Sorry for the wait in the update. I had to take some time to figure out where I was going to go with this chapter and how this would effect the rest of the story. Like I said I am getting close to the end now. And after taking about six months to write this story I don't want to rush through the ending but I also don't want to drag the ending out either. So I'm trying to find a nice middle. I also took some time reading through the chapter a bit to make sure it was how I wanted it. I also have to thank my two wonderful proof readers who did catch a lot of grammar errors for me. So thanks you two! And thanks to my special onk. Oh, and btw, I think the site's email is slow so if you have my stories on alert you might not being getting an alert right when I update. So if you are waiting for the next chapter check the site and make sure I haven't updated. But I think the emails are catching up now (At least mine are.)

Alright, well I don't want to give to much away. So here is the next chapter. )

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Chapter 38

I cried all the way back to my apartment. I felt like an idiot for even trying. What was I thinking? I had never felt so embarrassed. I felt like everything was crashing down around me. The events of the night and my feelings were just one big ball rolling around in my stomach. I felt sick. I slammed the door to my apartment and just fell down on my futon. I was so upset with myself and with Paige. For the first time in a year, cried myself to sleep.

The days following the incident were slow and uneventful. I moped around my apartment trying not to think of Paige. I didn't answer my phone or check my messages. I called off work sick and just curled up on my futon with cheese puffs and watched game shows and talk shows. I especially liked the talk shows. It made me feel better knowing there were people out there who's lives were more screwed up than my own. I had just gotten up to get a drink when my phone range for the hundredth time today. I had thought about turning off my ringer but decided that if someone wanted to contact me that much I should see who it was. When I picked up the phone, I had been expecting Ellie or Marco. But I was fearing Paige.

"Hello? Alex?" I heard the voice on the other end.

"Hi." I said not instantly recognizing the voice.

"Alex, hi! This is Eve from photography."

"Oh, hi." I said trying to sound friendly and cheerful, but I had to admit I was shocked she called.

"Hey, listen." She started. Since my life was only spiraling down a hole of blackness, I only expected bad news, "You are still doing my intern class next semester, right?"

"Ummm, yea." I replied quickly. My life had been so caught up I had actually forgotten about my intern class next semester.

"Great, well listen. I got this huge photo shoot project going on next month and I'm taking a lot of my interns down. I'm not sure how long it will last but it would be great work experience in the field and plus it's paid work. What do you say?" She finished.

I was completely stunned. But what did I have to lose?

"Umm, yea. That would be great!" I replied trying to sound as excited as possible.

"Wonderful," Eve replied, "We are still working out travel arrangements, but don't worry. We are all going to leave together."

"Great." I replied not knowing how to respond.

"Alright, well I'll give you more details when I get them. I hope you are having a great summer and I'll be in contact with you soon." Eve said, obviously not knowing just how bad my life was going right now.

"Alright," I replied.

"Okay, take care." Eve said

"I will." I lied and with that I hung up the phone.

I sat back down on the futon and thought about the conversation. I wasn't sure how to feel about it. Half of me was excited, half of me just wanted to stay here in this apartment forever. I felt alone.

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As the next few days went by, I was beginning to feel a little better. I went back to work and I was actually beginning to feel excited for the trip. I would be leaving in about three weeks. I had looked over all the pictures in my portfolio. I actually couldn't help but feel proud of myself. It did help to brighten my mood, despite the fact I still felt like my heart had shattered into a million pieces. I still tried to focus on the positive. I knew if I didn't I would spiral down back to the way my life was before. I was almost surprised at myself for handling everything the way I was.

I had just started cleaning up my kitchen after a peaceful lunch when I heard a knock on the door. It took a second for me to move. I wasn't expecting anyone. I made my way to the door. I figured it was probably Jay since he had been dropping by lately to hang out. I unlocked the door and opened it. Instantly my heart sank.

"Alex, hi."

I didn't reply.

"Please don't slam the door on me." Paige said, slowly trying ease her way into my apartment.

"Paige..." I managed to get out still not moving.

"I would have called..." Paige started, "but I was afraid you wouldn't talk to me."

The entire night came flashing back to me. I felt all the anger and embarrassment. I had to fight myself hard not to get upset again.

"Alex," Paige said sincerely, "About the incident."

Finally, I broke in, "Look, just forget about it." I said. It was a huge struggle to make that the only thing I said.

"No, Alex." Paige replied. I could tell she couldn't get out what she wanted to say. My heart only kept sinking and sinking. I wanted her to go away but at the same time I was happy she was here.

"No, Paige. I was stupid." I said. I was having a hard time looking her in the eye.

"It wasn't." Paige replied. Her response helped lighten my mood. Though I had no idea how to reply to it. I waited for Paige to continue, "It was sweet." Paige finally said.

My heart sank even further. Sweet? I thought. I told her I loved her and she thought it was sweet? I was already foreseeing where this was going and it wasn't looking good. I knew Paige didn't want to hurt me but I didn't want her to lie to me either.

"Paige," I finally started, "forget it. I take it all back. And I hope you and Stanley are...happy." Every word I was saying was killing me. Paige's facial expression changed. She suddenly looked like she was deep in thought.

"Is that all you have to say?" Paige finally spoke.

Every nerve in my body was exploding. I didn't know how much longer I could hold back my temper and Paige standing there looking at me like she was expecting an answer was not helping.

"Alex, I just wanted to come here and clear things up." Paige said. I could tell she didn't want to start an argument but every word she was saying was sending me closer and closer to the edge.

"Clear what up?" I questioned, "There is nothing to clear to up. Everything is already clear. You made that decision." I stated

"What?" Paige questioned forcefully.

I nodded. "You just forget about me and hook up with the next available guy?" I questioned. I didn't even want to say his name. Just the thought of him made me cringe.

"No, Alex." She stated. I could tell she was ready to explode on me, "You made that decision! You had your shot with me. Twice! And twice you blew it."

I hated to admit it but Paige was right. I had nothing to argue with. I could only stand there and listen while Paige continued.

"You can't just decide when you're ready for a serious relationship and expect me be here waiting. I asked you this before and both times you didn't want to discuss it." Paige yelled emphasizing certain words as she spoke.

I folded my arms across my chest and waited for Paige to be done.

Paige shook her head, "I don't know if I can deal with this again. Sometimes, Alex, you are just too much."

Every word she was saying was hurting me more and more. Though, it wasn't the fact that Paige had said them that hurt me so bad. It was the fact that I knew they were true. I held back all my tears. I could see Paige's temper was beyond boiling now. Paige turned around and headed for the door. Upon opening it she turned around to look at me.

"And for your information, Stanley and I are not going out, nor were we ever." Paige shook her head. I could see she was so frustrated with me. When she realized I had nothing to reply back. She turned back around and slammed the door.

I stood where I was for a few minutes trying to take in everything that had just happened. I only felt I was messing everything up more and more with every word I said. I finally walked over to the window and glanced outside. I saw Paige storming out of the building and to her van she had parked on the curb. I looked at the van that I had so many memories in. My life before Paige and my life with Michalchuks seemed so far away now. I watched Paige unlock the door and get inside. I thought about everything I had gone through with her and what she had meant to me. I couldn't help but smile at the some of the memories that were so deep inside my mind. I watched Paige drive off down the street, taking all the memories with her. I took a deep breath and faced the reality. Paige and I were not meant to be.

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Don't hate me! I know I am throwing some twists and turns with the story now. But that's what makes it interesting...lol. So I'm working on the ending now. I still think there will be a few more chapters. But I will probably either split the ending in maybe 2 large chapters or have a few smaller chapters. I'm not sure yet. I'll see how it goes. I'm really hoping to get the chapter up soon. I still got about another week of vacation left and I want to finish the story before it's over. So that's my goal. But like I said and I know I've seend countless times...lol..I wont rush it either. And thanks everyone again who keeps up with my stories!! You guys are great!