Here's the newest chapter. More Andrew/Addison interacting because I like her with someone other than Derek for a little bit. Shows more of her ability to live without him. There will also be more Mer/Der because she's not a total moron and will notice something's up (like her bf pining for another lady). Reviewers are cool so be cool and review!
P.S. Thanks to Addy4ever for catching my mistake—I changed the name of the new attending about a quarter of the way through the chapter from Price to Pierce and didn't realize! Sorry about that everyone. Okay no more rambling…enjoy!
One Week Later
The past week had been good for Derek. He had taken a step back from his patients and attended a Neurosurgery conference in Washington for the weekend. Getting away from everything causing him distress and just having some time to himself had proven vital for his well-being. He returned to Seattle Sunday night refreshed, and ready to repair the holes in his life. He needed to begin with Meredith. She picked him up from the airport and they enjoyed a relatively silent ride home. When they reached the house, Meredith turned off the ignition, but neither person moved.
"Derek, we need to talk."
"I agree. Want to go for a walk?"
"Sure." Getting out of the car, Derek felt a sinking feeling in his stomach. He knew what he needed to do, but he hated himself for doing this to her again. They walked down the street, a light drizzle falling upon them.
"I know what you're going to say." Meredith finally broke the silence.
"Excuse me?" Derek stopped walking, puzzled as to how she could know.
"Derek, I'm not blind. A lot has changed these last few weeks. You have changed." Derek didn't know how to respond because he knew she was right.
"I know."
"I thought this would be easier. First time around everything seemed so perfect."
"Meredith, none of this is your fault. When I came to Seattle, I was broken. I caught Addison with Mark and just turned around and drove across the country. I was broken, and you fixed me. When I met you, I was pretending Addison didn't exist in my mind. You helped me forget her. And at that time, it's what I needed most. You literally saved me. And then I broke you in the process. And for that I will always be sorry. You need to know that wasn't my intention."
"I do. It doesn't make it better, but I do know that now. There's something I need to know though."
"Of course."
"Did you ever love me?"
"Meredith…"
"No. I need to know."
"On some level, yes. I don't think I could ever give all of myself to you, and that's not because of anything you did. The truth of the matter is that Addison will always have a part of me no one else can touch."
"God that's romantic." She giggled through her falling tears.
"I try." Derek extended his arms to embrace her as her tears started to flow more freely. "I never meant to hurt you Meredith. I need you to know that."
"I do." She pulled back and looked him in the eyes. Slowly bringing her lips to his, she kissed him. It was brief, but meaningful. It was her version of goodbye. "So what are you going to do now?"
"I have no idea."
Seattle Grace
10:00 a.m.
Derek strolled through the halls of Seattle Grace with ease. He felt a huge weight had been lifted off of his shoulders when he was able to be honest with Meredith. He could never love her unconditionally. He fell for her when he was broken. She was his band-aid. They were polar opposites, Addison and Meredith, which is probably why he chose her. But take out of the equation his anger towards Addison, and replace it with their friendship and Meredith and him didn't stand a chance. His heart belonged to Addison forever. Just as hers did to him. If she gave him the chance, he would make it his mission to prove that to her everyday. Heading to the attendings locker room to change for surgery, he almost got smacked in the face by the door. Jumping back quickly to let the other person exit, he was happily surprised at who it was. He couldn't hide his happiness, and was glad he didn't need to anymore.
"Hello."
"Derek!" Her face lit up as she practically dove in to his arms. "I missed you."
"I missed you too." Derek saw it as a good sign that she was glad to see him.
"How was your week off? You do as I suggested?"
"Yes. Lots of personal reflection. I felt very Buddhist, but it definitely helped."
"I'm glad. I really want to catch up but I have surgery literally now. How about lunch?"
"I'd love to."
"Good. Are you sure you were only gone a week?"
"Almost positive. Why?" He asked, smiling.
"No reason. Just missed you." Addison turned on her heels and headed for the O.R.
"I missed you too." Derek whispered to himself as he watched her leave. He checked his watch. He had about four hours to figure out how to tell her about Meredith, and more importantly, why it ended. Little did Derek know what had changed with Addison while he was away.
Cafeteria
1:00 p.m.
Addison sat reading the paper, sipping her water bottle as she waited for Derek. He left her a note about an emergency surgery, and said he'd meet her around 1:15. Enthralled in the style section, she jumped at a hand on her shoulder.
"Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you."
"Andrew! Hi. It's okay, don't worry about it. What's going on?"
"Nothing exciting. I saw you sitting alone and just wanted to say hi."
"Aren't you sweet?"
"And I brought you this." From behind his back, he pulled out a rose.
"Thank you. What's this for?"
"Nothing special. I had a great time at dinner and was thinking of you this morning. There's a great flower shop in my hotel, so…."
"I love it."
"Are you meeting someone or just relaxing?"
"I'm waiting for Derek. He just got back from his week off and we were going to catch up."
"Say no more." Andrew began to rise from his chair. Before he got far, Addison extended her arm to stop him.
"Wait. You busy tonight?"
"I think I could schedule you in. What did you have in mind?"
"Ever been to Joe's across the street?"
"Nope. What is it?"
"Oh, you'll see. Meet me there at eight."
"Alright. See you then." Bending down slightly, he kissed her gently on the cheek and walked out. Addison blushed, appreciating the gesture greatly. Seeing Derek walk in, she moved the rose off the table. For whatever reason, she didn't feel like centering their conversation on her love life. Things with Andrew were very new. They had gone on a few dates. He was an amazing man. That had shown through in the limited time they knew each other. And while Derek talked to her about Meredith, she didn't feel she was ready to do the same. She and Derek finally had something substantial, and throwing a new man into the mix seemed too dangerous.
"Hey. Sorry I'm late." Derek said breathless.
"Please, don't worry about it. I got to finish off the style section so I'm happy. Grab a chair, catch your breath. Why did you run here?"
"I didn't know how long we'd have off so I thought best to get hear speedily." He flashed his McDreamy smile at her, and she couldn't help but blush again. Something about that smile always got him. "There's actually something I need to tell you. I want you to hear it from me and not the hospital grapevine first."
"Okay, shoot."
"I ended it with Meredith last night." Addison face literally dropped. Those were not the words she expected to hear.
"Wow. Really? I thought things were going well."
"They weren't going badly, they just weren't moving forward. Whatever I thought I felt for her wasn't there this time around. I think it's because we are friends." Addison look puzzled, so he elaborated. "It's nothing you did. It's just I finally realized, after all this time, that she was a band-aid. You said it yourself: she was the anti-Addison at a time when I wasn't very fond of you." Addison leaned back in her chair. "And don't take that the wrong way. Those feelings are long gone. It was just after everything I needed a change. And I need someone who would love me unconditionally. And she did. She didn't know my past and my family and about New York, so she was perfect. But I realized I could never feel for her what I felt for you."
"I'm speechless."
"I thought you would be."
"So what are you going to do now?"
"I'm moving back to the trailer. I've missed it out there. My own little escape I guess."
"That's one thing about us I don't miss. That stupid trailer."
"Oh you know you loved it."
"Please. If I didn't care as much about you as I did, one look at that trailer would have kept me in New York." Derek smiled at the sentiment in her words. He never really noticed the tremendous effort she out forth to help save their marriage, and mentally kicked himself for being such a moron.
"I'm honored you'd sacrifice your wardrobe for me."
"I won't do it for many people so you should be honored."
"So, any big developments in Seattle while I was gone?" Now was her chance to tell him about Andrew. Granted there wasn't much to tell since there dates were countable on one hand, but he'd still want to know. On the other hand, she they weren't together. Her love life was her business, and if she was going to check with Derek on potential mates, she'd never date anyone. For now, this was her secret to keep.
"Not that I can think of."
Joe's
8:30 p.m.
Derek and Burke walked in to the overly crowded bar neighboring Seattle Grace. There was a big Seahawks game on, and seemingly every seat was taken. Both men had their attention caught by women. Christina was in the corner with her fellow interns, and Addison's hair in a booth across the room made his heart jump. Burke went his way, and Derek began to cross the bar. He put his stuff down and placed an order with Joe. Removing his coat, he peaked over his shoulder at her again. Her back was to her, but he knew that hair anywhere.
"Dr. Shepherd! Long time no see." Derek was snapped out of his trance by Andrew.
"Dr. Pierce. How are you?" Derek extended his hand. "And please call me Derek."
"Andrew. I'm fine. How are you?"
"Good. Better after my drink."
"I know right. Oh great. Thanks Joe." Andrew said.
"Sure thing." Joe replied.
"I better get these back. Good seeing you." Andrew said, picking up the drinks.
"Same here." Derek replied. He followed Andrew, curious as to who Andrew would be with. The answer was not one he wanted. Andrew sat down next to Addison, and not in a colleague manner. They were on the same side of the booth, bodies extremely close. She sipped her Manhattan as he took a swig of his beer. He went to tell her something, but over the noise, had to whisper it in her ear. His arm moved to rest behind her and allow him closer access to her. She laughed softly at whatever he had said, and it took a lot of will power for him to not stomp over to their booth and start screaming.
Derek had told her all about Meredith, and she couldn't mention that she was seeing the new attending? And how dare he get so close to her. They knew each other like a week, and suddenly he's all over her. Real classy. Derek spun in his chair and faced the bar, downing his scotch as quickly as possible. Any good mood he had found himself vaporized at the sight of his wife with another man. More than anger, Derek felt his heart break a little at seeing her move on. He was too late. All he knew now was that a lot of alcohol seemed like a great idea.
Seattle Grace
10:00 a.m.
All the alcohol that seemed like a great idea last night had now caught up to Derek. He was massively hung over and cursing himself for being so stupid. He had done a complete 180 since yesterday. Where then he was refreshed and happy he now found himself bitter and pissed off. Did he even have a reason to be? Addison and him weren't together. Hell he just ended a three month relationship with his mistress. But, in Derek's current state, he couldn't see the dimensions of the situation from her point of view, which would prove to be very costly. Derek finished his coffee and went to throw it out and grab some Tylenol from his locker. As he trashed his cup, he could hear Addison. More specifically, her laugh. She turned the corner, and Andrew was with her. They were chatting about something Derek couldn't make out from his slightly stalkerish spot by the garbage.
Addison paused to check out a chart at the nurses' station. Andy stood behind her, peering over her shoulder. His body was close to hers. She put the chart down and turned to face him. She leaned on the desk, and he was leaning into her. He looked as if he was about to kiss her, but was interrupted by his pager. Derek was thankful, Andy was clearly not.
"Do you need to get that?"
"I really wish I didn't." He looked down at her and smiled suggestively. She delicately touched his face, as a reassurance that she wouldn't hold it against him.
"I'll see you later?"
"Count on it." Andy began to walk away, but quickly turned back. "Screw it I have as least two minutes. And we are going to make them count." Andy grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the locker room which they recently exited. Those were the two longest minutes of Derek's life, as he waited for Andrew to leave before moving. Once the coast was clear, he went to confront Addison. He didn't know what he was going to say. All he knew now was that he was angry and betrayed. And he was going to let her know. He shoved the door open and walked through.
"God damn it." Addison spun around to see who was in such a hurry. "Derek, what the hell was that for?"
"I think you know."
"Excuse me?"
"Were you ever going to tell me or just see how long it took for me to guess it on my own."
"What?" Addison was still extremely lost.
"I saw you two at Joe's last night, and then just now." Derek looked hurt, and Addison could see it. She looked down, trying to find the right thing to say.
"I'm sorry Derek. I didn't mean for you to find out that way."
"Really? You didn't? Then why didn't you say something."
"You just got back yesterday. I didn't think it was appropriate to throw it at you like that."
"I told you about Meredith yesterday. I even asked if there was anything new with you."
"And I said nothing I felt like talking about. And that's the truth. You chose to tell me about Meredith. I chose not to talk to you about Andy."
"Why? Are you ashamed or something?" Addison's was getting more and more pissed off with every exchange. She was in no way ashamed of being with Andy; he was a great guy who wanted to be with her.
"I didn't realize I needed your approval to see someone."
"I never said you did." Derek could feel his anger rising, but refused to back down. "A little warning would have been nice though."
"Oh really? Warning? How about finding you and Meredith in the lobby when I arrived in Seattle. Great warning on that one."
"Don't even go there. Completely different situation. And if you're going to open that door, I didn't see a sign on my door telling me that my wife would be screwing my best friend when I got home that night in New York."
"Oh you had PLENTY of warning Derek." Addison was nearly shouting now. "I tried to get you to notice me, acknowledge you knew I was still breathing for months. Nothing worked. All you could see was your work." Derek was taken aback by Addison's statement. It was nothing he didn't know: they had pretty much beaten the whole "absence" deal to death on their road to recovery. As true as her words were, at this point Derek couldn't hear them. His rage overpowered his common sense.
"Have you slept with him?" Derek regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth. He especially regretted them after he saw her reaction. She was looking at him with such disgust in her eyes he wanted to hit himself. He was shocked she hadn't done it for him first. Slamming her locker closed, she walked past him without a word. Derek knew he needed to do something before she walked out. "Addi, wait I'm…" She paused at the door, taking a deep breath before speaking again. She wouldn't even look at him.
"If you even have to ask me that question, then you don't deserve an answer."
Two updates in one night because I made you guys wait longer than I promised. Hope they were enjoyable. Review on both and tell me if you like the direction its headed. Addek love will return down the road, but I'm very nervous for the finale so to flesh out an alternate story line if McDouchey does take Meredith back is making me feel better. In the end, he's meant to be with her! We all know it! Okay goodnight. Review! Bye!