused me to instantly release her. I fell back against the ground crying. I felt empty and alone.

"I'm sorry." I cried. "I'm sorry. Paige. I'm sorry." I laid on the ground sobbing. The warmth from the fire was making me comfortable and sleepy. I started to drift when I was yanked back up to my feet.

"What are you doing!?" I heard. My eyes were out of focus and I tried desperately to straighten my vision. Jay had me by the arm.

"Where did you go?" He said. His voice was stern.

"Non of your business Jay." I replied. Even drunk, he carried the same appeal.

"Did you drink that whole bottle?" He asked

"And more!" I replied. The thought of booze lightened my mood. "We should get some more."

"No. We should get you out of here."

"Don't tell me what to do. You're not my girlfriend."

He pulled me by the arm, "Lexi, lemme take you home."

"No!" I yelled pulling away, "I came here to forget about Paige and that is e-x-a-c-t-l-y w-h-a-t I'm g-o-i-n-g t-o d-o." I was half singing, half talking now.

"You're drunk and you're going to get yourself hurt."

Did Jay actually sound concerned?

"Jay, leave me alone."

Jay grabbed me by the arm again. "We leave now." His voice was forceful but I didn't care. I broke free of his grip again.

"Y-o-u n-e-e-d t-o l-e-a-v-e." I knew I was so wasted but I didn't care. I turned away from him and took off.

"Lexi!" He tried to follow me but I lost him in the darkness.

I was all by myself again. I didn't know what to do. Should I go back to the fire? It was warm. Naw…mabye I'll look for some more alcohol. My head was hurting worse now, but I ignored it. I walked by some trees were some men were joking and drinking. As I walked by they started making obscene jesters. One of them walked over to me.

"Hey baby, wanna come home with me?" He said. Opening his arms to welcome me.

"Not in less your sister's hot." I replied.

He stopped in his tracks for a moment. I laughed and walked off. I realized I was beginning to walk away from the party, but I wanted to explore over here. I wanted to be in the darkness. I felt it complimented my mood.

"I don't need Jay or Paige." I said to myself, "Paige" I said again. My voice went tender. I was starting to feel sick now. I tried to take a moment to breath hoping the feeling would pass. It didn't. I couldn't see were I was going. I was walking fast now. I feel sick. I finally stopped at a tree, leaned over and lost my stomach. After I threw up my body felt better, my mind however, felt like is was going to explode. I looked behind me. I could still see the fire burning and hear the music. I didn't want to go back to that. I closed my eyes for a moment to take everything in and collect my thoughts. My head was hurting bad now and everything seemed to blend together. I wanted to go back to the place that had ever really felt like a home to me. I was ready to go back.

I didn't have time figure out what was going on. All I heard was yelling and flashing sirens.

"Run!" I heard someone yell. I could see people running in every direction as the Cop cars pulled into the area. I decided to do the same.

I started to run further into the woods trying to get away from the sirens. They were flashing search lights now. It made me dizzy. My vision was still blurred and I couldn't see where I was going. I felt like I was going to be sick again. The further I ran the darker it got. I started to feel like I was running downhill now. I hoped I would come across a road and I could follow that, but the further I ran I steeper the hill became. I could still hear yelling in the distance. I just needed to get away. I need to get home. Suddenly, I felt something hit my face. Then again and again. It took a moment to realized I had stumbled and was falling down the hill now. I was clashing with everything that was in my way: dirt, branches, rocks. I finally hit a flat surface and stopped. Despite the fact I could still here yelling and cars, I couldn't see any search lights. The only light was from the moon now. I thought it looked so beautiful. I started thinking of Paige again. I felt so content that I didn't noticed the little landslide I had created as I fell down. All the dirt, pebbles, and rocks crashed down onto me. I didn't care. I started to laugh at myself for being so stupid. How could I have screwed things up? How could I have fallen down this stupid hill? I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that I didn't even feel the rock collide with my head and send me again into darkness.

---------

Since the next chapter is an extension of chapter 8, I will leave my notes until the end of chapter 9.