THE RIGHT WAY AROUND.
Chapter 12 – Baby Friendly.
A/N: Sorry for taking so long to update but I am back and ready to give you all some good J/H entertainment. Jackie may be a bit early on to have pregnancy cravings and hormone changes but that just makes it funnier to write in my opinion
BTW, I'm referring to Hyde as Kitty's son because that's really what he is. Thanks.
Disclaimer: I own nothing and after the crap the show spilled out in Season 8, I'm relieved to have nothing to do with the show.
----------
FORMAN BASEMENT
"So, explain this to me again?" Hyde asked his girlfriend who was currently dashing around the room with a tape measure and enough colour schemes to customize her own rainbow.
"Like I said," Jackie started while beating against the wall beneath the stairs, "we need to start making this place more baby-friendly. I am on a clock and I cannot spend the next few months lying around on a couch watching game shows. Need I remind you of what happened the last time I did that?" Jackie asked him knowingly causing Hyde to get caught up in the memories of summer days gone by. She sensed his train of thought and snapped her fingers in front of his eyes, breaking him out of his trance. "You can drool over my body later, Steven." Jackie told him crossly. "But for now I need you to start building. I'm thinking… Aladdin or Cinderella or-"
"Or anything involving a princess?" Hyde interrupted with a fake smile. "Because we can go right ahead and smear my blood over the wall and see which is more horrifying for the kid." Hyde told her sharply. Jackie strode over to him with her arms crossed and looked him straight on. This seemed to have a bit more of an effect on him but he quickly regrouped and formed a similar stance. "Jackie…" Hyde said in a sweet voice. "Surely you want what is best for our child?" he asked smiling softly at her.
"Steven…" Jackie said in an equally sweet voice. "Surely you want what is best for your sex life?" she asked him innocently. Hyde's smile appeared to freeze at this comment as his eyes bulged slightly. Jackie smiled victoriously. "Just what I thought." she stated and began walking up the stairs for her quarter afternoon 2-course meal. "And all these years people have thought I was the weak one." Jackie echoed.
Hyde, who had dismissed it as empty threat, was now left alone in the basement and thought back to when Jackie had redecorated his room into an abyss of pink fluff and how it had eventually won him over. Unbeknownst to her and just about everyone else, he still had a lavender scented candle tucked away under a floorboard in case of emergencies like, the power was cut or he forgot to change his boxers four days in a row. Hyde shuddered. That was just nasty last time.
Walking into his room, Hyde stood at his bed in deep thought for a moment before shutting the door and pushing his tiny cot against it. Content that he wouldn't be intruded on, he knelt down beside his wardrobe and began to feel around the gap beneath it. "Aha." Hyde muttered quietly as he grasped what he was looking for. Pulling out a long rectangular box and checking the contents were in good condition, he thanked the person who inspired him to buy this after Kelso left and before things with the baby got so crazy that he didn't even have enough time to get dressed in the mornings. Hyde got up and walked over to his case where many thought he kept his sunglasses but was actually where he kept his secret stash. Not the good kind of stash, but the kind that would get his kid through college and out of the house by the age of 18. The kind of stash that he had been saving ever since the store had begun to make good money. Once upon a time he had small plans for this money i.e. booze, weed and lens cleaner, but of course life got in the way and now he had to be careful with how much he spent, what he spent it on and where it was all going. "When did life get so complicated and serious?" Hyde asked himself.
Probably right around the time you knocked your girlfriend up.
"Oh, don't you start again." Hyde warned his mind.
----------
FORMAN KITCHEN
Dinner at the Formans' was always the biggest event of the day for Kitty Forman as it was usually the time when the latest piece of drama would be discussed. And with her daughter home, engaged and pregnant and her son back from Africa and her other son also having a baby, Kitty was ensuring this meal had an extra bit of spice so that nothing would be held back.
"For God's sake Kitty." Red grumbled impatiently. "We're not in Geneva here so hurry up and serve the food. Eric's not getting any heavier." Eric frowned but was also too consumed by hunger to defend himself.
"Yeah, I think Eric lost the ability to gain weight when he lost his ass." Laurie interjected.
"Really? See, I thought it was when you lost your virginity but who knows when that happened." Eric bit back earning a glare from Laurie. "Hey mom, you always said Laurie was screaming a lot at night when she was a baby. You didn't by any chance notice another person in the room?" Eric queried while smirking at his sister.
"Enough!" Red yelled. "You two have been back for 5 seconds and already you are behaving like a couple of dumbasses. Just give it a rest and eat your food. If we ever see it, that is." Red finished quietly but not quietly enough.
"Do not rush me Red Forman." Kitty scolded him. "I am still recovering from Pastor Dave telling the congregation that I gave him food poisoning. Food poisoning! What does that freelance hippy know about cooking a sausage. I mean, really-"
"Kitty!" Red interrupted before his wife became even more hysterical. Kitty soon calmed down enough to finish pouring the drinks and the fivesome began to eat at their meals. Kitty, however stopped eating as she took in the sight before her of her kids and husband eating dinner in peace and she immediately felt her eyes begin to water. She wiped her eyes as swiftly as possible but this action still provoked concerned looks from the other four people around the table.
"Mom, are you OK?" Eric asked.
Kitty smiled at Laurie, Hyde, Eric and finally Red and replied, "I'm fine Eric. I'm really fine." Kitty said with conviction. Not wishing to tarnish this moment with snide comments or any comments at all, she quickly moved the topic of conversation to Laurie's impending nuptials and a question that had been burning into Kitty's mind for quite some time. "Sweetheart, as excited as I am to see you getting your life together…" she started slowly for fear of sounding too callous, "…I was just thinking that we should go over what you will be wearing for the ceremony in case you get a bit too carried away with tradition." Kitty finished smiling while Laurie considered her mothers' not-so-subtle comment.
"What she means is that we don't want heckling and giggling following you down the aisle if you decide to wear something white." Eric interrupted 'helpfully.'
"Why not? I mean she'll already be getting whistling from all the men in the church." Hyde stated to Eric and the pair shared a laugh. Laurie again glared in their direction.
"Don't worry Hyde. I mean your dad won't be whistling since sleeping with your mom has probably drained the sex drive right out of him." Laurie said smirking at him.
Hyde faked offence. "Laurie, that hurts me. Now I'm gonna have to go some place where your voice doesn't haunt me. I guess that rules out every motel room within a continental radius." Hyde stated, earning a kick from Red.
"Wow Hyde, I didn't know you had it in you. I guess my absence has helped you grow a pair." Laurie told him while downing the last of her wine.
"Oh, you've know idea what your absence has done for me Laurie." Hyde told her, preparing to give her the best burn of the year. "Why just a few weeks ago, Jackie and I were in your room and you'll never guess what happened." Laurie froze as she slowly began to look at him and her face contorted in horror.
"NO!!"
"Oh yes." Hyde said with the most satisfied look of his life.
"Now Steven, you cut that out!" Kitty told him before Laurie coated their dinner with some stomach lining. "Why are you so dirty?" she asked him as if just taking in his appearance.
"It's my nature." Hyde replied while shoveling his food down.
"Ok… what's going on with Jackie?" Kitty asked him with genuine interest.
"She's spending the day with Donna and then she's off on a rescue mission." Hyde revealed.
"To rescue who?" Kitty queried.
----------
FEZ'S APARTMENT
"Oh Kelso! And you came and you gave without taking! But I sent you away, oh Kelso!"
Fez's awful croons were not only distracting the neighbours but were also causing his furniture to be sprayed with every piece of food in his mouth as he sat swaying on the couch wrapped in a blanket. Depressing music and binge eating was the result of life without Kelso, and Fez finally understood why Eric had been such a mess for the two summers he was without Donna.
The coffee table was scattered with images of Kelso and notes that he had written. One that Fez had found particularly touching was held tightly in his hand and it read 'We're need milk.' "Oh Kelso, you always knew what I needed." Fez cried. "AH!" he screamed when there was a persistent pounding on the door. Trusting his gut instinct that it was his big boobed, long lost love who had finally tracked him down, Fez shrugged the blanket off his shoulders and flipped the table onto its legs before rushing into the bathroom and checking his appearance. The knocking continued and Fez made his way to the door preparing to greet the woman who would fulfill all his needs. And he had plenty of needs. Swinging the door open, Fez was disappointed to find Jackie and Donna standing there. "Dammit, you two are not my new sex toys. Unless…"
"No!" the pair quickly shouted, amazed that nothing could quash his perverseness.
"Then I have no use for you." Fez told them in a short tone and resumed his spot on the couch.
"Oh Fezzie…" Jackie cooed as she hesitantly sat down next ho him. "We can't leave you alone in this place alone. Can we Donna?" Jackie asked her friend who was towering above the pair of them..
"No, we cannot." Donna answered firmly
"And she doesn't know what to do with herself now that nobody is peeping out of her closet. Isn't that right Donna?" Jackie continued as part of their rehearsed conversation.
"I'm like a lone wolf at night." Donna told Fez.
"And it's not like she gets a lot of male attention as it is, right Donna?" Jackie asked.
"That is righ- wait, WHAT?" Donna questioned.
"Well, you agreed to let me say it earlier." Jackie said to her friend who looked pretty pissed off.
"No. What I said was, 'Sure Jackie. That'll get Fez out of the house'." Donna reminded her while rolling her eyes.
"Eh, don't be so literal." Jackie said waving it off. Donna swore to herself that she would take up smoking by the time Jackie gave birth if she couldn't find someone to pummel soon. "Now Fez, you don't seem Michael locked away from society. He's out there living his life and you should be too." Jackie told him imploringly.
"But Kelso was my life!" Fez cried out. "He was my friend, my roommate, my confidante, my beautiful tormentor, my-"
"OK Fez." Jackie said quickly standing up. "I'm trying to be supportive here but if you start crying over a broken heart, I'm gonna have to let Donna loose on you."
"Oh, please do!" Donna begged. "I'm going crazy not being able to hit Jackie anymore." Jackie frowned at her friend. She was going to have to be an even bigger bitch from now on just for that. This should be fun Jackie thought to herself as she imagined the free torment she could inflict on others during the course of her pregnancy. Clearing her head, Jackie returned to the task at hand.
"Look Fez, we're not saying forget about him. We all miss him so why not come over to the basement and spend some time with us? We can talk about all the good times we had with Michael." Jackie looked around her. "In a sanitary way."
"I-… I don't know." Fez shook his head sadly but slowly turned to the two girls with a hopeful look. "Could we talk about the time he glued himself to the mailman and had to go with him to deliver all the mail in Point Place? Ah, good one Kelso." Fez said smiling. Donna and Jackie laughed at this and smiled at their success.
"Sure we can Fez." Donna said and pulled him to his feet. Wrapping an arm around his shoulder, she led him to the door and continued, "We can even look at the photo of Kelso and the mailman trying to run in opposite directions away from the greyhound.
"Poor dog never saw that package of beach rocks coming." Jackie said sadly.
----------
MAIN STREET
"Fez? Fez, can you hear me?" Donna questioned as Fez walked solemnly down the street and ignored every word that either woman fired at him. This had been going on for almost five minutes when Donna finally snapped. "How could you do that to him, Jackie?"
Jackie was taken aback. "I didn't do anything to him Donna. It was the baby." Jackie said while looking at her stomach. "You didn't mean to do that now, did you baby?" she asked rubbing her non-existent bump.
Donna glared at her. "Jackie, the baby is barely an inch long. I doubt it made you grab the cotton candy out of Fez's hand and push him into a puddle when he tried to get it back!" Jackie's cheeks reddened in embarrassment.
"Well, it has Steven for a father so it has probably inherited his penchant for thieving." Jackie hissed and then realized what she had said. "Oh my God. I'm such a bitch!" Jackie said in astonishment.
Donna rolled her eyes. "Well I don't think that's all the baby's doing." Jackie gasped in offence but Donna decided that if Jackie could shrug off offending remarks then so could she. "Look, how about you just apologise to Fez so that he can speak again.
Jackie narrowed her eyes at Donna, fully aware at how entertaining it must be for her to see the former princess of Point Place begging for forgiveness from a foreigner. "I am… I'm…"
"Yes Jackie?" Donna pushed.
"I'm sorry Fez! OK, I'm sorry for stealing your candy and for pushing you into a puddle." Jackie said quickly looking for any changes in his behaviour. No such luck. "Um…" Jackie was scrambling for something else to say. "I'll buy you some more cotton candy?" she asked hopefully. Once again, no change. Then an idea struck her. "I'll let you see the top of the label of my bra." Jackie said with a smile. "From a distance."
Fez slowly turned to her with a face like a child on Christmas morning. "That is all you had to say my princess!" Fez told her and he proceeded to break into his 'I'm going to see a bra' dance which was pretty much the same as his 'I'm going to do it' dance.
----------
FORMAN DRIVEWAY
Fez, Donna and Jackie strode over to the Vista Cruiser and discussed what they should do now to keep Fez's spirits up. "I would love to see Miss Kitty. She always knows how to get me in the right mood." he said in his trademark perverted tone.
Jackie stared at him uneasily. "Yeah, I'm not so sure that's a good idea. How about we go watch TV in the basement with Steven?" Jackie suggested.
"But not with Kelso." Fez said shaking his head sadly.
"Fez…" Donna said softly.
"I'm fine." Fez said plastering on a smile. "We should go and have fun. There are enough memories of Kelso in that room to last a lifetime. Let us go!" Fez ordered and the girls followed suit behind him as he descended the steps.
----------
FORMAN BASEMENT
"Let us go!" echoed through the room as Hyde heard Fez and some other people walk down the steps to the basement. "Dammit." Hyde muttered as he shot up. This place was a mess and he knew what Jackie's reaction would be when she saw it. The door opened. Here we go Hyde thought.
"…We can bask in all the reminders of- AH!!!" Fez screamed once he took in the sight of the basement. Donna ran in behind him and she too stopped dead in her tracks once she saw the damage that had been inflicted onto their sanctuary. Jackie finished descending the steps and saw Fez before she saw the room.
"Fez? What's wr-" Jackie stopped speaking as she gazed around her and for anybody who had ever known Jackie Burkhart, they would know that she had never gone on this long without finishing a sentence. Finally her gaze rested on her boyfriend who was standing nervously on the other side of the room.
"I didn't think you guys would be back so soon so I haven't really gotten this all cleared up." Hyde coughed as he awaited the inevitable kicks to the shins or the laughter and ridicule he was sure to receive for his actions.
Inside the basement; the record player, the coffee table, the lawn chair, the couch, the washer, the deep freeze, the rug, the set-up under the stairs, the television and Hyde's chair had been removed as had every memory of growing up in this basement and this was too much change for Fez to handle at the moment, causing him to bolt from the room.
Donna sensed that this was yet another 'Jackie and Hyde' moment which meant she had to make herself scarce. "Maybe I should go catch Fez before he launches himself into the path of an incoming bus." Donna joked and ran out of the room.
As had been happening quite often recently, Jackie and Hyde found themselves alone in this room and neither was speaking. The reason for this could be that neither knew what to say, or it could be that the basement was now half painted an ocean blue colour, uncut pieces of cream carpet were scattered on the floor, stencils of several Disney characters were leaning against the wall and there was a newly furnished crib where the coffee table and the couch used to be. It could also be because there was now a rocking chair in place of Hyde's chair. However, if one was looking to explain the look of awe on Jackie's face and her choked up expression, it's doubtful that the first reason would be chosen.
Jackie slowly took a step forward and brushed her fingers along the newly painted walls which were obviously unfinished and then walked gently along the pieces of cream carpet which had yet to be fitted until she reached the crib, which actually was finished. She knew it was finished because inside lay a black blanket with 'Zeppelin' etched in white marker. Jackie lifted the blanket and ran her hands softly over the writing and the complete look of serenity on Hyde's face made him realize that he hadn't counted on Jackie actually liking his work.
"It's not finished." Hyde said at last. Jackie looked up. "I mean the blanket, that's just for now so there was something to cover the wood. We'll need a real blanket."
"No!" Jackie said quickly surprising the both of them. "I love it," she spoke much more softly. Hyde smiled weakly, feeling relief wash over him that she didn't have a barrage of negative comments about the design and colouring. Jackie held onto the blanket tightly as she walked slowly around the room, taking everything in. She fingered the stencil of Cinderella and Aladdin and let out a small laugh.
"I sort of took your suggestions to heart." Hyde told her. "But we're gonna have to butch up the drawings you know. I'm thinking the Hulk 'cos he could wipe the floor with a magic carpet." Jackie remained silent as she prepared herself for the last remaining feature she had yet to get a feeling for. The rocking chair. Walking silently over to the chair, Jackie let out a small laugh as she imagined what he must have gone through in order to remove his chair and put this in its place.
"Can I?" she asked him, signaling to the chair. Hyde nodded and held the chair in place so that she could sit down on it without having her morning sickness christening the new carpet. Once she was settled comfortably, Hyde removed his hands from the chair and rested them on her shoulders, massaging her gently. Jackie leaned her head on his right arm as she looked down at what she had been holding in her hands throughout this experience, imagining what she would be holding in it within a few months.
Hyde wondered how it must have looked to someone watching them as they were looking at an old, poorly designed blanket as if it were an actual baby. However the only person that was watching them was the woman who had sat in that very chair everyday with her two children and who was now the mother to whoever came into her house. Part of her was tempted to let the pair enjoy this moment but the stronger part told her that she should at least be able to remember this experience perfectly.
FLASH!
"Oh, Mrs. Forman!" Jackie groaned with a slight laugh. "I look awful right now so promise me you will destroy that picture." Kitty chuckled.
"No such luck sweetie. This one is going right into the album." Kitty started laughing and ran back up the stairs to the kitchen.
Hyde and Jackie both smiled at how crazily loveable that woman had become. "Well, at least there will finally be some good looking people in that album." Jackie stated jokingly. However, she was still amazed at what Hyde had pulled off here in the space of 12 hours and how he had managed to capture perfectly what she had always envisioned as her child's nursery. "Steven…" Jackie started but Hyde put up a hand.
"Don't start asking questions. Just enjoy it." Hyde told her. As happy as he was that she was so in love with the new nursery, he was not willing to tell her what he was feeling, when he felt it and what made him feel it. Some things would never change and Hyde's reluctance to speak about emotions was just one of those things. However, Jackie's persistence was another one of those things.
"I just wanted to know how you did all this so quickly." Jackie said to him. "I mean you must have worked at this all day." Hyde nodded and figured it wouldn't hurt to tell her this part.
"Well Red helped. But really it was just tossing a bunch of crap from one place to another place and throwing some paint on the walls. Hardly a miracle." Jackie smiled at him and stood up from the chair, placing the blanket back into the crib. She sighed to herself, contented. Jackie turned back to him and placed her arms around his neck, pulling him down for a kiss. All notions of talking were forgotten as Hyde responded and captured her lips for the first time that day. Once upon a time all they did was make out and have sex and then repeat it when necessary but now they managed to last all day without kissing, yet still being able to feel the passion they had been feeling for what felt like years. But this passion wasn't natural or a part of fate. It was something they made between them and something they had fought to hold onto through all the shit. Their friends may have seen them as horny and nothing else for kissing for so much of their time together but the truth was that as kiss was how they showed what they were feeling and how they allowed the other person to see that their passion for each other was always growing.
Regardless of passion, feelings and love, Jackie and Hyde still spent most of their time wanting each other and after sharing their first kiss of the day, they decided to christen the carpet with something a whole lot more enjoyable than morning sickness.
----------
FEZ'S APARTMENT
"I apologise, Hyde." Fez said to his dear friend who sat on the chair across the counter from him. "Ai, I did not mean to be so crazy when I saw it but it was a big surprise. And not the good kind of surprise either." Fez said with another leer to which Hyde gave him a grin.
"Don't worry about it, man. Time for a change." Hyde said with a nod. He was still growing accustomed to calling it the nursery and not the basement. Even though it was far from finished, saw no traces of the former haunt and feared what Jackie would do to the place once she was finished with it. He was picturing an image of her riding on Fluffycakes through a mall on the ceiling and teddy bears scattered anywhere she could put them. It would be like a… baby's room.
Well, duh! Hyde's inner voice said.
Hyde continued, "Speaking of change-"
"I was not speaking of change." Fez interrupted.
"Well you are speaking about it now." Hyde stated.
"Speaking about change?" Fez questioned.
"Speaking of change," Hyde started again causing Fez to sit down from dizziness, "I'm gonna need your help with something I'm planning for Jackie. It's pretty big and I don't want to screw it up."
"Oh! Are you going to propose?" Fez asked excitedly.
Hyde looked confused. "No," he told him straightly, "well not yet." Fez's eyes lit up again but Hyde was quick to quash this train of thought. "Down boy! I'm not proposing to Jackie yet. I've got something else in store for her that I want her to be happy about and I need your help to keep her distracted while I get this planned. Can you do that for me?" Hyde asked him.
"You can count on my, little buddy." Fez told him sweetly but Hyde looked like he was ready to laugh. "What?" Fez asked him crossly but Hyde simply walked out in laughter. "It always worked when Kelso said it." Fez said to himself.
----------
HYDE'S ROOM A.K.A. THE ONLY REFUGE FROM BABY CRAP
"So, Steven?" Jackie asked from her sprawled out position on the cot. Hyde looked up from his seat on the ground so she continued, "Where did you get all that stuff for the nursery?"
He pointed his pen upwards and told her, "Red had put it all in the attic so we brought it down while you were out all day. For an old man, he's pretty strong." Hyde commented.
Jackie nodded and asked her other question. "And what about the couch, the TV. Your chair." Jackie gave him a small smile. "Where did you put all that?" she asked softly.
"Someplace safe." Hyde told her. He turned around so that they were face to face and continued, "Don't worry about where I moved the furniture."
"But your chair…" Jackie questioned
"…is fine." Hyde assured her. He hoped that she would figure out his vagueness meant he wasn't going to tell her the specifics. She would find it all out soon enough.
Jackie sighed. "Fine, fine, I can take a hint."
"You can?" Hyde asked sarcastically earning a playful slap on the head.
"But one thing I really want to know… is why now?" Jackie asked him sincerely. "I doubt you just did this to get a head start on the baby stuff. What's going on?" Hyde knew her question was out of pure interest and not her simply being her nosy self. Sighing to himself, Hyde wondered how he could explain this to her without being probed with more questions. He decided they could build to the truth as they always did so he started off,
"I did it because it was time for a change." This was true. But it wasn't the whole truth and Jackie knew that. And Hyde knew Jackie knew that so he just waited for her to probe further. It was odd how he was a man who didn't relish talking about feelings but somehow her unwavering persistence made him feel more at ease when disclosing things.
"A change?" she asked simply.
"Well yeah. I mean getting high in a basement is all well and good but it's hardly the kind of thing I want our kid around. I think it would be a little bit sad for someone's parents to start off their child's life by not doing their best for them. Jesus, my house used to feel like the sewers." Hyde said in reflection.
"Smelled like it to." Jackie said but she quickly gave Hyde a sweet smile so that he wouldn't get irritated.
So far Hyde had not said anything false. He had wanted a change and a basement was not the most sanitary place for a baby. "And you know. We're not kids anymore. We're all living our own lives now and I doubt we'll all be hanging around the basement as much."
"That's true." Jackie agreed. "And I guess this will be good for Laurie's baby to use as well.
Hyde looked up at her questioningly and wasn't sure what he thought of his baby sharing the same space as Laurie's. But he and Jackie had recently had sex on Laurie's bed so he figured they were already contaminated.
Hyde stopped his wandering thoughts and decided it was time to tell the big reason for changing the basement. "And you know… it's…it's not really the same around here anymore." Hyde told her in a sad voice.
Jackie cocked her head. "Since Michael left?" she asked in a whisper. Hyde slowly nodded and Jackie sighed quietly. She had figured he had taken Kelso's departure harder than he was letting on and it didn't come as a shock that he would use the baby as the perfect cover for it. "You miss him." Jackie stated. Hyde nodded again and Jackie decided that the truth was out so they could try their hands at resting now. "Come on baby." Jackie said to him and he climbed in beside her, still dressed.
Although this was not the world's most comfortable bed, Hyde had spent the majority of the evening sitting on a cold, concrete floor so he would take what he could get. Also, having a gorgeous, sexy woman lying next to him didn't hurt. Yeah, this is a pretty sweet deal Hyde thought. And if she likes the next surprise then things will just be getting better. Just then, Hyde felt Jackie begin to roam around and leave a trail of kisses along his neck.
Things were getting better already.
To be continued.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A/N: I know, way too sappy lol. But there's hardly a shortage of angst around so I figure we can have some late night fluff. I've written the final scene of this story so now I just have to figure out how to get to it. :p Review please and I promise I won't take so long to update again.
Stay safe.