Mutant bride
By Todd Fan
Disclaimer:
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I apologise for the lateness of this update, and the fact I haven't updated Yin and Yang for ages either. Uni work is still sucking away at life like a sponge, alas. Seems I only have time to do oneshots at best. Anyway, hold on in there, hopefully I can get some more done of Christmas.
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Act 8 - The Other Woman
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The Firey Goo™ soon deposits Rogue and Scott in the forest where he found her. Rogue gasps, looking around.
"A'h spent so long in darkness, a'hd almost forgotten how beautiful the moonlight is", she says.
"Umm..yeah, beautiful moonlight", says Scott, "I wouldn't know. Only seeing in shades of red and all"
"Oh, stop whingeing, whiney-whinerson", says Pyro.
The Random Butterfly that Scott released at the beginning of the parody (shall I wait for you to go read back? Done? Okay) flitters past them and towards the moonlight. Rogue sighs then begins to dance around the forest clearing.
"That's very…err… random", says Scott, blinking.
As Rogue does her random dance, her leg falls off, luckily, Scott has his head turned away, confused by all the sudden randomness.
"Psst, hey, I think you dropped something", says Todd, poking out of her ear.
Rogue very nonchalantly puts her leg back on, just as Scott look at her again. She paused, before randomly dancing again.
"Maybe if we watch long enough, she'll take her clothes off", says Pyro hopefully.
"I think you're confusing her with Wanda", says Scott.
"I wish she was Wanda", sighs Todd, "I could do with some naked Wanda right now….she isn't behind me, is she?"
Rogue continues her random dance before Scott, unable to take the randomness anymore gently grabs her arms.
"Hold on", he says, sitting her down on a tree stump, "I think I should prepare Mother and Father for the big news"
"Hey Mom and Dad, I married a corpse!", says Pyro, "Yeah, I can see why they'd need to be prepared for that"
"I'll go ahead and you..", says Scott, "wait..here"
"Perfect", says Rogue, then scowls, "Man, a'hm such an airhead!"
"I won't be long", lies Scott, backing away, "Stay right here. I'll be right back"
"Okay", smiles Rogue.
Scott leans in back, waggling a finger.
"No peeking"
Rogue giggles as Scott walks away a few paces then BOLTS. He makes it to the Worthington mansion, a bunch of ravens watching him evilly from the rooftops. He brushes himself off and goes to knock the door, pausing when he hears Warren's voice.
"If I ever see that Summers boy I'll strangle him with my bare hands!"
"Your hands are too fat, and his neck is too thin", says Amara, "You'll have to use a rope"
"Yes, yes, a rope….", Warren blinks, "MY HANDS ARE NOT FAT!"
Scott whimpers, edging away form the door and heading around to the other side of the house. In the woodland, Rogue sighs sadly as she waits for him to 'be right back'.
"This is the voice of your conscience", pipes up Todd, "Listen to what I say. I have a bad feeling about that boy. You know he is no…"
Rogue smacks one side of her head, Todd flying of the opposite ear and landing in the snow.
"Oww", he says, poking his head up, "That hurts when you have no hands to break your fall"
"Go chew someone else's ear for a while", says Rogue, "Scott has just gone to see his parents, just like he said"
"If I hadn't just been sitting in it, I would say you had lost your mind!", says Todd, then blinks, "That is so not a sentence I ever want to repeat"
"Ah'm sure he has a perfectly good reason for taking so long", says Rogue.
"Are you sure he does?", asks Todd, "Why don't you go ask him?"
"All right, a'h will!", says Rogue.
"After all", says Todd, pointing at the footprints Scott has left in the snow, "He couldn't get far with those cold feet"
Back at the mansion, Scott climbs up a pillar towards Jean's window, where she is sitting by the fire sewing a quilt.
"You man makes a break for it, you sew", says Pyro, "What a way of coping"
Jean turns and looks as Scot climbs onto the balcony and taps the window. She blinks, walking over to the window and opening it so he could fall inside.
"Jean", says Scott.
"Scott?", says Jean, "I'm so happy to see you!"
"How very Dawson's Creek", says Pyro.
"Come by the fire", says Jean, leading him to a chair, "Where have you been? Are you all right?"
"I..I", starts Scott, then sighs, "Oh dear"
"You're as cold as death", says Jean, worried, "What's happened to you? Your coat"
Scott looks at his torn coat and sighs.
"Jean, I confess, this morning I was terrified of marriage", he says, "But then, on meeting you, I felt I should be with you always, and that our wedding couldn't come soon enough"
"Oh!", says Jean happily, "Scott, I feel the same!"
"I don't wanna wait, for my life to be ooover", sings Pyro.
The couple are about to kiss when Scott sees Rogue clamber onto the balcony. He gives a manly gasp, then takes Jeans head in his hands to stop her from seeing.
"Jan, I se…se…", he stammers, "I seem to find myself married. And you should know it's unexpected"
Rogue opens the window, walking inside.
"My darling, a'h just wanted to meet…", Rogue pauses, seeing Jean.
Both women gasp at each other while Scott stands in the middle looking confused and guilty.
"Darling", says Rogue, grabbing Scott's arm, "Who's this?"
"Who is she?", asks Jean.
"A'hm his wife", says Rogue, showing off the ring on her finger.
"I bet you wish you were anywhere but here right now, dontcha Scotty-Boy", says Pyro with a giggle, "If you girls decide to have a catfight, I'll happily provide the jelly and bikinis"
"Scott?", asks Jean.
"Jean, wait. You don't understand!", says Scott, "She's dead, look?"
He waves Rogue's bony arm. Rogue doesn't take to this kindly, moving away and narrowing her eyes. It's clear she's going to say something dark, something twisted, something that will stick in the mind for years to come.
"Hopscotch", she growls.
Yeah. Anyway, the ravens swarm around them as Rogue grabs Scott, both heading out of the window.
"No, Jeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaan", says Scott as he's dragged away, soon reappearing in Magneto's house.
"You lied to me!", snaps Rogue, "Just to get back to that other woman!"
"Don't you understand?", asks Scott, "You're the Other Woman"
"I'll just keep standing here, quietly, then", says Magneto dryly, "Don't mind me. Please, carry on"
"No!", snaps Rogue, "You're married to me. She's the Other Woman!"
Rogue begins to cry, loudly.
"She's got a point", says Magneto.
"And a'h thought…a'h thought this was all going so well!", cries Rogue, literally crying an eye out.
Scott sighs, picking up her eye and rubbing it off on his jacket.
"Look, I'm sorry but…", he hands it back to her, "This just can't work"
"Why not?", asks Rogue, taking her eye back and popping it back in, "It's my eye, isn't it?"
"If anyone should be worried about an eye, it's Cyke", says Pyro with a giggle.
"No, your eye is..", Scott thinks up a word, "……lovely"
Scott sighs.
"Listen, under different circumstances, well, who knows?", he says, "But we're just too different. I mean, you're dead".
"You should have thought about that before you asked me to marry you", bites back Rogue.
"Why can't you understand?", asks Scott, "It was a mistake. I would never marry you"
"OH, well done", says Magneto with a dry clap.
Scott realises his boo-boo far too late. Rogue sighs sadly, walking off, leaving Scott looking very guilty indeed.
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And there is another act done! Lord knows when it will happen again, hopefully not too long a wait. Do review. Until next time…