Thanks for the reviews guys! Hope you like where it's going. If you want it to go a certain way, I love suggestions to inspire my mind when I'm bored at school. Keep them up and enjoy! Note: One month later.
Addison's break from Seattle lasted three weeks. She returned home to New York to see family and friends and tell them about her and Derek's divorce. Telling and retelling the story was more difficult than she expected, leaving many nights filled with tears. She was only really truthful about her pain with Sav, and even then needed to be threatened to speak her heart. Like anything else, it had to be on Addison's own time. Her last night in New York, she was finally ready.
"Hang on!" Sav shouted from the kitchen upon the knocking.
"You were expecting someone?" Weiss questioned.
"No, you?"
"No." Sav made her way to the door to find her sobbing best friend in Derek's old Columbia sweatshirt. She had visibly been a mess all day. "Addi?"
"Hey." Addison responded weakly.
"Come here, what's wrong?" Sav closed the door and joined Addison on the porch steps of their brownstone.
"It wasn't supposed to be this hard." She got out between tears.
"I know, honey, I know."
"It's just…I knew I couldn't force him to be with me when his heart was somewhere else. As much as he tried to hide it, I could see it in his eyes. I didn't think anything could hurt more than that. Apparently I was wrong because right now I have never felt more alone in my whole life."
"Addison, you have to remember that what you two shared was special. And I don't mean just "good-looking marriage". I saw you two at your best. You had this connection that you could feel for miles."
"That's the worst part. We let that slip away and I don't know why. I'm almost the most scared to find out why."
"It's something you need to know to rebuild. And when you guys get back to that place, you'll know it, and more importantly, so will he."
"What do you mean?"
"Don't forget we met that Meredith girl in Seattle. She's the young opposite of you. Passive where you're aggressive, simple where you're complex in his eyes. The reason he chose her was to get away from the idea of you after Mark. But once you guys heal, that moron will come to his senses, I guarantee it."
"How can you be so sure?"
"Even he isn't stupid enough to lose you again." Addison looked up, blushing.
"Thank you, sweetie."
"And don't think that you should sit on your hands and wait for him, alright? You're hot. Get out there, have some fun. I'm not saying go crazy, but at least be social. You're not technically married…live a little."
"I'll try. I better get going, my flight is early."
"You are going to be okay?" Addison stopped, pondering the question.
"Yes, I think I am. Thank you, Sav. I love you, you know that right?"
"Of course I do. I love you too. Give the ass my best will you?"
"No problem."
"And this time, try and call once and a while."
"I will, I swear."
"Alright, have a safe flight." Addison returned to her hotel room about an hour later. She spent sometime out in the city, taking in all the sights and smells. She had missed it here. It was the opposite of Seattle, but that wasn't always such a horrible thing. The temptation to stay in New York though was strong. To face Derek with another woman wasn't going to be easy by any means. Neither was fixing their relationship. However, to be truly happy, Addison knew what she had to do. She needed to get Derek back, the only way she knew how…start over.
Seattle
Two Days Later
10:00 a.m.
"Derek."
"Good morning Preston. How are you?"
"Good, yourself?"
"Good. Just finished up a consult on my pregnant woman with arrhythmia. So good to have Addison back. Her replacement was unbearable."
"Oh, you saw her?" Derek perked up at the sound of her name, happy she was back in Seattle. He did his best to mask any excitement he had, and continued his conversation.
"You haven't?"
"No, I was in surgery."
"She'll be at the senior staff meeting. You can see her there."
"I guess. I better check on my patient before the meeting. I'll see you there."
"Alright." Derek walked off, leaving a confused Burke in his wake. He needed to see Addison, make sure she was okay. She left in such a whirlwind that he didn't know what to do. One minute they were married, and then next he was alone in the trailer, her stuff packed up. It was depressing to know it was really over. Unlike last time, he wasn't filled with rage and anger. This time, he was overcome with sadness. The trailer felt so empty without her. Even Doc missed her. When he came in alone every night, Doc would just slink to the corner, head down. Derek couldn't help but want to do the same at times. On the flip side, things with Meredith and him were great. They got the fresh start they needed, and when he was with her, everything else went blurry. Well, almost everything…..
"What's up with Shepherd?" Bailey asked, watching Derek quickly leave Burke's side.
"Don't know. I brought up Addison and he lost control of his motor functions."
"He hasn't seen her since the separation?"
"Apparently not. She only got in last night, and since they aren't a couple anymore…"
"Oh this is going to get real interesting."
"Yes it is. And I don't even involve myself in hospital gossip. This, however, is going to be worth it."
"Dr. Burke?" Bailey asked quizzically.
"It's Christina. She's got me all 'involved' in hospital business. The interns live on it."
"Yes, they do. Raging hormonal maniacs. Oh, we better go. The Chief was adamant about being on time today."
10:15 a.m.
"Alright, everyone here? I want to get started I have surgery in half an hour." Dr. Webber entered the room of bustling doctors, who all grabbed a seat when they heard his voice. The doctors began to scan the room, trying to do a mental check of who was and was not present. Only one person was absent.
"Everyone except…" Before Dr. Shields from Oncology could finish, a certain missing red-head ran through the door.
"Sorry I'm late chief. Got held up with a patient."
"First day back and you can't even be on time?" Burke shouted from across the room.
"Hey, watch it or I'll stick Murphy on your pregnant arrhythmia patient." Addison shot back, with a smile. She got ooo's and ahhh's from the crowd, who started quietly laughing, knowing how awful the Mercy West replacement had been the last three weeks. Before Burke could rebut, Webber stepped in.
"That's enough. For those of you who don't know, we are re-welcoming Dr. Montgomery to our team today. Hope she enjoyed her length vacation; she won't be getting another one for a while." More laughs from the crowd could be heard.
"Thanks Chief." Addison spun in her chair to face her fellow doctors. She scanned the room very non-chalantly, getting a 'ha-ha' look from Burke and Bailey.
"You're welcome. Let's get down to business." The meeting went on as usual, and ended promptly. "Alright people, let's get to work." Everyone slowly rose from their seats. Addison went to leave first, but was stopped by Richard. "Addison! Hold on." She returned to the room and approached the chief. "I have surgery now, but meet me in my office at one. I want to catch up."
"You're the boss."
"I'm serious."
"I know you are. I'll be there."
"Alright. Now, if you'll excuse me…" Richard headed towards the pack of doctors trying to squeeze through the tiny door frame. Addison hung back to speak with Burke and Bailey, letting the rest pass before they attempted to leave.
"Never threaten me with Murphy again."
"Can't take a joke, Preston?"
"I can. I like jokes. I'm a funny person." Both ladies giggled at his stone-cold delivery. "That just wasn't funny. Only I could get two OB-GYN patients in the weeks our hospital star is away."
"Why thank you Preston. You survived without me, just barely, but you did. And now I'm back, so problem solved."
"You still owe me those two weeks back."
"Whatever you say." Burke, Bailey, and Addison all headed towards the now clear doorway. "I'll page you when I get the lab results back." Burke simply nodded and walked away, leaving just Addison and Miranda.
"Weird to be back, huh?"
"Besides the obvious, not really. I mean I truly love my job, which is good considering the rest of my life is sort of rocky right now. But it's nice to be back. New York was great, but I'm excited to adjust to a new, new life here."
"That's good. You talk to him yet?"
"No. Haven't seen him. Was he at the meeting?"
"Hid in the back."
"Good hid or bad?"
"Good for you. I think he missed you. Not really sure what to do with himself the fool he is. Perked up when you came in though."
"No kidding? Well I'm sure our paths will cross eventually."
"Why aren't you more anxious?"
"New outlook on life, I guess. I realized that I had become so comfortable in the idea of being a pair that I lost some of the independent power I always had. It's time to reclaim that."
"Well, alright then." Addison's pager beeped, interrupting their conversation.
"My labs. I better go."
"Alright. Oh, and Addison."
"Yes?"
"I'm glad to see you back on your feet."
"Thank you Miranda." Addison shot her a slightly confused look.
"It's the mommy thing. Made me a little soft. Keep that hush though. Don't want it getting around."
"Mum's the word. I'll see you later." Addison walked away, leaving Miranda at the nurses' station.
"You can come out now." Bailey said, speaking to no one visible. Before long, Derek emerged from behind the desk.
"How did you know?"
"I know everything. What were you doing back there?"
"Chart notes."
"Bullshit. Care to try again?"
"Not particularly. How is she?"
"What did you think?"
"Excuse me?"
"Well, you were listening. What do you got?"
"I don't know. That's why I'm asking you."
"Try asking her."
"What do I say?"
"You were married for eleven years and you don't know how to ask how she is?"
"It's different now."
"'Hey' always works as a good jumping off point."
"Thanks, thanks very much." Derek shouted as Bailey walked away, grinning. Derek just leaned his head to the wall and breathed in deeply.
1:00 p.m.
"Hello Patricia."
"Addison!" Patricia rose from her desk to embrace Addison. "How are you?"
"I'm good, yourself?"
"No news is good news. I was sorry to hear about you and Derek."
"Thank you."
"No problem. Head on in, he's been waiting."
"Thanks. Nice seeing you."
"Same here." Addison moved to the door, lightly knocking.
"Come in. Oh, Addison, great."
"Hello Richard."
"Grab a seat."
"Alright."
"So?"
"How am I?"
"Smart girl. I taught you well."
"Yeah, that and every person I have spoken to all day asked me the same thing."
"Well, it's a big change. And we all care. Now don't avoid the question." Addison took a deep breath in, surveying the room with her eyes to buy a little time.
"It's different. It's hard. I know it was my choice to let him be with her and see where his heart was, but it doesn't change the fact that I miss him. Eleven years and you grow accustom to things."
"I know, Addi. But if there is anyone who can come through this strong, it's you."
"Thanks Richard. I'm trying. Still haven't seen him though since I got back. How's he been?" Addison couldn't help but be curious.
"As far as I can tell well. Sorry I don't know more. He's Derek: hot one minute, cold the next. You should know that better than anyone."
"Oh, I do." Addison smiled slightly. "I better go. Duty calls."
"Addison, you know that if you ever need to talk…."
"I know. Thanks." Addison excused herself and re-entered the hustle and bustle of the Seattle Grace hallways. She leaned against the nearest wall to collect her thoughts, when she was interrupted by a familiar voice.
"You're a hard person to track down."
Okay don't kill me! My AP psych book is calling me! Kindly review and enlighten me with your thoughts. Hope you enjoyed. I'm going to definitely write more tonight, and will probably post tomorrow. The next chapter will have the long awaited conversation, and jump ahead a bit to get back to some Addek loving!